Is it a sin to admire and longingly look at and check out (for a man) a woman's beauty if...

[CCHIPSS]

I have a hard time understanding ladies who put these super revealing clothes on, and yet do not want guys to look at them at all. That is especially true in the winter. Girls would wear these mini skirts in a cold winter day. And when guys look at them they glare back disapprovingly.

Now yes these guys were being creepy. But I have a hard time believing that these girls didn't want any attention

These happens in churches too and it is the worst. I would sit down for a sermon. And then some lady would walk right in front of me in the next row with her mini skirt. I would look at it for a second before looking away. But she would already saw me looking at her skirt, and during the whole sermon she will keep looking back at me to make sure I wasn't checking her out like a creep does. And I had to sit perfectly still and look at only the pastor, pretending I do not see her looking back at me from the corner of my eyes. It is so frustrating and really disturbs me from paying attention to that sermon. And she already judged me guilty for being a creep and I can't even defend myself. Of course right after the service she would get out of there before I can talk to her. Well actually I won't want to talk to her anyways since that would make me look even more creepy.

Argh!!!!

Ladies seriously you have to give a guy a break for looking at your skirt for 1-2 seconds. We can't help it. If after he look away and never look at you again, he is not a creep. If after he look only at your face and smile when he chat with you, he is not a creep.

In fact you should respect the guy if he made a huge effort to not look at your skirt again and pretend your are wearing pants. For me, talking to a girl in mini skirt makes my uncomfortable. I have to make a conscious effort to not look down and only look at her face. That explains if I talk funny or have a weird facial expression.

Now it is much easier if it is a lady I know. But the above is true for a lady that I do not know.

 

[TheRealAriel]

I have a hard time understanding ladies who put these super revealing clothes on, and yet do not want guys to look at them at all. That is especially true in the winter. Girls would wear these mini skirts in a cold winter day. And when guys look at them they glare back disapprovingly.

Now yes these guys were being creepy. But I have a hard time believing that these girls didn't want any attention

These happens in churches too and it is the worst. I would sit down for a sermon. And then some lady would walk right in front of me in the next row with her mini skirt. I would look at it for a second before looking away. But she would already saw me looking at her skirt, and during the whole sermon she will keep looking back at me to make sure I wasn't checking her out like a creep does. And I had to sit perfectly still and look at only the pastor, pretending I do not see her looking back at me from the corner of my eyes. It is so frustrating and really disturbs me from paying attention to that sermon. And she already judged me guilty for being a creep and I can't even defend myself. Of course right after the service she would get out of there before I can talk to her. Well actually I won't want to talk to her anyways since that would make me look even more creepy.

Argh!!!!

1) is it not possible that she liked the way the skirt looked and that's why she wears it and not because she wants to give you a coniption?
2) are you not also judging her by assigning her motives for her every move between what she put on her body and every move she made thereafter?

See... i think this is the true problem. The average guy thinks that the things we do must be about him. We're saucy temptresses trying to avert his eye and pollute his thoughts. Guaranteed if a guy walked in in short shorts no girl would go "oh my, he's trying to lure me with his magnificent man thighs." Get over it.

 

[CCHIPSS]

1) is it not possible that she liked the way the skirt looked and that's why she wears it and not because she wants to give you a coniption?
2) are you not also judging her by assigning her motives for her every move between what she put on her body and every move she made thereafter?

See... i think this is the true problem. The average guy thinks that the things we do must be about him. We're saucy temptresses trying to avert his eye and pollute his thoughts. Guaranteed if a guy walked in in short shorts no girl would go "oh my, he's trying to lure me with his magnificent man thighs." Get over it.

Like I said they are very cold winter days. Who was she trying to impress? Herself? I doubt it.

And then in church, why does these ladies keep looking back at me to make sure I wasn't checking them out like a creep? It is the ladies who assumes every man is a creep.

Geez lady you walked right in front of me with your mini skirt. I was already sitting down and you were walking past in the next row. Your skirt was right at my eye level. How is that my fault that I looked at your skirt for 1-2 seconds?

Anyways I learned after a while. I have to look left and right at the next row and see if a lady in mini skirt is entering into it. Once I saw a lady coming, I have to make sure I do not look at her skirt when she walks by. Let's say she is entering from the left. Upon seeing her, I would just look away to the right. And right after she walks by me with her skirt, I look away to the left. And so I do not see her at all.

Now I am not against women wearing mini skirts. I am saying when a women decides to wear mini skirts, they have to expect men to look at them for 1-2 seconds. Or men to just totally look away and pretend that girl doesn't exist. That is what gentlemen would have done.

If a men stare at the lady or keep looking back at her, yes he is a creep. But ladies shouldn't assume every men out there are creeps. If a man only looked for 1-2 seconds or if a man totally look away, they are not creeps. They are gentlemen respecting that lady in mini skirt as well as they can.

