Introduce yourselves!

[adamjai]

Hello everyone! I thought it would be nice for everyone to introduce ourselves so that we could get to know everyone better and get a better idea of where everyone was coming from.

As for me, I've been married for seven years to a wonderful husband and was saved about six and half years ago. We currently have seven kitties and a rabbit, and love small town life. We attend a small Southern Baptist church and I feel like I am the only woman of child-bearing age without children in my whole church!

While we are currently child-free, my husband and I would like to adopt and older child/ren early next year, and I know I will encounter all kinds of intrusive and insensitive questions while going down that path. I'm happy to know I have a place to go for help when that comes up!

 

[Epoh99]

Hi adamjai, and welcome to CF. I've been a member for awhile but rarely post. However, since this new sub-forum arrived I've been much more interested in this site.

I've been married for 6 years and 10 months. No pets, attend a large Baptist church--around 300 people(for me it's large, I grew up at a church with 75 members), work full-time, love to read, active in children's min. at my church, love music (playing instruments and listening to music), and got saved when I was 3 years old.

We don't want kids ever, but I did ask my husband the other day, "If the Lord changes our minds years down the road, would you want to adopt?" (He's "snipped" so that would be our only option if we wanted kids.) He said, possibly. That's how I feel to. I don't see it ever happening but if for some reason the Lord lays it on our hearts to have children we would just adopt.

 

[Cyberdyne1]

My wife and I have been together for 30 years, married 28 years this October. I was snipped May 7th 1982...We have 3 toy poodles and 4 parrots. (Yes the parrots talk, laugh, whistle, etc, etc. I laugh when my African grey "Piglet" will say "What the hell is going on here").I am a Computer Guru working 28 years in many places on many platforms. I have 7 computers at home in a room designed expecially for me. It has 20 power plugs on the wall, Cat 5 wiring and it has isolated power, separate from the rest of the house.It rocks...My wife is the best, she can do anything. She just put three coats of paint on my computer room walls and then installed Hardwood for me. She can do plumbing, replace sinks, pull toilets, etc. She installed slate backsplash in our kitchen and in our last house she installed ceramic tiles in the living room and dining room and then did all the grout and baseboards, etc.When she was 18 years old, she made me the entire suit I got married to her in...Oh and yep we don't like kids much. Screaching little brats most of the time... Sorry...

 

[Cyberdyne1]

While we are currently child-free, my husband and I would like to adopt and older child/ren early next year, and I know I will encounter all kinds of intrusive and insensitive questions while going down that path. I'm happy to know I have a place to go for help when that comes up!

Aren't some people such busy bodies? You could have all kinds of fun with this though. When people ask why you have to adopt you could tell them your husband doesn't want to pass on all those "wierd physical appendages" he grew after the "tests" performed on him in the army...LOL

 

[adamjai]

When people ask why you have to adopt you could tell them your husband doesn't want to pass on all those "wierd physical appendages" he grew after the "tests" performed on him in the army...LOL

That's a good one Cyberdyne! I have a lot in common with your wife. My husband never leaned much about home inprovement, so I generally do the bulk of that kind of thing.

We don't want kids ever, but I did ask my husband the other day, "If the Lord changes our minds years down the road, would you want to adopt?" (He's "snipped" so that would be our only option if we wanted kids.) He said, possibly. That's how I feel to. I don't see it ever happening but if for some reason the Lord lays it on our hearts to have children we would just adopt.

I think my husband feels the same as yours. He's open to it, but when I brought it up he said he could do the adoption thing, and to get back to him in six months. I have a feeling in six months he'll say the same. I would like to adopt, but if we never have kids I'll still be happy.

 

[Epoh99]

I would like to adopt, but if we never have kids I'll still be happy.

Good for you! I think that's one of the things people can't comprehend; I am happy, very happy, without kids and I don't need a child to "complete" me.

 

[snoochface]

Howdy!

My husband and I have been married for 6 1/2 years, and I've been a Christian for just over two years (he became a Christian as a teenager and was instrumental in leading me to Jesus).

We have an adorable puppy (see avatar ) and three years ago I lost my first baby, a black lab mix I got from the pound when she was 8 weeks old (see CF pic ). Those are the kinds of babies we enjoy.

