Is low self esteem a form of pride

[Chococat]

I ask this because self esteem was being discussed on another Christian forum and one person (who I suspect has never had this problem) said that low self esteem was a form of PRIDE (she actually capitalised the word "pride" like I have just done)and said people with this problem have a "poor pitiful me" attitude. I suspect, though obviously I don't know for certain, that her post was aimed at me. It hurt me a bit and has me worried because I know God hates pride.

 

[Coralie]

There are people whose low-self-esteem is a form of pride or attention-seeking. E.g., there are people who, no matter what is happening, are constantly thinking about themselves and how they aren't good enough, will be laughed at, are going to be rejected, etc. So, by necessity, everything revolves around them. I have a friend who is like this; she's so caught up in how bad she feels about herself, she constantly says horrible things to people, because she's always panicking and then blurting things out...but heaven help you if you respond with , "hey, you hurt my feelings", because then you have to deal with an avalanche of tears and hysteria. It can be very frustrating, because to others, the person seems to be obsessed with themselves and unable to think about anything else.

Also, there are people who, no matter how much others reassure and love them, simply refuse to accept their own worth. This is a kind of pride too. I mean, when God Himself says "I love you", and we say, "well, I hate myself", there's a kind of disobedience there. Kind of saying we know better than God. And that's what pride is.

But then there are others who are very oriented towards others, and are dear and sweet, but when their feelings are hurt (as everyones are eventually!), they take longer to recover and struggle a bit. And there's nothing wrong with that, it's just a question of temperament, not a character flaw necessarily.

Bear in mind too that ALL people have some kind of pride they're suffering from. Having low self esteem doesn't make you immune! We are all sinners. This person may well be talking about herself. And in another way, she's talking about all of us! Me included!

 

[Chococat]

I think self esteem and pride are something that most of us suffer from, at least from time to time. I don't know if that person was talking about herself, but I don't think she was as she did not say she was talking about herself. IMHO her post had a touch of "I'm better than these people" about it which in itself is a form of pride. I do know that some people with low self esteem act arrogant and boastful in order to cover up their feelings. Others like to bring themselves up by pointing out other people's faults and accusing others of the very sins they themselves are guilty of. In fact I think we are often offended in others by the very sins we see in ourselves, myself included sometimes.

 

[djkenetics]

I think low self esteem is genetic to an extent, just like obesity can be
You just need to realize everyone is equal to everyone

 

[1watchman]

There are people whose low-self-esteem is a form of pride or attention-seeking. E.g., there are people who, no matter what is happening, are constantly thinking about themselves and how they aren't good enough, will be laughed at, are going to be rejected, etc. So, by necessity, everything revolves around them. I have a friend who is like this; she's so caught up in how bad she feels about herself, she constantly says horrible things to people, because she's always panicking and then blurting things out...but heaven help you if you respond with , "hey, you hurt my feelings", because then you have to deal with an avalanche of tears and hysteria. It can be very frustrating, because to others, the person seems to be obsessed with themselves and unable to think about anything else.

Also, there are people who, no matter how much others reassure and love them, simply refuse to accept their own worth. This is a kind of pride too. I mean, when God Himself says "I love you", and we say, "well, I hate myself", there's a kind of disobedience there. Kind of saying we know better than God. And that's what pride is.

But then there are others who are very oriented towards others, and are dear and sweet, but when their feelings are hurt (as everyones are eventually!), they take longer to recover and struggle a bit. And there's nothing wrong with that, it's just a question of temperament, not a character flaw necessarily.

Bear in mind too that ALL people have some kind of pride they're suffering from. Having low self esteem doesn't make you immune! We are all sinners. This person may well be talking about herself. And in another way, she's talking about all of us! Me included!

As a retired family and mental health counselor I can agree with much of what you said above, but we must keep in mind that what we might think of as low self-esteem by influences in childhood, or as a device of immaturity to get attention, may be a severe depression (bio-chemical or functional). In either case, a condition that lasts over an extended time needs to first have a thorough physical/medical evaluation. Medication may be needed.

Depression in the clinical state is something that is debilitating and if it is not physical and corrected by meds it likely needs professional counsel. Let us also pray for such a one, be supportive, and recommend they realize they are looking inward too much and should seek help.

