Hello, I need help. I have been suspecting that I have feelings for girls and not guys for a while now, and I don't know what to do about it. The thought of being with a guy makes me uncomfortable. I am a girl, for context.
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Advice on being a lesbian
- Thread starter novemberbookshelf
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- Jan 28, 2002
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Hello @novemberbookshelf, first off (since I see that you are a new member here), WELCOME TO CF 
As far as what to do (as a Christian) about your feelings of attraction for other women goes, I think that both knowing and understanding the truth .. cf John 8:32 (about what God has to say about homosexuality in the Bible, specifically) is an important place to start. I would also include praying regularly to Him as another important place to start, not only about what you discover as you study the Bible, but about all the rest too, whatever comes to mind and/or is concerning to you (which includes asking Him for His help about what to do too, just like you've asked us).
Quite frankly, it comes down to making a choice, a choice, on the one hand, to listen to and trust God in spite of our feelings .. e.g. Proverbs 3:5-6 or, on the other hand, a choice to listen to the lies, half-truths and deceptions of our common enemy instead (lies that he tells us and then attempts to convince us of via our feelings
).
The Biblical, Christian living advice that you were given above (by @SavedByGrace3 & @Unqualified) is extremely important, as it is a BIG part of how we fulfill the following command from God too (a command that comes with a wonderful promise from Him, to boot).
I suppose a question to ask yourself is this, "what would God think and would He be pleased with me if I followed my feelings in this case by entering into a lesbian relationship"?
Also, I would set up an appointment to meet with your pastor so that you can hear his counsel about all of this, as well as have him pray for you. Our pastors are the Lord's undershepherds, appointed and tasked by Him to help watch over our souls and guide us in this life, just FYI .. e.g. Hebrews 13:17.
Praying for you!
May God bless you as you seek to grow in the knowledge and understanding of Him and His word!!
--David
p.s. - if you are looking for some verses and passages to consider about sexual sin in the Bible, here are just a few that come to mind .. e.g. Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 11; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; Jude 7 (for a deeper understanding, you may want to read the verses above, and all others, in the context that they are written in).
Finally, here are a couple of verses that I mentioned above, verses that I believe are particularly important to understand in regard to the problem and decision that you face. First of all, there is little, if anything, that is more important to us than knowing 1. that there really is "the truth" (which is His truth), and 2. that we need to know what "the truth" really is.
The second is an unusual passage, one that is definitely worth special consideration, IMHO, because it's a passage that begins by saying, "~This~ is the will of God", and then it goes on to tell us what that is,, in specific terms (which, if you think about it, is something that the Bible rarely does, even though most of us, I assume, wish it would do so far more often).
As far as what to do (as a Christian) about your feelings of attraction for other women goes, I think that both knowing and understanding the truth .. cf John 8:32 (about what God has to say about homosexuality in the Bible, specifically) is an important place to start. I would also include praying regularly to Him as another important place to start, not only about what you discover as you study the Bible, but about all the rest too, whatever comes to mind and/or is concerning to you (which includes asking Him for His help about what to do too, just like you've asked us).
Quite frankly, it comes down to making a choice, a choice, on the one hand, to listen to and trust God in spite of our feelings .. e.g. Proverbs 3:5-6 or, on the other hand, a choice to listen to the lies, half-truths and deceptions of our common enemy instead (lies that he tells us and then attempts to convince us of via our feelings
).The Biblical, Christian living advice that you were given above (by @SavedByGrace3 & @Unqualified) is extremely important, as it is a BIG part of how we fulfill the following command from God too (a command that comes with a wonderful promise from Him, to boot
).James 4
7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil ... and he will flee from you.
I suppose a question to ask yourself is this, "what would God think and would He be pleased with me if I followed my feelings in this case by entering into a lesbian relationship"?
Also, I would set up an appointment to meet with your pastor so that you can hear his counsel about all of this, as well as have him pray for you. Our pastors are the Lord's undershepherds, appointed and tasked by Him to help watch over our souls and guide us in this life, just FYI .. e.g. Hebrews 13:17.
Praying for you!
May God bless you as you seek to grow in the knowledge and understanding of Him and His word!!
--David
p.s. - if you are looking for some verses and passages to consider about sexual sin in the Bible, here are just a few that come to mind .. e.g. Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 11; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; Jude 7 (for a deeper understanding, you may want to read the verses above, and all others, in the context that they are written in).
