Is Looking at Boobs a Sin?

[Clement of Alexandria]

I am a little obsessed with women's breasts -- I love to look at a woman's chest when I am with her, but I am very timid and don't want to be noticed doing so or humiliated if she judges me to be a pervert or calls me out on where I'm looking.

Am I normal? Do other guys feel this way? Do girls like it when guys look at them? Will you judge us negatively or humiliate us?

I think that my sexual partialism and social inhibition are like the flip side of the very same coin. What do you all say?

Do you have any advice for me? Perhaps I just need a girlfriend so the fascination can kind of be satiated and worn off?

 

[Johnnz]

Welcome to the community of most other men. We have a universal membership.

Seriously, breasts are attractive in many ways. The real sin is seeing a woman only as something with physical attributes instead of as a person, which is what porn does. A normal guy your age is a very sexual being. Just keep your sexuality within God's principles, but don't try and deny that you are a sexual person.

John
NZ

 

[Penny_Lane]

I am a little obsessed with women's breasts

perhaps because you´re a straight guy???

And yeah you should really get a girlfriend....

 

[Nathan55]

I am a little obsessed with women's

Thats normal, but doesnt make it right. Lust is such a drag man. I am having trouble trying to let it go.

 

[phoenix_kid82]

Hmm...

I guess different things turn different people on.

As a woman, i find it really awkward when i am having a conversation with a guy and he is staring at my boobs. It's like they're looking at your chest, and they don't think you are noticing.

Most of the time, a girl will probably just stand there and feel awkward rather than speak up. Occasionally, you might come across an outspoken woman who will say something directly.

I try not to judge guys, i know some people really struggle with stuff, but as a sister in Christ, please ask God to help you in this area, and please try to make a conscious effort to not look at a woman's chest because we do notice it. We also have periforal vision, so even if we're vaguelly looking past you, we will notice.

 

[Darkhorse]

I know where you're coming from! Breasts are a beautiful part of female anatomy, along with their other "secondary sexual characteristics" that make a woman's body attractive to men. This is not perversion! God designed women to be different from men, and for this difference to be mutually attractive. He called it "very good".

However, society does have its rules and expectations. Girls and women usually become very uncomfortable when men stare at their chests - and they notice very quickly when a man even glances there. You need to "discipline" your eyes to avoid that area for now; a good way is to focus intently on their eyes, looking away to a neutral area (the wall behind them, etc.) as comfort dictates. This will become easier with practice. Women rarely say anything about this, but if they do, quickly admit your struggle, apologize, and go on with the conversation.

Girlfriend(s) fill an important role in a man's life, especially if social inhibition is an issue for you (been there, done that too). I would be glad to discuss this at length by PM if you like.

For many reasons, having a girlfriend would probably not be a good solution for this. She may also be put off by your staring; even if she isn't, that will not help you deal with other women. If she keeps her clothes on, breasts will remain mysterious, but if she takes them off, the situation could escalate quickly into sexual arousal and action (because you're alone).

I have not mentioned lust so far, because you didn't mention it. Lust is not the same as curiosity or admiring female beauty. You know lust is present when you urgently desire sexual relations, regardless of God, the woman, or anyone else. If lust is an issue, the "discipline" mentioned above must be extended to your heart, as well as your eyes. Prayer and Scripture make this possible (but it's still difficult).

My prayers go with you in your struggle

 

[Stacey]

I'd be uncomfortable with a guy staring at my chest. And I don't think finding a girlfriend to satisfy your want for breasts is a good idea either. Good luck.

 

[DerekDRPLVR]

all I can say is I am with you on this suibject ( but gotten to the point I dont do that any more and stare at the faces of the ladies now ). but use porn to stare at the breats ( yea I know i am sick and perverted but its better then looking at the real thing and making it look like your even worse.

hope this helps.

 

[Johnnz]

Most guys are the same as you. Breasts are a highly sexualised image in our society, and that is one reason why they are attractive. But they are also attractive non sexually, as the human body, male or female, can be as in good art in itself.

The attraction will not necessarily be transient, even if you are married. You will need some good values and a well thought out sexuality to reconcile interest and Christian values healthily.

John
NZ

 

[Annoula]

Hello Clement!

it's very natural for a boy to be interested in the female body. this is nothing bad.

from the girl's perspective now... i think some girls would be flattered if they notice that a boy looks at their breasts. but there will certainly be some others that would feel bad about it. and specificaly young girls and even teenagers that have not yet gotten used with their own body.

the unknown is always facinating and intriguing.
girls are also curious about boys, and their anatomy.
when girls and boys get used to each others anatomy things get more simple.

don't push yourself...maybe a scientific book about male and female anatomy and sexoual issues will help you understand better gender differences and help you in lowering the urge to stare at women's breasts.
scientific knowledge will give you an advantage to other boys that prefer just to stare and gossip... heheee. you'll know better!!

knowledge is always useful!

all the best!

