Is being single, and able to handle it, a blessing?

[prudent_commenter]

Don't make generalizations of women according to Eve. Don't forget at one point, a female disciple of Christ got elevated above the others by Jesus Himself.

Jesus did not held such low views of women as you do.

Yes, but that's one. Through the bible there were other women that had great faith, and God answered them. But they were few.

And facts contradict your statements. In the world's most corrupt nations with highest rates of human rights abuses, their organizational structures are dominated by men.

Power corrupts. The same thing would've happened if women were in their position. Not all can handle it. Applies to power, money, food & drink, singleness. Who can handle it?

And if you're so worried of women's powerful "corrupting influences", perhaps, you're not as strong against temptations as you thought you are

Proven that I am surrounded by temptation, yet I drink only water, eat bland food, never succumb to women, and don't partake in comfort and "fun"?

Paul most likely said these things under a strong cultural context of their time and geography.

Yes, but it matches God's words. If it were only cultural, it shouldn't have matched God directive.

On the other hand, Jesus taught things that are reserved only to His closest disciples (are you one?).

I do what I'm told to do. That's being led. You would recognize this by a person's doings, being the exact opposite of what you find in society. Absolute freedom to "live life", yet he does none of it.

John 15:15
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

How is this relevant?

 

[timewerx]

I don't know if they are.

I think your prejudice against women makes it very hard for you to see any good women out there.

 

[timewerx]

How is this relevant?

On the subject of "Christ is the head of man and man is the head of woman" according to Paul.

Yet Jesus said. "We're friends" in John 15:15. as opposed to Jesus being the "head" of His disciples.

Think of the implications on women.

As I've said before, you're close but your prejudice on women is holding you back. Jesus did not teach us to think that way.

 

[prudent_commenter]

I think your prejudice against women makes it very hard for you to see any good women out there.

I don't care for what a person says. I care about what that person does. I look at what they do, and how they behave.

Besides, I'm not supposed to find many good ones, but only one. There is only one for me, and chosen by God Himself, not me.

 

[James Wesley]

Is being single a blessing? Maybe, if you have the ability to deal with it. Sounds like you have this.

Is the ability to handle singleness a blessing? Yes. That's what Jesus and Paul seemed to say.

See 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Paul basically says that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. Now, this is interpreted by some to mean that a person can do "more ministry" as a single. But I don't think that's what Paul says here. I mean, if that's the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you aren’t distracted by the desire for marriage, then maybe you have the gift of singleness.

So I believe the "gift of singleness" refers to an ability that God gives certain people. I'm not 100% sure, but that's what I lean towards. Now, that being said, I do believe it's possible that there's some Christians who lack this "gift" who still aren't able to find mates. There might be all sorts of reasons for this. Maybe they failed to prepare for marriage (financially, for instance) Maybe they have bad social skills. Maybe they're bad at talking to the opposite sex. Maybe they live somewhere where there's no eligible mates. Maybe they're a new believer in a part of the world where there's no eligible Christian partners.

In Matthew 19, Jesus mentions eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others (e.g., castration) Maybe this can also mean them being affected by other men and by worldly problems.

 

[prudent_commenter]

Is being single a blessing? Maybe, if you have the ability to deal with it. Sounds like you have this.

Is the ability to handle singleness a blessing? Yes. That's what Jesus and Paul seemed to say.

See 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Paul basically says that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. Now, this is interpreted by some to mean that a person can do "more ministry" as a single. But I don't think that's what Paul says here. I mean, if that's the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you aren’t distracted by the desire for marriage, then maybe you have the gift of singleness.

In my view, marriage is a distraction regardless of how you handle it. This is because, if ever the day should come when you have to decide to serve God or server your wife, who do you choose? For the sake of the example, you can only choose one. You took a vow to serve your wife. And being a Christian, you also have obligation to God. Who do you obey first?

I fully agree with what Jesus said in the parable of the rich young man. Can't have two masters. Having a wife means following the money, because a wife (and potential children) demands earthly things. You alone, want nothing. But together, you want. And are responsible for acquiring it, per the marriage vow.

