Is being single, and able to handle it, a blessing?

[prudent_commenter]

I've been pondering this for a lot of time. It's curious even to me.

I've never had a relationship with anyone. This is because I've never felt the need to be with someone. Loneliness has no effect on me. And I've never had uncontrollable desires for sexual intercourse. The desire does exist but it is fully controlled. When I say NO, it's NO - that sort of thing. (The same applies to every other lust, but it's beyond the scope of this post). Since sexual lust has no effect, and since loneliness is cancelled out, this was possible.

The curious thing loneliness is that, instead of having an effect, it's actually more than that: I never feel lonely, even when completely isolated. This has been from the very beginning. It's not something new, it's not due to advancement of age, and what else may be.

Another thing would be that, whenever I had the opportunity to fornicate, I experienced weird sensations. Bad feelings, of guilt, of grief, of sadness... anything but what the actual sensation should be. And, because of this, I've remained pure for all this time. The opportunities were not set-up by me, but more societal inclination. But the intent was clear, and it has kept me away from it. Similarly, a woman can never seduce me. No matter what she does, it doesn't work. The body listens to the mind, and mind processes the situation as-is. And until the full-picture is seen, nothing is done.

Something similar is happening with people too. There are some signs that happen when trying to maintain a friendship relationship with someone that will drag me down. I feel as if something is weighing me down. A burden, something unclean - I don't know how to explain it.

As I've noticed in the world today, men are incapable of living without women. It may be just my bias, but I rarely see men that can - without committing sin - be without women. Even those that claim to be so, there's still something there.
I believe it is God's influence when one that is in full control of sexual desire, and not be affected by loneliness.

What do you make of this?

 

[Hoping2]

I've been pondering this for a lot of time. It's curious even to me.

I've never had a relationship with anyone. This is because I've never felt the need to be with someone. Loneliness has no effect on me. And I've never had uncontrollable desires for sexual intercourse. The desire does exist but it is fully controlled. When I say NO, it's NO - that sort of thing. (The same applies to every other lust, but it's beyond the scope of this post). Since sexual lust has no effect, and since loneliness is cancelled out, this was possible.

The curious thing loneliness is that, instead of having an effect, it's actually more than that: I never feel lonely, even when completely isolated. This has been from the very beginning. It's not something new, it's not due to advancement of age, and what else may be.

Another thing would be that, whenever I had the opportunity to fornicate, I experienced weird sensations. Bad feelings, of guilt, of grief, of sadness... anything but what the actual sensation should be. And, because of this, I've remained pure for all this time. The opportunities were not set-up by me, but more societal inclination. But the intent was clear, and it has kept me away from it. Similarly, a woman can never seduce me. No matter what she does, it doesn't work. The body listens to the mind, and mind processes the situation as-is. And until the full-picture is seen, nothing is done.

Something similar is happening with people too. There are some signs that happen when trying to maintain a friendship relationship with someone that will drag me down. I feel as if something is weighing me down. A burden, something unclean - I don't know how to explain it.

As I've noticed in the world today, men are incapable of living without women. It may be just my bias, but I rarely see men that can - without committing sin - be without women. Even those that claim to be so, there's still something there.
I believe it is God's influence when one that is in full control of sexual desire, and not be affected by loneliness.

What do you make of this?

You are simply a sub-set of humanity.
And certainly not the only one.
Are you a Christian ?
No never intimated anything about God's guidance, grace, or protection, so what do you really want ?

 

[prudent_commenter]

You are simply a sub-set of humanity.
And certainly not the only one.

Certainly. And I would've liked to find similar, but (apparently) they aren't that common. Might you explain why that is?

Are you a Christian ?

I believe you might be mistaken this sub-forum for another.

No never intimated anything about God's guidance, grace, or protection, so what do you really want ?

We're here. It's inferred.
I'd like to understand "the why" behind many of the things I'm living. Because if I don't understand them, I might make a mistake. If you were to read the thread, you would've concluded that there is a strong protection at play here.

 

[Muhan]

I've been pondering this for a lot of time. It's curious even to me.

I've never had a relationship with anyone. This is because I've never felt the need to be with someone. Loneliness has no effect on me. And I've never had uncontrollable desires for sexual intercourse. The desire does exist but it is fully controlled. When I say NO, it's NO - that sort of thing. (The same applies to every other lust, but it's beyond the scope of this post). Since sexual lust has no effect, and since loneliness is cancelled out, this was possible.

