Is self image about yourself or others trying to improve their self image?

[FallingWaters]

You sound a lot like the way I used to be.

I learned that people who have been abused believe they don't deserve good things to happen to them.
Even if they have a chance at something good, they don't take it because they think they don't deserve it.
You have to be healed of the hurts of your past so that you won't believe that about yourself anymore.
God wants you to have respect for yourself and who He has made you to be.
When you truly internalize how much Jesus unconditionally loves you, you will know you deserve good things.
You deserve to receive blessings from His hand.
God is a loving Father who gives good gifts to His children.
As far as being poor goes, I don't believe we should choose poverty when we can have plenty and some left over to bless others with.

 

[razzelflabben]

You sound a lot like the way I used to be.

I learned that people who have been abused believe they don't deserve good things to happen to them.
Even if they have a chance at something good, they don't take it because they think they don't deserve it.
You have to be healed of the hurts of your past so that you won't believe that about yourself anymore.
God wants you to have respect for yourself and who He has made you to be.
When you truly internalize how much Jesus unconditionally loves you, you will know you deserve good things.

Agreed, but emotion and heart knowledge are not the same, which is why it seems to me that the evidence of a "healed" self image is the ability to give sacrificially as God has given to you. Giving or Loving as it were without compulsion or guilt, but with love and compasion and joy. It is in allowing the Spirit to live through you because our worth in indeed in Him.

You deserve to receive blessings from His hand.

Not according to the bible. According to the bible, blessings are given by grace, and that has nothing to do with what I deserve.

God is a loving Father who gives good gifts to His children.
As far as being poor goes, I don't believe we should choose poverty when we can have plenty and some left over to bless others with.

And some have no choice but to be poor, does that mean that God the loving Father who gives good gifts to His children only recognizes some? or plays favortism?

 

[FallingWaters]

Agreed, but emotion and heart knowledge are not the same, which is why it seems to me that the evidence of a "healed" self image is the ability to give sacrificially as God has given to you. Giving or Loving as it were without compulsion or guilt, but with love and compasion and joy. It is in allowing the Spirit to live through you because our worth in indeed in Him. Not according to the bible. According to the bible, blessings are given by grace, and that has nothing to do with what I deserve. And some have no choice but to be poor, does that mean that God the loving Father who gives good gifts to His children only recognizes some? or plays favortism?

You can twist my words all around if you want to.
I didn't think this was a theological discussion.
I was only trying to help.
Evidence of a healed self-image is NOT BELIEVING you deserve to starve, to be poor and to be abused.

 

[razzelflabben]

You can twist my words all around if you want to.
I didn't think this was a theological discussion.
I was only trying to help.
Evidence of a healed self-image is NOT BELIEVING you deserve to starve, to be poor and to be abused.

wow, that isn't what I intended to say at all. Let's review it and see where the miscommunication lies.

[/quote]
Agreed, but emotion and heart knowledge are not the same, which is why it seems to me that the evidence of a "healed" self image is the ability to give sacrificially as God has given to you.[/quote] Sacrificial love is not about living in poverty or starving, it is about putting others above yourself, about seeing others through the eyes of Christ and Loving them with His love. Sometimes that is about poverty, other times it is not. It is about learning to be a servant as Jesus was a servant and has called us to become like HIm.

Giving or Loving as it were without compulsion or guilt, but with love and compasion and joy.

I am reminded when I talk about this of the old adage that if a man is comfortable enough in his manhood, he can wear pink. The same idea is true here, if I am comfortable enough in who I am, I have no fear of loosing who I am in becomeing a servant. In fact, I must have a good, God given self image in order to be able to willingly, and confindently give myself to the world as a servant. That is indeed a good self image. I might not always "feel" that worth, but it is deeply seated because God has transformed my life by renewing my heart and mind into His image. So it is no longer me that I see in the mirror, a fallen, broken creation, but instead, a vibrant, beautiful, perfecting creation. That confincence produces the confinence to be a servant.

It is in allowing the Spirit to live through you because our worth is indeed in Him. Not according to the bible. According to the bible, blessings are given by grace, and that has nothing to do with what I deserve.

What does the bible say, without God we are as filthy rags how is a filthy rag worth any blessing? God does not attribute value on us because we are human beings, but rather because He created us in His image in His likeness. It is in restoring that image and likeness that we have value. God created a perfect creation, as He restores that creation to its perfect state, it becomes more and more valueable. Consider a work of art. We make wood quilts, as we are building the piece, it is of little value. But, when it is finished, it's value is great. We are that work of art, and in our fallen state, we have very little value, but as the work gets moving along, we increase in value. Our value is in Christ revealing Himself within us, not us revealing ourself in God.

