Introvert/ Introversion Awareness

[janny108]

My wife (also an Introvert) makes a game out of it by not telling some people anything about herself unless they ask. She knows people that don't know a single thing about her because all conversation is about them. Yet they seem to be completely unaware of the imbalance.

LOL
I was talking to someone this weekend and she says she is hoarse from all the talking she did. I can relate to your wife here.

 

[janny108]

LOL they do I think like to hear themselves talk. They're confidently optimistic

#Usually the ones to wear 'I'M AWESOME dont you know it?' t-shirts#

I dont want to tease them or at belittle them though but their funny like that.

But it can be nervousness too why some people talk so much too. They are not as confident as they appear.

 

[bhsmte]

But it can be nervousness too why some people talk so much too. They are not as confident as they appear.

People who talk a lot (seem to enjoy the sound of their own voice) can also have issues with deep insecurities and they need to be in control of their environment. Talking a lot, gives you temporary control.

 

[janny108]

How many of you feel like you'd like one on one with say, people in a group, but feel there is a group mentality?

 

[star in the sky]

I think i know what you mean but can you explain a bit more

 

[janny108]

say in a group of people, like family, if someone has a different viewpoint or belief they get sort of shot down, because it's not what everyone else thinks.

 

[star in the sky]

I think if people are nerovously tense or uncomfortable they'll conform to a group mentality but as Christians we should aim to be ourselves and be comfortable in our own skin so to speak with our views that the individual person holds. Each day is a new day to live even more like Christ and walk in his holiness and righteousness we can become each day and to the point where we just don't care about what others think be it family or whatever.

 

[star in the sky]

Definitely a challenge though I find if Im threatened or intimidated more than likely intimidated ill fall in to a group mentality but yeh its something I and they'll be others too who can work on that.

 

[star in the sky]

It may sound like something you cant relate to for those who are older or adults, im young-ish but not a teen Im quite sensitive and cry easily (and being a female too) if I am threatened or yelled at or spoken to angrily. Last night was a classic example without going into too much detail basically I fear one of my parents especially their voice when theyre angry and I told my parents that I knew Person xyz was in trouble and needed help as I was looking out for their safety but they (parent) really shut me down as if to say my opinion wasn't important and I could see if I persisted they would get even more angrier so out fear of my reaction I decided to back down even though I knew I was right. Comes back to my saying even if you cry or throw up do what is right no matter how harsh the circumstances may be. Just need to get over the fact that yes I have sensitive emotions however that doesn't mean that I cant stand up for myself and do whats right. For one of the types of introverts being sensitive and emotional is perfectly normal however emotions are not to rule us.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

I am rather introverted. I have been tested as INTJ. I was a little socially awkward when I was young. I grew up interested in science, technology. Also things like history, languages, geography. I also liked Classical music from childhood on up and was made fun of for that and other things. I often carried whatever book I was reading with me and some poeple made fun of me for even that. I grew up being somewhat of a loner.

The funny thing is, my "world" has always been a big place for someone so introverted. My father was a pilot and owned an airplane. He taught me to fly and the rudiments of navigation (this was 30 or more years ago) so on trips he would let me have the controls and navigate for parts of the trip. How many teenagers get to do something like that? I grew up listening to programs and music from all over the world on shortwave radio - this was before everyone was on the Internet or had satellite TV. So I was a bit more "connected" than those who only listened to the local "top forties" station. I had odd amusements like tracking and monitoring Russian spacecraft while the more normal guys my age were into blasting space aliens in video games. I was excited about going to a museum or the library, I was that twisted!

I eventually went to college (I was kind of afraid to because my high school experience was horrible). I've had a few girlfriends but never married. You would think a woman would be thrilled to have a man who, if he is out at midnight it has something to do with astronomy and he is not getting drunk at a bar. Or whose idea of being "into sports" is to spend a day hiking rather than spending the weekend watching one game after the other on TV. Oh, well. So now I do programming and analysis type work. Anyway, enough biography. I am glad I grew up having a lot of not so mainstream experiences.

