After 13 years of marriage my husband left me for another woman. Lord Help Me but I still love this man and I can seem to get over him. He left me in June. We have 2 wonderful girls and if not for God and them I don't know if I would have made it. My mother in law lives with me and gives me tons of emotional support along with my family. They all want me to move.
They all? Like your mother-in-law wants you to move? Or your ex? Or your family? If your mother-in-law is OK with the setup and you are too, then the opinion of others really doesn't matter. If they want to set you up with something more permanent or more in line with what they want and they won't remove support, and you're OK with it, then fine. Otherwise, tell people "Thank you for your advice and support, right now I just really need X, Y, and Z, and I don't want to discuss the living arraignments that are working for me and my mother-in-law."
It's hard. I have 13 years of my life to him. He is living with this woman but yet when it comes to handling bills and borrowing money it's me he comes to.
Give him directions to H&R Block and a bank to take a loan at and wash your hands of it. He wants to go live with somebody else, he can rely on them. Or better yet, next time he comes begging for money, you can ask him how the other woman would feel if she knew he still came to you for cash. Here's guessing she doesn't know and she'd be less-than-thrilled.
Offer to give her a jingle to let her know the next time he comes sniffing around for cash. Say you'll pass on you don't have any money to give him and you'll ask if she can maybe float him some money.
He barely spends 2 hours a week with the children. He wants them to go to his house where he lives with "that" woman but they refuse. My 12 yr. old says if he wants to see her he will come to our house.
Well, this is where the bad news for you comes in... If you want him to spend more time with the girls, it means that you'll have to let them go over to their house. It also means you'll have to explain to the 12 year old that it's not appropriate for him to spend time in your home with the kids and that, at some point, she'll have to be OK with either going to see him there or understand that it will mean she can't see him often. She's struggling to understand the divorce too, and it'll be up to you to lay down the boundaries about how he isn't allowed to come and go in your home anymore. It's rough, but trust me, it's better you have the discussion that goes "right now it's not appropriate for your father to come here to spend time with you because he's decided to move out" than him having a conversation that goes "your mother won't let me see you because she's a (insert bad name here)."
I'm lost. I don't want to take child support out because I don't want a fight. He gives me some money every week, is it enough? No.
Have you filed legal separation? If you do, the nice thing is you won't have to fight about child support. The court tells him how much he has to pay and he has to pay it. If he doesn't like it, the court has arraignments for that too. If he wants to argue with you about it, a simple reminder that this is what he chose when he decided to move out should be enough to remind him that, again, this is his choice.
I'm so confused as how to pray about this. Would I take him back if he left her? Probably so, and I feel like a idiot but how do you keep from loving someone you have loved for 14 years. I prayed and prayed before I met him God would send me someone who would love me for me and I would love him for him. He has changed so much. He would have never ever have treated his children or me like this in the past. How can one change like that?
Pray for strength and resolve for you to be able to do what you need to do to make sure your not run into the poor house from a husband who left but crawls back only long enough to get money. Pray for your kids. Pray for yourself. Let the rest fall where it may.
But get to court, protect your girls, protect yourself. He won't do it.
