Is pre-marital sexual relationship allowed ?

[mush]

I want to know more about Christianity. Is pre-marital sexual relationship allowed ?

Memes and fun

 

[welshman]

No it is not. There are Biblical reasons and non-biblical reasons. Check out a website called "got questions" it is a brilliant website for what you need.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Nope, and while welshman's website probably says all this and more, let me just spell out what I would believe are the most important reasons:

1. It brings the relationship into a level of total intimacy before the couple has actually fully made the commitment on a soulish and spiritual level. And since the couple has not yet been able to make the actual step into marriage, it means something is wrong there somewhere, or at least they haven't dug deep enough into the relationship yet to find out if something is truly wrong and they should not be together. Once they have embarked on a sexual relationship, they are going to be intimate whether they are truly ready or meant to be together or not, which will lead to great pain and heartbreak down the road when they find out they were not actually meant to be.

2. It destroys one's testimony. For non-Christians, this is no big deal. The world views it as acceptable for people to engage in non-married sexual relationships, so no problem. HOWEVER, they hold Christians to a much higher standard, often spitefully, and even if they don't voice their disapproval, many will view the Christian who is engaging in premarital sex as undisciplined or unprincipled at best, and a complete hypocrite at worst. This makes it much tougher for that Christian to then turn around and be a "witness" for Jesus Christ, when it's apparent that they are not walking in obedience to the Biblical command to marry in the sight of man.

I recently recall seeing someone post something somewhere, maybe here, about this question. He was a young Christian man in seminary (Bible college), and he was already engaged in a sexual relationship with a young woman who also went there. They both seemed fine with it, supposedly as I recall because they planned on getting married "eventually," but he wanted to know why he didn't feel more convicted about it if it was such a big deal to God.

I never replied, but my answer would have been that he actually was being convicted about it or he wouldn't have been asking the question. The problem is that while such a couple might have made a commitment in their hearts to one another before God, they have not made such a commitment to one another in the sight of man, which is what the Spirit is and will continue to convict them about. It is supposed to be a public declaration, i.e. that he is hers and she is his now, and that all concerned and everyone in society at large needs to respect that fact. Without this public declaration, those attracted to the man will say, "Well, I don't see a ring on his finger yet," while men will likewise see her as fair game if she is showing any interest.

And marriage is so emotionally involving that it is no laughing matter. Countless are the murders that have taken place over jealousies when hearts were broken, so it pays to go into any sexual relationship with a full understanding of the potential gravity of the matter. And if a couple can't get to the altar so that the sex is legally binding, they could be setting themselves up for real trouble way too prematurely.

 

[welshman]

Winner winner chicken dinner! Excellent answer dude.

Nope, and while welshman's website probably says all this and more, let me just spell out what I would believe are the most important reasons:

1. It brings the relationship into a level of total intimacy before the couple has actually fully made the commitment on a soulish and spiritual level. And since the couple has not yet been able to make the actual step into marriage, it means something is wrong there somewhere, or at least they haven't dug deep enough into the relationship yet to find out if something is truly wrong and they should not be together. Once they have embarked on a sexual relationship, they are going to be intimate whether they are truly ready or meant to be together or not, which will lead to great pain and heartbreak down the road when they find out they were not actually meant to be.

2. It destroys one's testimony. For non-Christians, this is no big deal. The world views it as acceptable for people to engage in non-married sexual relationships, so no problem. HOWEVER, they hold Christians to a much higher standard, often spitefully, and even if they don't voice their disapproval, many will view the Christian who is engaging in premarital sex as undisciplined or unprincipled at best, and a complete hypocrite at worst. This makes it much tougher for that Christian to then turn around and be a "witness" for Jesus Christ, when it's apparent that they are not walking in obedience to the Biblical command to marry in the sight of man.

I recently recall seeing someone post something somewhere, maybe here, about this question. He was a young Christian man in seminary (Bible college), and he was already engaged in a sexual relationship with a young woman who also went there. They both seemed fine with it, supposedly as I recall because they planned on getting married "eventually," but he wanted to know why he didn't feel more convicted about it if it was such a big deal to God.

I never replied, but my answer would have been that he actually was being convicted about it or he wouldn't have been asking the question. The problem is that while such a couple might have made a commitment in their hearts to one another before God, they have not made such a commitment to one another in the sight of man, which is what the Spirit is and will continue to convict them about. It is supposed to be a public declaration, i.e. that he is hers and she is his now, and that all concerned and everyone in society at large needs to respect that fact. Without this public declaration, those attracted to the man will say, "Well, I don't see a ring on his finger yet," while men will likewise see her as fair game if she is showing any interest.