- 1 Watchman
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[LifebyChrist]

I ask this because self esteem was being discussed on another Christian forum and one person (who I suspect has never had this problem) said that low self esteem was a form of PRIDE (she actually capitalised the word "pride" like I have just done)and said people with this problem have a "poor pitiful me" attitude. I suspect, though obviously I don't know for certain, that her post was aimed at me. It hurt me a bit and has me worried because I know God hates pride.

Esteem is a verb meaning "high regard or respect; good opinion"

Pride is a noun meaning
A sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect.
or
Arrogant or disdainful conduct or treatment; haughtiness.

Proverbs 16:18 "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."

Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."

Matthew 5:3 ""Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Try to have high self esteem and low pride.

This might help, just remember Jesus loves you.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

+ To self esteem

Ephesians 2:9 "not by works, so that no one can boast."

- To your pride because you did not earn your salvation

 

[YGK]

Self esteem is pride. We need to find our worth in Jesus and Jesus only. We have to look at ourselfs from point of view of scripture. Jesus died for us and thats how much we are worth.

 

[singpeace]

Chococat,

Anyone responding to another's emotional suffering should never chide or scold. Self-esteem issues mean wounds have been inflicted deep within the soul of a person. The gentle, kind, and lowly Savior is the source of healing and our example, and it is through His eyes we should strive to see.


And this is two-fold. Try to see her with the eyes of Christ. Be merciful enough to pray for her that through Christ, she will see whatever it is she isn't seeing now; and that her new understanding will propel her forward in her walk with God; increasing her faith and wisdom. She needs rescuing, too I believe.

 

[amazing_grace_love]

There are people whose low-self-esteem is a form of pride or attention-seeking. E.g., there are people who, no matter what is happening, are constantly thinking about themselves and how they aren't good enough, will be laughed at, are going to be rejected, etc. So, by necessity, everything revolves around them. I have a friend who is like this; she's so caught up in how bad she feels about herself, she constantly says horrible things to people, because she's always panicking and then blurting things out...but heaven help you if you respond with , "hey, you hurt my feelings", because then you have to deal with an avalanche of tears and hysteria. It can be very frustrating, because to others, the person seems to be obsessed with themselves and unable to think about anything else.

Also, there are people who, no matter how much others reassure and love them, simply refuse to accept their own worth. This is a kind of pride too. I mean, when God Himself says "I love you", and we say, "well, I hate myself", there's a kind of disobedience there. Kind of saying we know better than God. And that's what pride is.

But then there are others who are very oriented towards others, and are dear and sweet, but when their feelings are hurt (as everyones are eventually!), they take longer to recover and struggle a bit. And there's nothing wrong with that, it's just a question of temperament, not a character flaw necessarily.

Bear in mind too that ALL people have some kind of pride they're suffering from. Having low self esteem doesn't make you immune! We are all sinners. This person may well be talking about herself. And in another way, she's talking about all of us! Me included!

I sound like the type of person your describing its such an awful cycle, I really want to stop. its destroying my relationships I have with people who I care about the most

 

[StarsInUrEye]

It is an awful cycle and it completely reminds me of myself too. Some things I do out of attention or to make myself feel better. Then there are the things I do, think, and feel that are done because I really mean it. I feel bad because all the good stuff gets over shadowed by the bad and I can't really blame people for not believeing me.

 

[Trina Kd]

There are people whose low-self-esteem is a form of pride or attention-seeking. E.g., there are people who, no matter what is happening, are constantly thinking about themselves and how they aren't good enough, will be laughed at, are going to be rejected, etc. So, by necessity, everything revolves around them. I have a friend who is like this; she's so caught up in how bad she feels about herself, she constantly says horrible things to people, because she's always panicking and then blurting things out...but heaven help you if you respond with , "hey, you hurt my feelings", because then you have to deal with an avalanche of tears and hysteria. It can be very frustrating, because to others, the person seems to be obsessed with themselves and unable to think about anything else.

Also, there are people who, no matter how much others reassure and love them, simply refuse to accept their own worth. This is a kind of pride too. I mean, when God Himself says "I love you", and we say, "well, I hate myself", there's a kind of disobedience there. Kind of saying we know better than God. And that's what pride is.