And some have no choice but to be poor, does that mean that God the loving Father who gives good gifts to His children only recognizes some? or plays favortism?

I hear the arguement all the time that "As far as being poor goes, I don't believe we should choose poverty when we can have plenty and some left over to bless others with." Though this may be true on the surface, many of us do not have a choice but to live in poverty. When we read or hear comments like the above it is like saying that God only cares about those who have a choice. The poor have always been at the heart of God. Show me one instance in the bible where Jesus ever said to the poor, don't put yourself in that place because you have value?! No, He said to the poor, you will inherit, you will not hunger or thirst. And he said to those who had, of you of little faith, when you have done it unto the least of these my brethren. The bottom line is that rarely do the poor choose poverty for themselves, this is rare indeed. We need to strive to see others, including the poor through the eyes of Christ. As those who have no choice.

 

[FallingWaters]

You said this:

We had a situation a couple of years ago in which we had an oppertunity to get out of poverty.

I responded this way:

As far as being poor goes, I don't believe we should choose poverty when we can have plenty and some left over to bless others with.

I am going to bow out of this conversation because this appears to be one of those situations where we just don't speak each other's language. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Grace and peace to you.

 

[razzelflabben]

You said this:


I responded this way:


I am going to bow out of this conversation because this appears to be one of those situations where we just don't speak each other's language. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Grace and peace to you.

Now I understand better what you intended. The situation referred to did not transpire. I don't know all the underlying reasons why but I know that the prayers of those who claim to love us praying that others would get the job didn't help. And how can the blame be placed on us when the church cannot even pray that this burden of poverty would leave us? Isn't the church partially responsible? Are they required to share part of the responsibility when they pray that we will not leave poverty? When does the church love to the point of sacrifical giving to the point of praying for those who are oppressed?

 

[rocklife]

And some have no choice but to be poor,

just a thought, is that when we compare ourselves to others? then we start feeling poor? I am at the poverty level according to the US government, I don't really feel poor though. I also study about tribes people who don't have a money system. They hunt their food and make gardens. I think poverty is sometimes not seeing what is around and maybe not knowing how to use it, but that can be overcome with perseverence. we aren't all going to be billionaires, and we don't have to be. God is good to help bless the tiny small things

does that mean that God the loving Father who gives good gifts to His children only recognizes some? or plays favortism?

I don't think He plays favoritism, I cannot explain the ways of God myself, I am thankful He reaches out to sinners and saves us in His mercy. I have been a criminal, I am certainly not any better than anyone else, I used to be very mean and selfish. He is gracious to forgive and give me new life and wonderful family.

I like the scriptures that remind us to be thankful in all things. I have read testimonies of persecuted christians. Corrie ten Boom in the concentration camp was reminded to be thankful when she was feeling miserable. Her sister said be thankful. Corrie grudgingly said "Lord I am thankful for the fleas" even though she didnt' know why she should be, they bit everybody. She found out the fleas kept the bully guards away from the women which gave them a tiny bit more freedom. She learned we can be appreciative even for misery. I also appreciate His ways, be thankful for all things.

I also have a death threat on me from my ex-husband (he has been to jail many times already). I have learned to be thankful in all things. Even such a thing doesn't scare. We have God, he is good.

 

[razzelflabben]

just a thought, is that when we compare ourselves to others? then we start feeling poor? I am at the poverty level according to the US government, I don't really feel poor though. I also study about tribes people who don't have a money system. They hunt their food and make gardens. I think poverty is sometimes not seeing what is around and maybe not knowing how to use it, but that can be overcome with perseverence. we aren't all going to be billionaires, and we don't have to be. God is good to help bless the tiny small things

I agree, in fact the bible says that we are rich if we can meet the daily needs of our families, how differently our giving would be if we saw riches the way God does, both worldy riches and heavenly ones. But we also must be careful to not make those who cannot meet the daily needs of their families feel devalued "in the name of Christ". In other words, to many times we say or do things in the "name of Christ" that shows favortism or blame rather than servanthood and value. Poverty is one of those areas God is showing me, there are others to be sure.