The curious thing loneliness is that, instead of having an effect, it's actually more than that: I never feel lonely, even when completely isolated. This has been from the very beginning. It's not something new, it's not due to advancement of age, and what else may be.

Another thing would be that, whenever I had the opportunity to fornicate, I experienced weird sensations. Bad feelings, of guilt, of grief, of sadness... anything but what the actual sensation should be. And, because of this, I've remained pure for all this time. The opportunities were not set-up by me, but more societal inclination. But the intent was clear, and it has kept me away from it. Similarly, a woman can never seduce me. No matter what she does, it doesn't work. The body listens to the mind, and mind processes the situation as-is. And until the full-picture is seen, nothing is done.

Something similar is happening with people too. There are some signs that happen when trying to maintain a friendship relationship with someone that will drag me down. I feel as if something is weighing me down. A burden, something unclean - I don't know how to explain it.

As I've noticed in the world today, men are incapable of living without women. It may be just my bias, but I rarely see men that can - without committing sin - be without women. Even those that claim to be so, there's still something there.
I believe it is God's influence when one that is in full control of sexual desire, and not be affected by loneliness.

What do you make of this?

For me, it is a blessing. Many would consider it a curse.
I say blessing because the cost of entertaining the ways of society are very high. To be able to live your life, you have to give many things. Some give money, others give health, others give time. But they don't give it freely, they give forcibly. And as such, in time bitterness will set in. There are a select few that chose to give neither of these things. For instance, I give these things to God and Him alone, but not man.
If you look around you'll see this "trade" happening everywhere. People are compelled to do it, but I never was.

 

[prudent_commenter]

@Muhan

It's a different subject, not relevant.

Also, low-effort posts are of no interest to me. Maybe you should read the TOS, I'm sure there is a mention there.

 

[Muhan]

@Muhan

It's a different subject, not relevant.

Also, low-effort posts are of no interest to me. Maybe you should read the TOS, I'm sure there is a mention there.

Maybe I should just bring you up to God?
And discuss with Him your relationship with His TOS.

 

[DragonFox91]

Yes, it is a blessing for you right now b/c it's what God's called you to right now. He has made everyone different & placed everyone in a different situation. This is to glorify him & help sanctify the saved

 

[SavedByGrace3]

Paul was known to be single, and he advocated it to others as well.

(1Co 7:7) For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
(1Co 7:8) I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
(1Co 7:9) But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

 

[timewerx]

Often it's just hormones.

And blessings are meant to be shared, else it's just noise - Matthew 25:31-46

 

[Hoping2]

Certainly. And I would've liked to find similar, but (apparently) they aren't that common. Might you explain why that is?

The compulsion to procreate is in our DNA.
The urge is more in some, and less in others.
It is random chance...unless God wants you to be this way.

Certainly. And I would've liked to find similar, but (apparently) they aren't that common. Might you explain why that is?

I believe you might be mistaken this sub-forum for another.

We're here. It's inferred.
I'd like to understand "the why" behind many of the things I'm living. Because if I don't understand them, I might make a mistake. If you were to read the thread, you would've concluded that there is a strong protection at play here.

I believe you might be mistaken this sub-forum for another.

My next comment stated my reason for the question

We're here. It's inferred.

OK.
Then the answer to your quest is...God made you that way.

I'd like to understand "the why" behind many of the things I'm living. Because if I don't understand them, I might make a mistake. If you were to read the thread, you would've concluded that there is a strong protection at play here.

Use your interest in the "why" to grow closer to God, so you can ask Him about it.
These things are not written in books.

You are an individual, so use your "place" to your advantage.
Being single myself, has allowed me to use my resources for the good of others.
Had I a wife and kids, my resources would have been devoted to them, instead of to orphanages and foodbanks.

 

[prudent_commenter]

The compulsion to procreate is in our DNA.
The urge is more in some, and less in others.
It is random chance...unless God wants you to be this way.

Yes, and it's uncontrollable. Which is the reason for fornicating.

If it was random, then I could not have lived without social interaction: family, friends, people to talk with. It was willed to be so.

OK.
Then the answer to your quest is...God made you that way.

The "who" is easier to tell. The "why" is much harder.

Use your interest in the "why" to grow closer to God, so you can ask Him about it.

I thought I could find like-people here.

These things are not written in books.

I found some things but not exactly what I live.

Being single myself, has allowed me to use my resources for the good of others.
Had I a wife and kids, my resources would have been devoted to them, instead of to orphanages and foodbanks.

