- Jun 2, 2017
- 178
- 141
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Constitution
God be with you all. I joined this forum, because I was seeking advice about my marriage to my amazing wife. We have known each other for 9 years, and have been married almost 6 (10/29/11). I was born-again in September 2008 while she was already saved for a couple years prior. A couple of months after my salvation, I was exposed to Reformed Theology. From that point on I dove into studying it, and became an avid defender of the 5 Solas, and TULIP. However, my wife was raised Pentecostal, and we'd always be at odds. Unfortunately, while outside of theology, we were great together, I didn't see the effects of what I had been putting her through.
We'd always get into theological arguments, because I wanted to grow as a man in Christ, and learn how to best lead my home. But in doing so, I caused my wife to feel abandoned and left behind in my walk. The fateful day finally came in November 2016 when she finally said, "I want to separate." My world shattered. Since then I have been devoted to restoring my marriage. I've only been settling within myself with the fundamentals of the Gospel instead of aligning to any particular denomination, because I saw what it did to me. I purchased 'The Love Dare' and had been using it as a guide until I thought I saw that my wife and I were on the mend, but I was wrong.
I found out that she had an emotional affair with a coworker, and has told me that she had "strong feelings" for him. Their affair started in October 2016. She was confiding in our close Christian circle, but has since stopped talking with them since I believe March 2017, because she knows that they'll tell her to work on her marriage, and seek to restore it. She only confides in other women from her job who may have particular walks of faith, but they are each going through similar situations, and I fear that they may be advising each other to do what makes you happy instead of doing what honors God.
I was doing well with giving my wife space, because she's an introvert while I'm an extrovert. However, since a month and a half ago while I thought we were getting better she still said that she thought we should separate. I've been an emotional roller coaster since then which never looks safe to a spouse. I read her journal a couple of times, which exposed me to seeing how she's fantasized about having a life with this other man which only added to my anxiety. I've since not read her journal, and don't intend to. I told her recently that I've seen how my emotionalism has come from a place of trying to play God, because I've been asking her about us too often, and which has made her feel confined and as if I have not been listening to her need for space. I apologized, told her that she didn't deserve that and that I was being impatient. I intend not to question her about us, but simply focus on my walk with Christ and be as steadfast as possible while God deals with the both of us.
I only want to ask for your prayers and any Godly advise you may have will be well received. Thank you!
We'd always get into theological arguments, because I wanted to grow as a man in Christ, and learn how to best lead my home. But in doing so, I caused my wife to feel abandoned and left behind in my walk. The fateful day finally came in November 2016 when she finally said, "I want to separate." My world shattered. Since then I have been devoted to restoring my marriage. I've only been settling within myself with the fundamentals of the Gospel instead of aligning to any particular denomination, because I saw what it did to me. I purchased 'The Love Dare' and had been using it as a guide until I thought I saw that my wife and I were on the mend, but I was wrong.
I found out that she had an emotional affair with a coworker, and has told me that she had "strong feelings" for him. Their affair started in October 2016. She was confiding in our close Christian circle, but has since stopped talking with them since I believe March 2017, because she knows that they'll tell her to work on her marriage, and seek to restore it. She only confides in other women from her job who may have particular walks of faith, but they are each going through similar situations, and I fear that they may be advising each other to do what makes you happy instead of doing what honors God.
I was doing well with giving my wife space, because she's an introvert while I'm an extrovert. However, since a month and a half ago while I thought we were getting better she still said that she thought we should separate. I've been an emotional roller coaster since then which never looks safe to a spouse. I read her journal a couple of times, which exposed me to seeing how she's fantasized about having a life with this other man which only added to my anxiety. I've since not read her journal, and don't intend to. I told her recently that I've seen how my emotionalism has come from a place of trying to play God, because I've been asking her about us too often, and which has made her feel confined and as if I have not been listening to her need for space. I apologized, told her that she didn't deserve that and that I was being impatient. I intend not to question her about us, but simply focus on my walk with Christ and be as steadfast as possible while God deals with the both of us.
I only want to ask for your prayers and any Godly advise you may have will be well received. Thank you!
