Yech, Twilight.
Reading it isn't a sin. I think Twilight would be vastly improved if Stephenie Meyer a)had an editor and b) got rid of Bella and Edward. It's a pretty good story when you look past all the crap Bella and Edward drag people through.
As for anyone who hasn't read it, it's basically:
Twilight
"I love you! you're my soulmate!"
"I'm a creepy monster! You smell funny!"
"Are you Spider-man?"
"NO! I'm a vampire and I want to eat you! Rawr!"
"I'm not scared of you!"
"ok."
"I LOVE YOU YOU'RE MY SOULMATE!"
"I LOVE YOU TOO!"
New Moon
"I love you! But I'm 18 and you're 17 forever! Noes!"
"I love you anyway, even if you are an old granny!"
"I love you too!"
"But I have to leave you. My family's gotta scram, it's becoming obvious that we don't age at all. So yeah, I never existed. Adios!"
"...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" *BSOD*
"Hi Bella! I'm a werewolf! I love you!"
"Jacob! Teach me how to do dangerous Native American things!"
"OK!"
"BELLA WHAT IN HEAVENS NAME ARE YOU DOING."
"Oh Edward! You do care!"
"STOP THIS NONSENSE IMMEDIATELY."
"Edward, how did you get into my head?"
"Uh... Bella? Are you ok?"
"What? Oh... sorry Jacob. I'm jsut going to jump off this cliff now to hallucinate Edward's voice. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"NOOOOOO BELLA! I'M GOING TO JOIN YOU!"
"NOOOO EDWARD! DON'T HIRE THE VAMPIRE MAFIA TO KILL YOU! I'M ALIVE!"
"BELLA!"
"EDWARD!"
"I LOVE YOU!"
"I LOVE YOU TOO!"
Eclipse
"So, I wanna be a vampire, just like you, so I can be with you FOREVER!"
"Uh... will you marry me?"
"No way! that's a huge commitment!"
"MARRY ME. Oh by the way, Victoria's after you."
"Who now?"
"...never mind."
"Ok. Let's have sex."
"LOLWUT. Not until we're married."
"But but but-!"
"Hey Bella, I like you. Let's make out!"
"@#$@ off, Jacob!" *punches* "OWWWW MY HAND"
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU JACOB"
"LET HER DECIDE EDWARD"
"Guys, stop fighting over me like I'm some shallow Mary Sue! Victoria's coming!"
"Ok! Hey Jacob, let's all duck inside this tent on top of a mountain in a snowstorm so Bella can freeze half to death and we can settle this love triangle thing!"
"Great idea Edward!"
"GAH IT'S FREEZING."
"Cuddle up with me, Bella, I'm nice and warm!"
"Ok... uh, sorry Edward."
"grrrrrr."
"Hey Ed, now that Bella Sue is asleep, let's talk."
"Get your hands off my girl. This is her choice."
"Ok. I love her just as much as you."
*yaawwwnnn* "Morning, guys. Uh... wait, I can't decide if I like you or you more. Oh crap."
"that's okay. Victoria and her HUGE FREAKING ARMY is kicking everyone's butt, so we have to go down there risking your life to defeat her."
"Ok. GAH EDWARD SHE'S GOING TO KILL YOU" *cuts wrist*
"LOL VICKY JUST GOT OWNED. BEAT THAT JACOB"
"Uh... crap."
"HAVE SEX WITH ME EDWARD!"
"MARRY ME"
"...crap. Ok then!"
Breaking Dawn
"Let's have sex!"
"REally, Bella?"
"It's our freaking honeymoon!"
*sigh* "fine."
"GAH I'M PREGNANT"
"BUT I'M AN UNDEAD VAMPIRE HOW DID THIS HAPPEN"
"I DON'T KNOW BUT I'LL CALL IT RENESMEE."
"...lolwut"
"Hey Bella, I'm back from Canada-WHOA YOU LOOK AWFUL."
"I don't care what you say Jacob, I'm having this baby no matter what!"
"...wut."
"GAH IT JUST BROKE MY SPINE"
"GAH SHE'S PUKING BLOOD DO SOMETHING EDWARD"
"GAH I'LL TURN HER INTO A VAMP SO SHE DOESN'T DIE. WHOOO VAMP CAESARIAN!"
"I'm a vampire! I'm thirsty!"
"Let's go hunting!"
"Ok! omnomnom. That was fun. Wait, where's my kid?"
"Uh... yeah, bout that. Jacob imprinted on her, and she's like, a toddler already."
"Imprinting?"
"He's a pedophile who is destined to marry our 5 day old daughter who is somehow already a toddler."
"Oh."
"Hi Bella, hi Edward! Wanna see Nessie?"
"YOU NAMED MY BABY AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU JACOB!"
"Oh hey, there's Irina- uh, where'd she go?"
"She went to the Vamp Mafia to report our illegal immortal child! We need a big freaking army!"
"Hey guys, Vamp Mafia here. Irina says you have an illegal immortal child."
"A whosawhat?"
"Eh... never mind. Light the matches."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M ON FIRE."
"Anyway, sorry. Now that Irina can't be an idiot who jumps to conclusions anymore, we'll go back to Italy."
"K bye."
"Hey Edward let's have more sex."
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH."
so yeah. that's the whole series minus 300 extra pages of purple prose. Seriously.