Is it a bad idea to marry a woman who is not a virgin?

[NvxiaLee]

I wouldn't want to share my wife with another man. But, I guess if you haven't kept yourself pure, you don't have much right to expect a one-man woman.

 

[Gabe7]

I wouldn't want to share my wife with another man. But, I guess if you haven't kept yourself pure, you don't have much right to expect a one-man woman.

I don't think it works like that. I think worldly guys sometimes choose to marry virgins for that very reason. At least several I know have. Its the virgin guys who tend to fall in love with the first girl who gives them sex.

 

[citizenthom]

Hosea and Gomer (the prophet and the prostitute)

I wouldn't exactly call that a "successful" marriage. The entire prophecy is based on her continued unfaithfulness to Hosea and the difficulty of loving her through it.

Yes, if you happen to marry a prostitute, you're still expected to love her unconditionally; but the better course is not to marry her at all.

 

[jpcedotal]

As the number of past sex partners increase the more likely you will not be the last one. Sure this is not true of every case, but go into a any relationship with your eyes open fully aware that a person with many sex partners in the past will probably not be there when times get hard....but, I know, the one you found is different...(sarcasm).

 

[c1ners]

I don't think it works like that. I think worldly guys sometimes choose to marry virgins for that very reason. At least several I know have. Its the virgin guys who tend to fall in love with the first girl who gives them sex.

lol! This post does not make a lick of sense. Isn't every man a virgin at one time in his life? And expecting your mate to be pure while knowing that you are not is just a little on the selfish side. Don't you think?

 

[Gabe7]

lol! This post does not make a lick of sense. Isn't every man a virgin at one time in his life? And expecting your mate to be pure while knowing that you are not is just a little on the selfish side. Don't you think?

I suspect its like a drug addict refusing to marry another drug addicts. Now why would they do a thing like that? Muchas problemas, thats why.

 

[Luther073082]

It doesn't say the consequences of the action are gone. If someone with AIDS gets married guess what. So it is with their experiences and how those experiences colour their perspective on a great many things. ie sex and love. Virgins lack experience in those areas; hence, I won't be competing against the past. Even if you say the past is washed away with Christians I think most of us realize the reality of the situation. What we do affects us.

Some things will be effected but surprisingly little is affected. Besides what kind of witness is it to demand that your wife be a virgin. The Christian faith is about the forgiveness of sins. You don't witness to the forgiveness of sins by not being able to forgive sins.

My friend says emotions are fleeting. He tells me he loves different women all the time and he tells them he loves them. I've called him out on it and he says that when he tells them he loves them he means it with all his heart and soul. How long that feeling lasts though is as varied as the women he finds himself in love with.

Your friend is a liar and doesn't know what love is.

Love is a choice. Feelings and emotions are nice. . . but those feelings arn't love. . . not real love. Real love is when you arn't having those feelings but decide to do the loving thing anyways. Real love is being angry with your spouse but still not yelling at them, being calm with them, tender and uplifting.

Real love is sacrficing yourself, your wants and your desires because the beloved wants something different.

Your friend is not wise but a fool, and knows nothing of what love is. If I where you I would find wiser friends.

The only thing your friend is right about is emotions and feelings can be fleeting. But love isn't in those emotions, they are in a committment. "I love you" doesn't mean "I feel close to you right now." It is natural and great to feel close to someone you do love, but that is not what love is.

"I love you" means I am committed to you. There is no love without committment.

If you want to find someone who knows what love is. . . go talk to someone who's been happily married for 50 years. Ask them what it means to love someone. Not someone who has a new girlfriend every couple months. That person only knows what feels good to him at the time.

 

[c1ners]

I suspect its like a drug addict refusing to marry another drug addicts. Now why would they do a thing like that? Muchas problemas, thats why.

No, it's not the same at all. If you want real advise, I suggest that you grow up immensely before you even consider marriage. If not your marriage is doomed to fail before it even begins.

 

[WeCryOut]

I guess it depends....The Bible makes it pretty clear that sin is sin. So if you've ever looked at a woman and lusted after her, you are just as guilty of sexual sin as the non-virgin is. Sure the person who has actually engaged in intercourse has a different set of consequences than the person who hasn't....but in God's eyes someone who has viewed inappropriate content or masturbated isn't in any better of a position of purity than someone who has actually engaged in premarital sex.