I believe that priests and pastors get married to be viewed as examples.

So I believe the "gift of singleness" refers to an ability that God gives certain people. I'm not 100% sure, but that's what I lean towards. Now, that being said, I do believe it's possible that there's some Christians who lack this "gift" who still aren't able to find mates. There might be all sorts of reasons for this. Maybe they failed to prepare for marriage (financially, for instance) Maybe they have bad social skills. Maybe they're bad at talking to the opposite sex. Maybe they live somewhere where there's no eligible mates. Maybe they're a new believer in a part of the world where there's no eligible Christian partners.

This is a long conversation. I think people choose for themselves instead of letting God do it. When you choose for yourself, you go after things that have no value: such as beauty. It doesn't last, it creates confusion, it creates desire, and many others. Those that choose properly, end up married until death.

In Matthew 19, Jesus mentions eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others (e.g., castration) Maybe this can also mean them being affected by other men and by worldly problems.

I take that verse to mean God's doing, not man's.

 

[Aaron112]

a good wife (or a good husband) is rare treasure and difficult to find. Yahweh is the One Who Provides! in His Good Pleasure (when He likes/chooses).

 

[prudent_commenter]

A good man is easier to find than a woman. I don't know what it is, but women seem to be looking for solutions everywhere but inside them. Whereas with men, they seem to be looking inside for solutions. This is just my observation.

I am very thankful to God for raising me as He did. For keeping away from all this mess. And giving me the upper hand in a way. This is because, when I describe myself, no woman pursues because she knows she doesn't have a chance. This is good, and it filters out those that should not be.

 

[Muhan]

A good man is easier to find than a woman. I don't know what it is, but women seem to be looking for solutions everywhere but inside them. Whereas with men, they seem to be looking inside for solutions. This is just my observation.

I am very thankful to God for raising me as He did. For keeping away from all this mess. And giving me the upper hand in a way. This is because, when I describe myself, no woman pursues because she knows she doesn't have a chance. This is good, and it filters out those that should not be.

Are you saying that you have never met an unmarried woman, who is born of the Spirit of God?
Is that what you are saying by this you have stated in your post?

 

[James Wesley]

In my view, marriage is a distraction regardless of how you handle it. This is because, if ever the day should come when you have to decide to serve God or server your wife, who do you choose? For the sake of the example, you can only choose one. You took a vow to serve your wife. And being a Christian, you also have obligation to God. Who do you obey first?

I fully agree with what Jesus said in the parable of the rich young man. Can't have two masters. Having a wife means following the money, because a wife (and potential children) demands earthly things. You alone, want nothing. But together, you want. And are responsible for acquiring it, per the marriage vow.

I believe that priests and pastors get married to be viewed as examples.

This is a long conversation. I think people choose for themselves instead of letting God do it. When you choose for yourself, you go after things that have no value: such as beauty. It doesn't last, it creates confusion, it creates desire, and many others. Those that choose properly, end up married until death.

I take that verse to mean God's doing, not man's.

Well, you obey God first. Right?

And I don't think you necessarily have two "masters" when you get married. Yes, Paul did say in 1 Cor. 7:34 that a married person's interests are divided. So, yes, marriage does introduce issues. Are these issues impossible to resolve or manage? I would say no. If they were, why would anyone bother getting married? Why are most Christians married? Why are all the pastors and church elders and ministry leaders married? Did they make a terrible mistake? This is why it's so important to choose a suitable partner.

Yes, marriage comes with challenges. So does singleness. Being single can be simpler, sure. It's not necessarily easier.

Take the desire for love/romance/sex, for instance. Paul talked about people who "burned with passion," and he advised those people to marry, even if he personally thought singleness was better. Those desires may seem trivial or unimportant to some. But they are real. And, well, Jesus doesn't exactly do anything to satisfy those, now, does He?

Some may view marriage as too hard, and not worth it. Others may acknowledge that it's hard, but still find it worth it.

"I think people choose for themselves instead of letting God do it." Well, I don't think God makes life decisions for us. This is 1 Corinthians 7:39: "A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord." It seems like Paul is saying that we have a choice in the matter.

