Introvert/ Introversion Awareness

[star in the sky]

"Introverts are boring cause theyre quiet"
They probably think our fun is going to a library to read a book and fall asleep. #Idogotothelibrary#

 

[lisah]

I'm introverted, and shy much of the time (INFP). It takes me a while to warm up to people. I am most comfortable alone or with a close friend. My boss's usually like me because I'm quiet and do my job, anticipate needs, and don't get involved in office politics.

Most of my friends have been extroverts, because that's what it takes to bring me out of my shell. Or...a glass or two of wine, maybe?

 

[star in the sky]

I'm introverted, and shy much of the time (INFP). It takes me a while to warm up to people. I am most comfortable alone or with a close friend. My boss's usually like me because I'm quiet and do my job, anticipate needs, and don't get involved in office politics.

Most of my friends have been extroverts, because that's what it takes to bring me out of my shell. Or...a glass or two of wine, maybe?

neat thing is you described me and introverts around the world and yeh ofice politics i find not worth my time im aware that im a sensitive emotional woman so therefore guard myself sometimes fromthe heat that can come from drama and office politics

 

[star in the sky]

along with the emotions of a sensitive introvert its a fine balance whether to jump in drama and politics and stretch myself emotionally feel really uncomfortable and risk being upset or hurt or build up walls and withdraw- personally God is healing me and im moving away from shyness i like to call myself 'quietly confident'. its a fine balance and a difficult balance but id rather let God make the call not me lay down what i want to help others at the same time love myself and not be a target for stretching myself

 

[lisah]

I try to avoid external drama, I have enough internal drama going on myself. But, I do think it is good to stretch yourself. I have been trying to do that as of late.

 

[star in the sky]

Are you a parent that recognizes this behaviour in yourself or other parents where they call their extroverted children ones that 'light up the room' or 'a breath of fresh air' type comments ? How do you feel about this in relation to your/ their introverted children ? How do you think the children feel? Personally it hurt me today I feel like my Dad and can see doesnt have excited expressions or that happy or excited to talk to me as my brothers girlfriend I know im more melancholy serious and quiet but it can hurt me and other introverted children its almost a comparison but its not . I just wanted your thoughts on this

 

[star in the sky]

I understand their not the same so people woulfd have different reactions to the different temperaments of their children but I think subtle things can hurt too.

 

[euripetelynn]

Another question I wanted to ask was how do you feel when someone who you know is an extrovert says they are an introvert , how do you feel about that? - and sometimes we dont know whether someone is a extrovert or introvert nor the person themselves may not be sure either.

These kinds of people remind me of the Out There from Hunchback of Notre Dame, which describes my attitudes as an introvert so well (the second half of the song, that is). I'm like, "All you socially competent people are so heedless of the gift it is to be you, don't even pretend you suffer in the way I do."

"Suffer" is a bit of an exaggeration of course; I don't think introversion is bad, but sometimes I think it'd be soooo nice to just be able to talk to the people I want to talk to without totally freaking out inside and having them leave midway through the conversation because I can't keep the dialogue going. For the most part, though, I've just gotten used to my social awkwardness. Some people even find it endearing.

One thing I've learned is to ask unexpected questions that cut out the usual banter and really let me know someone. For instance, I've found that asking people who their favorite Muppet is will tell me more about them than ten minutes of "What do you do?" or "Where are you from?". Your favorite Muppet tells me so much about you and it saves me time of having to ask predictable questions. I've also found that asking "What do you like to do?" or "What are your hobbies?" are equally as effective. Many people are having trouble finding work or feel unhappy with their jobs and asking "Where do you work?" is embarrassing and uncomfortable for many people (myself included). If they love what they do they'll tell you eventually; you don't have to dig hard to find it. When you focus on who they are instead of what they do you'll learn more and meet them on an honest level that makes a real difference.