Sure, but you have to ask yourself is it a calling or the result of something? For example, with the situation with the women, men are alone because of it. It's not that they wanted it, nor that they have a calling, it's just enforcement. And to cope, they do things to keep their sanity.
My case, I had/have opportunities, but am just told to not do it. And I can handle it without covering up the void with something. It is my assumption that while God cut women in my life, He also filled the that void. So as to never be bitter, sad, whatever. But the "why" is what is important to me.

 

[prudent_commenter]

Often it's just hormones.

Yes, but how does it explain being able to handle loneliness? No social interaction at all, and yet, I feel as if I'm always with someone.

And blessings are meant to be shared, else it's just noise - Matthew 25:31-46

That's my failure. What I have, I don't know how to use. It's a thing I'm working on, but so far, nothing has been used for anything.

 

[prudent_commenter]

Paul was known to be single, and he advocated it to others as well.

(1Co 7:7) For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
(1Co 7:8) I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
(1Co 7:9) But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

I agree that intent of marriage are for those that cannot contain. It's better to be married, rather than committing sexual immorality.

Did Paul ever explain why it was better to be alone? I would say that, if you can handle lust and loneliness, marriage isn't for you. But why is that? Is it because the other person might hinder your faith, your ascension?

 

[timewerx]

Yes, but how does it explain being able to handle loneliness? No social interaction at all, and yet, I feel as if I'm always with someone.

Introverts can handle isolation far better than extroverts. What defines introvert or extrovert is more about comfort in social situations and not actually your skill or ability to socialize or make conversations.

Just the way our individual brains are wired.

I'm somewhere in between. I don't mind having very little social interaction as remote worker. I also enjoy social gatherings. I've also spent times completely alone in an apartment when I worked overseas for years. The Holy Spirit can feel haunted sometimes, perhaps why they call it the "Holy Ghost".

That's my failure. What I have, I don't know how to use. It's a thing I'm working on, but so far, nothing has been used for anything.

As single, you'll have more free time and spare resources unless someone (a dependent) is under your care 24/7 and other circumstances

 

[prudent_commenter]

Introverts can handle isolation far better than extroverts. What defines introvert or extrovert is more about comfort in social situations and not actually your skill or ability to socialize or make conversations.

Just the way our individual brains are wired.

I'm somewhere in between. I don't mind having very little social interaction as remote worker. I also enjoy social gatherings. I've also spent times completely alone in an apartment when I worked overseas for years. The Holy Spirit can feel haunted sometimes, perhaps why they call it the "Holy Ghost".

To me, it's close to three years since I've seen or talked to anyone. I could even make it a decade. I've came close to a decade in the past.

From what I know, introverts have this "cool-down" period. After interactions, they need time to themselves. But they can't really be alone all the time.

As single, you'll have more free time and spare resources unless someone (a dependent) is under your care 24/7 and other circumstances

I am aware. I assume it's a common dream that people have. But, if loneliness can't be handled, it will kill you. Slowly, but surely. And, as I mentioned, it isn't without sin. People often do idiotic things when they are lonely. There are what they call "coping-mechanisms", I don't buy that, but to each his own.

 

[ozso]

To me, it's close to three years since I've seen or talked to anyone. I could even make it a decade. I've came close to a decade in the past.

Wow. How have you managed that? I'm a very solitary person, but usually have some sort of brief interaction with someone. Like a clerk or someone I'm ordering food from.

 

[prudent_commenter]

Wow. How have you managed that? I'm a very solitary person, but usually have some sort of brief interaction with someone. Like a clerk or someone I'm ordering food from.

I spent all my time indoors, and talk only when required.

 

[ozso]

I spent all my time indoors, and talk only when required.

So how have you managed to get food without seeing or talking to anyone for years? Do you live off the land?

 

[prudent_commenter]

I go once in a while to the store and buy necessities. I put it in my cart, pay and go.
I need very little actually. I fast every day, so barely consume anything.

 

[ozso]

I go once in a while to the store and buy necessities. I put it in my cart, pay and go.
I need very little actually. I fast every day, so barely consume anything.

Sounds monastic, ascetic. I myself live a pretty standard lifestyle, except in solitude at least 90+% of the time. I go to work. But work alone as a night watchman. And go shopping. And I go to church once a week. With a congregation of about 15 people at the most. I could just slip in and out without talking to anyone, but I think a certain amount of fellowship is a good thing. It's a discipline I suppose, because I'd actually rather not.