 

[janny108]

I think if people are nerovously tense or uncomfortable they'll conform to a group mentality but as Christians we should aim to be ourselves and be comfortable in our own skin so to speak with our views that the individual person holds. Each day is a new day to live even more like Christ and walk in his holiness and righteousness we can become each day and to the point where we just don't care about what others think be it family or whatever.

I certainly don't feel "pressure" to conform, but my sisters I dunno...

 

[Sonata17]

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[Sonata17]

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[Peripatetic]

I have this problem where I freeze up when people that I don't know very well talk to me. It's so frustrating. I feel awkward around strangers. I wish I could speak my mind but I seem to draw a blank. If I get to know someone for a while, say 3 or 4 months, then eventually I come out of my shell. But until I reach that point, I end up killing conversations with my quietness, lol.

When talking to new people, it often helps to ask them questions about themselves. People love to talk about themselves... with little filter for what people actually want to hear. Oddly enough, they usually come away with good opinions of your end of the conversation even though you didn't say much about yourself. I think we're better off being more careful with our words. But I find that this technique helps to take the pressure off with less familiar people.

 

[star in the sky]

Awesome thread!!! Couldn't have come at a better time. I've been feeling pretty down about being such an introvert lately. I have this problem where I freeze up when people that I don't know very well talk to me. It's so frustrating. I feel awkward around strangers. I wish I could speak my mind but I seem to draw a blank. If I get to know someone for a while, say 3 or 4 months, then eventually I come out of my shell. But until I reach that point, I end up killing conversations with my quietness, lol.

Anyway, I don't have very many friends, just one good friend that I hang out with every couple of weeks, then my best friend from high school who I talk to once in a while. I suck at making friends. Any advice?

Sweet heart by the way Im a chick in my mid to late twenties dont ever apologize for being a God wired introvert yeh at times it gets me down but one of the greatest advice God ever gave by a Christian was dont ever let any one call you shy. Speak when you know you should but fear kinda wants to have tgdat cat got your tongue effect , there are two types of main introverts and Im the quietest of all take the tips you find on this thread my heart went out and goes out to you you are so not a problem. As a Melancholy introvert I think to myself I would never trade the way God our father made me my deeply emotional sensitive self because I wouldnt appreciate the dramatic that moves me nor arts or music funnily enough im getting getting more extroverted friends who love hanging with me because im more confident yet not compromising my quietly confident person. Never apologise let God heal you too - your heart. He doesnt want hus beautiful daughter feeling unloved or comparing herself because she feels unappreciated. private message me and we can skype if you want. You dont suck at making friends either youre an introvert so yeh your like me and others we dont make alot of friends because were careful about who we choose as friends . psst youve got a skype/ online friend already

 

[star in the sky]

When talking to new people, it often helps to ask them questions about themselves. People love to talk about themselves... with little filter for what people actually want to hear. Oddly enough, they usually come away with good opinions of your end of the conversation even though you didn't say much about yourself. I think we're better off being more careful with our words. But I find that this technique helps to take the pressure off with less familiar people.

It does take the pressure off with less familiar people good point.

 

[Sonata17]

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[Peripatetic]

I'm usually trying to come up with a reply to what they said, over-analyzing or over-thinking everything, lol.

I can certainly relate to that! For me, it usually goes something like this: have conversation, analyze conversation, cringe at some weak response by me, and finally... come up with the perfect, clever response when it's too late.

 

[Sonata17]

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[Peripatetic]

Oh man, that's EXACTLY how I am!! I wish I could come up with more well thought out, clever things to say than some of the things that come out of my mouth.

I'm guessing that you have more to offer in real conversations though. It may not always be clever one-liners, but I'm sure a select few people really appreciate your perspectives and opinions that ARE thought-out.