The Bible doesn't tell us anything about "soulmates" or "The One" That idea comes from Greek philosophy and mythology. Does God really make life decisions for us? Will He "choose" a spouse for us if we "let" Him, somehow? How? What does that even look like? Does the Bible support the idea that God chooses mates for us?

Is it better for every Christian of every historical era to remain single forever, despite all the concessions Paul and Jesus themselves made? Apparently, most Christians decide "no" and choose marriage.

 

[timewerx]

A good man is easier to find than a woman. I don't know what it is, but women seem to be looking for solutions everywhere but inside them. Whereas with men, they seem to be looking inside for solutions. This is just my observation.

I am very thankful to God for raising me as He did. For keeping away from all this mess. And giving me the upper hand in a way. This is because, when I describe myself, no woman pursues because she knows she doesn't have a chance. This is good, and it filters out those that should not be.

I think you have strong prejudice against women and is showing up in your posts.

You also said in your posts you've been isolated from people at times and even seem to value isolation so your experience with people is unreliable.

My experience is different. If the are problems, I've seen it equally from both men and women.

And I'm not allowing worldliness to cloud my judgement. I'm also very frugal in the way I live. I'm underweight from eating very little. I don't shop, I don't travel and only get around the city mostly by bicycle, skates, or simply running.

 

[Aaron112]

Totally Yes and Amen in Christ Jesus Abiding Eternally (after such a short pitiable? life on earth with pain and persecution )....
As King David, the man after God's Own Heart (God Says Himself) , wrote:
God Scheduled all of my (our) days of our lives, even BEFORE He Created the universe.
And, of course, He is Perfectly Able, and Always Scheduled/and Does/ what is best for us. (though it seems clear few trust Him enough to obey Him and always DO what He Says. Be Doers and not merely hearers is frquently parrotted and it seems very rarely accomplished or seen among people on earth, even so-called Christians.....

Does God really make life decisions for us? Will He "choose" a spouse for us if we "let" Him, somehow? How? What does that even look like? Does the Bible support the idea that God chooses mates for us?

 

[prudent_commenter]

Well, you obey God first. Right?

And I don't think you necessarily have two "masters" when you get married. Yes, Paul did say in 1 Cor. 7:34 that a married person's interests are divided. So, yes, marriage does introduce issues. Are these issues impossible to resolve or manage? I would say no. If they were, why would anyone bother getting married? Why are most Christians married? Why are all the pastors and church elders and ministry leaders married? Did they make a terrible mistake? This is why it's so important to choose a suitable partner.

A master is one that demands. Your wife, tells you or demands of you?

I already told you. Pastors and priests need to be close to the population, otherwise no one would follow. They act or, better yet, they should act as examples. Would you follow a recluse, that never touched a woman in his life, and lives separated from the world, and doesn't cut his hair?

Yes, marriage comes with challenges. So does singleness. Being single can be simpler, sure. It's not necessarily easier.

What is intended for you is extremely easy. Take me for example, lust is nothing. I stay away from things without even thinking. Why? Because it comes naturally - it cannot be taught, it cannot be faked - either have it or you don't.
Same thing with singleness, if it's natural it's very easy. If it's something like "oh, I want to be free", it's hard alright.

Take the desire for love/romance/sex, for instance. Paul talked about people who "burned with passion," and he advised those people to marry, even if he personally thought singleness was better. Those desires may seem trivial or unimportant to some. But they are real. And, well, Jesus doesn't exactly do anything to satisfy those, now, does He?

Those that have sexual desire, need to get married. I believe that's how you know that marriage is for you.

Some may view marriage as too hard, and not worth it. Others may acknowledge that it's hard, but still find it worth it.

That's the problem: you shouldn't view it as anything. You need to do according to your strengths and weaknesses. Who decides if it's worth it?

The Bible doesn't tell us anything about "soulmates" or "The One" That idea comes from Greek philosophy and mythology. Does God really make life decisions for us? Will He "choose" a spouse for us if we "let" Him, somehow? How? What does that even look like? Does the Bible support the idea that God chooses mates for us?