I like how you think. I've tried to do this—ask people strange questions to get them thinking—but I often freeze up and forget my list of questions before I can ask. Ah well. Maybe it's time to come up with another list of questions.

My wife (also an Introvert) makes a game out of it by not telling some people anything about herself unless they ask. She knows people that don't know a single thing about her because all conversation is about them. Yet they seem to be completely unaware of the imbalance.

For a while, I did this too, and tried to focus the conversation on the other person. The imbalance can be pretty strange, when you know so many random details about a person, and they can barely remember how old you are or what you're majoring in even after years of being your friend.

Since then, I've realized that, in being more open myself, other people are more likely to open up too, so I've been trying to offer a little more info about myself without being prompted. It's hard, though, because I really struggle speaking when I don't think people care about what I'm saying, and I generally don't think people care about what I'm saying.

I hate when my husband comes home from the office dejected because he's been told again that he's "too quiet" or needs to "contribute more to the social life of the office", as though his introversion is some kind of defect.

This about sums up the entirety of my schooling I don't know how many "needs to speak out more in class" comments I've had on my report cards. That said, I also don't know how many times a teacher has written, "She doesn't talk much, but as soon as she says something, the whole class turns to listen." Sometimes it's beneficial to only speak when you have something good to say

feel free to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of being an introvert. you can actually name them - no way! You know like I mentioned about the rest and sleep thing and no dont be afraid in the premise of mutuality and respect to mention the if your an extrovert the weaknesses like of your introvert spouse or friend , were not gonna bash you for it! After all this is for sharing stories and comments .

Strengths: I'm often surprised how many times my friends will choose me over a more extroverted, fun individual because of my supposedly calming aura. Part of me always assumes that fun = good to be around, but whenever my friends need to relax, they call me, not the fun, witty extraverts. Also, because I'm so intensely shy, and also a fairly decent writer (sorry, vain moment coming up), I've been able to write some pretty hilarious/enlightening pieces on shyness. I think most people, even the most outgoing people, have moments of social anxiety, and people have told me they really connect with my pieces because I write about things they've experienced but have never really talked about, or heard others talk about (maybe because the people experiencing these things most strongly are too shy to discuss them openly ).

Weaknesses: it's hard to get a job, it's hard for me to network, it's hard for me to make friends, it's hard for me to keep friends...I guess there are a lot of weaknesses.

Overall though, I wouldn't trade in my introversion. It's shaped me in more ways than I probably know.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[janny108]

I'm an introvert born into a family of extroverts. My family enjoys partying and socializing with friends at events while I just like to spend time on the computer doing my own things. Growing up, my mother tried to come up with all these plans and deals to limit my time on the computer and force me go socialize with people who obviously want nothing to do with me and end up hurting me in the end. It baffles them that I can go to bars, restaurants, movie theaters and events alone. They always need a friend to go with them for these occasions.

I think that is the issue; why is someone always "needed" to go with them? Whenever I go shopping, sometimes I see 3-4 people going into a store. I have to ask myself, "why?? I get you......






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[janny108]

I'm introverted, and shy much of the time (INFP). It takes me a while to warm up to people. I am most comfortable alone or with a close friend. My boss's usually like me because I'm quiet and do my job, anticipate needs, and don't get involved in office politics.

Most of my friends have been extroverts, because that's what it takes to bring me out of my shell. Or...a glass or two of wine, maybe?

I think that is the issue; why is someone always "needed" to go with them? Whenever I go shopping, sometimes I see 3-4 people going into a store. I have to ask myself, "why?? I get you......






w

I'm in a small church where there are 6 people or so and have known each other for years. I've been going since Sept. and a lot of times I feel kind of left out since my husband is slow to come to church. Like today, they went to somewhere to eat. Part is why he is slow is that he smokes and drinks. I am under employed so right now I don't have much "free" money to do those things. It's not them, its how I feel. I'd like to know how I can view/do things differently.

