Is it wrong...

[imperfectchristian]

No it's not wrong to have that sexual desire, it's a God given desire, it's totally natural to have that desire in you. What would make it wrong (using your definition of wrong) is if you do what James says in James 1:14-15.
James 1:14-15, but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Notice, James says the evil desire is in us but doesn't call it sin? You also notice that only after you have been dragged away and enticed is when that evil desire births sin?

It doesn't matter how many times you look Twiggy, what matters is whether the conception of temptation and your evil desire has entered your heart.




I say it's better to releave yourself while your spouse is gone, or even to the single person, then to burn in your lust and fall into sin, and perhaps become addicted to porn or something much worse.




I would say it certainly isn't wise to do so. You would be basically inviting temptation in.




Sorry but I stay out of other people's bedrooms, it's their own business.




See my answer to #3.




Trick question, I don't believe God categorizes sin and considers one sin worse than the other, neither do I. And I don't believe masturbation in all cases is a sin.

Thanks for your response Neph...if you would tell me...how would you counsel individuals dealing with these issues?

 

[ANM29]

I don't see why this thread would offend anybody, and especially not Christians. They have the same sexual issues as anyone else. They are having the same amount of sex as anyone else..

 

[Floatingaxe]

I don't see why this thread would offend anybody, and especially not Christians. They have the same sexual issues as anyone else. They are having the same amount of sex as anyone else..

Hopefully, the righteous kind.

 

[oneshot012]

But hypothetically...if you were counseling individuals with these issues, would these be your responses?

You have already brought up several things that could make good threads in their own right.

Yes that would be my responses are at least my responses would contain that information in them. In fact I have been asked a few of these questions before and I think it is important to deal with the theology behind the questions, ie the Augustinian concept of touching yourself as a sin. It is my core conviction that if I can change the way a person thinks about something I can change the way they act.

 

[imperfectchristian]

I would start by leading a person into the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and discuss the topic of being pure in our minds, and that we need to continually cultivate it in order that our fruit be evident--particularly the fruit of self-control.

That's it in a nutshell.

Could you expound on this a little...I realize you said that that is it in a nutshell, but how would you deal with individuals who are dealing with these issues.

For example: It is easy to say to the person who is going to be separated from their wife because of the military for 2 years to simply think pure thoughts, but if that is all that is offered, I am afraid the wash out ratio, frustration and failure will be very high and result in someone who walks away from the faith in utter despair.

I am speaking as someone who has been in a similar situation.

 

[ANM29]

Hopefully, the righteous kind.

All of it is not righteous, I assure you of that...Nevertheless, God.......

 

[imperfectchristian]

They are having the same amount of sex as anyone else..

Actually it is a statistical fact that married couples have more sex than single people and that Christians divorce at the same rate as secular society.

Interesting facts to ponder.

 

[imperfectchristian]

All of it is not righteous, I assure you of that...Nevertheless, God.......

Please refrain from potentially starting a debate on this subject. I want this to remain positive and uplifting for people who might come here and read who may be struggling with one or more of these issues..

 

[ANM29]

Actually it is a statistical fact that married couples have more sex than single people and that Christians divorce at the same rate as secular society.

Interesting facts to ponder.

Yes, we do divorce at the same rate as the world, I heard. What is up with that? I tell you my opinion....Pure and Simple "SELF"...Too much SELF in the way..and I am not even married. I have seen it more than enough in others.

Married have more sex than singles? I don't know about that one.......You sure?

 

[imperfectchristian]

It is my core conviction that if I can change the way a person thinks about something I can change the way they act.

I would agree with this in general, but I would very much like to hear you elaborate on this. Can you give some practical examples for instance?

 

[ANM29]

Please refrain from potentially starting a debate on this subject. I want this to remain positive and uplifting for people who might come here and read who may be struggling with one or more of these issues..

Yes Sir...

 

[Floatingaxe]

Could you expound on this a little...I realize you said that that is it in a nutshell, but how would you deal with individuals who are dealing with these issues.

For example: It is easy to say to the person who is going to be separated from their wife because of the military for 2 years to simply think pure thoughts, but if that is all that is offered, I am afraid the wash out ratio, frustration and failure will be very high and result in someone who walks away from the faith in utter despair.

I am speaking as someone who has been in a similar situation.

First of all, I would have the married couple rethink things. God comes first. Spouse second--in priority. The job that separates a family may not be worth it, especially in a Christian household.