On the other hand, if you aren't willing to forgive the past of your potential spouse, don't do them the disservice of marrying them. They deserve someone who can overlook their mistakes and move forward with as a new couple purified by Christ's love.

 

[Matorin]

The key then is to avoid such relationships that are doomed to fail. Are there any Bible marriages where the man or woman was promiscuous prior to marriage?

Jesus and the Church

 

[CaliforniaJosiah]

It seems like the choices we make determine what kind of person we are. Is marrying a woman who isn't a virgin a bad idea?

Two thoughts....

1. Yes, a GOOD thing!

2. Good luck...




.

 

[ParentofChildren]

It sounds like you wonder if virginity is a requirement. I had a similar thread http://www.christianforums.com/t7536958/ .
If her lack of virginity is a concern you may want to look deeper at your own faith & pride. Ask her to share her history. Maybe this was before she was a believer, maybe she had bad role models, maybe she traded sex for affection, and this could just be bad choices. If you love her than her sexual status should be non-consciequencal because the greatest gift is love... Not virginity…

 

[If Not For Grace]

Is it a bad idea to marry a woman who is not a virgin?

No

 

[beckyjustbecky]

So I'm going to answer that question with questions.

What is every prostitute in the world got saved. Do they have the right to marry? To have a loving and fulfilling relationship?

What is every rape victim got saved, they arn't virgins and not by choice? Is it a bad idea to marry them?

What if every woman who had sex before she knew it was wrong got saved? Wouldn't they want to marry, to have a family?

What if we all walked around with our sins tattooed on our foreheads?

What about men who arn't virgins?

 

[OGM]

So I'm going to answer that question with questions.

What is every prostitute in the world got saved. Do they have the right to marry? To have a loving and fulfilling relationship?

What is every rape victim got saved, they arn't virgins and not by choice? Is it a bad idea to marry them?

What if every woman who had sex before she knew it was wrong got saved? Wouldn't they want to marry, to have a family?

What if we all walked around with our sins tattooed on our foreheads?

What about men who arn't virgins?

All very good questions; the answers should be quite interesting.

 

[Romanseight2005]

I suspect its like a drug addict refusing to marry another drug addicts. Now why would they do a thing like that? Muchas problems, that's why.

Why would a non-drug addict want to marry a drug addict? Two drug addicts, have a better chance of letting each other do as they please, or maybe they will do drugs together. A non drug addict, will likely nag the drug addict, because they will not be able to accept the insanity without a fight.

So, the only hope for a marriage is for both of them to walk in a manner worthy of their calling.

Btw, if you go into marriage, placing different expectations on your wife, than you have for yourself, your marriage is doomed.

 

[Romanseight2005]

No, it's not the same at all. If you want real advise, I suggest that you grow up immensely before you even consider marriage. If not your marriage is doomed to fail before it even begins.

 

[Romanseight2005]

I wouldn't exactly call that a "successful" marriage. The entire prophecy is based on her continued unfaithfulness to Hosea and the difficulty of loving her through it.

Yes, if you happen to marry a prostitute, you're still expected to love her unconditionally; but the better course is not to marry her at all.

Then likewise, a virgin shouldn't marry a man with a sexually promiscuous past either.

 

[pappastratos]

not really, but if you have limited sexual experience ( which is fine) you need to look for the same in a girl, not a girl who 'did' the footabll team & 1/2 the band. Or a woman who has a lot of 1 night stands from a beer joint. YOu will look at her & wonder,,,,,

 

[LinkH]

It is perfectly reasonable for a Christian man to have a high standard for his bride that she be a virgin. It is perfectly reasonable for a woman to expect the same thing of her husband.

If a young man only wants to marry a virgin, good for him. Pray to get that. My wife and I both got that prayered answered since we both waited until marriage.

I don't have any fear at all of my wife running off and cheating with me or anything like that, not just because she was a virgin, but because of her faith.

If you are a virgin, it is particularly reasonable to expect your partner to be. If a man is not a virgin, perhaps he should consider one of the girls he 'spoiled' before finding a virgin bride, especially if she has only been with him.