Finally, here are a couple of verses that I mentioned above, verses that I believe are particularly important to understand in regard to the problem and decision that you face. First of all, there is little, if anything, that is more important to us than knowing 1. that there really is "the truth" (which is His truth), and 2. that we need to know what "the truth" really is.
The second is an unusual passage, one that is definitely worth special consideration, IMHO, because it's a passage that begins by saying, "~This~ is the will of God", and then it goes on to tell us what that is,, in specific terms (which, if you think about it, is something that the Bible rarely does, even though most of us, I assume, wish it would do so far more often).
John 8
32 You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free
1 Thessalonians 4
3 This is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality;
4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,
5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God.
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Zceptre
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In my own experience the flesh wants what it wants and that doesn't mean it will align with God's wishes (quite the opposite honestly for me). Mine has wanted relationships that were obviously not set up by Him. I've even disobeyed Him once trying to make things work out in my own strength (Abraham much?) and it was no fun ride ultimately. Obviously, He told me no to protect me, not to keep things from me.
I certainly know the feeling of wondering through so many experiences why something that doesn't "feel" bad could be considered bad by God. I eventually had to give in and choose what I loved most and put my trust fully in Him. It isn't easy for me to trust things I don't understand, but I've come to learn how to do it by trying.
Maybe there is something about guys in general that disturbs you? Something from your past or a bad experience specifically? Maybe you would need a particular kind of guy to actually love him. Maybe even desire someone more emotionally connected possibly. Just things that came to mind, they could all be wrong or off target.
Whatever it is, I would lean into God more and not less. I can tell you that He loves you no matter what desires seem to arise in us or how we think He sees us. He loves you and no one else has died for us but Him to prove it (Romans 5:8). He is love, He doesn't "do" love and change and stop (1 John 4:8). Also, things can change for us. Many things I desired at one time in life (and I mean a lot of them), I not only no longer desire them now but now cannot stand the idea of them. I wouldn't recognize myself today based on my likes and dislikes if I had seen the future me of today.
The answer in the end for me myself was to fall in love with Lord Jesus. How He loves me no matter what. How He has been so understanding and forgiving and gentle with me over the course of my life with all of my mistakes and silly ideas and poor choices. How He shows up when I really pray earnestly for His help and guidance when I need Him (even when it doesn't always seem like it at first). The beauty of who He is and the fact that I can always trust Him and that He will never let go of me or turn on me just obliterates me and I can't imagine life without Him. Reading the Bible more (the short New Testament books mostly) has opened my eyes a lot and helped me to understand who He really is to us more and how He will never give up on us. He is faithful and trustworthy and the best friend a person can have.
I wouldn't give up. I've fought my flesh most all my life and seemed to be losing the fight for a good portion of that time. I wouldn't change any of it now and I'm very glad I did. I'm sure He will help you just the same. PUSH - Pray Until Something Happens. Is something I've lived by and it has been powerful.
One last thing... A couple verses that opened my eyes to things I didn't understand. Maybe it will help you too. I didn't know that "not sinning" meant there was pain involved with giving things up that I (or my flesh) wanted. I expected that God would change my desires to fit His wishes, but I learned that this is not necessarily the case with the flesh. Like I said, the flesh wants what it wants and it is no more fun for us than it has been for anyone else rejecting the flesh.
Hebrews 11:25
choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin,
This verse is referring to Moses who had access to everything a person could want in Egypt.
1 Peter 4:1 (NKJV)
Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin,
1 Peter 4:1 (BSB)
Therefore, since Christ suffered in His body, arm yourselves with the same resolve, because anyone who has suffered in his body is done with sin.
Rejecting what the flesh wants isn't easy, and can be painful, but it is also worth it ultimately. I destroyed many things giving in to my flesh and it didn't have to happen. It is hard either way, but only one way is worth it in the end.
Saying a prayer for you.
I certainly know the feeling of wondering through so many experiences why something that doesn't "feel" bad could be considered bad by God. I eventually had to give in and choose what I loved most and put my trust fully in Him. It isn't easy for me to trust things I don't understand, but I've come to learn how to do it by trying.
Maybe there is something about guys in general that disturbs you? Something from your past or a bad experience specifically? Maybe you would need a particular kind of guy to actually love him. Maybe even desire someone more emotionally connected possibly. Just things that came to mind, they could all be wrong or off target.