You can only love person in this world. Anything else is simply lust. You don't want love, but sexual intercourse. It's very important to perceive the difference between the two. Love comes only once, sex is unlimited.

Is it better for every Christian of every historical era to remain single forever, despite all the concessions Paul and Jesus themselves made? Apparently, most Christians decide "no" and choose marriage.

No, it is better for people to evaluate themselves, and understand the gifts that they have from God.

 

[prudent_commenter]

I think you have strong prejudice against women and is showing up in your posts.

I've seen how corruption affects men and women. And women are easily deceived.

You also said in your posts you've been isolated from people at times and even seem to value isolation so your experience with people is unreliable.

You can only observe what is happening from a great distance. Objectivity comes from that. Being in it causes subjectivity, and thus not valued.

My experience is different. If the are problems, I've seen it equally from both men and women.

You haven't evaluated corruption.

And I'm not allowing worldliness to cloud my judgement. I'm also very frugal in the way I live. I'm underweight from eating very little. I don't shop, I don't travel and only get around the city mostly by bicycle, skates, or simply running.

It's enough to want something, and that is considered drunkness...

 

[James Wesley]

A master is one that demands. Your wife, tells you or demands of you?

I already told you. Pastors and priests need to be close to the population, otherwise no one would follow. They act or, better yet, they should act as examples. Would you follow a recluse, that never touched a woman in his life, and lives separated from the world, and doesn't cut his hair?

What is intended for you is extremely easy. Take me for example, lust is nothing. I stay away from things without even thinking. Why? Because it comes naturally - it cannot be taught, it cannot be faked - either have it or you don't.
Same thing with singleness, if it's natural it's very easy. If it's something like "oh, I want to be free", it's hard alright.

Those that have sexual desire, need to get married. I believe that's how you know that marriage is for you.

That's the problem: you shouldn't view it as anything. You need to do according to your strengths and weaknesses. Who decides if it's worth it?

You can only love person in this world. Anything else is simply lust. You don't want love, but sexual intercourse. It's very important to perceive the difference between the two. Love comes only once, sex is unlimited.

No, it is better for people to evaluate themselves, and understand the gifts that they have from God.

You're saying a wife makes demands of you? If you get married, you submit to a tyrannical dictator? That's a built-in feature of every marriage? Every marriage is doomed to be unhealthy?

My point about pastors was that people often claim that being single is a great asset because it allows you to "focus more" on your ministry. And people often view pastors and church leaders/elders as role models. But very rarely do we see these people actually live out the single life.

You say lust isn't much of a challenge for you. OK. That might be your own experience. That's not the case for everyone. And it's not necessarily lust to simply have strong sexual desires. Paul said it may be advisable for people like that to marry, if they can't handle it. Apparently, you can. That's fine.

Can you only love one person in this world? Well, the New Testament does use the term "wife" in the singular, so it does seem to endorse monogamy, certainly. But it's not a bad thing to have sexual desires. That's just a normal part of being human. Of course, there's sinful ways to fulfill those desires, and godly ways.

 

[prudent_commenter]

Totally Yes and Amen in Christ Jesus Abiding Eternally (after such a short pitiable? life on earth with pain and persecution )....
As King David, the man after God's Own Heart (God Says Himself) , wrote:
God Scheduled all of my (our) days of our lives, even BEFORE He Created the universe.
And, of course, He is Perfectly Able, and Always Scheduled/and Does/ what is best for us. (though it seems clear few trust Him enough to obey Him and always DO what He Says. Be Doers and not merely hearers is frquently parrotted and it seems very rarely accomplished or seen among people on earth, even so-called Christians.....

Exactly.

In order for God to lead you, you need to let Him.

When a marriage is lead by God, it is perfect. There will no problems whatsoever. Just clear sailing from the vow to the end. That's God. What man does are marriages that are half-perfect, that require help, advice, the need of therapy, and more.

And in my case, it's very complicated to find a woman. I was not aware of my qualities until a few years ago when God showed them to me. I can't be with any woman. It has to be chosen by God.