I can't really see a reason for getting married at all. I'm smart enough to earn enough money to take of myself when I move out. Married women do more chores and tend to be more unhappy than single women. If you work outside the home you still do more chores. If you earn more than your husband he probably won't like it. Then if you don't work you have men like Pat Robertson who thinks that even if your husband cheats you should be grateful for him supporting you.
So many men view taking care of their own kids as babysitting I find that disgusting yet you get judged for being a stay at home mom or a working mom.
Do you women think marriage was worth it? Do your husbands generally help you?
I think you are letting statistics which can be twisted in their own way cloud your head.
For example they always ask who does more housework and it ends up being the wives a lot of the time.
Have they ever asked who does more yard work? Who fixes things in the home? Who maintains the cars?
I split dishes with my wife and she normally does the laundry (although right now I'm doing more because she's pregnant and she has very little energy.) I'll pick up and do some vacuuming but she always does the more involved cleaning like mopping, dusting things like that.
But who mows the lawn? Me. Who changes the oil in the cars? Me. Who buys the groceries? Me It's a bit more involved then that but you get the picture. If you where to ask who does more housework, when she's not pregnant, I would agree that my wife probably does. In my experience women in general tend to be a little bit more of clean freaks then men, and so often they probably do more of the housework.
But the problem is a lot of chores in taking care of a family don't fall under the label of "housework". But they don't ask about these chores, they specifically ask about housework. It's for a reason.
And so what you have is a lot of women and perhaps men that respond to those polls who are basically used by the poll to try to make the point that "women do all the work" but in their own lives they think that the work is being done equitably. They don't ask them if they feel that the work is done equitably either, they just ask about housework.
There is more chores to take care of then just the dishes, the cleaning and the laundry etc. But they only ask about the housework because it doesn't make for a good news piece if it says "Studies show men do most of the yard work and the maintence and women do most of the housework." But if you frame it in a way of "These poor women all they do is work and work while their man watches TV." Then that gets people going everything from the men who on the defensive insist that they actually do stuff from the women who want to insist that men never do stuff outside of their job.
And where do you get the idea that a man views taking care of his own children as babysitting?
Really you are a bit young but as you get older the primary thing you want to do is make sure that any prospective husband has the same views on these things as you do.
Will it always be you doing the inside work and him doing the maintaining and yard work? That's acceptable, but I find it inflexible.
My wife and I never formally split things up, we just started doing stuff and it worked out. Which is also nice because it doesn't put us in the mindset of "that's your job" Instead we just do what needs to be doing and one of us ends up doing it. When we do split up the labor it's more on a time by time basis.
