Is self pleasuring a sin?

[Marie D]

Stacy25 wrote:

>>if masturbation is a sin, how is a woman ever to attain [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] (it is a known fact that most women cannot reach [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] during intercourse) then? I mean, sometimes I wonder, not at all intending to be blasphemous, why is it that men can achieve [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] during intercourse and most women cannot?<<

If by m you mean getting pleasure from touching yourself, then sorry but this *is* a sin - for women and men equally. However, I think some people also use the word to mean a husband touching his wife in a pleasing way, which definitely *isn't* a sin, but is part of a healthy, loving relationship.

>>It wasn't until I talked to my doctor and she recommended masturbation that my orgasmic problems (and my sex life) has improved ten percent!!!<<

It may be bringing you physical pleasure, but it's a very selfish way of getting it. A Christian counsellor might instead have advised your husband to touch you in this way, which would have brought you closer together rather than encourage you to please yourself, which could reduce his role...

>>Why does he [God] give people sexual feelings before marriage?<<

You might as well ask why he gives us free will. God wants us to have the option to sin, because otherwise there would be nothing noble and decent about us choosing his path.

>>It's high time we stop making such a 'big deal' out of masturbation and give it the well-deserved unimportance it merits.<<

That's a very secular view, if you don't mind me saying so. There's no 'right' or 'wrong', everything is acceptable. The Bible tells us to avoid the sins of the flesh, that sexual activity should be confined to marriage... it's not something to be explored by one person on their own.

That said, of course if someone sins and then truly repents, they should be forgiven .

 

[Beta BJ]

ok melvaughn, i read through this whole topic and have a question for ya that you seems to either skip over or dodge completely.

what if someone is ADDICTED to masturbation? you didn't answer that question from swordsman back on post #61 and I want to get that answer from you. What if someone is addicted to it?

Beta BJ

 

[Johnnz]

Marie, you are a bit naive, which is not suprising for someone your age.

There is a lot of ignorance about sex, especially amongst Christians who often don't feel free to talk about it that much. Many men have no idea about female sexuality - how many were given good, accurate information by their church prior to marriage? Or the women too for that matter?

Black and white views, especially if they are not well informed, often end up in tatters later in life when reality kicks in. You could do well to ponder Stacy's reply more considerately, not necessarily to agree with all she said (I don't have any problems with it), but to assess the adequacy of your own sexual knowledge. That could greatly benefit your own marriage later.

John
NZ

 

[onlooker]

I also say that every detail of sexuality was designed by God and God said it was very good. (Gen 1:31)
So, does this include pedophilia and sex with animals?
I also want to know how any man can touch without having lustful visions in his mind??
I want to just make a couple of comments here:
First of all, if there is question about it in your heart, than this is the Holy Spirit talking to you. Many have said that Satan, and society have led us to believeing that this is a sin. C'mon...if this was really Satan, he wouldn't fill you with doubts, he would make you to believe that it is "normal", "a release", "an emotional discharge", and every other lame excuse I've heard here to accept it!
Second....is your Salvatiuon worth the risk???? If those who feel it is ok, and it is, then I guess I missed out on one of life's simple pleasures.
HOWEVER, what if those of us who believe it to be a sin are correct? Honestly, is it worth taking that chance; to face your Savior on Judgement Day? If you think so, then fine, I cannot stop you, nor anyone else.
Finally, I have seen so many times that "simple" things such as masturbation lead to bigger, and more sinful ways. One becomes board with masturbation, and moves onto porography, extramarital relationships and so on.
I am NOT saying that this happens to everyone. But...why would you want to take the chance??
We are here to Glorify Christ!!! So do you honestly think that we Glorify Him in our acts of masturbation?!?!?!
My opinion...take it or leave it.

 

[Danielof the Island]

OK, I've conducted a few experriments, but I'm having difficulty processing the data.

If self pleasuring is done with some kind of "lustful thoughts," regardless of how mild, I feel guilt.

If self pleasuring is done void of imaginative connection, then I feel no pleasure and no guilt, at least none that I can detect.

Whut does this mean?

 

[onlooker]

Daniel of the Island,
I have no idea how you can pleaseure yourself without "lustful thoughts"? I've never been able to accomplish it. I have no answer for that one!
BUT...I want to throw this one out there...
What does everyone think about "masturbation" if it is your spouse performing the task?
I have pondered this one for a while. My feelings is that it would be considered fore-play, and consentual, and ok.

 

[swordsman]

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[/font]Melvaughn...masturbation is NOT clearly identified ANYWHERE in the bible, and that verse doesn't pinpoint it....sorry. Let's look at that verse again.

Leviticus 15

16 And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.
17 And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even.
18 The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even

This test refers to sexual discharges, and the bigger context of this passage is PROCREATION. Masturbation is just manual stimulation....you don't procreate anything by masturbation. You can't pinpoint this verse directly to masturbation.

