I'm really struggling with lust.

[flowerforever7]

Is there a hobby you have that you can direct your attention to when these thoughts happen? When they do, you could tell yourself no and then think of some way you can be like Christ to the world (or your fiance). Maybe there are some good deeds you can choose to do when you get the thoughts, or simply call another follower of Christ when you get the thoughts to distract yourself.

Also, I think of the Scripture where Paul says it is better to marry than to burn with passion:

1 Corinthians 7:9
"But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Not sure when your wedding date is, hopefully soon.

God bless.
______
Acts 22:16 "And now why do you wait? Rise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on his name."

 

[Christian Warrior]

You do not own your body. You are renting it. The body's purpose is not to bring you satisfaction. Your body is not yours. You cannot get comfortable in your own skin. You cannot choose to comfort your emotions or flesh or feelings or desires. You have to die to self. You have to give it up. Your focus cannot be of your body. It is not about feeling like you won't sin but rather in choosing to not sin even when you will still & always still continue to feel like sinning & giving in, well, I mean, until we are given new bodies.

God tells us what to do, it is up to us to listen to him or not. If we want eternal life with Jesus then we must not only believe He is Lord over our lives but we must also act on what He tells us. Salvation does require works and not faith alone.

This being said, if you choose to not follow His orders on your life, then you will die, you and "your" body.

I understand how you feel about us "renting" our bodies, I use to feel the same way, and most of what you said is very accurate.

But like God himself says, Our bodies are our bodies, for example. Leviticus 19:28 "'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.

That's the man Himself talking.

 

[technofox]

God tells us what to do, it is up to us to listen to him or not. If we want eternal life with Jesus then we must not only believe He is Lord over our lives but we must also act on what He tells us. Salvation does require works and not faith alone.

This being said, if you choose to not follow His orders on your life, then you will die, you and "your" body.

I understand how you feel about us "renting" our bodies, I use to feel the same way, and most of what you said is very accurate.

But like God himself says, Our bodies are our bodies, for example. Leviticus 19:28 "'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.

That's the man Himself talking.

Umm... not to debate you, but what you said does go against scripture. It is by faith alone that we are saved. Jesus said that whoever believes in him is saved. We can't earn are way to heaven, because it was Christ who paid for our sins to be forgiven, so that no one can boast. I understand where you are coming from with that passage (paraphrasing of course) that faith without works is dead. It doesn't mean one is unsaved, because of lack of works, it just means that their faith isn't as alive as those who do works.

We are to honor G-d with our bodies by not knocking boots with prostatutes and harlots. As for the Leviticus passage you mentioned is about idiolatry. People would cut themselves as a symbolic gesture for the dead, including tatoos which is a form of idiolatry. I can't tell your denomination because I am using the CF app on my smartphone, but I do respect your beliefs, even though I strongly disagree with them.

I hope this post helps the OP to realize that he is saved dispite his struggle. Had not Christ paid for our sins, we all would be doomed. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ our Savior! :-D

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Once a christian you cannot go to hell/be unsaved unless of course you turn away from God and stop being a christian. Other then that you are saved, the punishment for sinning is just less rewards in heaven. This all varies on denominations though. Some believe works only will get you into heaven. But mostly thats an unaccepted belief.

I pray to I marry my fiance too because while for now I am controlling my sexual urges, I really want to be free to act on them as a couple without fear of sin.

 

[Christian Warrior]

I dont believe in denominations, I just believe in Christ. So I guess you would say I am non denominational, but really I am just a christian.


I dont want to debate either, so If you want to respond back to this with anything, I will read it and leave it at that. I respect others views. I am just telling my own.

Ok, so,

2 thes. 1:7 and to reward with rest you who are afflicted, along with us. This will take place, at the revelation of the Lord Jesus from heaven with His powerful angels, taking vengeance with flaming fire on those who don't know God and on those who don't obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus.

When it says and it is making a seperation from those who dont know God, "And" those who dont obey. (Those who do know but dont act on what they know, for example a lot of people that call themselves christians)

The next part is a parable, The bible has a lot of parables to hide the secrets of the Kingdom from unbelievers.

2 thes 3: 10 In fact when we were with you, this is what we commanded you: If anyone isnt willing to work he should not eat. For we hear that there are some among you who walk irresponsibly, not working at all, but interfering with the work of others. Now we command and exhort such people, by the Lord Jesus Christ that quietly working, they may eat their own bread. Brothers do not grow weary in doing good.

And if anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take note of that person; dont associate with him, do that he may be ashamed. Yet dont trat him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.


Also I want to bring out one last verse.

Hebrews 10:26

For if we deliberately sin after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a terrifying expectation of judgement, and the fury of a fire about to consume the adversaries. If anyone disregards Moses' law, he dies without mercy, based on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment do you think one will deserve who has trampled on the Son of God, regarded as profane the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified and insulted the spirit of grace?



I didnt even think of faith without works is dead, but we could throw that one in there too I suppose.