If separation is something that God is requiring, then God will supply the strength to go without regular sexual release. God is mighty and we need to lean on Him for our escape from temptation--and that includes the temptation to touch.

 

[nephilimiyr]

Thanks for your response Neph...if you would tell me...how would you counsel individuals dealing with these issues?

You're welcome Twiggy

To not beat themselves up and condemn themselves for these things. And to certainly not let others do that to you either! The greatest harm that is done to people is when they have given up hope that they will not change, that it is impossible. So it is counter productive to tell people that their natural desires that God gave them is sin. You can't pray natural desires away, you can't anointed them with oil and dance around them and think the Holy Spirit is going to take what God gave them out of them.

My answer to every born again christian who is struggling with sin is to accept who God made them. To get rid of the old and take hold of the new. One of the main reasons why christians struggle with sin is because they're so sin conscious. They're so focused on their sin that they neglect who they have become in Christ. It's the ole "I'm just an sinner saved by grace", NO YOU ARE NOT! You are the righteousness of God in Christ! you keep thinking and believing you're a sinner then that is exactly what you will do.

There's lots of ways I could counsel them.

 

[imperfectchristian]

The bottom line point is how do we help positively encourage each other to become the Godly people that we all want to be?

 

[imperfectchristian]

Yes Sir...

At ease.

 

[Floatingaxe]

The bottom line point is how do we help positively encourage each other to become the Godly people that we all want to be?

Bottom line---

Matthew 6:33
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

 

[ANM29]

First of all, I would have the married couple rethink things. God comes first. Spouse second--in priority. The job that separates a family may not be worth it, especially in a Christian household.

If separation is something that God is requiring, then God will supply the strength to go without regular sexual release. God is mighty and we need to lean on Him for our escape from temptation--and that includes the temptation to touch.

That is very easy to say, but I have to say it not to be always easy to do. It is easy for a married person to say "do not do it."

You can say, "I will not do that again" and fall into into it again. I am speaking personally here. ( No shame in my game ) The thing I do not want to do, I do, yet it is not me, but SIN in me....Oh, who shall save me from myself and forgive me.......AH YES, he has..........JESUS.........

One thing I am grateful for is his Grace.........................Thank you Jesus!..

 

[ANM29]

You're welcome Twiggy

To not beat themselves up and condemn themselves for these things. And to certainly not let others do that to you either! The greatest harm that is done to people is when they have given up hope that they will not change, that it is impossible. So it is counter productive to tell people that their natural desires that God gave them is sin. You can't pray natural desires away, you can't anointed them with oil and dance around them and think the Holy Spirit is going to take what God gave them out of them.

My answer to every born again christian who is struggling with sin is to accept who God made them. To get rid of the old and take hold of the new. One of the main reasons why christians struggle with sin is because they're so sin conscious. They're so focused on their sin that they neglect who they have become in Christ. It's the ole "I'm just an sinner saved by grace", NO YOU ARE NOT! You are the righteousness of God in Christ! you keep thinking and believing you're a sinner then that is exactly what you will do.

There's lots of ways I could counsel them.

AMEN NEPH!...

 

[Floatingaxe]

That is very easy to say, but I have to say it not to be always easy to do. It is easy for a married person to say "do not do it."

You can say, "I will not do that again" and fall into into it again. I am speaking personally here. ( No shame in my game ) The thing I do not want to do, I do, yet it is not me, but SIN in me....Oh, who shall save me from myself and forgive me.......AH YES, he has..........JESUS.........

One thing I am grateful for is his Grace.........................Thank you Jesus!..

The forgiveness of God is not something to take for granted. He is blessed when we do the right thing and honour Him and our own bodies in the first place. His promise is to send us a distraction, a way of escape, which we must be on the lookout for, not miss it, and follow it.

 

[imperfectchristian]

First of all, I would have the married couple rethink things. God comes first. Spouse second--in priority. The job that separates a family may not be worth it, especially in a Christian household.

If separation is something that God is requiring, then God will supply the strength to go without regular sexual release. God is mighty and we need to lean on Him for our escape from temptation--and that includes the temptation to touch.

I gave an example of a couple in the military so it would not really be an option for them to quit.

My question in this position would be though, how could I lean on God for something that part of me desires virtually all of the time and all of me desires when things get really bad and that I have no willingness to let go of?

Something to consider...on average the endorphins released during sex are 7 times stronger than heroin.

All that aside...we are dealing with someone who is failing, not potentially. To lay it on thick like that I would think would drive the nail in the coffin and turn discouragment into despair and possibly hoplessness.