Immorality

[athrun5]

Not long after I was 16 I started masturbating, I wasn't Christian so it was a no biggy sin to me but after 2012 when I got obsessed with a girl I shouldn't have and lusted after her body bad. It became very very bad and then one day I deleted everything I had of her and stopped. I wanted to stop and I did, I think the Holy Spirit helped with that. Then about 2-3 months later I broke down and repented and confessed my sins to God and to my mother because I was a shamed of it and the person I hurt the most in my opinion had to know even though they already knew.

My whole reason for saying all the above is because I am having trouble putting my masturbation into the ground and walking away for good. I feel as if its a choice and I am choosing wrong on purpose, though on other times it really cause me pain and others it feels over whelming. I have always thought I surrendered to God since I have changed alot in my life. However masturbation is like a haunting ghost that won't go away. I read the bible almost everyday(I try for everyday and 3-5 chapters or more). I try to pray everyday but somedays I just feel so dry, like I don't know what to say.

To be honest Masturbation is effecting me alot more then just sexually but its effecting me mentally and frankly you don't want to know the details. I want to stop and I want it to end but the longest I have ever gone without it was 9 days (during my obsession period) 6 days on my second try and 5 days a few other tries. All others are 3 days , I have tried alot of times to quit. I feel as if I am trying every day.

 

[aiki]

Sexual fantasizing about someone who is not your spouse is sin and masturbating to such fantasies is also sin. However, masturbating without such fantasies is not sin - at all. You put yourself in unnecessary turmoil trying to behave as though your body does not have the sexual/hormonal cycle that it does by abstaining unnaturally from sexual release. Not only can you get psychology out-of-whack by not masturbating, but you increase the power of sexual temptation by doing so, and you increase the likelihood of the development of things like prostatitis and prostate cancer. Now, some people make masturbating mainly a matter of gratification and become addicted to the act. This is sin also. Masturbating out of boredom, or because one has become a slave to the act is morally wrong. From what I understand of the biology of male sexuality, masturbating once or twice a week is sufficient. Two or three times a day is inordinate and, I believe, indicative of an addiction to masturbating, which, as I said, is sinful.

Selah.

 

[athrun5]

Tell me what I don't know I understand what sin is and what forms it takes. However as I said I want to stop and if I need a sexual release my body will do it on its on in forms of wet dreams as it did in the past. However its hard to get to that point.

 

[Autumnleaf]

I think Saint Paul said a man should get married if lust is an issue for him. Or something like that.

 

[athrun5]

True, however you can't just get married.

 

[Inkachu]

Not long after I was 16 I started masturbating, I wasn't Christian so it was a no biggy sin to me but after 2012 when I got obsessed with a girl I shouldn't have and lusted after her body bad. It became very very bad and then one day I deleted everything I had of her and stopped. I wanted to stop and I did, I think the Holy Spirit helped with that. Then about 2-3 months later I broke down and repented and confessed my sins to God and to my mother because I was a shamed of it and the person I hurt the most in my opinion had to know even though they already knew.

My whole reason for saying all the above is because I am having trouble putting my masturbation into the ground and walking away for good. I feel as if its a choice and I am choosing wrong on purpose, though on other times it really cause me pain and others it feels over whelming. I have always thought I surrendered to God since I have changed alot in my life. However masturbation is like a haunting ghost that won't go away. I read the bible almost everyday(I try for everyday and 3-5 chapters or more). I try to pray everyday but somedays I just feel so dry, like I don't know what to say.

To be honest Masturbation is effecting me alot more then just sexually but its effecting me mentally and frankly you don't want to know the details. I want to stop and I want it to end but the longest I have ever gone without it was 9 days (during my obsession period) 6 days on my second try and 5 days a few other tries. All others are 3 days , I have tried alot of times to quit. I feel as if I am trying every day.

You may want to have this moved to a more private area of the site. Not sure if you could post in the men's area if you're under 18, but a Moderator could answer that.

Are you in church? Is there a trusted MALE pastor or deacon that you feel you might be able to talk to about this? There IS hope for you. Don't give up.

 

[athrun5]

I did go to church but now I just focus online since there is no one around here I can trust. I am a son of a divorced mother and everyone here condemns her for that and me for being raised by her. So there isn't anyone, I am 22 turning 23 in 2 months. I don't really care for privacy since no one knows who I am so its not like it matters.

As for going to male section, I saw a link in a thread about someone talking about this thing and I clicked it which was suppose to bring me to the male section and it said I didn't have permission to go there so I just posted in the same area.

