Introductions

[caitlincares]

Tell me about yourself in regard to your relationship.
Just trying to get to know the folks in this forum.

I am also going to be adding some polls in the same vein.


Myself...

In June I broke of my engagement to a gentleman I had known for 20 years and had dating mostly for 15 years.

His relationship with our Lord became very distant.
I broke it off because he was not the Godly man I deserved.
It was not an easy decision BUT a necessary step that I made.

Our relationship was a long distance one living a few states apart.
We managed to see each other on occasion but was mainly phone calls.
He did not like to write.



My thoughts on relationships:

I have only held hands and minimal kissing.
Anything else can lead you were you should not be going.
This is ALL I have ever done.
(This is from a virgin at 40.)

A pre-marriage relationship should not be about pleasing each other sexually.
It should be about getting to know it each other better.
Learning to communicate. Seeing how you relate to each other and the world.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Wow caitlin!!

Wow a great story! I am so glad that you were able to get out of that relationship, and yes you DO deserve a Godly man. Every Godly woman does

It must have been very hard, but it sounds like you did the right thing. You are so wise, and I am so happy to have you around the couples forum. I think you are going to be full of great advice! Look... you already have
Your integrity is inspiring!!

On that note here is a little bit about me.

I grew up in the Atlantic provinces in Canada (New brunswick for those of you who have no clue what I am talking about)
and I just moved out to British Columbia in August to start Bible college.

The best relationship advice I ever got was from my mom. She told me simply that a relationship is a 2 way street, its about give and take... not just take and take. Its so simple but it has stuck with me since she told me (waaaaaaay back in High school after having my heart broken lol....)

 

[invisiblebabe]

Tell me about yourself in regard to your relationship.
Just trying to get to know the folks in this forum.

Hi, Caitlin!

In June I broke of my engagement to a gentleman I had known for 20 years and had dating mostly for 15 years.

Sorry to hear that God has something better in mind for you though, and He is definitely using you on this forum.

If I may ask, why the incredibly long courtship period?

I have only held hands and minimal kissing.
Anything else can lead you were you should not be going.
This is ALL I have ever done.
(This is from a virgin at 40.)

I commend you for being so committed to purity

20 and never been kissed here... saving it for engagement (ex fiance, which broke off January 30 this year, and I were saving it for the altar...his conviction).

Question for ya... how significant do you think a first kiss is/should be? I definitely think it should be saved for an expression of love and commitment....

A pre-marriage relationship should not be about pleasing each other sexually.
It should be about getting to know it each other better.
Learning to communicate. Seeing how you relate to each other and the world.[/color]

As for any relationship advice I have... don't read God's will into things (IE: thinking he has to be the one you'll marry 'cause you guys get along so well and God brought you together, etc...). God sometimes brings a guy and girl together for purposes other than ultimately culminating in marriage.

Also, don't set your heart on someone who does not reciprocate your actions.
Give it one, two, three chances... but after that, forget him for good.

 

[caitlincares]

If I may ask, why the incredibly long courtship period?

We were engaged twice.
I broke it off the first time because he really was not ready for marriage.
And I dated someone else for awhile.
Then we got back together.

He had grown up some and was continuing to do so.
The second time around he was able to say "We" which he never said the first time around.

Part of the issue was living in different states.
He was finally getting ready to move closer.
And that was only when he realized he was losing me again.

Question for ya... how significant do you think a first kiss is/should be? I definitely think it should be saved for an expression of love and commitment....

I believe there was a thread about this at one time.
Your very first kiss is likely to be awkward regardless of who it is with.

My ex and I first kissed when we were just barely dating in college.
It meant more to me later when we were in a committed relationship.

As for any relationship advice I have... don't read God's will into things (IE: thinking he has to be the one you'll marry 'cause you guys get along so well and God brought you together, etc...). God sometimes brings a guy and girl together for purposes other than ultimately culminating in marriage.

I agree. Sometimes a friendship can turn into more.
And sometimes a person YOU think would be an ideal mate ends up being your best friend.

I have a couple of great guy friends which at one time I had envisioned married to.
I truly value my friends and am SO glad I was able to look beyond my desires.

Also, don't set your heart on someone who does not reciprocate your actions.
Give it one, two, three chances... but after that, forget him for good.

Very wise.

 

[Living4Him03]

Well, I broke up with someone this past July...I dated him (long distance) for about a year, then he finally was able to move to a city closer to mine, but that's when things went downhill. He wanted to do things with me sexually I would not compromise on, no matter how much I loved him and wanted to do those things with him.

I've never been engaged and the only semi-serious relationship I ever had was with my most recent ex. Still think about him sometimes, but I know it wasn't meant to be and I'm so glad the Lord took me out of that relationship!

Guys seem to be repelled by me as of late. I need to find one that actually wants a serious relationship or sees potential for one with me, but I haven't met one yet. Recently, a friend of mine from about a year and a half ago got back in touch with me, and he seemed interested in at least developing a friendship and seeing where God leads, but he just recently broke up with someone as well, except I think he still wants to be with her, although he doesn't think it's the right timing. I can't compete with her so I won't try.

I guess that's about it.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I agree. Sometimes a friendship can turn into more.
And sometimes a person YOU think would be an ideal mate ends up being your best friend.

Agreed Question though: What would you say that "something" is, that has to be there with a mate, that takes a relationship from friends to more? I wouldn't say physical attraction alone is enough...

I have a couple of great guy friends which at one time I had envisioned married to.
I truly value my friends and am SO glad I was able to look beyond my desires.
[/QUOTE]
Been there as well

 

[flounder7786]

hehe...wow...uuum, a little about my relationship...i am in love with Joshua Keehan...and i cant wait to be his wife. We've only been dating for a year and 2 months, but i know he is the one. I was his first kiss...and girlfriend...yet...he was not mine...i wish that i could say he was...but my past has been rocky...and especially in the dating category. he loves me with a pure love though...and knows what i have done in the past was my past and not my present...and he knows that God has forgiven me...so so does he. i know...some of you must be thinking...how young to feel soo deeply in love...but i do love him, and i honestly dont think it is a matter of age...everyone feels love...We both are honoring to God...and we go to church together, pray together, and do bible studies together...it is amazing. He, though, has to go to MI every three monts, for school...but its okay, i mean, its tough, and the LDR thing really can stink at times, but God has given me peace in my heart knowing that it will be okay...and even though we have to wait longer than we would like to get married, it is okay...because then he will be graduated...and his, and my family will feel a little better about our wedding...hehe...so yeah...it is an amazing relationship we have...and i cannot wait to see what God has planned for us...and our lives...i cannot wait to see what growth in Him we will have!!!