Is it wrong to continue dating someone once you know you are not going to marry them?

[Rationalt]

Scripturally, adultery always involves a married woman. That fact just does not come across well in english.

And if there is "sexual contact or intent," I would say that is more than just dating.

Let us see what Jesus has to say about it.
Matthew chapter 5:
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.29 If your right eye causes you to stumble," gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

 

[Rationalt]

Instead of insulting people, why don't you just give your response to the OP?

Is that addressed to me ?.

 

[Rationalt]

Does this person know you don't want to marry her?

That is a good question.

 

[Dave-W]

Let us see what Jesus has to say about it.
Matthew chapter 5:
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.29 If your right eye causes you to stumble," gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

And the greek word for woman is a MARRIED woman. The word for a single woman is usually translated virgin, maid, etc.

 

[Rationalt]

And the greek word for woman is a MARRIED woman. The word for a single woman is usually translated virgin, maid, etc.

Lol. That interpretation is wrong on many levels. That it is ok to look at unmarried women lustfully kind of defeats the message.

Anyhow the greek word γυναῖκα means woman.It doesn't specify the marital status of a woman.For example luke 13:11 uses the word γυναῖκα for describing a woman who was a cripple.

 

[BDaroowala]

Do you have anything to say to anyone who responded to you? Does this person know you don't want to marry her?

No, this actually doesn't involve me right now. It involves a friend of mine who knows that they cannot see themselves marrying their boyfriend, but she still has feelings for him. It's a weird situation I know. So I told her that there's no point in continuing the relationship once you know that it's not going to lead anywhere in the long run. When I said this, her friend completely disagreed with my by saying that you can still spend time with this person and have fun with them ("have fun" is not used sexually here--they are not doing anything sexual). I completely disagreed with them saying that it is a waste of both people's time.

 

[Dave-W]

That it is ok to look at unmarried women lustfully kind of defeats the message.

Anyhow the greek word γυναῖκα means woman.It doesn't specify the marital status of a woman.For example luke 13:11 uses the word γυναῖκα for describing a woman who was a cripple.

In both Hebrew and Greek (and remember the Lord was speaking in Aramaic - a dialect of Hebrew) "Woman" almost ALWAYS indicated a married woman.

Cultural understanding. Girls over the age of about 12 or 13 were married with rare exceptions. And Our Lord was talking to plain farmer folk. Those men would be VERY unlikely to see any single young women, and pedophilia was unknown.

Besides, He was not making a doctrinal dissertation; He was giving practical advice in how to obey the Law of Moses.

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

No, this actually doesn't involve me right now. It involves a friend of mine who knows that they cannot see themselves marrying their boyfriend, but she still has feelings for him. It's a weird situation I know. So I told her that there's no point in continuing the relationship once you know that it's not going to lead anywhere in the long run. When I said this, her friend completely disagreed with my by saying that you can still spend time with this person and have fun with them ("have fun" is not used sexually here--they are not doing anything sexual). I completely disagreed with them saying that it is a waste of both people's time.

It is not a waste of time if somebody wants/needs it and neither person in the relationship has a problem with it.

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

Does this mean that a person who is not sure if he/she wants marriage has no business dating anybody?

 

[Hetta]

Does this mean that a person who is not sure if he/she wants marriage has no business dating anybody?

So long as they make it clear from the beginning that no serious relationship will be forthcoming, I don't see anything wrong with it. Some people just want a +1 for events and someone to have fun with (not even talking sex right now). So, as long as they are honest, that's fine. It's when one person goes into a relationship with no intention of committing and the other wants to commit, that is when a problem arises, and it's dishonest imo when one is not being honest with the other.

 

[Hetta]

No, this actually doesn't involve me right now. It involves a friend of mine who knows that they cannot see themselves marrying their boyfriend, but she still has feelings for him. It's a weird situation I know. So I told her that there's no point in continuing the relationship once you know that it's not going to lead anywhere in the long run. When I said this, her friend completely disagreed with my by saying that you can still spend time with this person and have fun with them ("have fun" is not used sexually here--they are not doing anything sexual). I completely disagreed with them saying that it is a waste of both people's time.