Anna

 

[Mebby01]

don't worry its perfectly normal for guys to look at other girls breasts its a natural thing. I have been dating my bf for 6 months and he looks at porn and looks at there breasts its normal for any guy to. I wouldn't think you were a pervert l would just feel upset that you would only like my breasts and not me. I would feel upset and used but thats just me but don't worry its normal when guys look at womens breasts your not alone. All guys do the same thing its perfectly natural for guys to feel like this. I hope everything works out for you Good Luck

 

[BubblesRelena]

Hello Clement!

it's very natural for a boy to be interested in the female body. this is nothing bad.

from the girl's perspective now... i think some girls would be flattered if they notice that a boy looks at their breasts. but there will certainly be some others that would feel bad about it. and specificaly young girls and even teenagers that have not yet gotten used with their own body.

the unknown is always facinating and intriguing.
girls are also curious about boys, and their anatomy.
when girls and boys get used to each others anatomy things get more simple.

don't push yourself...maybe a scientific book about male and female anatomy and sexoual issues will help you understand better gender differences and help you in lowering the urge to stare at women's breasts.
scientific knowledge will give you an advantage to other boys that prefer just to stare and gossip... heheee. you'll know better!!

knowledge is always useful!

all the best!

Anna

I agree.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Over here, staring at a woman's chest is considered sexual harassment.

 

[HomeChicklet]

c

 

[romaneagle13]

To be honest, as a woman, I have to say that if some guy I'm not romantically involved with is staring at my chest, then yes, I am going to be uncomfortable and even annoyed. But truly, some women do like a man who appreciates their breasts. My husband likes mine and that's okay with me--because we're married! So, yes, some women may be flattered by the attention, but usually only a woman that you are involved with--a girlfriend or a wife.

 

[livingaftermidnight]

Yeah, I'm fascinated by the mammories too.

It's perfectly natural.

 

[Eruliel]

If it helps, I have a really hard time not looking elsewhere when I'm talking to a guy, especially those whom I can see eye to eye (I have no clue why...it's just a weird tick I guess), so you're not the only one. However I think society is really rough on you guys. You're expected to be kind, gentle, courteous and all this other stuff, when girls are allowed to and expected to wear somewhat-completely revealing clothes, and are told that to catch a guy they should throw themselves on you. It's not a fair exchange by any means, so I feel really sorry for you.
If you want a good context where you can look and appreciate a womans breasts I would advise you read The Song of Solomon. His choice of words is not really the "What light through yonder window breaks..." sililoque in Romeo and Juliet, but it's just as beautiful because it's created in love . You wouldn't expect that comparing a womans teeth to sheep and her hair to a flock of goats on Mt. Heber to be romantic, but it's poetic and that's what counts. It also gives some advice I'm finding hard to follow "Daughters of Zion...do not awaken love until it so desires" I've taken that verse to mean "Don't push getting hooked up, married, and satisfied until God has you ready for it". Perhaps the same thing could go for a guy? Don't awaken love until it so desires...if staring will awaken that desire prematurely or before you're completely ready then it's not good.
Try and train yourself to look in the girls eyes; they'll melt completely because they'll see you're sensitive and into them. And in my opinion eyes are more fascinating than elsewhere. I mean eyes can change color sometimes, they let you see if the person is sweet or mean, good or bad etc, and they come in several designer colors.
I wish you luck my friend.
Slainte!
Eruliel

 

[pixieprincess]

i hate it when guys stare at me. i want them to be attracted to me because of the way i am, not cause of my features. but trust me, guys are like that. just remember that most people r like that, were all curious.

best times ever,

 

[DjSpyda]

all I can say is I am with you on this suibject ( but gotten to the point I dont do that any more and stare at the faces of the ladies now ). but use porn to stare at the breats ( yea I know i am sick and perverted but its better then looking at the real thing and making it look like your even worse.

hope this helps.

No do not look ar porn because
that'll make you weaker and you'll contaminate gods temple(we are God's temple).
If u look at porn everytime you want to see a breast then
you'll be adicted to watching porn and that will lead to
wanting to have SEX.Like some other person said just
stare at there eyes
Pray> <-peace-

 

[Vilnius]

To the original poster: My hunch that your obsession with looking at breasts is lust. I strongly encourage you to read Mathew 5:28 [I tell you any man who looks lustfully at a woman has already committed adultry in his heart] and Job 31:1 [I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully upon a girl.]

Lust is a big no-no in the Bible. To help you in this struggle you may wish to read "Every Young Man's Battle." And for those girls who are tempted to excuse guys checking out girls in person or in porn, swimsuit issues, etc please understand that for guys looking lustfully is a type of sexual forplay for them that is highly arousing. It is not just admiring beauty. That is why all the focus on dressing modestly so you do not become a stumbling block for a brother in Christ.