I'll answer with another question. How does money command? Does it dictate? Or have any physical power? Yet, people would do anything for it. Chase it everywhere it goes, and do whatever it pleases.
Paul said that in a marriage, a man would do any anything to please his wife. And I agree. In a marriage you tend to "forget" certain things. Priorities change, views change. Who you were before marriage is not the same as you are in the marriage.
Love is a beautiful thing, without question. However, most people never find it. I myself hope to find it someday, but realistically I know it's not likely. Only if God will help to find her, only then.
What worries me is the vow. I take the vow of marriage, I need to uphold it. If something goes wrong, I'll have to bear that stain for the rest of my life. What God forms, man must not break.
I remained single not because I prefer it. I don't prefer anything. I remained because God showed me some traits that I found to be scarce today. I didn't knew their importance prior to Him pointing them out to me. I'll probably remain single for the rest of my life, because I can handle it, and very well. God would not have given this "resilience" if He would simply allow me to marry anyone. Everything given is for a purpose. Besides, if I were to make a mistake with this, I know what He'll say to me, which is "You should have know better".
It's fine to have them as long as they are controllable. You have sexual desires: are you capable of saying NO to yourself? Say you want it, and say to yourself: not this week, but maybe next week. Can you handle it?
Well, you can
let money, or the love of money, or worries about money, dictate your life, certainly. And if you're a worldly person, chasing worldly things, and not prioritizing godly things, then yes, money will likely run your life in some way. if you're an unbeliever, well, you'll have certain attitudes toward money. if you're a believer, your perspective shifts, and you'll have different attitudes.
Does marriage change people? It can, certainly. It'll definitely challenge you. But it's not inevitable that you'll change for the
worse. We all have the power to control our decisions and actions.
Also, what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7 was that your interests are "divided." Yes, you have a spouse to please and take care of. But that doesn't
stop you from doing God's work, it just makes it a bit more complicated and challenging at times. If both commitments are too much for you, well, you're not required to marry. Aren't most pastors married, after all?
You also mention that the idea of marriage vows scares you. I understand that. It's a weighty commitment. And a lot of people are going to be counting on you; your family, your spouse's family, your kids, etc. It's OK to be intimidated by that. That's healthy. If you assumed that you could handle it no problem, well, that seems like an indicator of arrogance or hubris. Everyone's going to struggle, and fail, and make mistakes. But the kind of crises that ruin marriages will be things that you consciously choose, and consciously compromise on, bit by bit. We're not robots. We can make choices. And it helps to have good, godly people in your life who can observe your marriage and provide you with help and encouragement.
You said you hope to find love one day. I wouldn't give up on the dream, or give up on making yourself into an eligible marriage partner that your future spouse and her family will approve of. If you
do give up on it, well, isn't it
guaranteed to never happen?
Are you afraid of making mistakes in marriage? Every married couple makes those. Nobody's perfect. Do you feel pressure to be a perfect husband if you do marry?
Are we capable of controlling ourselves when it comes to sexual desires? Yes. As Christians, we all are. We can't always control what sorts of things tempt us and appeal to us. Or how strong these temptations are. But self-control is called a fruit of the Holy Spirit in Galatians. Desiring sex isn't inherently sinful. But sex is restricted to marriage.
When Jesus saved us, He gave us freedom from sin (Romans 6:6) the Holy Spirit gives us self-control, so we can refuse sin. We'll still be attacked by external temptations, and by our own impulses and desires. But we can learn discipline to guard against these. In 2 Peter 1:6, we're told that self-control leads to perseverance; as we value the long-term good, we can better resist instant gratification.