My husband has two grown daughters from a previous marriage who I love very much. Their mom was killed by a stalker when they were young, so I think they enjoy having... well, not a mom exactly, but a mother-figure at least. I enjoy them a great deal when we get together, but they both live in other parts of the country so it's not often we get to see them.

I'm not great with little kids. I don't have the patience for them. I enjoy older kids, like my 7, 10, and 12 year old nieces and nephew. Once they are pretty much self-sufficient and can be spoken to in a more adult way, I have a lot of fun with them. I'm more the kind of person who wants to get down on the floor and play, rather than discipline and rear kids.

We're very happy enjoying each other as a couple without the added responsibility of children. Before we got married, I thought I might want to have a child. My husband, who was fixed after his second daughter was born, was willing to have it reversed if I felt strongly that I wanted a child. That was really all I needed - knowing the option was there. I'm so glad we didn't, though, because it really was just a phase for me. I had a hysterectomy in February for medical reasons, and I'm extremely happy with the way things are.

 

[HeyHomie]

Married over 9 years. My wife and I were both Christians when we got married, and still are. We met in college. We attend a large-ish (about 1000 people) Restoration Movement church.

We always thought we wanted kids, until after four years of being off the pill we were told that we couldn't have them. It was then that we realized that we were quite happy without them.

My wife is a pre-school teacher and gets her fill of children every day. I'm a social worker and I help out in children's ministry at my church. My favorite time of year is when I am the dorm dad for four days at 3rd- & 4th-graders church camp.

 

[Catholic Wife]

Hi everyone

My husband and I have been married only 4 months, and met at work 4 years ago. We are both Christians (both Catholic, too).

We just found out that because of my age and other fertility issues, my doctor has given me a less than 10% chance of conceiving. It hurts when people remind us that we need to "get on the ball" having children because we "aren't getting any younger". Little do they realize how insensitive their remarks are. The worst part for us is that we both wanted children (we may someday consider adoption -- maybe).

But, we are trying to remind ourselves that being childfree may be a blessing in disguise. Plus, it's not like we don't have children in our lives. I mean, we have 2 nieces, 2 nephews (and one dog) to spoil.

 

[Epoh99]

Hi everyone

It hurts when people remind us that we need to "get on the ball" having children because we "aren't getting any younger". Little do they realize how insensitive their remarks are. The worst part for us is that we both wanted children ...

But, we are trying to remind ourselves that being childfree may be a blessing in disguise. Plus, it's not like we don't have children in our lives...

PerkyCurlz
Sorry to hear that although you want children you may not be able to have them. But, as you know, God knows more and can do more than the doctors so if He wants you to have biological children, you will!

People can be sooo insensitive. I think that almost every time someone says to me, "When are you going to have kids?" Luckily we don't want kids but I always think how hurtful it would be to constantly be asked that if we really did want kids but couldn't have them.

I like your attitude and will be praying that if you are to not have children that you will find, as others on here have, that, as you said, it may be a blessing in disguise.

God bless!

 

[Cyberdyne1]

People can be sooo insensitive. I think that almost every time someone says to me, "When are you going to have kids?" Luckily we don't want kids but I always think how hurtful it would be to constantly be asked that if we really did want kids but couldn't have them.

I think it's not so much as being insensitive but rather they are just plain stupid...

Whay makes anyone think they have the right to ask me something so personal like "When will you have kids?" Would they walk up to me and ask "When are you going to lose weight?" or "When are you going to take a bath?"

Quite simply it is nobody's business...

Makes me think of 2 Thessalonians Chapter 3

11 For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.

 

[invisiblebabe]

Hey I'm Kayli My husband and I have been married for a year, as of Thursday.

No kids for me in the future, too many medical conditions would make it risky. I'm happy to be childfree though. I always say I'd gladly give any fertility I'd have to any respectable lady who wants it! I wonder if God would be able to do something like that... why not, right?

What annoys me is when people think that just because my medical conditions aren't directly related to the reproductive system, somehow getting pregnant would be a great thing for me. Umm, no. The whole body is a system, made of various subsystems that can profoundly affect each other.

Anyway, enough rambling. See ya around!

 

[indra_fanatic]

Hey everyone,

I'm probably the only single Childfree in this section, but oh well! I feel extremely strongly about not having bio kids--less so about adoption. I know that I will be vasectomized prior to my marriage, if God chooses to bless me with one.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Hi.

