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Thanks. I am not sure how safe this forum is for me. Somebody mentioned a group name out in public when I asked him not to so I am going to hold off on revealing anymore personal information in public until I get that message deleted. I would happy to talk in private message.
Hello everyone, I divorced my husband in August 2006. We attend the same parish, and we are raising a 7 year old daughter together, by my choice. I hate him but I have to put up with him. I find it very hard as an Eastern Orthodox convert to have made the choice to divorce, and I don't find a whole lot of support, which is one reason why I decided to become anonymous on the internet after 2 years of getting beat up for writing in my name.
I'm so sorry that you have been "beat up" after making the choice to divorce. My guess, just by the fact that you wrote a crying emote, is that it was not an easy choice and that it was done after a lot of sorrow and thought on your part. Glad you found us!Hi, my church hasn't turned against me, but I feel out of place in a church that values marriage and does not acknowledge divorce, and I am really hurting. But as you said, I love my church.LookBeautiful,
I hope you remember--I said "hi" to you on your first thread. Welcome to CF!
Here's the way I see it -- on this forum and particularly in this Divorced or Separated area. We have all been affected by a divorce or separation here, and MOST/MANY of us did not want the divorce or separation! Most/many of us knew that God wanted us to honor our vows and so a lot of us "toughed it out" while our spouses were abusive or had affairs. We poured our hearts out to God to PLEASE heal our marriages and families, and for His own good reasons, God chose to teach us through pain and suffering--the trial of divorce.
It's not our job here to judge. Some may think that I was wrong to ever divorce, or ever remarry again. I do not. I have searched the Bible and searched my soul fearlessly, and my first husband was not a believer and an abusive serial cheater who left me. But...the fact is that after being separated for years he never filed the papers, and after years, eventually I did. I put into the U.S. legal system what had been the fact for years--our marriage was done.
Am I perfect. Nope!! Are you? Nope! I'm sure you could tell us a list a mile long of the things you did wrong or wish you did differently. I wish I had valued myself more than to allow my first husband to abuse me. I wish I had valued him more than to allow him to cheat on me and not suffer a consequence. But I didn't. I chose a non-believer, I made huge mistakes, I paid the price for my disobedience...but I also learned and grew close to the Lord. I'm not the woman I was back then--I am a more mature, spiritually wise woman and I am different. And I would be willing to bet you are too.
I know we will have our differences. I'm not eastern orthodox and so may not understand some of the intricacies of your denomination. But I do understand the deep pain of going through a divorce and then having the church you love turn against you...just when you need them! I do also understand that in God's eyes, sin is sin, and since we have ALL sinned, none of us is worthy--so my job here on earth is not to judge which sin is "worse" (pfft!) but to demonstrate to you the unconditional love of God and show you by my actions that His love for you is unending.
Welcome!
~FaithfulWife