Whatever it is, I would lean into God more and not less. I can tell you that He loves you no matter what desires seem to arise in us or how we think He sees us. He loves you and no one else has died for us but Him to prove it (Romans 5:8). He is love, He doesn't "do" love and change and stop (1 John 4:8). Also, things can change for us. Many things I desired at one time in life (and I mean a lot of them), I not only no longer desire them now but now cannot stand the idea of them. I wouldn't recognize myself today based on my likes and dislikes if I had seen the future me of today.
The answer in the end for me myself was to fall in love with Lord Jesus. How He loves me no matter what. How He has been so understanding and forgiving and gentle with me over the course of my life with all of my mistakes and silly ideas and poor choices. How He shows up when I really pray earnestly for His help and guidance when I need Him (even when it doesn't always seem like it at first). The beauty of who He is and the fact that I can always trust Him and that He will never let go of me or turn on me just obliterates me and I can't imagine life without Him. Reading the Bible more (the short New Testament books mostly) has opened my eyes a lot and helped me to understand who He really is to us more and how He will never give up on us. He is faithful and trustworthy and the best friend a person can have.
I wouldn't give up. I've fought my flesh most all my life and seemed to be losing the fight for a good portion of that time. I wouldn't change any of it now and I'm very glad I did. I'm sure He will help you just the same. PUSH - Pray Until Something Happens. Is something I've lived by and it has been powerful.
One last thing... A couple verses that opened my eyes to things I didn't understand. Maybe it will help you too. I didn't know that "not sinning" meant there was pain involved with giving things up that I (or my flesh) wanted. I expected that God would change my desires to fit His wishes, but I learned that this is not necessarily the case with the flesh. Like I said, the flesh wants what it wants and it is no more fun for us than it has been for anyone else rejecting the flesh.
Hebrews 11:25
choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin,
This verse is referring to Moses who had access to everything a person could want in Egypt.
1 Peter 4:1 (NKJV)
Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin,
1 Peter 4:1 (BSB)
Therefore, since Christ suffered in His body, arm yourselves with the same resolve, because anyone who has suffered in his body is done with sin.
Rejecting what the flesh wants isn't easy, and can be painful, but it is also worth it ultimately. I destroyed many things giving in to my flesh and it didn't have to happen. It is hard either way, but only one way is worth it in the end.
Saying a prayer for you.
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- Feb 5, 2002
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Seriously everyone? This is the TEEN area. Anyone who is not a teenager is NOT allowed to pop in here to participate.
The subforum for serious Teen discussions. Please observe our forum rules. Only for ages 16-19
The subforum for serious Teen discussions. Please observe our forum rules. Only for ages 16-19
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Thank you.Hello @novemberbookshelf, first off (since I see that you are a new member here), WELCOME TO CF
As far as what to do (as a Christian) about your feelings of attraction for other women goes, I think that both knowing and understanding the truth .. cf John 8:32 (about what God has to say about homosexuality in the Bible, specifically) is an important place to start. I would also include praying regularly to Him as another important place to start, not only about what you discover as you study the Bible, but about all the rest too, whatever comes to mind and/or is concerning to you (which includes asking Him for His help about what to do too, just like you've asked us).
Quite frankly, it comes down to making a choice, a choice, on the one hand, to listen to and trust God in spite of our feelings .. e.g. Proverbs 3:5-6 or, on the other hand, a choice to listen to the lies, half-truths and deceptions of our common enemy instead (lies that he tells us and then attempts to convince us of via our feelings
The Biblical, Christian living advice that you were given above (by @SavedByGrace3 & @Unqualified) is extremely important, as it is a BIG part of how we fulfill the following command from God too (a command that comes with a wonderful promise from Him, to boot
James 47 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil ... and he will flee from you.
I suppose a question to ask yourself is this, "what would God think and would He be pleased with me if I followed my feelings in this case by entering into a lesbian relationship"?
Also, I would set up an appointment to meet with your pastor so that you can hear his counsel about all of this, as well as have him pray for you. Our pastors are the Lord's undershepherds, appointed and tasked by Him to help watch over our souls and guide us in this life, just FYI .. e.g. Hebrews 13:17.
Praying for you!
May God bless you as you seek to grow in the knowledge and understanding of Him and His word!!
