Interpersonal Conflict

[gworden]

Please let me know if there is a more appropriate forum for this post.

In addition to looking for advice and resources for congregations in crisis and renewal, I’m also looking for help managing interpersonal conflicts in a church setting. It’s naturally more complicated and sensitive in a church than it is in business. Any advice would be helpful.

 

[Pop D.]

I know it can be difficult, but try to remember to deal with everyone with kindness and patience as best you can. Sorry, that's all I can think of right now.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

It's good to listen with patience and to not show any partiality. Remember that there are always 2 sides to every story and everyone needs to be heard. Do not depend on your own wisdom. Start and end each meeting to settle conflicts with prayer. After the participants have left, take time to pray and deliberate with God about the situations and see what He prayerfully leads you to. It's best to take a little bit of time before you give a reaction than to jump to conclusion/reaction because it may cause lasting hurt. Unless someone is in immediate danger and then do act swiftly to intervene. Read Proverbs and James for great wisdom in leadership. As long as you allow God to direct you, you will be fine in His hands. Pray for the congregants diligently because the thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Satan hates unity, but God loves unity and peace. Through diligent prayer, God will bring about the work that can't be done by your own efforts in the natural. You will find that the more diligently you pray for the congregation, the more you will see better results. Less prayer will mean more heavy and burdensome work for you, so do take the time to pray carefully over the people you are ministering to. When they see and feel your heart for them, they will flock to you. Everyone needs someone who cares about them. There are too few caring pastors out there. God bless you in your work.

 

[gworden]

I know it can be difficult, but try to remember to deal with everyone with kindness and patience as best you can. Sorry, that's all I can think of right now.

Are you -- or anyone else -- familiar with behavioral covenants? Are they effective?

 

[Pop D.]

Are you -- or anyone else -- familiar with behavioral covenants? Are they effective?

Don't have any experience with them, sorry.