But then there are others who are very oriented towards others, and are dear and sweet, but when their feelings are hurt (as everyones are eventually!), they take longer to recover and struggle a bit. And there's nothing wrong with that, it's just a question of temperament, not a character flaw necessarily.

Bear in mind too that ALL people have some kind of pride they're suffering from. Having low self esteem doesn't make you immune! We are all sinners. This person may well be talking about herself. And in another way, she's talking about all of us! Me included!

Thank you for this, you have no idea how much this has blessed me.

 

[Chococat]

I would add that some people with low self esteem become apparently arrogant and narcissistic, pretending to be someone great in order to cover up their feelings of inferiority. In fact I have come across some people like that myself

 

[_GodIsGreat_]

Yes. I can see how that is.

 

[Apologet3000]

It could be.

As soon some one start follow the Christ ( and stop care about self esteem) he would meet another enemy who try to kill him .


But it is another battle to fight in path following God after some one
already defeat self esteem,

 

[songofsongs4]

While I think it can be a form of pride as already stated, I would like to share what God showed me about it.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians that he does not "judge himself". For me, self esteem is a judgement for or against myself. Like Paul, I could judge things of myself and boast and they would be true, but I should boast in Christ for His salvation is not mine. This is where our minds must be renewed and we must learn His ways. His judgement are not ours and His criteria is not ours either.

For example, according to God's criteria, hating someone is murder, but for us who have been born again, our flesh is at war with us and our flesh can sin without us sinning (Romans 7). I believe this is because of the whole law thing. Jesus says the only way to escape a covenant is to die. Thus, when we died we escaped the covenant of the old law and were born again as sons and daughters according to the new law. But, for most of us, our flesh has not died yet. Therefore, there is still sin living in our flesh because it is still subject to the law.

So now we can see that our self esteem should not come from us or what we do, because that's complicated. We should ask our Father in Heaven what He thinks of us, for what He says is true; He can not lie. Even though the world ended up hating most of God's beloved, He still thought the world of them. He loves the poor even though most turn their ear from their cries. What low self esteem they must have from their circumstance, but God says that they will be blessed in the Kingdom of Heaven.

So whether our self esteem is a sense of pride or not, I would say, from what I understand, that we should change how we think. We should hopefully get to a point where we don't even think about ourselves. And if we do, we praise God for the amount of care He put into us.

 

[Apologet3000]

our flesh can sin without us sinning (Romans 7).

Not flash commit wrong but “internal man” commit wrong by using the flash in wrong manner.


You (we) do wrong by living in your self sin. It is free will of your(ours) to relate yourself to this sin and be came as one.

I believe this is because of the whole law thing.

So you make the God guilty in your will decision making.
So go jump from 10th level and accuse the earth to have gravity and kill you.
"because of the whole law thing".

 

[Apologet3000]

Thus, when we died we escaped the covenant of the old law and were born again as sons and daughters according to the new law. But, for most of us, our flesh has not died yet. Therefore, there is still sin living in our flesh because it is still subject to the law.

No one sin 1st century (apart Jewish) do not follow “old law” - wash hands, carry spade etc, but you have "new law" you well obey - taxation, green/red lights traffic lights, visa for travel etc.

All of us still alive and need visa to trevel and pay airline - and it is "law".
Of cours if you an spirit all ready - you may disregard and ignor it.

most of God's beloved

I not sure what god you promote, but The God – love every one at same level.

We should hopefully get to a point where we don't even think about ourselves.

And lot of people follow your instruction very well – get on drugs, get drank or meditate.

 

[helmofsalvation]

I'm sorry but I did not mean to do anything but encourage. But one thing I did not do was accuse my Father of anything but being Perfect.

The main thing I was trying to get at without going through tons of scriptures was that hopefully we can be so consumed with thoughts of Christ that we just don't think about ourselves because our thoughts are all about Him or those He commands us to serve. And I did say that if we do think about ourselves it will hopefully be with praise because of Him.

 

[Apologet3000]

I'm sorry but I did not mean to do anything but encourage. But one thing I did not do was accuse my Father of anything but being Perfect.

Have you ever conceder option that person I refer as Father and father you refer to is not same?