I don't think He plays favoritism, I cannot explain the ways of God myself, I am thankful He reaches out to sinners and saves us in His mercy. I have been a criminal, I am certainly not any better than anyone else, I used to be very mean and selfish. He is gracious to forgive and give me new life and wonderful family.

Praise the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. His grace is sufficient for me and you as well, and when we show others that same grace, we are doing His will and sharing His Love. Too many in the church today it seems are content to "preach" the message of God but fail to understand or care to live it. That's where sacrificial love becomes vital to our self esteem and Love for God. [/quote]

I like the scriptures that remind us to be thankful in all things. I have read testimonies of persecuted christians. Corrie ten Boom in the concentration camp was reminded to be thankful when she was feeling miserable. Her sister said be thankful. Corrie grudgingly said "Lord I am thankful for the fleas" even though she didnt' know why she should be, they bit everybody. She found out the fleas kept the bully guards away from the women which gave them a tiny bit more freedom. She learned we can be appreciative even for misery. I also appreciate His ways, be thankful for all things.[/quote] I always loved that story of Corrie ten Boom's, I thought it was lice though, anyone know for sure, just out of curiosity?

I also have a death threat on me from my ex-husband (he has been to jail many times already). I have learned to be thankful in all things. Even such a thing doesn't scare. We have God, he is good.

Lord, I ask that you send your protection upon this beautiful child of yours. Love and protect as only you can. But I also ask that you send those who can also Love as you Love that the circle of Love might be complete.

 

[FallingWaters]

Now I understand better what you intended. The situation referred to did not transpire. I don't know all the underlying reasons why but I know that the prayers of those who claim to love us praying that others would get the job didn't help. And how can the blame be placed on us when the church cannot even pray that this burden of poverty would leave us? Isn't the church partially responsible? Are they required to share part of the responsibility when they pray that we will not leave poverty? When does the church love to the point of sacrifical giving to the point of praying for those who are oppressed?

Understood. Sorry, I don't have an answer for your questions.

 

[FallingWaters]

Lord, I ask that you send your protection upon this beautiful child of yours. Love and protect as only you can. But I also ask that you send those who can also Love as you Love that the circle of Love might be complete.

I agree in prayer for rocklife's protection.
Lord God I pray You would turn away the foot of the enemy from doing any harm.
I pray for a hedge of protection around rocklife and her whole household.
We know that as a man sows, that shall he also reap.
We know that revenge is Yours, and You will repay.
Thank You for Your protection and provision for those of us who are the lowly of this world.

 

[FallingWaters]

I like the scriptures that remind us to be thankful in all things. I have read testimonies of persecuted christians. Corrie ten Boom in the concentration camp was reminded to be thankful when she was feeling miserable. Her sister said be thankful. Corrie grudgingly said "Lord I am thankful for the fleas" even though she didnt' know why she should be, they bit everybody. She found out the fleas kept the bully guards away from the women which gave them a tiny bit more freedom. She learned we can be appreciative even for misery. I also appreciate His ways, be thankful for all things.

I always loved that story of Corrie ten Boom's, I thought it was lice though, anyone know for sure, just out of curiosity?

I found an excerpt of that page of her book online.

http://www.broadcaster.org.uk/section2/transcript/hidingplace.html

Apparently, they had fleas and lice, but her sister had discovered it was the fleas that were keeping the guards away.

""'You're looking extraordinarily pleased with yourself,' I told her. "'You know, we've never understood why we had so much freedom in the big room,' she said. 'Well--I've found out.'
"That afternoon, she said, there'd been confusion in her knitting group about sock sizes and they'd asked the supervisor to come and settle it.
"But she wouldn't. She wouldn't step through the door and neither would the guards. And you know why?"
"Betsie could not keep the triumph from her voice: 'Because of the fleas! That's what she said, "That place is crawling with fleas!'"
"My mind rushed back to our first hour in this place. I remembered Betsie's bowed head, remembered her thanks to God for creatures I could see no use for.""

 

[EverydayPatron]

When I came to the forum, I came looking for a voice, and I guess maybe I am looking for the same thing in this post.

First the question. On a scale of 1-10 10 being high self esteem, where would you rate your own esteem?

I don't know how to say what is on my heart without sounding like I am complaining, and believe me when I say that even though I don't have many of the things others take for granted, I feel very blessed. But I need to say it none the less and I need to know if there are others out there struggling with the same things.

