Sounds like your having a hard time. I know this is a public forum but could you talk more about what trials you have bee going through? I want to help. And just so you know, I said a prayer for you. Your not alone.
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I'm trapped
- Thread starter Paroder
- Start date
Sounds like your having a hard time. I know this is a public forum but could you talk more about what trials you have bee going through? I want to help. And just so you know, I said a prayer for you. Your not alone.
Some of this stuff don't sound like much, but it truly hurt me... None of my trials were physical.... all spiritual. It began when i thought I blasphemed the Holy Spirit and had blasphemous thoughts for about 7 weeks and I thought I was unforgivable even though I still loved God and wanted to serve Him and help the Kingdom of Heaven. I went into a depression and fell into pornography and anxiety, (which I have repented of) but I couldn't get thoughts against God out of my head. I thought I was demon possessed because I thought how could anyone of God have these thoughts. It was mental torture, I even dreamed about it and 24/7 my brain barely got any rest. And I slipped further into depression and anxiety and tried to hold on... But I thought it couldn't get worse but it did.... I was praying to Jesus to help me and rise up and please defend me and forgive me and then instantly a fear came upon me and it was like my faith was took from me and I started to feel spiritually blind and I kept praying and begged God to help me with my unbelief and doubt, but silence. I slipped into further depression being about 6 weeks in the doubt and I kept doubting trying to read the Bible and pray and praise, but I got no help. So it has already been about 12 weeks and my anxiety levels rose and my depression was worse. I tried to stay strong, but I planned on getting stronger spiritually this summer, but the whole entire summer has been a trial. So depressing. I am in doubt and unbelief trying to hold on right now. Perhaps God is holding on to me. I never wanted to lose faith.... I was much happier and had a testimony and was on fire. When I got saved, my whole entire thought process and heart changed. I thought of God and his love constantly.I repented of my sin and had a relationship and felt His presence, and praised God and wanted to please him and that was what I wanted. Not this unbelief and doubt... I pray, but no answer. I am spiritually blind again. This mental torture follows me in my sleep as well. There is more but I don't want to get in it. I am on the verge of falling away. I really want faith now.Sounds like your having a hard time. I know this is a public forum but could you talk more about what trials you have bee going through? I want to help. And just so you know, I said a prayer for you. Your not alone.
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the enemy attacks us through our thoughts! Ask God, whether you believe in him or not at the moment to take away the doubts that the enemy has set into your head, he is the father of lies and his plan is to snatch your faith... Praying that the lord shows you his love! "No weapon that forms against me/YOU will prosper" - Isaiah 54:17
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ThyLovingkindness
Senior Veteran
You know Paroder, sometimes when we're seriously bummed, and believe me when I say that I've been there, we need to get off of the couch, so to speak, and do something. Talking to a Dr. and a Christian counselor of some sort can be of help; getting out and doing things to take our minds off of ourselves can help; you know, becoming active. Becoming plugged into life. As a believer and a single woman, I can go crazy in this condo of mine lest I get out and do things. There have been times that I've had to push myself. But dear one, God doesn't want us to rest on our laurels. Scripture says that faith without works is dead. God wants us to be His hands and His feet. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite here, praying for folks when I have struggles with belief of my own. Yet I've noticed that I'm stronger when I pray for others. Again, when I get out of self and do things and fellowship with others, I'm less apt to succumb to a downward spiral. More of my blab blab... sorry... just want to help. Blessings!
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Oh my bad.
I have been through trials of faith. And at one point it was so distant yet hovering on the edge as a very small distant voice, when I was living a life that was destructive. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have no faith, not even the far distant voice calling me back for so long. Great wopmen and men have experienced the darkness of faith including Mother Therssa and St. Tersese of Liseiux. Paroder I have travelled many roads after having left my original faith such as Shamanism, Hinduism and Buddhism before coming back to my faith.
Interesting enough to pray for the restoration of you faith to God is itself an act of faith.
For me it was a strong desire to follow and serve God but which one then? I was blessed in the night during silent listening. A voice came into my heart/mind and said "Follow Me". And I was liberated from the pain of unknowing and the choices on my shoulders. So here I am now hoping you can reslove this disonance in yourself.
Prayer, reflection, openness.
Act as if you would if you already had original faith. Talk to God in your own words, vent, fret, ask questions and listen. Share your earnestness and grief. And again listen. After this be mindful and open as a seeker after truth. The answer and consolations to your experience may not come in a voice broadcast in you or it may. Remember God speaks to us through bishops and little children, a bird on the window sill, a movie, book, a garden and so on.
Praying you find your way on your path.
Blessings,
Mark
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