I have been struggling with this same question/issue for years. When I was married, I think it may have been right to be convicted of it being wrong because I had a partner. Now I am divorced, no one in the picture, and cannot marry again (many reasons NOT for discussion here). So I'm not taking away from a spouse, cheating anyone of what should be theirs, nor hurting anyone by masturbating.
So if I am single, live alone, have no thoughts of a person, do not use inappropriate contentography, etc. (which are all true) is it
Biblically wrong to touch? I do it because it feels so good and relaxes me. I even thought about getting one of those vibrators to get where I can't reach (if you get the drift)...again, because it would feel so wonderful to have something inside, giving me a climactic thrill that I will never in my lifetime experience again by a person. (I am against sex outside of marriage!) Three things stop me from getting a vibrating sex toy: cost; someone would find it after I die so it wouldn't be my secret then; and it would just be my luck that the thing would get stuck, break, or cause a physical problem and then I'd have to explain to a doctor which would be embarrassing.
Most of the time, sex wasn't that great when I was married, but there were one or two times (in 36 years) that it was awesome and didn't want it to end. I want to feel that experience again, and since I don't/can't have a spouse, what's wrong with meeting my own needs in a responsible manner?
I've heard and read both sides of the issue and am not convinced it is wrong. If I was convinced it is wrong, then I'd have to give it up somehow or I would be convicted. But right now I'm not convicted. I had gone months without doing it, fell into it one day, and again months went by. But earlier this week, the compulsion to do it became so strong and the release felt so good that I've done it several times.
Someone even said to me that if you're questioning whether something is right or wrong, then you have your doubts about it, and you're being convicted. I'm not so sure that reasoning is correct either because you can have an honest question about something and the answer might be it is not sin, so in that case, a question is not conviction.
I tried talking to a former pastor about this, but even though he said I could tell him anything, this was out of his comfort zone. He prayed for me, but we never talked about it, so I didn't get any help there. I know my present pastor would not be comfortable discussing it either, and after the first pastor's reaction/response, I don't want to attempt it again. I shared it with a female acquaintance (a pastor's wife) who I knew but didn't live nearby, and asked her to hold me accountable, but after a few times, she did not contact me again. I saw her a year later and neither of us said anything about it.
Well, that's enough for now. The more I talk about it, the more I want to go do it again.
I'm signing off for tonight. I hope someone sees this and responds.
