My honest opinion is that you're in a relationship with an incredibly abusive man, and you need to get out. You owe it to yourself and your child to not hold onto wishful ideas that he'll change, and instead act on the reasonable expectation that he'll get much, much worse.
From experience never underestimate your desire to overestimate your ability to handle difficult people that is why I suggested help and from a wise person who has encountered/dealt with difficult and damaged people. I personally believe as a Christian we are all damaged goods, but the issue is how can satan and those not following God take advantage of that to ruin us... trust me if we have weaknesses the closer we get to God the more we see attacks on us based on those weaknesses. I'm not sure if it is God allowing it to strengthen us or just the nature of living in a fallen world but it seems at times that people who stand up for Christ even in the least often seem to be broadsided by seemingly extreme attacks that at times can force us to surrender to the attackers or fall on our face and plead for God's help.
Thank you. I have already decided that I am definitely divorcing him. I have a consultation with a lawyer on Tuesday. Hopefully, it will all be easy and not too expensive, because I do not have enough money to go through legal battles at the moment.
You're right. I will look into Christian counseling, I believe there's an app that has the counseling for pretty cheap. Do you maybe have any other suggestions for that? I would definitely want a Christian counselor.
I would first consider counseling from a local church as they can also help hook you up with other needs and perhaps even get you into a sort of support group and you may be struggling to make ends meet right now plus you probably need help finding a lawyer that has experience in international problems and people that can help you deal with such issues plus some even know how to get financial assistance and maybe even employment and child care when that concern comes in the future. I don't envy single moms at all as they have a lot on a sometimes empty plate to handle.
Thank you so much for this, I actually didn't think that the lawyer would probably need experience in international cases, I am asking them now if that's something they have experience in, thank you so much.
I actually wanted to see a doctor first and consult with a doctor about this..
I have told him all of those things, but, unfortunately, that doesn't change his mind or heart. He won't be able to find me for a while as he is in Nigeria and doesn't currently have any way of getting to the united States. I will speak to the lawyer next week about what I need to do in order to protect myself in case he does want to find me or the child some years from now.
Thank you for the link! It's not that I don't know how to buy them, I just wanted to make sure I get the right ones based on what the doctor says.. I really don't know much about pre-natal vitamins and I don't always trust Vitamins in general because I believe that a good diet should provide sufficient enough vitamins and eating one vitamin is not natural as God gives plants that have multiple vitamins in them in the right proportions. So yeah..
You may need several lawyers for both American legal issues and international legalities as in your case it could require you to find legal actions using both countries court systems and then have to balance the results back and forth to satisfy both systems. My sister is living in another country now with her husband and has had all sorts of problems trying to get citizenship there so she is allowed to live there and going back and forth getting documents from here and there and filing in both places. It is possible this could get expensive too maybe you will need financial aid first to pursue any legal actions that may require paying a local advocate in the other country to represent you there.
Technically we are not married in Nigeria. I think, I'm not sure how it works.
That could get even more complicated as you would may need legal help with that countries laws also. Some countries don't recognize things from others as "legal" normally, you have to go through hoops to establish things before you can deal with them and then they may possibly honor other countries laws regarding their legalities when it concerns citizens of that country. In other words things could be easy to take care of or require the pulling of hair and screaming and banging your head to get through it.
Hopefully, it won't be like that.. I really don't want this process to take any longer than it should, I want everything to be over as soon as possible so I don't have to think about it and can fully focus on my child and the future
