Is it okay from a biblical standpoint

[razzelflabben]

I feel the need to speak of the latest pains but find there are no words to speak, only tears. Sometimes I wonder if there is still hope for the evil ones in our world. And as I wonder, I am reminded that "vengence is God's". But vengence is not something I am comfortable with, much less desire...I feel as Christ, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." In fact, I think the very thought of what they will someday face, is the only reason I still care at this point. I do not wish bad upon them, and if they could see the Christ, and come to Him, I would endure it all over again and then some. The real pain in my being right now, is that the hope is quickly vanishing.

All that I endured at their hands, and they still don't see it, still don't get it. Christ is the answer. How is it possible after all this, that they still don't understand that it is the life lived for Christ not self that holds real value? It is the treasures in heaven that await us, all all this world holds for us is gone, vanished away, eaten up by the corruptable. How can they still not see, that Jesus the Christ is our very purpose for living?

 

[razzelflabben]

If anyone is still reading this, please say a word of prayer for me...I am suppose to spend the afternoon with my parents and aunt, the first time since our last argument, and honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready....I need to be able to show the Love of Christ, not my own anger, frustrations, and selfishness.

 

[razzelflabben]

Thanks to anyone who might have prayed, things went fairly well, and we may have found a way to soften my fathers hateful, bitterness....God's will, God's future to direct.

 

[razzelflabben]

Sometimes I just long to connect with someone who is not about trying to make me feel like I am worthless. Today is one of those days. I am stuck in a house I can't stand, a town I can't tolerate, I need to breath, but where we are right now causes health issues. The kids are getting on my nerves with their usual chatter, something that I usually enjoy. The pup was defiant today, and I haven't been feeling the best. Thanksgiving week was very stressful, and to top off the day, my weight loss has stopped. I just want a connection on some level with someone who finds me of value. (husband is at work). Anyway, this is just a complaining post, I thought that if I said it, somehow, it would ease the struggle and I would find relief. I am planning on spending the afternoon studying the word, still working on love, that will be good for me. So no worries, I would call someone but I would be afraid of interupting them if they haven't called or emailed today, which would make things worse. I guess it's a battle for worth today. A battle I fight often but some days prove harder to fight than others.

May you each know the joy of your salvation as you work it out this day. May you each know the love value you were created to have.