Is anyone else embrassed to still be a virgin?

[penNpaper]

I am 61 years old and not embarrassed about being a virgin. Looking back on my life I would like to be married and have a sexual relationship, but it looks like God's will for me is the path of singleness.

I like your attitude mister whether we are always single or will be married to remember that He is our Lord and to walk in Him always

You never know if God will have a special someone in her 60's mister either my father has told me...never say never ever because HE will prove you wrong to show HE is RIGHT

God Bless,
Drew

 

[MacFall]

never say never ever because HE will prove you wrong to show HE is RIGHT

Hmm...

HAY GOD! I'm NEVER GETTING MARRIED!

 

[Themistocles]

Just a random thought, but for a lot of people losing one's virginity is akin to officially stepping into adulthood. Retaining one's virgin status is like holding onto childhood.

Yeah, I understand this feeling but it's wrong. Relationships, not sex, can help make you into an adult. Being responsible, to a degree, for someone else's welfare can make you an adult. But generally speaking the people who look at sex as a sign of "growing up" never do. People today have sex 2-4 years younger than folks who lived 60-70 years ago; a generation which, on the backs of 18 and 19 year olds, saved the world from tyranny twice and created a culture and economy more overwhelming then any before or since. The men who fought in World War II, saw their friends die then came home to quietly start a family, were grown-up- the women who operated the factories, made the uniforms and waited to hear news that their loved one had perished, were grown-up. The 26 year old living at home, still on their parents health insurance, high-fiving their buddies about the hot one they had the night before, is not grown-up.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Hmm...

HAY GOD! I'm NEVER GETTING MARRIED!

I did that. I'm like "Hey mister, not happening unless you make it happen!"

 

[leothelioness]

Yeah, I understand this feeling but it's wrong. Relationships, not sex, can help make you into an adult. Being responsible, to a degree, for someone else's welfare can make you an adult. But generally speaking the people who look at sex as a sign of "growing up" never do. People today have sex 2-4 years younger than folks who lived 60-70 years ago; a generation which, on the backs of 18 and 19 year olds, saved the world from tyranny twice and created a culture and economy more overwhelming then any before or since. The men who fought in World War II, saw their friends die then came home to quietly start a family, were grown-up- the women who operated the factories, made the uniforms and waited to hear news that their loved one had perished, were grown-up. The 26 year old living at home, still on their parents health insurance, high-fiving their buddies about the hot one they had the night before, is not grown-up.

I guess I'm not an adult, then.

 

[MacFall]

People today have sex 2-4 years younger than folks who lived 60-70 years ago

That's debatable. People talk about having sex now, because it is not as taboo. I don't think there's anything new under the sun; the difference is only in the way it happens. The most conservative societies in the world have hidden underworlds of depravity. The most liberal ones have red-light districts. The effect is the same.

However, one thing was different 60-70 years ago, and that is that because people were considered to be adults at a much younger age, they married 5-7 years before people today tend to marry. There is no good reason why marriage should follow 10 years after a person develops a sex drive.

That most people are not mature enough to marry at 16 or 18 is not an indication that people should be marrying later. Rather, it means that people are not maturing quickly enough. For that I would put the chief blame on the fact that for the first 18 years of a person's life, he or she is legally forbidden from working, legally segregated by age during the day for 9 months out of the year, and legally prohibited from responsibility. Society's extending formal education for another 4-6 years and considering a person unfit to work in all but menial labor until it has been completed doesn't help either.

 

[trentlogain2]

it amazes me that people go as far as to post highly personal information such as their sexual history (or lack thereof) on a message board.

to each his own, i guess.

 

[MacFall]

I guess I'm not an adult, then.

"Relationships" does not refer only to romantic interest. I agree with what he said: relationships - that is, how you treat others and receive their treatment of you - is what makes you an adult. I don't know how you are in person, but you seem to be a very respectful person from what I've seen of you online. This would suggest that you are an adult.

 

[MacFall]

it amazes me that people go as far as to post highly personal information such as their sexual history (or lack thereof) on a message board.

to each his own, i guess.

I think that it is good to talk about things like that in a mature way. The topic of sex is not shameful and should not be taboo. Graphic details would change things obviously, but so far it has been very tasteful and clinical from what I've read. I'm sure that people on this board are generally wise enough not to post information which would compromise them or cause anyone else to stumble.

 

[yam]

This. Your sex-life or lack thereof, are no-one's business but your own.