My husband and I have been very happily married for almost two years. We're open to the possibility of having children, but I've been told by a specialist that I will likely not conceive without using fertility drugs, and my husband and I don't want children badly enough to go to that length to make it happen. We're really very content as things are. We're both intellectual, introverted, sensitive types who value our peace and quiet and enjoy a calm lifestyle. A child would probably be bored and understimulated in our home.

I've never been one to yearn for children. I never played with dolls when I was a child. I didn't really play much at all when I was a child, and wouldn't know how to play with a child now. I was always reading or painting when I was a kid, rather than playing. It's not that I didn't know how to have fun, it's just that I found different things fun from most other kids. The things I found fun were usually quiet, solitary, creative activities.

I don't go mushy inside when I see a baby. I don't dislike children; I'm just not drawn to them in any way. My mom made me get babysitting jobs when I was a teenager, and I didn't enjoy it at all. People say it's different when it's your own child, and maybe it would be. I don't know. But I doubt that my fundamental personality would change just because I had a child. And my personality and kids don't seem to mix well.

I think it's possible that God made me infertile because He knows that I'm not cut out to be a mom. And I'm completely okay with that.

But if I do get pregnant, fine. I'll deal with it. I am a very loving person, and would love my child with everything in me, if God chose to give me one. But if I never get pregnant, I'll be fine with that too, and actually quite relieved. I certainly don't feel that anything is missing. Life is good, and we are blessed.

 

[Poohbear246]

Hi, I had no idea this forum had actually been instituted until today. Dh I have been married for almost 5 years now. Neither of us are really very comfortable around children, and harbor no desire to have any. I've been self-concious about feeling like this, and have frequently answered queries by citing possible infertility. (Which may very well be true -- the doctors always said that I might be infertile but there was no way of knowing till I tried.)

If I admit that I am not a fan of kids, the person I am speaking too will exclaim, horrified: "How can you *not* like children???" Or "But you'll feel differently when it's your own."

Dh is much less apologetic than I am and just makes me laugh to tears about it.

If I got pregnant, I would accept that it was meant to be, but I am not actively pursuing it.

 

[Cyberdyne1]

If I admit that I am not a fan of kids, the person I am speaking too will exclaim, horrified: "How can you *not* like children???"

I tell them "It's easy after spending 5 minutes around your kids"...

Or "But you'll feel differently when it's your own."

I say "How do you know? You don't know anything about how I really feel or think"...

 

[Poohbear246]

I tell them "It's easy after spending 5 minutes around your kids"...

*giggle* Yeah. But that conflict will always come up when a family member asks. I have a huge extended family, with a lot of kids. So if I'm honest and cite being uncomfortable, they'll retort: "What you don't like MY kids?" Well, yeah they're my cousins, of course I love them. And it gets hairy because you never know whether they're joking or not. So I usually just deflect the question.

I say "How do you know? You don't know anything about how I really feel or think"...

Not everyone feels the same way, as impossible as it may seem. Lol. Hey, I don't hear like you either, this is something else that is different about me too.

Thanks for letting me vent. This is nice, being able to be honest, ya know?

 

[wifeindespair]

Hi Everyone!

My name is Rosealia and my husband is Robert. We have been married for almost 7 and half years now. And boy what a roller coaster ride! LOL

We have had our share of ups and downs but I wouldn't trade any of it or him for anything or anyone else. I love my husband dearly. We were married young. He was 20 and I was 19.

We don't have any children, yet. We just closed on our first home this morning and we are so excited! I'm sure children will come along though. I've always said that I would like to have a child before I'm 30 though. But we'll see.

My husband has dealt with a little depression here and there, but we are working through that, and I see a great improvement with him.

Hope I haven't bored anyone! God bless.

 

[snoochface]

Hey congrats on the new house - how exciting!

 

[KatieKaboom]

Howdy, Y'all! I'm Katie and my husband and I have been married for 6years now. (WoW! has it been that long?) We both come from large families. His parents had 6 kids and my family is mixed with 6 kids. We have kicked the idea around about adopting, and not long ago he was all for it. But, he has changed his mind and wants kinds of his own. Sigh, He is a great guy and I would do anything for him, so wish us happy hunting (so to speak).