 

[Goodbook]

I thought over this a bit more and think the OP just doesn't want to admit his 'longing' is really just lust.

Lust is coveting what isn't yours.
For example, I love plants right and admire them, I think they are wonderful Gods creations. Flowers are attractive and the smell lovely. But lusting would be...I want to rip that plant/flower out and take it home. Well you can't just do that, esp with women.

If you do especially like a flower, you need to pay attention to what that flower needs to survive cos some don't transplant well.

 

[MehGuy]

I've never had much of a problem with this. I don't openly gawk, but if a woman catches me glancing she is either flattered or doesn't appear to care at all.

I really do not think its that hard not to be a jerk about it. If a woman is looking to be a victim yeah, its more on her than you.

 

[SnowyMacie]

Like I said they are very cold winter days. Who was she trying to impress? Herself? I doubt it.

And then in church, why does these ladies keep looking back at me to make sure I wasn't checking them out like a creep? It is the ladies who assumes every man is a creep.

Geez lady you walked right in front of me with your mini skirt. I was already sitting down and you were walking past in the next row. Your skirt was right at my eye level. How is that my fault that I looked at your skirt for 1-2 seconds?

Anyways I learned after a while. I have to look left and right at the next row and see if a lady in mini skirt is entering into it. Once I saw a lady coming, I have to make sure I do not look at her skirt when she walks by. Let's say she is entering from the left. Upon seeing her, I would just look away to the right. And right after she walks by me with her skirt, I look away to the left. And so I do not see her at all.

When you put on your favorite suit to go to some formal event, which I've been told is the sexiest thing guys wear, do you put on the suit to impress women or because you know you look darn good in that suit and the circumstances call for a suit? I know that for me, it's the latter, and I completely agree with Ariel that the reason girls wear skirts and bikinis is for themselves and not for guys, nor is it an invitation to stare, or even really look at them.

 

[Aldebaran]

I myself have always wondered about this "lust" thing. The bible tells us stories about how people fell in love, and it seems obvious that physical attraction was a big part of it. An example is Jacob and Rachel. Here's a small part of what can be found at a certain website that comments on it. More can be found there:

Love at First Sight
Jacob was sent by his father Isaac to find a wife from a relative‘s family. He met Rachel at the well and for him, it was love at first sight. He went to the well and when he single-handily moved the great stone cover off of the well, perhaps trying to impress Rachel. You can tell that Jacob didn’t take long before he knew that he loved Rachel as recorded in Genesis 29:10-11: “When Jacob saw Rachel, daughter of his uncle Laban, and Laban’s sheep, he went over and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered his uncle’s sheep. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud.” Interestingly, it wasn’t Rachel that cried but Jacob. He seemed to know with certainty that Rachel would be his bride. Rachel ran to her father and told him about the young traveler. Rachel’s father, Laban, ran out to meet Jacob and invited him to stay with him.

For more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/jacob-and-rachel-a-bible-love-story/

 

[MotherFirefly]

If my cousin came up to me, kissed me, then started randomly bawling, and then after running to tell my father, he invited him over for dinner - I would really start questioning my life.

How customs have changed.

 

[SnowyMacie]

If my cuousin came up to me, kissed me, then started randomly bawling, and then after running to tell my father, he invited him over for dinner - I would really start questioning my life.

How customs have changed.

Must...resist...Alabama...joke...

 

[CodyFaith]

I myself have always wondered about this "lust" thing. The bible tells us stories about how people fell in love, and it seems obvious that physical attraction was a big part of it. An example is Jacob and Rachel. Here's a small part of what can be found at a certain website that comments on it. More can be found there:

Love at First Sight
Jacob was sent by his father Isaac to find a wife from a relative‘s family. He met Rachel at the well and for him, it was love at first sight. He went to the well and when he single-handily moved the great stone cover off of the well, perhaps trying to impress Rachel. You can tell that Jacob didn’t take long before he knew that he loved Rachel as recorded in Genesis 29:10-11: “When Jacob saw Rachel, daughter of his uncle Laban, and Laban’s sheep, he went over and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered his uncle’s sheep. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud.” Interestingly, it wasn’t Rachel that cried but Jacob. He seemed to know with certainty that Rachel would be his bride. Rachel ran to her father and told him about the young traveler. Rachel’s father, Laban, ran out to meet Jacob and invited him to stay with him.

For more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/jacob-and-rachel-a-bible-love-story/

It also mentions that "but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful." Genesis 29:17.

I believe there's a difference between lust and what's mentioned above, and what's seemingly being discussed in this thread.

I would like to note though too that it's important for believers to recognize female believers as sisters in Christ, so focusing too much on their physical beauty is wrong because it takes away from a friendship and a bond that goes way beyond anything physical attraction can offer.
For that reason alone, it's good to mind your gaze.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Oh how I love yeah if women didn't wear XYZ....