Again, so long as she is honest about her intentions, there's nothing wrong if both are just having fun and that's all there is to it.

 

[Rationalt]

In both Hebrew and Greek (and remember the Lord was speaking in Aramaic - a dialect of Hebrew) "Woman" almost ALWAYS indicated a married woman.

Nope. Not always. I gave one example luke 13:11.

There are plenty of examples in OT.

Cultural understanding. Girls over the age of about 12 or 13 were married with rare exceptions. And Our Lord was talking to plain farmer folk. Those men would be VERY unlikely to see any single young women, and pedophilia was unknown.

Now, we are getting somewhere. A woman is not a girl.In that way γυναῖκα describes a woman And not a girl. A woman who is mature, virgin or not unmarried or not.

Besides, He was not making a doctrinal dissertation; He was giving practical advice in how to obey the Law of Moses.

The doctrine is about succumbing to lust.having lustful thoughts on anybody other than your spouse. Not a legal loophole.

I am just making an observation/ argument based on biblical text.Nothing more.

 

[Dave-W]

12 or 13 was considered an adult - a man and a woman - in first century Judean culture.

 

[Rationalt]

12 or 13 was considered an adult - a man and a woman - in first century Judean culture.

Correct. Marital status or sexual state are not implied.

 

[Archivist]

The Free Dictionary provides the following definition for date: "An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest."

The use of the word often in the definition clearly means that romantic interest is not required to date. To me, as long as it is made clear that marriage is not the ultimnate goal of the relationship then there is no problem.

 

[Hetta]

There was a big argument on the married couples forum months ago, because some of us held that both people in the dating relationship should be honest, and that if one had an expectation of marriage and the other did not, the one with the expectation of marriage should quit and find someone who was interested in marriage. Some people didn't like that. They felt it was "blackmail". I fail to see it. Everyone has the choice of how they wish to pursue a romantic entanglement. No-one is beholden to stay with a person whose ultimate perspective does not match their own!

 

[Rationalt]

The thread is about biblical evidence for having sexual relationships.

That a date is socially meant to explore the possibility of sexual relations is a given.

 

[Hetta]

The thread is about biblical evidence for having sexual relationships.

That a date is socially meant to explore the possibility of sexual relations is a given.

Okay, this is not your thread, and this is the OP:

Can anyone provide biblical evidence to support a certain side to this. I believe that it IS wrong to continue dating someone once you are sure they are not the person God has intended you to be with. I find strong evidence in the passage of 1 Corinthians 7 where it explains that God uses singleness as a time for you to grow closer to him. I am curious to see what you guys think about it. Remember, we're assuming you are 100% this person is not the one for you.

So if you want a thread about "biblical evidence for having sexual relationships", you need to start one.

 

[Archivist]

The thread is about biblical evidence for having sexual relationships.
That a date is socially meant to explore the possibility of sexual relations is a given.

The OP initially stated "I believe that it IS wrong to continue dating someone once you are sure they are not the person God has intended you to be with. I find strong evidence in the passage of 1 Corinthians 7where it explains that God uses singleness as a time for you to grow closer to him. I am curious to see what you guys think about it. Remember, we're assuming you are 100% this person is not the one for you."

Nothing sexual there.

In a later post the OP wrote " It involves a friend of mine who knows that they cannot see themselves marrying their boyfriend, but she still has feelings for him. It's a weird situation I know. So I told her that there's no point in continuing the relationship once you know that it's not going to lead anywhere in the long run. When I said this, her friend completely disagreed with my by saying that you can still spend time with this person and have fun with them ("have fun" is not used sexually here--they are not doing anything sexual). I completely disagreed with them saying that it is a waste of both people's time."

That specifically states that we are not discussing a sexual relationship.

Perhaps you should take the time to read the thread.

 

[Rationalt]

Okay, this is not your thread, and this is the OP:



So if you want a thread about "biblical evidence for having sexual relationships", you need to start one.

I am confused. In what world being with someone and dating with someone excludes sexual relationship ?.

"I believe that it IS wrong to continue dating someone once you are sure they are not the person God has intended you to be with "