Is it selfish

[Redguard]

Okay fine (stinker), let me rephrase that.

 

[tiredwalker]

 

[MommaBuckaroo]

I actually believe God did this. The Bible is clear on the female role and the male role. The Bible says that if a man does not take care of those in HIS home that he is no better then an infidel. The Bible has many examples on being a Godly wife and I believe the woman should be the keeper of the home. With that said, my husband spends a great deal of time with the kids when he is home and he will change diapers and everything else that comes with parenting and he will help me if I ask him to. He does all the outside work etc on the house and the big manly projects. I do all the cooking, cleaning and everything else.

 

[Laurie919]

I actually believe God did this. The Bible is clear on the female role and the male role. The Bible says that if a man does not take care of those in HIS home that he is no better then an infidel. The Bible has many examples on being a Godly wife and I believe the woman should be the keeper of the home. With that said, my husband spends a great deal of time with the kids when he is home and he will change diapers and everything else that comes with parenting and he will help me if I ask him to. He does all the outside work etc on the house and the big manly projects. I do all the cooking, cleaning and everything else.

It is really sad that more men aren't taking their Godly place in the home.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to pmcleanj again.

Great post!

And Nikki, I hear you on the 'wasting' you're intelligence part. I did really well at school, then dropped out of uni to be a mum - to many shaking heads. Now though, those same heads say we've been wise to do all we have and have me stay home with the children! Can't win!

I forget who posted it sorry: ) but someone posted about their husbands saying they would rather work another job than have their wife get a job - my DH is the same. He feels pride and meaning to be able to provide for us so I can stay home, and he feels relaxed and reassured when I do.

 

[Laurie919]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to pmcleanj again.

Great post!

And Nikki, I hear you on the 'wasting' you're intelligence part. I did really well at school, then dropped out of uni to be a mum - to many shaking heads. Now though, those same heads say we've been wise to do all we have and have me stay home with the children! Can't win!

I forget who posted it sorry: ) but someone posted about their husbands saying they would rather work another job than have their wife get a job - my DH is the same. He feels pride and meaning to be able to provide for us so I can stay home, and he feels relaxed and reassured when I do.

I am not trying to be offensive so please don't take this that way.

Think about all the people who can't go to school for financial reasons and then people get degrees and stay home. It is kinda crazy.

 

[Manna]

I am not trying to be offensive so please don't take this that way.

Think about all the people who can't go to school for financial reasons and then people get degrees and stay home. It is kinda crazy.

Not quite sure I see the point in this. I am a college graduate and I am not actively using my degree in the workplace. How does that hurt someone who is unable to go to college for financial reasons? It's not like if I didn't go to college it would have given someone else the opportunity...?

 

[tiredwalker]

I'm going to stay home, but it's only temporary. So, getting a degree was not a waste of my time; I'll use it again.

 

[Laurie919]

I'm going to stay home, but it's only temporary. So, getting a degree was not a waste of my time; I'll use it again.

I wasn't talking about you because I knew you are planning on going back to work. I was refering to people who don't.

I am really not saying it is a waste. It is just sort of sad that people who would love to have it can't get it then some people get it and never use it. KWIM?

 

[pmcleanj]

The purpose of education is NOT to get a job.* The purpose of education is to increase your understanding to the enrichment of your life so that -- as with all gifts -- you can better serve your God and your fellow-men.

When a child-nurturer disciplines her children in a more enlightened manner because her readings of Thomas Hardy have given her a more compassionate understanding of human limitations, or plays binary-counting games with children to amuse them in the car and lay a foundation for higher mathematics, or turns a trip to "The Lion King" into a launching pad for a discussion of biodiversity as its dependence on endothermic chemical reactions in plant cells -- she IS using her education.

And the children who get that solid grounding in biochemistry might end up curing cancer or the common cold -- so the greater society DOES benefit from whatever we invested in her education. I personally do use my education in salaried work -- but that's my choice (with which I am very happy) and my calling.

For those who cannot go to University and get a degree, we can still get an education by diligent self-study. A good start might be Susan Bauer's book, "The Well-Educated Mind", which is a guide to self-education for just such motivated people.


*except of course, to the degree that vocational training is included in the broad definition of "education"

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

^I agree, great answer.

Your point, laurie, isn't really valid over here, since we have funded university places - it's not like the american system.
That said, I feel personally, that I am doing more with my education (not just my time at university) now staying home with my children, than I ever did when I worked full time...

 

[Leanna]

The purpose of education is NOT to get a job.* The purpose of education is to increase your understanding to the enrichment of your life so that -- as with all gifts -- you can better serve your God and your fellow-men.

When a child-nurturer disciplines her children in a more enlightened manner because her readings of Thomas Hardy have given her a more compassionate understanding of human limitations, or plays binary-counting games with children to amuse them in the car and lay a foundation for higher mathematics, or turns a trip to "The Lion King" into a launching pad for a discussion of biodiversity as its dependence on endothermic chemical reactions in plant cells -- she IS using her education.

And the children who get that solid grounding in biochemistry might end up curing cancer or the common cold -- so the greater society DOES benefit from whatever we invested in her education. I personally do use my education in salaried work -- but that's my choice (with which I am very happy) and my calling.

For those who cannot go to University and get a degree, we can still get an education by diligent self-study. A good start might be Susan Bauer's book, "The Well-Educated Mind", which is a guide to self-education for just such motivated people.