Actually if it was the case the clothing was short, sexy or showing off part of the body, only brought about the on coming of stares and creepiness, then it would be amused that it was the clothing fault and that men couldn't help themselves. Sadly this isn't true because women still get stares, felt up, creeps, chatted up, even when fully covered up. Yeah that issue is out of the window. Men aren't animals, they have brains and feeling and shockingly can turn off these feeling.. Because do you check out a female relative like your sister, or mom if she wear a bikini... and you know it's more than 2 seconds... ooohhhh how we know its you thinking you have the right over my body, to the right to stare at me.

Also to note to men, I am not yours to be touched, followed, make unwanted comments towards me. I do not wish for you to stare at me (Actually this happened a few weeks ago the man stopped and stared and then followed me - his head and eyes, as I walked away down the street) and i was WEARING JEANS and a T-SHIRT, you don't have the right to feel the right to chat me up, you do not have the right to feel that I should dress, drink or act anyway that you think a woman should act.

 

[Aldebaran]

Oh how I love yeah if women didn't wear XYZ....

Actually if it was the case the clothing was short, sexy or showing off part of the body, only brought about the on coming of stares and creepiness, then it would be amused that it was the clothing fault and that men couldn't help themselves. Sadly this isn't true because women still get stares, felt up, creeps, chatted up, even when fully covered up. Yeah that issue is out of the window. Men aren't animals, they have brains and feeling and shockingly can turn off these feeling.. Because do you check out a female relative like your sister, or mom if she wear a bikini... and you know it's more than 2 seconds... ooohhhh how we know its you thinking you have the right over my body, to the right to stare at me.

Also to note to men, I am not yours to be touched, followed, make unwanted comments towards me. I do not wish for you to stare at me (Actually this happened a few weeks ago the man stopped and stared and then followed me - his head and eyes, as I walked away down the street), you don't have the right to feel the right to chat me up, you do not have the right to feel that I should dress, drink or act anyway that you think a woman should act.

What do we have the right to think and feel then? People are going to think and feel things. The problems start when those thoughts and feelings turn into actions.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

What do we have the right to think and feel then? People are going to think and feel things. The problems start when those thoughts and feelings turn into actions.[/QUOTE

No the problem starts, when YOU think and feel you have the RIGHT over women. Or how your view point of women are.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Do you know what, am really sick of this.

If women cover themselves up, then it's because of men.
If women uncover themselves, they are doing it to tempt men.

We can't win. We have parts of the world banning some sort of women clothing....

 

[Aldebaran]

Do you know what, am really sick of this.

If women cover themselves up, then it's because of men.
If women uncover themselves, they are doing it to tempt men.

We can't win. We have parts of the world banning some sort of women clothing....

I'm sorry to hear that you have that sort of thing going on in the UK. I live in the U.S. and haven't heard of it happening here. Personally, I don't blame women for covering or uncovering some parts of their body. Around here, people in general cover or uncover based on the weather.

 

[TheRealAriel]

Do you know what, am really sick of this.

If women cover themselves up, then it's because of men.
If women uncover themselves, they are doing it to tempt men.

We can't win. We have parts of the world banning some sort of women clothing....

Honestly that's a big part of why I do dress a little more skimpily than most, I think we really should be past the female body being taboo. If everyone just wore whatever they wanted like a guy does just because they want to, overtime it's desexualized.

 

[SnowyMacie]

Honestly that's a big part of why I do dress a little more skimpily than most, I think we really should be past the female body being taboo. If everyone just wore whatever they wanted like a guy does just because they want to, overtime it's desexualized.

Right. It's never made sense to me why women can't walk around topless, but men can? Women think a man's chest and stomach is just as attractive as men think about women's.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

I'm sorry to hear that you have that sort of thing going on in the UK. I live in the U.S. and haven't heard of it happening here. Personally, I don't blame women for covering or uncovering some parts of their body. Around here, people in general cover or uncover based on the weather.

This isn't a UK problem. This is a world problem.

Muslim woman if they wear the Hijab et al, actually do in USA, France, UK, commended for it.

The other girls who have commented on this post are also from the USA and have also pointed out that, they feel also body shamed, or clothing shamed because if you wear this X clothes then you are Y, or if something happens too you because of wearing Z clothing then it is your fault.

Clearly, you are part of the problem as well, if you can't understand or hear what women are saying.

 

[Toro]

Honestly that's a big part of why I do dress a little more skimpily than most, I think we really should be past the female body being taboo. If everyone just wore whatever they wanted like a guy does just because they want to, overtime it's desexualized.

What and then I have to accept personal responsibility for my thoughts and actions?

NEVER! Blaming women is easier.

 

[TheRealAriel]

What and then I have to accept personal responsibility for my thoughts and actions?

NEVER! Blaming women is easier.

You are easily one of my favorite people