 

[janny108]

I'm in a small church where there are 6 people or so and have known each other for years. I've been going since Sept. and a lot of times I feel kind of left out since my husband is slow to come to church. Like today, they went to somewhere to eat. Part is why he is slow is that he smokes and drinks. I am under employed so right now I don't have much "free" money to do those things. It's not them, its how I feel. I'd like to know how I can view/do things differently.

if this post does not belong here, pls tell me where it can be located, thanks

 

[star in the sky]

The post is fine I'm not a moderator I wouldn't worry about it

 

[sunshinesmile]

I think that is the issue; why is someone always "needed" to go with them? Whenever I go shopping, sometimes I see 3-4 people going into a store. I have to ask myself, "why?? I get you.....

It's interesting how different everyone is, and how even if a person is introverted, some things, for them, are easier done with other people/family

 

[JacquelineDeane55]

YO ! to all the introverts out there (Yes I am one)! Of course anyone is welcome here whether you are introverted or extroverted This thread will focus on introversion / introvert awareness, please add your 2 cents as Im certainly not an expert. Its for awareness plus sharing your own thoughts, comments , hurts, personal stories and encouragement and support.

Yes I am an Introvert and quite reserved. I don't talk a whole lot and I like being around a few people more than in a large crowd.

But I have a rich inner life and my mind is always active and I am always thinking something. I have deep thoughts, even if I don't talk or communicate them.

I was reading a book called "Jobs for Introverts" because it seems that we live in a world that exalts Extroverts, and it leaves out Introverts like me and I think that's not fair. The fact that bosses in today's world look for workers that are more extroverted than introverted may, in my opinion, also be a form of discrimination against introverts and it's not fair either.

 

[janny108]

Yes I am an Introvert and quite reserved. I don't talk a whole lot and I like being around a few people more than in a large crowd.

But I have a rich inner life and my mind is always active and I am always thinking something. I have deep thoughts, even if I don't talk or communicate them.

I was reading a book called "Jobs for Introverts" because it seems that we live in a world that exalts Extroverts, and it leaves out Introverts like me and I think that's not fair. The fact that bosses in today's world look for workers that are more extroverted than introverted may, in my opinion, also be a form of discrimination against introverts and it's not fair either.

how has this helped you in your job search?

 

[janny108]

I'm an introvert born into a family of extroverts. My family enjoys partying and socializing with friends at events while I just like to spend time on the computer doing my own things. Growing up, my mother tried to come up with all these plans and deals to limit my time on the computer and force me go socialize with people who obviously want nothing to do with me and end up hurting me in the end. It baffles them that I can go to bars, restaurants, movie theaters and events alone. They always need a friend to go with them for these occasions.

I guess to some people that is just security to always be going somewhere with someone.

 

[janny108]

ok I was at Christian fellowship group tonight and there are maybe 5 people that go and most of them are related. They are avid hikers and extroverted which makes me feel left out. Right now I work on Sat so I can't do anything with anyone anyways. I like the group but don't have that commonality along with relatives that seem to get on well.

 

[star in the sky]

Yes I am an Introvert and quite reserved. I don't talk a whole lot and I like being around a few people more than in a large crowd.

But I have a rich inner life and my mind is always active and I am always thinking something. I have deep thoughts, even if I don't talk or communicate them.

I was reading a book called "Jobs for Introverts" because it seems that we live in a world that exalts Extroverts, and it leaves out Introverts like me and I think that's not fair. The fact that bosses in today's world look for workers that are more extroverted than introverted may, in my opinion, also be a form of discrimination against introverts and it's not fair either.

yes jacqueline Deanne im aware of this disparity in the job m,arket we do live in a extroverted world I know exactly what you mean I tried to become a teacher and they showed me the same discrimination youre talking about. #differentdoesntmeanbadalways# #whyaresomanyjobscallingforextroverts#

 

[star in the sky]

Thats ashame Janny. yeh when your with a group of all extroverts and your the only introvert it can seem like youre left out.