And marriage is so emotionally involving that it is no laughing matter. Countless are the murders that have taken place over jealousies when hearts were broken, so it pays to go into any sexual relationship with a full understanding of the potential gravity of the matter. And if a couple can't get to the altar so that the sex is legally binding, they could be setting themselves up for real trouble way too prematurely.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Winner winner chicken dinner! Excellent answer dude.

Thank you, sir. And a Chicken Winner to you too!

 

[little1]

No
God made sex and it's for marriage

 

[gadar perets]

1Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1Co 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself (single). But every man has his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
1Co 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I (single).
1Co 7:9 But if they cannot contain (keep their sexual lust in control), let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

1Co 6:9 Know you not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
1Co 6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

All parenthesis/italics mine.

 

[Another Lazarus]

Trust me its sinful and the curse of bad luck with less fortune will follow the couple.

 

[St_Worm2]

I want to know more about Christianity. Is pre-marital sexual relationship allowed ?

Hi Mush, we all want to know what the will of God is for our lives, but the Bible rarely comes right out and says it. Fortunately for you, this is one of the times that it does. So here you go:

1 Thessalonians 4
3 This is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality;
4 that each of you know how to possess his own body in sanctification and honor,
5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God.​

I also noticed that you're pretty new around here, so WELCOME TO CF ..

Yours and His,
David

 

[LutheranGuy123]

There are also secular reasons. Having sex with someone changes how you think about them. It literally isn't possible to have a friend with benefits. You develop romantic feelings for that person. A one-time deal might not do that, but then you have safety issues, like disease and possibly being robbed or raped.

 

[MockingjaysGirlonFire]

Actually when "god made sex", there were no such things as marriage licenses or ceremonies. Adam and Eve, were not technically, on paper, legally married when they had sex. Sex WAS the marriage. Sex was the marital bond between man and woman. A piece of paper means nothing, it makes it on paper, but does paper keep some people from straying? No. Sex is the bond, as soon as sex happened, you were married back in those days. Finally at one point in time yes there were ceremonies and papers. But before that, Gods intention for sex was that that was the marriage bond between the two. I think unless you truly are going to spend the rest of your life with that person, don't have sex. Wait long, pray about the man/woman, and know that sex used to be, in gods eyes, the marital bond between two

 

[mush]

I am still confused.

I am a man. Is having sex with a woman who I am not married to allowed or not in Christianity ? Is it a sin or not?

 

[St_Worm2]

Hi Mush, in Christianity, sex is always considered sinful unless the man and the woman who are having it are married to one another.

Does that explain it?

 

[jimmyjimmy]

I want to know more about Christianity. Is pre-marital sexual relationship allowed ?

Memes and fun

Christianity is about the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. Do you believe He was raised from the dead? If not, who cares about what Christian think about sexual morality? If Christ is not who He says He is, God incarnate, then His views on any subject are irrelevant.

 

[Boring]

i think it's called fornification/fornication.

i know for a fact that adultery is wrong, or having an intimate relationship with someone who is already married.

if fornification is a sin, i think it would be a lesser sin because i don't remember seeing it in the ten commandments. though a sin is a sin, regardless of how a man paints it. so i wouldn't take fornification lightly.

i think fornification hints of unhealthy lust because a couple should simply just wait until after a marriage. what's the rush? besides, i think most men have partners who aren't really into physical intimacy anyways, so refraining would usually be respectful. lol lol lol

 

[Earatha]

It's a sin, usually. But different Christian denominations view it differently. Some view it as no more serious than overindulging in cake at a birthday party. Others view it more harshly. Opinions vary wildly.

 

[St_Worm2]

It's a sin, usually. But different Christian denominations view it differently. Some view it as no more serious than overindulging in cake at a birthday party. Others view it more harshly. Opinions vary wildly.

Which "denominations" are you referring to specifically (that do not consider premarital sex anymore sinful that that)?

 

[Earatha]

The church I went to was fairly liberal. They took the view that we were all fallen and you're gonna sin anyway, so this one wasn't a big deal.

 

[St_Worm2]

WOW, was that the belief of your local pastor/congregation, or had it become the official stance of the denomination itself?

I too was part of a denomination that rejected the Bible (as the breathed words of God), and rejected our Confession (the Westminster Confession of Faith). As a result, many things that it once touted as sinful/evil, it now calls good, right or loving, and many things that it once considered righteous and good, it now calls evil, unloving and/or judgmental.

Such it is in life when the foundation upon which something is built is moved, destroyed, or in this case, discarded, yes?

Yours and His,
David

 

[gadar perets]

It's a sin, usually. But different Christian denominations view it differently. Some view it as no more serious than overindulging in cake at a birthday party. Others view it more harshly. Opinions vary wildly.

It is interesting that you, as an atheist, calls it a "sin". Isn't that an acknowledgement that God exists and has a law that when broken is sin?

As for the opinions of Christian denominations, they are worthless. All that matters is what the Almighty says in His Word.