Secondly...Granted, it doesn't say it's a sin (for argument's sake, we'll assume masturbation is included in that verse of Leviticus), but it's UNCLEAN. The people there didn't want to be in an unclean state constantly. This is something they'd want to avoid as much as possible. WHY, would a guy make himself unclean before God without a significant purpose?? (egrocreation) ...and to do it every day? even if it's only for a few moments of time before going to bed. Sorry Melvaughn, that part there has some holes it in. What about nocturnal emissions?...you might discern that in my next post.

Also, Melvaughn...read 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, and read the first 7 verses, and you'll get to verse 7, where it says: For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. This passage of the bible is talking about PURITY...and it's referring to sexual purity especially.

By this timing method, God is allowing a person to have an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] as much as once a day without suffering any significant uncleanness. It also discourages a person from neglecting his sexual feelings until he has a wet dream that would make him unclean and quarantined for the whole next day

So accourding to your doctrine, God is ok with a guy to touch every night before bed time? The average male addict masturbates 4 times a week. God doesn't want any of us to be addicted to ANYTHING...so how could he allow a guy to touch everyday? He could be mastered by his own lust

1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any

That part of your doctrine isn't making any sense at all.

This would clearly include masturbation, wet dreams, and sex with a partner. All three: masturbation, wet dream, and sex with a partner would have also includes sexual lust and sexual fantasies along with them. These also did not require any sin offering. This also clearly shows it is not a sin. There is no requirement of any sin offering of any kind

This worries me, because this sounds like lasciviousness - tendency to excite lust

Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, (take good note of what I've underlined there Melvaughn, especially uncleanness and lasciviousness. Now let's look at verse 21 where it says: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Last of all Melvaughn, you NEVER answered this question properly: Should an addict of masturbation continue masturbating?

If your answer is YES, then it goes against 1Cor 6:12
If your answer is NO, then it goes against your doctrine, which I've exposed above.

You also avoided touching these verses...

1 Peter 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul

Galatians 5:16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh

I encourage any of you guys to read Every man's/woman's battle... It certainly is a good read.

 

[swordsman]

The idea is not to hurry things. Remember that God is the Creator of your sexual organs. He is the Great Physician. He can help you discover your body. That is why He turned on your hormones long before you are old enough to get married and have children. He would not have designed your body to start producing the hormones that create sexual desire so long before you should marry if He had intended sex to be for procreation only. He turned on your hormones early because He has provided a way for you to take care of them and intended for you to do so. In doing so, He also intends for you to discover how your body works and what will bring you the most pleasure. Your future wife should be doing the same thing, so when you are married, you can show each other the things that will bring you both the greatest delights. Proverbs 5:15-20 metaphorically tells us to satisfy our thirst for sex from our own fountain, not to do it with anyone else; then, when we marry, we may enjoy it to the fullest with our wife.

15 years ago, boys experienced puberty roughly at the age of 15. Today, boys as young as 8 experience it, and today it averages about 13 years of age. This is where boys experience erections, and begin to learn about their genitals.

15 years ago, boys are first exposed to pornography at the age of 14 years of age. Today, boys as young as 4 are exposed to it. Today's average is 10 years old.

15 years ago, the average age of marriage was 25 Today it is 29.

Now, in today's age when a boy experiences puberty up until the age when he gets married, what happens in the meantime?! What is a guy supposed to do between the ages of 13 (start of puberty) and 29?! (Assuming if he gets married at 29 years of age) This is what I call the "Dark Ages", and I see Satan trying to lengthen these "Dark Ages" in a guy, so that he'll buckle under social pressures and have sex, touch and do various forms of sexual immorality that has unfortunately become the 'normal' in today's society.

True...we're NOT created to abstain for such a long time between puberty and when you're married. I believe God never intended for these 'Dark Ages' to exist in the first place, but God always wants us to be innocent like a child.

 

[swordsman]

Melvaughn...I hope there aren't any hard feelings ok? I have NEVER had the intention to undermine you with my posts. I love you as a sister of Christ, though I don't know you, and I enjoyed this debate. Naturally, I don't agree with your view on this, and you don't agree with mine. So be it. It's just that I'm so passionate about this topic, and furthermore...seeing the hope and joy in the eyes of people when they break free from the masturbation addiction is a miracle from God!

This might be my final post before I enjoy my CHRISTmas break. I wish you a blessed time ahead, and the same goes to the rest of you

 

[SFBUK]

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So accourding to your doctrine, God is ok with a guy to touch every night before bed time? The average male addict masturbates 4 times a week. God doesn't want any of us to be addicted to ANYTHING...so how could he allow a guy to touch everyday? He could be mastered by his own lust

1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any

That part of your doctrine isn't making any sense at all.

If your answer is YES, then it goes against 1Cor 6:12
If your answer is NO, then it goes against your doctrine, which I've exposed above.

I encourage any of you guys to read Every man's/woman's battle... It certainly is a good read.