 

[apocolypticremedy999]

Before I came to the faith and repented from sin, I had this same issue. I was very lustful and it was like a habit to me, but when I found god and he found me I was given this supernatural ability to cease sexual desires immediately. I didn't even think about returning to sex. There were times when I felt like I was being ravished in my sleep, but of myself I did not engage in sexual intercourse again. I haven't physically had sex with anyone since. I dropped addictions and never picked them up again when i came to God and I am thankful. The thing was; I had faith that I could do all things through him who strengthens me, and I could. I received this extraordinary strength to stop these things because I had faith. My friend, with all due respect, where is your faith in this? What excuse do you have, for after you came to Christ, you should have received the strength in spirit to put these things away. All I can say is you best have faith that you can indeed do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Why you did not have faith in this before, I do not know, nor do I know what hope you may have, if you have any at all, for those who go against the truth and deliberately continue to sin after coming to knowledge of it have no sacrifice that could possible cover their sins, but only expectation of fiery judgment. I really felt like you should have known better after coming to understand that as a Christian you need to abstain from sexual immorality especially before marriage.

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:13

 

[Christian Warrior]

I just want to add also how many people on this planet express that Jesus is lord with their lips. (Even the muslims believe that Jesus is Lord and do not deny the gospel)

If the road is suppose to be narrow, there is going to be a long line

 

[hedrick]

Please consider carefully what lust is. It's surely a temptation to all of us, but classifying all sexual feelings as lust can cause more spiritual damage than not dealing with lust.

Lust isn't just sexual desire, but inappropriate sexual desire. The Greek word is also the word translated "covet" in other contexts. I'd say it implies seeing someone as a sex object, and planning to use them.

Particularly for a young adult, I'm simply not convinced that thinking about what it would be like to have sex is lust, as long as you are not imagining (or worse, planning on) taking advantage of someone.

We do all have temptations that we have to resist. But treating all sexual imagination as lust can cause people to focus on winning an unwinnable battle, when there are likely to be other parts of their lives that need more attention.

The whole of Mat 5 tried to refocus us away from legalistic approaches, to approaches that look at motivation and how things affect others. I'm pretty convinced that a lot of guys' thought does not indicate any inappropriate motivations, nor any bad attitude towards women. Of course there are plenty of people who really DO see the other sex primarily for gratification, and spent their time thinking about how to make sexual conquests. That surely would fall under Jesus' condemnation.

My concern is that there's a danger of replacing a legalism of action with a legalism of thought, and that this may be going from the frying pan into the fire.

 

[technofox]

Please consider carefully what lust is. It's surely a temptation to all of us, but classifying all sexual feelings as lust can cause more spiritual damage than not dealing with lust.

Lust isn't just sexual desire, but inappropriate sexual desire. The Greek word is also the word translated "covet" in other contexts. I'd say it implies seeing someone as a sex object, and planning to use them.

Particularly for a young adult, I'm simply not convinced that thinking about what it would be like to have sex is lust, as long as you are not imagining (or worse, planning on) taking advantage of someone.

We do all have temptations that we have to resist. But treating all sexual imagination as lust can cause people to focus on winning an unwinnable battle, when there are likely to be other parts of their lives that need more attention.

The whole of Mat 5 tried to refocus us away from legalistic approaches, to approaches that look at motivation and how things affect others. I'm pretty convinced that a lot of guys' thought does not indicate any inappropriate motivations, nor any bad attitude towards women. Of course there are plenty of people who really DO see the other sex primarily for gratification, and spent their time thinking about how to make sexual conquests. That surely would fall under Jesus' condemnation.

My concern is that there's a danger of replacing a legalism of action with a legalism of thought, and that this may be going from the frying pan into the fire.

Good advice and commentary. Basically it all goes back to the golden rule that Jesus. This why I believe it is important to re-examine any relationship one is in and observe their motives as to whether it is done in love or selfishness.

 

[oi_antz]

@Hedrick - thanks, this is a balancing perspective.

Before I came to the faith and repented from sin, I had this same issue. I was very lustful and it was like a habit to me, but when I found god and he found me I was given this supernatural ability to cease sexual desires immediately. I didn't even think about returning to sex. There were times when I felt like I was being ravished in my sleep, but of myself I did not engage in sexual intercourse again. I haven't physically had sex with anyone since. I dropped addictions and never picked them up again when i came to God and I am thankful. The thing was; I had faith that I could do all things through him who strengthens me, and I could. I received this extraordinary strength to stop these things because I had faith. My friend, with all due respect, where is your faith in this? What excuse do you have, for after you came to Christ, you should have received the strength in spirit to put these things away. All I can say is you best have faith that you can indeed do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Why you did not have faith in this before, I do not know, nor do I know what hope you may have, if you have any at all, for those who go against the truth and deliberately continue to sin after coming to knowledge of it have no sacrifice that could possible cover their sins, but only expectation of fiery judgment. I really felt like you should have known better after coming to understand that as a Christian you need to abstain from sexual immorality especially before marriage.