This , ur private life should remain private .

 

[leothelioness]

"Relationships" does not refer only to romantic interest. I agree with what he said: relationships - that is, how you treat others and receive their treatment of you - is what makes you an adult. I don't know how you are in person, but you seem to be a very respectful person from what I've seen of you online. This would suggest that you are an adult.

Oh, okay. Well, in that case I suppose I am.

 

[Flashlight]

No.

 

[Themistocles]

That's debatable. People talk about having sex now, because it is not as taboo. I don't think there's anything new under the sun; the difference is only in the way it happens. The most conservative societies in the world have hidden underworlds of depravity. The most liberal ones have red-light districts. The effect is the same.

However, one thing was different 60-70 years ago, and that is that because people were considered to be adults at a much younger age, they married 5-7 years before people today tend to marry. There is no good reason why marriage should follow 10 years after a person develops a sex drive.

That most people are not mature enough to marry at 16 or 18 is not an indication that people should be marrying later. Rather, it means that people are not maturing quickly enough. For that I would put the chief blame on the fact that for the first 18 years of a person's life, he or she is legally forbidden from working, legally segregated by age during the day for 9 months out of the year, and legally prohibited from responsibility. Society's extending formal education for another 4-6 years and considering a person unfit to work in all but menial labor until it has been completed doesn't help either.

Maybe a better way of phrasing it: more people waited. It wasn't uncool to wait.

Absolutely about everything else. We live in an infantilized society. There are a maybe a few good economic reasons for keeping people out of the workforce for awhile but it's wreaked havoc on our social structure. People aren't having kids til they're 30 or 40 and not because they can't find that "special someone" but because they're not ready to settle down. They really aren't mature enough. Which is baffling and worrying.

 

[Themistocles]

Oh, okay. Well, in that case I suppose I am.

Hey, I wouldn't be much of an adult in the other sense either so don't feel so bad. I guess I was just making the point that becoming an adult is about taking responsibility. Having sex, even having sex "responsibly", needs as much thought and care as breathing.

 

[Michael J]

Definately not. Does it make me feel a little isolated? Yeah, sometimes, but I never feel embarassed about it. Why would you want to give your virginity away to someone other than your spouse? Romantic, eh?

 

[Trashionista]

it amazes me that people go as far as to post highly personal information such as their sexual history (or lack thereof) on a message board.

to each his own, i guess.

I don't usually agree with you trent, but Ay-Firken-Men.

 

[Janetlove]

I don't usually agree with you trent, but Ay-Firken-Men.

Maybe I'm confused, but is this not what this message board is for. It's to provide support for people who are struggling in their Christian walk. I've been blessed by the people in this thread!! There are plenty of other threads to respond to. Why are you guys in this one? It makes no sense to me.

 

[Supreme]

You will come to learn, I'm sure, that sex is only a small part of life. It's perpetuated constantly as the be all and end all. I mean, it's good, but it's not the greatest thing in the world. Do you know what the greatest thing in the world is, though? Beauty, and beauty comes from following God and His commands. If you died a virgin, do you think people would remember you as the one who didn't loose their virginity? Do you think they'd care? Of course they wouldn't; they'd judge you by the content of your character, and nothing else. No one remembers Stalin or Ghandhi for their sex life; everyone remembers them for who they were and what they did. So be happy!

 

[catzrfluffy]

"content of your character"

Reminds me of Martin Luther King!

 

[Trashionista]

Maybe I'm confused, but is this not what this message board is for. It's to provide support for people who are struggling in their Christian walk. I've been blessed by the people in this thread!! There are plenty of other threads to respond to. Why are you guys in this one? It makes no sense to me.

With all due respect, this is a message board. We are allowed to respond, if you just wanted posters who would agree with you, you could've made the choice to specify that in your thread.

Furthermore, the sentiment expressed by trentlogain01 and myself is still related to the thread. It's a bit more difficult to feel ashamed of something no-one can tease you about; because no-one (but perhaps, someone you're about have sex with) can tease you about being a virgin, a Madonna, or a harlot if you don't give them the information. As far as I'm concerned if it's okay on this board to call Paris Hilton skanky (as many on this board have/do) because she's (allegedly) been around the block or is flagrant with her sexuality, one has every right to decry Purity Pledges and 'No Kisses, but I WILL TELL ANYONE WITH INTERNET ACCESS!' statements as equally tacky.