Hi there,
So look I'm not saying this necessarily applies to you or that you need to be brutally honest with me if you don't want to, but in my own "walk with God" I have come to the conclusion that there is great freedom, in knowing what manner of "god" (small g) you are, before you begin to question what manner of god God is (capital G).
Let me give you an example, if I was God, I would never expect people to fear me, I would never expect people to change unless they really wanted to, I would never attempt to... I don't know... pay out someone who I thought was an especially wicked sinner (alright, that last one would be tempting), in fact, if I honestly thought I was God, I would probably begin to see being God as well (as I posted in the theology section) a cry for help. I would be needy. I would expect other people to pander to me and tell me how to improve my own character and basically let me be creative about my passion for writing (I am verbose, does it show? lol, but I digress, actually there should be an acronym for that b-i-d).
So you see, I know what I would attempt to do if for example God suddenly came to me and said "I've had it, you're God now, you deal with it". I wonder if perhaps one of the reasons people have such a hard time dealing with God is that they've never looked at it from His perspective, and they've never looked at it from His perspective because they've always thought of Him as "in a league of His own" and not someone they can really relate to. And well, if you think about it, that's what Jesus came to fix, Jesus came to show that you can have a relationship with God that is basically not about Judgment.
What I think this thought experiment shows, is that you can have a relationship with God that is about Judgment, just that you can be smart about it and put the ball in your half of the court (so to speak, another acronym? no, too camp). I mean if you really know yourself as a god, inside and out, how can God argue with you? Short of getting angry with you, He is basically stuck and if you are being reasonable, what's the worst that can happen? He proves He is God and you suffer? Well, you were going to suffer anyway, right? On the other hand, you might discover that God totally wants you to stand up for yourself and that if you just think of yourself a bit more positively on a regular basis, you can be a lot more assertive and pushy when for all intents and purposes it's any man's game.
So I don't know, are you secure enough to open up about this? Is this why you have reservations about God? Are you willing to test God on His level (believe me I am not saying you can't screw it up if you act like a moron because you think its smart, but if you truly are a moron your life was never going to turn out great anyway, right? I mean it's all fairly sound logic so far, right?) Are you mature enough to take criticism about your godness? Isn't the best way to tell anything for sure to test it with yourself?
Because let's face it, if there was no God, how could anyone ever act like a god?
So look I'm not saying this necessarily applies to you or that you need to be brutally honest with me if you don't want to, but in my own "walk with God" I have come to the conclusion that there is great freedom, in knowing what manner of "god" (small g) you are, before you begin to question what manner of god God is (capital G).
Let me give you an example, if I was God, I would never expect people to fear me, I would never expect people to change unless they really wanted to, I would never attempt to... I don't know... pay out someone who I thought was an especially wicked sinner (alright, that last one would be tempting), in fact, if I honestly thought I was God, I would probably begin to see being God as well (as I posted in the theology section) a cry for help. I would be needy. I would expect other people to pander to me and tell me how to improve my own character and basically let me be creative about my passion for writing (I am verbose, does it show? lol, but I digress, actually there should be an acronym for that b-i-d).
So you see, I know what I would attempt to do if for example God suddenly came to me and said "I've had it, you're God now, you deal with it". I wonder if perhaps one of the reasons people have such a hard time dealing with God is that they've never looked at it from His perspective, and they've never looked at it from His perspective because they've always thought of Him as "in a league of His own" and not someone they can really relate to. And well, if you think about it, that's what Jesus came to fix, Jesus came to show that you can have a relationship with God that is basically not about Judgment.
What I think this thought experiment shows, is that you can have a relationship with God that is about Judgment, just that you can be smart about it and put the ball in your half of the court (so to speak, another acronym? no, too camp). I mean if you really know yourself as a god, inside and out, how can God argue with you? Short of getting angry with you, He is basically stuck and if you are being reasonable, what's the worst that can happen? He proves He is God and you suffer? Well, you were going to suffer anyway, right? On the other hand, you might discover that God totally wants you to stand up for yourself and that if you just think of yourself a bit more positively on a regular basis, you can be a lot more assertive and pushy when for all intents and purposes it's any man's game.
So I don't know, are you secure enough to open up about this? Is this why you have reservations about God? Are you willing to test God on His level (believe me I am not saying you can't screw it up if you act like a moron because you think its smart, but if you truly are a moron your life was never going to turn out great anyway, right? I mean it's all fairly sound logic so far, right?) Are you mature enough to take criticism about your godness? Isn't the best way to tell anything for sure to test it with yourself?
Because let's face it, if there was no God, how could anyone ever act like a god?