I'm afraid I can't delete that link. If it has to be a stumbling block for Christians, then so be it I'm afraid. I guess that's just fate.[/qoute]
Fate is fate, but Destiny is
Higher than fate.
SaintMarco said:
I'm afraid I am too filled with sin to ever be a good Christian or servant of God now.
Even the greatest of sinners, worse than you have turned around and have become a child of God.
I am actually believing that this is something else, maybe this has nothing to do with Spirituality at all. The thing is your probably seeking "Satanism" because you want to feel as though you
belong in a crowd of people who will accept you for who you are-even though us Christians are not accepting the idea of Satanism, you don't want to be in a group with Christians. People give me a nickname- Bible Thumper- it's their insult towards me, but hey I love it. I take humility for Jesus everday. So if you join Satanism, you would think, this feels
cool, I am in a crowd of people who love and respect on what I do. The thing is I am not that much older than you, however, God has given me great wisdom for my age. I was 19 not that long ago, but I went through a two year of darkness, when I was 17 and 18. I am going to admit this for the very first time in my life- I thought Satan was cool. I rebelled against God. I hated everything of Good, and I don't know why I turned away from Jesus but I remember saying this to Jesus one night, "Jesus, I am letting you go. I don't want you in my life right now, maybe another time." I was happy that I was free, well so I thought. Months passed and I felt something happening to me, I was becoming dark inside my heart, I felt my
soul turning
ugly. This is something SaintMarco you don't want to feel. I ignored the feelings but deep inside I had pain, anger, frustration, and saddness. I tried praying to God, but the sound of prayer made me sick inside.So I would stop. I once even threw the Bible against the wall when I was 17. Any message of God made me angry or hateful, even sick. A year and half later I asked spoke to Jesus once again and I asked him, "Please can you show me what my soul looks like inside." Few days later I had a dream where I saw something that made me seek God once more, I saw my soul. This is what happens when someone does not repent or falls away from God, and I thank Jesus for showing me this, if you ever saw the movie the Exorcist, let me tell you, my soul made that movie look like Goody Goody Gum Drops, my soul made me scream when I got to see it. My soul was becoming evil, my soul's image itself would scare those who could of seen it. This is what Satan wanted. I remember waking up and shaking, my heart was racing, nothing could calm, but yet I stayed that way for another six months. My family never saw this, I kept this hidden beneath smiles and laughs, but deep inside I was dead inside, After my family moved, I began turning myself around, I begged Jesus to come back into my life, I was begging him to forgive my sins, because I was afraid. I kept hearing Demons in my room when I was a teenager, because I gave Jesus up. How much I begged and cried for Jesus. I fell to the floor in my bedroom and cried. I yelled out his name, anything you could think of I tried to get his attention. I wanted Jesus back so much that I would of died for his love. This is very hard for me to write, because I am reflecting on my past, and this is making me cry, because what I did. That night I felt the glorious presence of Jesus with me in a dream, he took my soul in my dream and I could only remember him saying to me was, "Your sins are forgiven," and he took my soul into a bright light. That morning I woke up a very different person, my soul could breath like freash air of a country morning. Yet my body was very
weak. My body was weak for three days, but my Soul was very alive and clean. I never returned to be that person again, that experience ended when I was 18. I am now going to be 24 soon, and when I look back I cherish what Jesus has done for me all my life. I put him first now, even though sometimes I still fall, every Christian does, we get back on our feet. We carry our Cross and we demonstrate our love for Jesus. I love talking about him, he is my number one love. I am actually getting a degree to teach children about Jesus. Even though SaintMarco this is not Satanism, I am giving a little dose of what
can happen to you if you abandon Christ for Satanism. I did not even give you my full experience of my letting go of Jesus.
If you join Satanism, your soul is going to scream like mine did, your life will be going around in circles, and then one day everything is going to come crashing down all at once, then what?? I don't think you want to experience what I went through!! Like I said this was just a dose of my experience, not the full blown story. This was all because I dropped Jesus because I didn't want to be apart of Christianity ever again, I wanted to become an Atheist. Well look where I am today. I am a Christian once again and I am proud that I am. I cannot speak for you, but your own
soul is going to speak
for/to you when that time comes. So please rethink your decision, I don't want you to suffer how I did. Even though this is not about Satanism, I want you to understand the punishment your soul is going to be taking when the flesh makes the wrong decision in life.
Godbless.
Rubies