Is it wrong...

[New_Wineskin]

Disclaimer: I want everyone here to know before they begin reading this thread that the purpose for me posting this thread is for thoughtful discussion and that I am not trying to argue or be disrepsectful to anyone by asking these questions.

7 Questions Concerning sex and sexuality:

1. Is it wrong for me to have a sexual desire for a woman besides my wife and if it is not wrong how many am I allowed to have before it becomes wrong?

2. (removed for controversial reasons)

3. Is it wrong if my wife is in the Army and I am not able to be sexually satisfied while she is deployed to touch to keep from having sex with someone else? (she could be gone for up to 2 years at a time)

4. Is it wrong for me to put myself in a position where I am tempted to think about sex with other women? (This could include, but not be limited to: watching TV or movies that have sexy women on them)

5. The marriage bed is undefiled in all ways...Does that mean that sexual fantasies acted out in the marriage bed are OK, what about fantasies about other people...is the rule...as long as both parties are OK with it then its OK?

6. If my wife will only have sex with me once a month and consequentially my sexual desires (that I cannot contain) are not satisified is it wrong for me to touch or would it be better to have a lover (that my wife approves of) or would it be better to get a divorce?

7. Which one is worse, masturbation or sex outside of marriage?


These are just a few questions concerning sexuality. I would like to hear your thoughts on each one of these and how you would counsel each situation. Please explain the reasoning behind your answers.

Thanks

These questions are either between you and the Lord or your wife and the Lord or are general questions that have no answers .

 

[JAS4Yeshua]

Have no answers? Why would you say that? Would you tell that to a person you were counseling who was struggling with those issues?

 

[nephilimiyr]

Amen, especially in the church. I find that people who have spent most of their lives in church can be some of the most conditioned, and it takes a while and process to be unconditioned ( and only by the power of God ) I remember when I first got saved and I didn't really know much about anything except I knew God was real and Jesus was Lord. I remember the Lord telling me clearly, "I do not want you to get tied up in religion, but to get to know ME". I kinda still did not get the 'religion' part because I did not grow up in church..( Though I was in foster care for a few years and they were extremely religious people when I look back on it, but that is where the seeds of Jesus were planted in me ) I did know though for those few years that what those people were doing and preaching was not right, I just knew it..but I did not know all the details of why. I knew something was very wrong, and I was a very young girl.

Just wondering, do you stay in contact with those foster parents anymore?

.....There is nothing like knowing the Grace of God, and that we are not saved by our works, NONE of them, but simply Grace..It is Grace that has already done the work......

When you say "It is Grace that has already done the work" you are so right! Too many people believe that God is progressively doing the work in us but the work is already done, fully have we recieved. It's a matter of renewing our minds to that work that was completed already.

Oh and BTW, I think the major thing we don't agree on is...you know what..

LOL, yes, and we both agreed not to talk about it.

 

[Elijah2]

7 Questions Concerning sex and sexuality:

1. Is it wrong for me to have a sexual desire for a woman besides my wife and if it is not wrong how many am I allowed to have before it becomes wrong?
Yes!

Sexual desire for another woman is LUST!

2. (removed for controversial reasons)
Weaky!

3. Is it wrong if my wife is in the Army and I am not able to be sexually satisfied while she is deployed to touch to keep from having sex with someone else? (she could be gone for up to 2 years at a time)
If your wife is in the Army, then your refrain from having sex with another woman.

Masturbation does two things: release frustrations, keeps you honest, and keeps the prostate gland functioning and avoids prostate cancer.

4. Is it wrong for me to put myself in a position where I am tempted to think about sex with other women? (This could include, but not be limited to: watching TV or movies that have sexy women on them)
Well, if you do, then it means you are weak.

5. The marriage bed is undefiled in all ways...Does that mean that sexual fantasies acted out in the marriage bed are OK, what about fantasies about other people...is the rule...as long as both parties are OK with it then its OK?
Hot potato, and getting personal and impersonal.

6. If my wife will only have sex with me once a month and consequentially my sexual desires (that I cannot contain) are not satisified is it wrong for me to touch or would it be better to have a lover (that my wife approves of) or would it be better to get a divorce?
Well, commonsense will suffice, but if you search for a lover you will be going to the hellfire, won’t you?

You need to get your priorities right.

7. Which one is worse, masturbation or sex outside of marriage?
Sex out of marriage, at masturbation keeps you sain, viral, stops prostate cancer.

 

[ANM29]

Just wondering, do you stay in contact with those foster parents anymore?

No, one is dead and the other is still alive. Let me give you a brief history of them. They both were preachers and had 3 different churches. One together, and two separate...and at times we would all come together for services. My foster dad sexually abused me the four years I was there. He took my virginity at the age of eleven and continued to abuse me for four years and have sex with me. He died about a year after he was convicted of the crime, and I believe that was the plan of God, because I was planning to kill him and anybody that got in my way..Seriously. God knew had he lived I would have destroyed my life and probably the lives of others by my anger and rage and most of all unforgiveness.