This has certainly been an interesting thread. It occurs to me that the problem seems to occur when masturbation becomes an addiction. In my opinion it's the addiction that is the greatest sin, ie 'worshipping' or devoting more of your attention/energy to something rather than God.

One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. Surely with his guidance one can practise self control in this area without abastaining altogether?

SFB

 

[Yusuphhai]

masturbation becomes an addiction to me and in it my association is unclean.Oh I am a sinner who needs repent. I have provoked Lord to anger.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

My suggestion: Don't do it too frequently in a situation that would cause you to fantasize about sex.

I don't think we need to be questioning whether or not masturbation is sinful, because it could fall either way. Some people do it so they won't be tempted later on and end up having sex outside of marriage. That's a useful thing if you have a head on your shoulders to think about it. That's the "release" part of masturbation.

It becomes a sin is when you indulge in it to the exclusion of prayer, Scripture reading and communicating with God ... and of course when you do it too frequently. It can become an obsession, but Daniel, I don't think it has for you. You don't seem like a porn addict either, so there's really nothing to worry about.

Moderation in all things. Some people can't touch without feeling guilty afterwards, and they quit. Others aren't hindered in their relationship with God by masturbating on occasion, and so they just don't worry about it. If it gets to be a problem or if you feel that at the time, it would be wrong to start doing it, then don't do it. But otherwise don't freak out. Some people are going to bite at you like wolves because they're frantically trying to remove "self-pleasuring" from their lives, and can't ... others just won't bother you about it. It's not something you need to confess to anyone. It's between you, yourself and God, and if he doesn't stop you, I don't see why you should let anyone else's opinion stop you.

When you're married, it's a different issue, but I don't guess many of the people commenting in this thread are married.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

masturbation becomes an addiction to me and in it my association is unclean.Oh I am a sinner who needs repent. I have provoked Lord to anger.

? bible verse? Never read a single one that said it was a sin ...

 

[Johnnz]

Concepts most often have a history. I have just read The Struggle by Steve Gerali. He has a very helpful section on the history of attitudes towards masturbation, which he builds on very sensibly. Any young person struggling with masturbation shoudl read it.

John
NZ

 

[ascribe2thelord]

Daniel of the Island,
I have no idea how you can pleaseure yourself without "lustful thoughts"? I've never been able to accomplish it. I have no answer for that one!
BUT...I want to throw this one out there...
What does everyone think about "masturbation" if it is your spouse performing the task?
I have pondered this one for a while. My feelings is that it would be considered fore-play, and consentual, and ok.

Actually it's easier to touch without fantasy when you're young. I remember myself being that way.

What do I think? I hope that when I have a wife she won't be afraid to engage in foreplay like that!

 

[ChildofGod88]

The problem with masturbation or anything of that sort is that it's addictive and it's bringing you away from God and his morals. I know it's hard, but you must at least try to stop doing it. The best of luck with your battle!

 

[DaNorthernLight]

For a long time, I have been unable to touch without picturing a female in harmony with me. It's terrible... I feel like I'm being choked if I try otherwise. I'll go so far as to say that It physically HURTS to touch without fantasy anymore... it's demoralizing and the emotional pain of feeling alone becomes like another kind of fire that scorches the heart's weakest points.

It's why I need to quit masturbating...

 

[ribbonbowtie]

WWWWOOOOOO!hold on there buddy.
No, not all sexuality is a sin when outside of marriage! How do people decide to merry? They spend time with each other, get to know each other, kiss (or makeout), and do a number of things that are "sexual" without being sex! otherwise, any guy who ever thought a girl was pretty would be in sin!

Yes, that is how many people DO decide to marry, but that is not how God says people SHOULD decide to marry. The person you marry should be someone whom you have a close spiratual relationship with; someone who has the same ideas about how to live their life according to God's word -- not someone who you enjoy making out with.

You weren't far off when you said "any guy who ever thought a girl was pretty would be in sin". There is nothing wrong with thinking someone or something is pretty, but once we begin to lust for the person, we have commited adultery in our heart, Jesus says.

Sexuality is a wonderful gift from God...between a husband and wife.

 

[Xzeekzx]

Yes- but do realize that when that was written, you were chosen your husband and wife. I'm not supporting sex before marraige at all. I'm just saying- in todays world, one finds their spouse, and in that needs to experience some things before deciding on the ultimate vow, it wouldn't be fair or right to do it another way.

 

[Nakiah4Yeshua]

Hello, I am seeking advice for a dear friend. For several years now she has struggled with this issue and is now engaged. Thru acctability she has disclosed that however infrequent (every other month or so) and "unimaginitive" (w/o thoughts, simply acting) she can not break the habit. She senses that either God is testing her faithfulness to her husband to be or giving her a "practice field".. I don't know what to do. I am tempted here too. so far I've reisted, but I know what guilt sounds like...

--help, thanks