This week, I went to the hospital with possible heart problems, we still don't know if there is a problem or not and quite frankly, I won't go the rest of the way to find out. I think if I analize why, it boils down to a low self image. I know that my husband and kids love me, but all my life I have been told that I am not worthy. I guess, over time, I have accepted that. People here on the forum have no clue the agony I put myself through when I am told I am at fault for miscommunication or some other "critisims". I talked to a social worker a few months back and she said, "people have been lieing to you" "you have had it rough". I don't think I have had it that rough, and yet, I am so tired of trying only to be told that I am not even worthy of winter shoes or coat, or 3 meals a day. To come to the forum and be told that my ideas aren't worthy of being heard. Anyway, I am rambling and whining and I don't want to do that, this thread isn't so much about me, but rather an attempt to understand, is self worth about our own value or is it about others trying to value themselves thus cutting others down? Thanks for sharing.

When it comes to this forum, don't be afraid to share what's going on in your life just because it may be interpretted as whining. Now, you're right, I really don't know everything that's going on in your life. I don't know what it's like to go through life without those three meals or winter coat. I don't know what it's like to have possibly lethal health problems. But I do know that no matter what the situation, it's never easier to go through it all alone. It's better to be able to talk to people, even if it's just to complain and get some things off your chest. And personally, I wouldn't mind if every so often, you come to me with problems just to talk. I'll help in whatever manner I can, and that in itself should tell you that you're more valuable than you think you are.

Self worth. Who really determines that? Those in power exercising it to prove their superiority in one way or another? Somehow, I doubt that. Here's something I found I'd like to share:

"In a Codependent society everyone has to have someone to look down on in order to feel positive about him/herself. This is the root of all bigotry, racism, sexism, and prejudice in the world.True self-worth does not come from looking down on anyone or anything. True self-worth comes from awakening to our connection to everyone and everything."

It was found on this site: http://www.joy2meu.com/SelfWorth.htm


So there you have it. True self-worth is determined by living life in fellowship with others and maintaining that affinity in such a way that it grows to unimaginable extents.


Oh, and as per your question, I'd honestly give myself a 8. I find life much more enjoyable when you're able to face it with confidence that doesn't become arrogant. And that's basically it.


Hoping for the best~

 

[razzelflabben]

When it comes to this forum, don't be afraid to share what's going on in your life just because it may be interpretted as whining. Now, you're right, I really don't know everything that's going on in your life. I don't know what it's like to go through life without those three meals or winter coat. I don't know what it's like to have possibly lethal health problems. But I do know that no matter what the situation, it's never easier to go through it all alone. It's better to be able to talk to people, even if it's just to complain and get some things off your chest. And personally, I wouldn't mind if every so often, you come to me with problems just to talk. I'll help in whatever manner I can, and that in itself should tell you that you're more valuable than you think you are.

Self worth. Who really determines that? Those in power exercising it to prove their superiority in one way or another? Somehow, I doubt that. Here's something I found I'd like to share:

"In a Codependent society everyone has to have someone to look down on in order to feel positive about him/herself. This is the root of all bigotry, racism, sexism, and prejudice in the world.True self-worth does not come from looking down on anyone or anything. True self-worth comes from awakening to our connection to everyone and everything."

It was found on this site: http://www.joy2meu.com/SelfWorth.htm


So there you have it. True self-worth is determined by living life in fellowship with others and maintaining that affinity in such a way that it grows to unimaginable extents.


Oh, and as per your question, I'd honestly give myself a 8. I find life much more enjoyable when you're able to face it with confidence that doesn't become arrogant. And that's basically it.


Hoping for the best~

For the most part, this confirms the conclusions I have come to, thanks.

Talking does sometimes help, and it always gets to me when people view every discussion of problems as complaining, sometimes, it's just simply dealing with things, anyways, thanks for the offer, I am truely blessed beyond words, and I am the first to admit that.

What I have discovered is that many times God places us in situations and circumstances so that we will speak out. The poor need someone to speak up for them, to talk openly on thier behalf, I couldn't do that if I had never lived in want, because I wouldn't understand what they need. Again, I am blessed, I understand better the needs of those living in poverty, and have an oppertunity to say to you and others here, listen up, God has called you to love sacrificially, love the poor, the prostitute, the drunk, the neighbor, the homsexual, the enemy, love with the love of Christ, which is a sacrificial love. I don't talk about my struggles to complain, but to learn and challenge. Anyway, more rambling, thanks for the encouragement and the challenges for my own life.