 

[aiki]

If you are determined never to touch again, then you will need to follow the same course that you would to deal with any sinful habit that is in your life.

1. Confession of sin. (1Jn. 1:9)
2. Repentance from sin. (2Cor. 7:10, 11)
3. Yield to God (moment by moment). (Ro. 6:12, 13; Ja. 4:6, 7)
4. Reckon yourself dead unto sin (moment by moment). (Ro. 6:1-11)
5. Abide in Christ (moment by moment) (John 15:1-5)

Selah.

 

[athrun5]

I will do my best, I just kinda wish there was someone I could talk to about this or talk to in general near me but there isn't, so I got to do what I can. Thanks for your responses.

 

[Gottservant]

It is possible to touch and enjoy it, and not lust or waste seed.

Otherwise you will just burn out and have no choice but to go cold turkey.

 

[Inkachu]

Gott, to him it's not OK, so encouraging him to continue a behavior that his conscience is telling him is wrong, is not helpful.

 

[Inkachu]

Athrun5, I would definitely encourage you to head over the Men's area, I know they have sections for sexual addictions, including masturbation. I hope you could at least find some genuine Christian men there who could be a listening ear, a prayer partner, and an accountability friend.

Since you're almost 23 years old, are you living on your own? Do you have other family or friends, besides your mom?

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

Not long after I was 16 I started masturbating, I wasn't Christian so it was a no biggy sin to me but after 2012 when I got obsessed with a girl I shouldn't have and lusted after her body bad. It became very very bad and then one day I deleted everything I had of her and stopped. I wanted to stop and I did, I think the Holy Spirit helped with that. Then about 2-3 months later I broke down and repented and confessed my sins to God and to my mother because I was a shamed of it and the person I hurt the most in my opinion had to know even though they already knew.

My whole reason for saying all the above is because I am having trouble putting my masturbation into the ground and walking away for good. I feel as if its a choice and I am choosing wrong on purpose, though on other times it really cause me pain and others it feels over whelming. I have always thought I surrendered to God since I have changed alot in my life. However masturbation is like a haunting ghost that won't go away. I read the bible almost everyday(I try for everyday and 3-5 chapters or more). I try to pray everyday but somedays I just feel so dry, like I don't know what to say.

To be honest Masturbation is effecting me alot more then just sexually but its effecting me mentally and frankly you don't want to know the details. I want to stop and I want it to end but the longest I have ever gone without it was 9 days (during my obsession period) 6 days on my second try and 5 days a few other tries. All others are 3 days , I have tried alot of times to quit. I feel as if I am trying every day.

A. Get involved, asap, into a male moral accountability group that has great trust and honesty and openness. If there isn't one for you, then look up Celibrate Recovery which is a nationwide Ministry for addictions and are held in virtually every major city at a church. Its like a Christian 12 step program with small group breakouts. People get victory from going to these.

B. Re-focus your attention and thoughts . Surround yourself with much more biblical sources for reading and listening .... and develop your relationship with God more . When a lustful thought comes to mind, immediately replace it with a Godly thought of some kind -- cite scripture for instance.

C. Realize that doing this behavior compulsively, often leads to viewing women as nothing but a convenient using whether thru lust or going further . God wants us to view women as valueable dignified fellow Human Beings made in his image ...and not for a temporary thrill sexually .

D. Get a personal book on this struggle. www.newlife.com has perfect resources for this addiction and they also put on live seminars around the nation . They are Christian Pscyhologists and also have a call-in radio program in many U.S. Cities.

E. Constantly surrender to God , yield to the H.S., stay off of any path that flirts with sexual immorality such as filthy movies, porn, pictures, or Howard Stern kind of Celebrity personas which Satan uses to harm Christians who want to walk the narrow moral path in life for Gods glory.

 

[aiki]

I will do my best,

Well, this may come as a surprise to you, but your best will never be good enough and God does not intend that your best should be necessary to the work He does in you. When Jesus was speaking to his disciples, he told them, "For without me you can do nothing." (Jn. 15:5) "Nothing" is a pretty strong term. Did he really mean nothing, or was he just being a bit hyperbolic? I think Jesus meant exactly what he said. In declaring, "Without me you can do nothing," Jesus was pointing to the fact that he is both our Creator (Jn. 1:1-10), and the sole source of our spiritual life and power. Our physical being is entirely due to God's creative power and will, and our spiritual life is also utterly dependent upon Him. This is why God again and again in His Word takes responsibility for our spiritual life and growth.

