Hello, this is ny first post and I joined this community just because I'm searching desperately for help.
I was raised Christian my whole life and up until a few months ago, I never thought God wasn't real. There were moments in my teenage years when I wouldnt say I was religious but rather than disbelief, it was more of a rebellion against good and righteousness. You could say I was being an angsty, edgy teen. But as I grew, I matured out of it and went into Christianity head on. It didn't last long when I was sitting in Church and I heard my pastor say "a man can go his whole life and never believe in God even though he thinks he's saved." This left me with questions and this is when I actually began to deliberate over the existence of God. For one, how can someone want salvation and not find it? Even if they don't believe, how can they not know they don't believe? How can God allow someone who wants the salvation he so graciously gifted mankind deny someone who is searching? I wondered if maybe that was me. What if I didn't believe and I decided I needed to evaluate my faith with reason and logic. When I did that, I didn't find what I was looking for. I set out to find out what was my natural inclination and it wasn't toward God.
I can say I don't understand why homosexuality is wrong. I just do not get it at all. The ONLY response I've gotten is because God said so. But for the entirety of the Bible, there is usually reason behind the morality. This one doesn't make sense to me. Especially because I am bisexual and I can tell you, Its never been my choice
I've prayed and begged God to open my heart to Jesus and to help me find my faith. I've prayed for signs and answers. I've prayed for understanding. I've prayed that he give me what ever it is that's going to make me believe but lately, it feels like I'm praying to nothing. I can't even bring myself to pray anymore because it's so disheartening.
I'm liberal minded and the way that I see Christian behave goes against what I believe is right. And I was raised around Christians and I don't connect with them on a political or moral level. I also see a lot of Christians as naive and out of touch. I love all of them but I it's difficult for me to feel validated in other christians when I perceive them this way.
Lastly, it all just seems less and less evident out in the world. Between science and society, I don't see how God is fitting in.
Want to know if I can just forget all of this and decide to believe even though that clearly goes against what my pastor said. I need to know what I can do to find my faith. I want to know someone can go their entire lives reading the word and practicing Christianity and have no eternal life to show for it. I've never felt more alone in this universe than I do now.
Please help me
I was raised Christian my whole life and up until a few months ago, I never thought God wasn't real. There were moments in my teenage years when I wouldnt say I was religious but rather than disbelief, it was more of a rebellion against good and righteousness. You could say I was being an angsty, edgy teen. But as I grew, I matured out of it and went into Christianity head on. It didn't last long when I was sitting in Church and I heard my pastor say "a man can go his whole life and never believe in God even though he thinks he's saved." This left me with questions and this is when I actually began to deliberate over the existence of God. For one, how can someone want salvation and not find it? Even if they don't believe, how can they not know they don't believe? How can God allow someone who wants the salvation he so graciously gifted mankind deny someone who is searching? I wondered if maybe that was me. What if I didn't believe and I decided I needed to evaluate my faith with reason and logic. When I did that, I didn't find what I was looking for. I set out to find out what was my natural inclination and it wasn't toward God.
I can say I don't understand why homosexuality is wrong. I just do not get it at all. The ONLY response I've gotten is because God said so. But for the entirety of the Bible, there is usually reason behind the morality. This one doesn't make sense to me. Especially because I am bisexual and I can tell you, Its never been my choice
I've prayed and begged God to open my heart to Jesus and to help me find my faith. I've prayed for signs and answers. I've prayed for understanding. I've prayed that he give me what ever it is that's going to make me believe but lately, it feels like I'm praying to nothing. I can't even bring myself to pray anymore because it's so disheartening.
I'm liberal minded and the way that I see Christian behave goes against what I believe is right. And I was raised around Christians and I don't connect with them on a political or moral level. I also see a lot of Christians as naive and out of touch. I love all of them but I it's difficult for me to feel validated in other christians when I perceive them this way.
Lastly, it all just seems less and less evident out in the world. Between science and society, I don't see how God is fitting in.
Want to know if I can just forget all of this and decide to believe even though that clearly goes against what my pastor said. I need to know what I can do to find my faith. I want to know someone can go their entire lives reading the word and practicing Christianity and have no eternal life to show for it. I've never felt more alone in this universe than I do now.
Please help me