*except of course, to the degree that vocational training is included in the broad definition of "education"

 

[Laurie919]

^I agree, great answer.

Your point, laurie, isn't really valid over here, since we have funded university places - it's not like the american system.
That said, I feel personally, that I am doing more with my education (not just my time at university) now staying home with my children, than I ever did when I worked full time...

I don't mean it bad at all. I just mean that it is sad to me that so many people can never further their education because of finances, wouldn't it be nice if that person could have that opportunity.

 

[FaithLoveHope9]

Well this is still up in the air, but ideally, I will be the one staying home with our child when he/she comes. HOWEVER, unless God provides some sort of financial miracle of humungous proportions it won't be happening.

I would stay home for several reasons: 1- DH makes double what I make, 2- I have the breasts therefore I shall be feeding the little one 3- it's not his "thing".

DH is 100% absolutely fine with me staying home instead of him, and he is working very hard in order for that to happen (working 2 jobs) however it just seems very unlikely right now. So 3 months after the baby is born I'll be going back to work and the bub will be in daycare.

Not my ideal, but until we can get this house sold (the market has to change first) we have no other option.

We are in this same boat. DH does make about double than I make. But we have a lot of student loan debt, as well as a huge house payment, and a new car. Granted, I chose to go to college, hence the debt. So I feel like I should be working to help pay it off. Plus, I do love being a teacher...
So the plan is now, when I get pregnant, and the due date is determined, I will be taking 6-12 weeks off, and of course be home the summers. Our children will have to go to daycare. I would love to be a SAHM, and my husband would like if I was as well. But until our debt is paid off, that won't be happening.

 

[Laurie919]

We are in this same boat. DH does make about double than I make. But we have a lot of student loan debt, as well as a huge house payment, and a new car. Granted, I chose to go to college, hence the debt. So I feel like I should be working to help pay it off. Plus, I do love being a teacher...
So the plan is now, when I get pregnant, and the due date is determined, I will be taking 6-12 weeks off, and of course be home the summers. Our children will have to go to daycare. I would love to be a SAHM, and my husband would like if I was as well. But until our debt is paid off, that won't be happening.

I would like to suggest for those who have to work and really don't want to do daycare. I found that you can find an older lady trying to supplement her income for about $100 a week. That way they aren't exposed to the illnesses that they have a full daycare.

Just a thought.

 

[KellyLeigh]

I am not trying to be offensive so please don't take this that way.

Think about all the people who can't go to school for financial reasons and then people get degrees and stay home. It is kinda crazy.

I know I don't have kids yet, but someday I will...

I do have a BS degree, two actually because I double majored. Eventually I will more than likely be going back to school to get a Master's degree. I plan on only working until I have children (whenever that may be), when I will then become a SAHM. I haven't, and will never, waste my degree. I will be homeschooling my children which is why I need to be well informed on everything I possibly can. I will be teaching them reading, math, chemistry, biology, physics, history, geography, geology, a second language... anything and everything they have an interest in. I will know what and how to prepare my children for college, both academically and socially, because I have been there myself. If, and I pray every day this never happens, but if something were to happen to my husband on his way home from work one day I know that I have my degree to fall back on. I will be able to find a solid job to support my family with during hard times, and that alone makes my degrees worth it to me. I will not be wasting my degree on diapers despite being a SAHM.

And as for how my husband and I decided who will be staying at home, it was mutual. He loves his job, he wants to work, he wouldn't like to be a SAHD, and he already makes more than 3 times as much as I would make at his young age of 24. I will be staying at home because I love children, have always wanted to stay home with them, and because I have more patience when it comes to children and educating them at home. We will both be putting our college degrees to use, though it may be in different ways.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

The purpose of education is NOT to get a job.* The purpose of education is to increase your understanding to the enrichment of your life so that -- as with all gifts -- you can better serve your God and your fellow-men.

AMEN! Wish I understood that when I was going to school. I for sure am using my degree, well actually the many skills I learned while moving toward my degree. I know for a fact that had I not attended college I would not have the world view I have today. And that is one that I certainly want my children to carry forward so I am home working with them to instil those views and values in them for the future.

 

[Neenie1]

This is 2008 I don't see why the man couldn't stay home for a season then the women take a turn.

I don't see anything wrong with a woman staying home if that is what her family has decided. If you can afford to do so that is wonderful. I personally couldn't do it because I would hate to ask a man for money even if it were family money. I would never feel like I could do anything for Taylor. `

I don't see why it's wrong to ask my husband for money, I work hard for the family, I clean house, I make sure we all have good healthy nutritious food to eat, and make sure the children are reasonably happy and do well in their schooling. Just because dh gets paid for what he does at work, doesn't mean I can't share in that. I work too, just not for money.

(I don't often anyway - I have a few little jobs that bring in my extra spending money, which shame to say, often gets spent on the kids anyway - what difference does it make)

 

[Neenie1]

Just because someone has a university degree doesn't mean they shouldn't stay at home with their children while they are younger. These days there are many work at home jobs, and opportunities to go back to work when the children have gone back to school. They don't stay babies forever.

 

[FaithLoveHope9]

Just because someone has a university degree doesn't mean they shouldn't stay at home with their children while they are younger. These days there are many work at home jobs, and opportunities to go back to work when the children have gone back to school. They don't stay babies forever.

I agree. If we can get rid of our debt, I would be staying at home. I hope to maybe by our second child!