It took me YEARS to forgive both of them, but I knew the day the Lord had finally released me from carrying that baggage and wounds of what happened to me in that house.

The Lord sent me back to my hometown after years of living away from it, (This was just now three years ago ) I did not want to go, but I had too...I had to obey God. I realized when I got back that he was sending me back for a few reasons, and one was closure with my real dad, and even my foster mom. My aunt was going to visit a church and I felt lead to go there..I do not go to church unless the Lord leads me..and the Lord told me clearly, "She will there tonight"...and guess what, I am praising the Lord in song and my aunt says, "Guess who is sitting behind us" I look back and it is her. I felt a peace and that was confirmation I had forgiven her. The Lord said, "Before you leave give her a hug"...I did, she hugged me and said, "Oh, I wish you would come and see me"..I said, "You know what, I will make plans to while I am here"..etc....I did not go, but realized the Lord was testing me......I was also planning to kill her as well at one time...I got closure that night and walked out of that church knowing that that wound was healed.

I have had to forgive many men for sexual abuse I encountered as a child, he was just one of the 4 that had abused me...and I tell you it was because of GRACE and God not allowing me to stay that way. When I did not want to let it go, the Grace of God made it possible.

When you say "It is Grace that has already done the work" you are so right! Too many people believe that God is progressively doing the work in us but the work is already done, fully have we recieved. It's a matter of renewing our minds to that work that was completed

Absolutely!

LOL, yes, and we both agreed not to talk about it.

[/quote]Yeah.....we did.......

 

[Floatingaxe]

Masturbation does two things: release frustrations, keeps you honest, and keeps the prostate gland functioning and avoids prostate cancer.

masturbation keeps you sain, viral, stops prostate cancer.

That's just an excuse that the flesh uses. There is nothing healthy about it.

Since when does it have to do with keeping one sane? ROFL!

 

[Cassidy]

Does anybody know the scripture 'against' masturbation? I've always wondered about that.

 

[imperfectchristian]

Does anybody know the scripture 'against' masturbation? I've always wondered about that.

There isn't one. The place where fundies get the idea it is sin is the story of Onan who was sleeping with his dead brothers wife and pulling out before he came.

 

[nephilimiyr]

No, one is dead and the other is still alive. Let me give you a brief history of them. They both were preachers and had 3 different churches. One together, and two separate...and at times we would all come together for services. My foster dad sexually abused me the four years I was there. He took my virginity at the age of eleven and continued to abuse me for four years and have sex with me. He died about a year after he was convicted of the crime, and I believe that was the plan of God, because I was planning to kill him and anybody that got in my way..Seriously. God knew had he lived I would have destroyed my life and probably the lives of others by my anger and rage and most of all unforgiveness.

It took me YEARS to forgive both of them, but I knew the day the Lord had finally released me from carrying that baggage and wounds of what happened to me in that house.

The Lord sent me back to my hometown after years of living away from it, (This was just now three years ago ) I did not want to go, but I had too...I had to obey God. I realized when I got back that he was sending me back for a few reasons, and one was closure with my real dad, and even my foster mom. My aunt was going to visit a church and I felt lead to go there..I do not go to church unless the Lord leads me..and the Lord told me clearly, "She will there tonight"...and guess what, I am praising the Lord in song and my aunt says, "Guess who is sitting behind us" I look back and it is her. I felt a peace and that was confirmation I had forgiven her. The Lord said, "Before you leave give her a hug"...I did, she hugged me and said, "Oh, I wish you would come and see me"..I said, "You know what, I will make plans to while I am here"..etc....I did not go, but realized the Lord was testing me......I was also planning to kill her as well at one time...I got closure that night and walked out of that church knowing that that wound was healed.

I have had to forgive many men for sexual abuse I encountered as a child, he was just one of the 4 that had abused me...and I tell you it was because of GRACE and God not allowing me to stay that way. When I did not want to let it go, the Grace of God made it possible.



Absolutely!

Wow, I ask a simple question and I actually get a gem of a wonderful testimony!

I never knew the whole story from you, thanks for telling it. And very glad you got over your unforgiveness!

 

[drifter5]

Originally Posted by nephilimiyr - One can memorize the Bible from cover to cover and not learn much of anything that matters.
drifter5 - The Bible is God's very words to us , from His mouth. Every word is true and pure. God is the author of The Bible. God wants us to live by The Bible's teachings -to say thank you to God for saving us completely, by His grace ,through Jesus full atonement on The Cross for our Salvation. The Good News of Salvation through Jesus alone is found in The Bible. The Bible is the second greatest treasure that we have , after knowing God.

 

[nephilimiyr]

Originally Posted by nephilimiyr - One can memorize the Bible from cover to cover and not learn much of anything that matters.
drifter5 - The Bible is God's very words to us , from His mouth. Every word is true and pure. God is the author of The Bible. God wants us to live by The Bible's teachings -to say thank you to God for saving us completely, by His grace ,through Jesus full atonement on The Cross for our Salvation. The Good News of Salvation through Jesus alone is found in The Bible. The Bible is the second greatest treasure that we have , after knowing God.