--David
p.s. - if you are looking for some verses and passages to consider about sexual sin in the Bible, here are just a few that come to mind .. e.g. Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 11; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; Jude 7 (for a deeper understanding, you may want to read the verses above, and all others, in the context that they are written in).
Here are a couple of verses that I mentioned above, verses that I believe are particularly important to understand in regard to the problem and decision that you face. First of all, there is little, if anything, that is more important to us than knowing 1. that there really is "the truth" (which is His truth), and 2. that we need to know what "the truth" really is.
The second is an unusual passage, one that is definitely worth special consideration, IMHO, because it's a passage that begins by telling us what the will of God for us is, in specific terms (which, if you think about it, is something that the Bible rarely does).
John 832 You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free1 Thessalonians 43 This is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God..
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0
Thank you.In my own experience the flesh wants what it wants and that doesn't mean it will align with God's wishes (quite the opposite honestly for me). Mine has wanted relationships that were obviously not set up by Him. I've even disobeyed Him once trying to make things work out in my own strength (Abraham much?) and it was no fun ride ultimately. Obviously, He told me no to protect me, not to keep things from me.
I certainly know the feeling of wondering through so many experiences why something that doesn't "feel" bad could be considered bad by God. I eventually had to give in and choose what I loved most and put my trust fully in Him. It isn't easy for me to trust things I don't understand, but I've come to learn how to do it by trying.
Maybe there is something about guys in general that disturbs you? Something from your past or a bad experience specifically? Maybe you would need a particular kind of guy to actually love him. Maybe even desire someone more emotionally connected possibly. Just things that came to mind, they could all be wrong or off target.
Whatever it is, I would lean into God more and not less. I can tell you that He loves you no matter what desires seem to arise in us or how we think He sees us. He loves you and no one else has died for us but Him to prove it (Romans 5:8). He is love, He doesn't "do" love and change and stop (1 John 4:8). Also, things can change for us. Many things I desired at one time in life (and I mean a lot of them), I not only no longer desire them now but now cannot stand the idea of them. I wouldn't recognize myself today based on my likes and dislikes if I had seen the future me of today.
The answer in the end for me myself was to fall in love with Lord Jesus. How He loves me no matter what. How He has been so understanding and forgiving and gentle with me over the course of my life with all of my mistakes and silly ideas and poor choices. How He shows up when I really pray earnestly for His help and guidance when I need Him (even when it doesn't always seem like it at first). The beauty of who He is and the fact that I can always trust Him and that He will never let go of me or turn on me just obliterates me and I can't imagine life without Him. Reading the Bible more (the short New Testament books mostly) has opened my eyes a lot and helped me to understand who He really is to us more and how He will never give up on us. He is faithful and trustworthy and the best friend a person can have.
I wouldn't give up. I've fought my flesh most all my life and seemed to be losing the fight for a good portion of that time. I wouldn't change any of it now and I'm very glad I did. I'm sure He will help you just the same. PUSH - Pray Until Something Happens. Is something I've lived by and it has been powerful.
One last thing... A couple verses that opened my eyes to things I didn't understand. Maybe it will help you too. I didn't know that "not sinning" meant there was pain involved with giving things up that I (or my flesh) wanted. I expected that God would change my desires to fit His wishes, but I learned that this is not necessarily the case with the flesh. Like I said, the flesh wants what it wants and it is no more fun for us than it has been for anyone else rejecting the flesh.
Hebrews 11:25
choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin,
This verse is referring to Moses who had access to everything a person could want in Egypt.
1 Peter 4:1 (NKJV)
Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin,
1 Peter 4:1 (BSB)
Therefore, since Christ suffered in His body, arm yourselves with the same resolve, because anyone who has suffered in his body is done with sin.
Rejecting what the flesh wants isn't easy, and can be painful, but it is also worth it ultimately. I destroyed many things giving in to my flesh and it didn't have to happen. It is hard either way, but only one way is worth it in the end.
Saying a prayer for you.
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- Jan 28, 2002
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Hello again Novemberbookshelf, I believe that @Michie is correct, this forum is for 16–19-year-olds only, so I apologize as I should not have posted here. If you'd like me to remove my post, please don't hesitate to let me know and I will do so immediately!
God bless you!!
--David
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Zceptre
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Apologies. I thought it was the Christian Advice section. I have no intentions of breaking forum rules. I'll be sure to check the headings from now on. If staff wants me to delete this post, I will.
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