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:13

This is what has happened to me too, though different from you I noticed a gradual change from seeing people lustfully to seeing their beauty but not thinking sexually about it. Of course the world is a beautiful place because God is a tremendous designer - look at the exotic birds of the rainforest, you don't need to think sexually about them.

I want to just emphasise that your comment "My friend, with all due respect, where is your faith in this? What excuse do you have, for after you came to Christ, you should have received the strength in spirit to put these things away." - I think you should respect that everyone has different circumstances, the gravity of our sinfulness varies. Ultimately when we come to Christ, we agree to let Him take our burden of sin and to train us in ways of righteousness. If that has truly happened then Jesus will act in good time.

For instance, it took almost a year for me to conquer my cigarette and alcohol addictions because there were more important things to learn first, but when it happened there was absolutely no way I could have used those substances. I am now able to drink responsibly like a normal person.

Also, my flatmate has just undergone the same training for his alcohol addiction, Jesus scared the crap out of him so it will definitely be a while before he drinks another beer. He is raving how strong the Lord is in his life and how much better he feels. So my advice is to make that decision "yes I want to cut this sin loose", hand it to Jesus and then quit worrying about it so much. I feel that DexterMorgan is right, if Jesus cares so much that you are living in sin then He will stop you, but it is really your decision to rely on Him and to listen to everything He tells you. Again, I feel that Hedrick spoke well and that ought to help.

One last thing, about that verse in Psalm 145:18, take note of this:

18 The Lord is close to all who call on him,
yes, to all who call on him in truth.

Notice that praying is pointless if you don't pray in truth. You shouldn't need to pray over and over again for the same thing because God already knows your needs and desires. Instead surrender the matter in your heart - be comfortable with the prospect of surrendering lust. Until you are ready to surrender your desire to sin, Jesus will not force you to put it away. You absolutely do need to be willing.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

You shouldn't need to pray over and over again for the same thing because God already knows your needs and desires.

I've heard mixed views on that. Some say you should not be reptitive when praying, but others say if you don't continue to pray for it then you may not be serious about it. Example Every week at church the repeat the same prayer requests from the week before. Does that mean we shouldn't pray because we did so before? I don't think so.

Just my opinion.

 

[steve_bakr]

I just cannot seem to control myself. All my life, I've been a very sexual person (and I'm only 19), so making the transition to abstinence is extremely difficult. My fiance and I are really struggling with this. We're both trying to make the transition together, but there are times when God just leaves us alone and our evil nature takes over us.

At first, I would feel guilt for having sex, but now I am feeling frustrated I can't be who I naturally am. I just feel myself drifting from God, and I don't want that! I don't want to be a slave to sin. I don't want to feel far from God again... I'm never truly happy when I am.

I need help! I have been praying to God to help me free myself from this bondage, but then I'll start thinking lustful things soon after. It's like I can't control myself sometimes. I want to be in His grace. I want to have his blessings, and I want to WANT to do his bidding and obey his word. But I'm just struggling so much right now, and I just don't know how to get where I want to be as a Christian..

I'm starting to sound redundant now, so I'll leave it at that. I feel as if though God has guided me here to find my answer. I know you all will help me in my endeavor.

Congratulations for choosing celibacy. It is very sacred to be celibate before marriage. Do not give up. You must maintain prayer continuously and occupy your mind with the thought of God always. Celibacy is 24/7. I pray that you will succeed. God bless.

 

[brohammer26]

OI antz- I agree with you on this part. It is going to be different for everyone. Some people recieve christ and immediately turn away from everything. Others it takes time..while there is a general massive turn from the sin, there can be slip ups but ultimaley the path is going to reach towards the least amount of sin.. I had this problem as well and initially did quite well. I had one slip up and been recovering since. Overall the changes have been quite dramatic for both booze and lust.

 

[hereforabit]

Sexual intimacy is a good thing with someone you intend on becoming one in flesh with. Be a good lovemaker. I hope you are ready to make a commitment, and possibly have children. The whole thing is that you're serious, because to ancient Israelites, the act of sex was the confirmation of the union of two becoming one. It is a very sacred act.

It is best to have a marriage and the blessing of a priest of Christ. You already committed the act, and so now you two have become one flesh. Don't stress about legalistic abstinence now, but intend to be married soon. Wisdom dictates that if you truly, seriously love her, you should continue to be intimate. She is yours, and you are hers. Give thanks to God for all things. Strive for her pleasure rather than your own.

 

[JoeyArnold]

Your thinking is gnostic, not biblical. This not helpful either for you or the original poster.

1 Corinthians 6:19: Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

 

[JoeyArnold]

Salvation does require works and not faith alone.

Works is the result of salvation.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Wanted to add this, I prayed asking for the right words to answer this topic and when I opened my bible I came to this:

1 Corithians 10:14
"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it."