So what are you trying to say to me? I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or not. I know that I basically agree with what you said.

 

[ANM29]

Wow, I ask a simple question and I actually get a gem of a wonderful testimony!

I never knew the whole story from you, thanks for telling it. And very glad you got over your unforgiveness!

lol! God works in mysterious ways, that is the last question I saw coming. Yes, it took a while, but by the GRACE of God...Who the Son sets free, is Free INDEED.

That was a small portion of my entire testimony. Boy, do God loves me...He does...

I will write out a short version of my entire testimony up until this season of my life one day...WHAT A JOURNEY, and oh what a wonderful loving Grace filled God we serve. He has to love me, he would not allow the enemy to kill me after I can't even count the times he has tried..it call made me stronger and wiser...But, he gets no Glory..He is defeated, All Glory to God...

 

[Cassidy]

There isn't one. The place where fundies get the idea it is sin is the story of Onan who was sleeping with his dead brothers wife and pulling out before he came.

Is that it??? So it's NOT wrong then? I always thought that there must be at least SOMETHING in the bible to suggest that masturabation is wrong. I thought that story about Onan was about contraception ie: wasting seed! Man! I'm glad I'm not a fundie, this is so confusing

 

[Floatingaxe]

The guilt associated with masturbation is telling the person it is not pleasing to God to circumvent the natural use of one's sexual expression.

 

[Cassidy]

The guilt associated with masturbation is telling the person it is not pleasing to God to circumvent the natural use of one's sexual expression.

Guilt is manmade
Conviction is Godmade

So no if he's feeling guilty it has nothing to do with God, however if he's feeling a spirit led conviction.....that's another story.

Where is the scriptural backup for this. It just sound's like another made up law by the catholics.

 

[nephilimiyr]

Is that it??? So it's NOT wrong then? I always thought that there must be at least SOMETHING in the bible to suggest that masturabation is wrong. I thought that story about Onan was about contraception ie: wasting seed! Man! I'm glad I'm not a fundie, this is so confusing

The difficult part is masterbating without sin entering into you heart. The majority of the time, especially when being a teenager or being single, sin it present. Of course it's still a personal thing and I leave it up to the individual.

 

[JimB]

Disclaimer: I want everyone here to know before they begin reading this thread that the purpose for me posting this thread is for thoughtful discussion and that I am not trying to argue or be disrepsectful to anyone by asking these questions.

7 Questions Concerning sex and sexuality:

1. Is it wrong for me to have a sexual desire for a woman besides my wife and if it is not wrong how many am I allowed to have before it becomes wrong?

2. (removed for controversial reasons)

3. Is it wrong if my wife is in the Army and I am not able to be sexually satisfied while she is deployed to touch to keep from having sex with someone else? (she could be gone for up to 2 years at a time)

4. Is it wrong for me to put myself in a position where I am tempted to think about sex with other women? (This could include, but not be limited to: watching TV or movies that have sexy women on them)

5. The marriage bed is undefiled in all ways...Does that mean that sexual fantasies acted out in the marriage bed are OK, what about fantasies about other people...is the rule...as long as both parties are OK with it then its OK?

6. If my wife will only have sex with me once a month and consequentially my sexual desires (that I cannot contain) are not satisified is it wrong for me to touch or would it be better to have a lover (that my wife approves of) or would it be better to get a divorce?

7. Which one is worse, masturbation or sex outside of marriage?


These are just a few questions concerning sexuality. I would like to hear your thoughts on each one of these and how you would counsel each situation. Please explain the reasoning behind your answers.

Thanks

Ahhh, there are some wonderful advantages to growing older.

~Jim

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts, but if he will content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties. ~Francis Bacon​

​

 

[Floatingaxe]

Ahhh, there are some wonderful advantages to growing older.

~Jim

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts, but if he will content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties. ~Francis Bacon​

Amen, and wisdom is merely one of them.

 

[imperfectchristian]

You can be sure, God will be desiring to correct a person so involved in masturbation. The more resistance one gives to the Holy Spirit, the more hardened one will get--to the point where one is deaf to His ministrations, and suffers a loss of intimacy with the Lord.

What if masturbation is part of foreplay with the wife?

If we are in bed together and she walks out of the room to run to the bathroom or blow her nose...does it become sin if I don't stop until she comes back into the room?

Is it time based...say...if she is gone for 60 seconds or more then I stop, otherwise I am in the green?

What if it is husband and wife over the phone? Would you tell a soldier in Iraq that he was sinning by having phone sex with his wife?

What if a person doesn't feel convicted by the Holy Spirit about it? Is it right to tell them they are sinning when the Lord has not convicted them of it and it is obvious that there is no teaching in the Bible concerning it?

 

[imperfectchristian]

This gives me an idea for a new thread....yippe!