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
23 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
24He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.

Philippians 1:6
6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

Philippians 2:13
13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.

2 Corinthians 3:18
18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

Jude 1:24-25
24 Now unto him who is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
25 To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

When people start trying their best, it is often at the expense of "letting go and letting God." The truth is, we can only "work out" what God has first "worked in." It is human instinct to try in our own strength to do what God has commanded us to do, but this always inevitably falls short. Our capacity to continue to be obedient reaches its limit pretty quickly when we are not depending entirely upon God to give us what we need to be who He wants us to be. God will let us meet with humiliating failure again and again until we finally concede to the truth that only He can reproduce the character of Christ in us. This is what Paul was talking about when he spoke of being strong when he was weak. (2Cor. 12:8-10) His weakness was an opportunity for God to step in and do for Paul what Paul could not do for himself. And this is what God intends to do for every Christian believer.

I just kinda wish there was someone I could talk to about this or talk to in general near me but there isn't, so I got to do what I can. Thanks for your responses.

I'm always willing to talk with anyone about how to walk with God. If you have any questions or need for clarification about what I've written, please don't hesitate to ask.

Selah.

 

[Inkachu]

A. Get involved, asap, into a male moral accountability group that has great trust and honesty and openness. If there isn't one for you, then look up Celibrate Recovery which is a nationwide Ministry for addictions and are held in virtually every major city at a church. Its like a Christian 12 step program with small group breakouts. People get victory from going to these.

B. Re-focus your attention and thoughts . Surround yourself with much more biblical sources for reading and listening .... and develop your relationship with God more . When a lustful thought comes to mind, immediately replace it with a Godly thought of some kind -- cite scripture for instance.

C. Realize that doing this behavior compulsively, often leads to viewing women as nothing but a convenient using whether thru lust or going further . God wants us to view women as valueable dignified fellow Human Beings made in his image ...and not for a temporary thrill sexually .

D. Get a personal book on this struggle. www.newlife.com has perfect resources for this addiction and they also put on live seminars around the nation . They are Christian Pscyhologists and also have a call-in radio program in many U.S. Cities.

E. Constantly surrender to God , yield to the H.S., stay off of any path that flirts with sexual immorality such as filthy movies, porn, pictures, or Howard Stern kind of Celebrity personas which Satan uses to harm Christians who want to walk the narrow moral path in life for Gods glory.

EXCELLENT post

 

[athrun5]

I got to agree with Inkachu, Theycallmedavid and aiki's posts were very helpful and I enjoyed reading them.

Aiki thanks for your help and I think I may message you sometime as I do got questions. Nothing that makes me doubt but things I simply don't fully understand. or that I do understand but don't fully open it up so that i admit that is what I know.

As for when I said "I will do my best" I wasn't really meaning my best exactly, I just didn't know how to really say I will do my best with the lord's strength in me........ However your post was helpful non the less and reassuring.

David your post was also helpful as as those 5 points were something I need to think about and I really liked the Letter B. That one was a good one, I live in the middle of nowhere in the south of canada so finding groups like this may be hard. As for my living place I got 1 Loving mom, 1 athiest brother, 1 condemning IHOPian and then anyone else that would be blood related in the world wants me and my family dead. so all I got is my mom who I live with on a farm.

I defiently think this helped me get a better grip on what is going through my head and I am going to continue to do the best I can with the lords strength or another way of saying it the best the lord can do in me that I can do to finish. I think I said it right that time.. Anyways I got school work to get done.

 

[aiki]

Aiki thanks for your help and I think I may message you sometime as I do got questions.

You're welcome! Feel free to message me as you like.

 

[Inkachu]

Are you in college? You mention doing school work. Do you have a job? I'm wondering what your goals or plans are as far as getting out on your own and being self-sufficient?

 

[aiki]

I, too, live in the South of Canada in the city of Winnipeg! I lived as a teen in Saskatchewan in a small, rural town where my Dad was a pastor, so I have some idea what it's like to feel as though I'm living in the middle of nowhere.

 

[athrun5]

Good question Ikachu

My plan is this we live on a farm and have a not so good house at the moment. So once I finish my programming degree, I am going to get a job and save up to build us a house. Then My mom, My brother and Myself are all going to live on this property with are 3 to be 5 dogs till we die. I have no plans of ever leaving. I love the country to much to want to move back to some ugly polluted city.

I live south of Winnipeg where the middle of no where you pass it in like 5 seconds