I'm not a believer anymore

[creativeguy504]

First, I want to apologize for the negativity in my message. I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything. I am just simply being honest with my feelings.

I used to be a believer for many years - my whole life, in fact. Spoke in tongues, went to church, gave tithings and tried to live a good life. I wasn't perfect, but I tried to follow The Word according to Him.

Well, the last few years things have been very rough. Though I pray and pray and pray, it seems like it just keeps going on and on. Everyone makes mistakes - and I have sat back and objectively looked at my mistakes and what I can do better.

Still nothing. I ask Him to guide me and show me the way so that I can improve my life...still nothing.

Finally, I have reached a point where I don't think he exists anymore. As a formerly devout Christian, I NEVER thought I would utter those words.

Please remember that I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything, but rather, I am a firm believer that if something is bothering you, it's important to talk about it so that you can overcome it.

That is why I am here - to talk about this and get this off my chest. And honestly, it feels so liberating. No more endless praying. Though I will always try to do the right thing and have morals, it feels like such a relief to let go of the fact that I at one time, believed in him.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I feel so much better.

Thanks for listening.

 

[Norah63]

Why relieve yourself here ?

 

[orangeness365]

so you're basically saying that the suffering you are going through right now is causing you to fall away from the faith? Falling away from the faith because of suffering happened to me too, because I didn't understand that as Christians we are often called to suffer on behalf of Christ. My problem was that if God was good, how could I be suffering and losing all my friends, and what about the sufferings of other people with greater problems, right? Well, I think most Christians will tell you that it is because of the Fall in Genesis and because of sin that there is suffering in this world. If you are already doing your best to follow Christ, and you feel that there is no more you can do, then perhaps there isn't anything you can do, except suffer. Sometimes when you suffer it is not like people will tell you that they are going to kill you if you don't renounce Christ. But, sometimes people will persecute you, claiming it's for different reasons, and cause harm to you despite you trying to do what is right. There are so many passages about suffering in the Bible. Just because you are suffering doesn't mean that God is not there. I fell away from the faith, and despite praying periodically, my prayers were short and filled with a complete lack of faith. The prayers were for only in case I had made a mistake or something. I spent a year being an atheist, and despite it probably being one of the best years of my life, I felt a void so strong without Christ in my heart, that I concluded that I would rather be a Christian without the void, than an atheist with that void. It's unfortunate that you are suffering so much, but to those who overcome, will be given God and heaven. Job suffered, but unlike me, he never turned away from God, and then was rewarded greatly for it. I don't know if you will get all of the worldly blessings that Job got after his suffering was over, but there will definitely be the heavenly father waiting for you. Here are some passages about suffering in this life.

Acts 14:22
strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying, "Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God." - See more at: 48 Bible verses about Suffering, Of Believers

 

[Steeno7]

First, I want to apologize for the negativity in my message. I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything. I am just simply being honest with my feelings.

I used to be a believer for many years - my whole life, in fact. Spoke in tongues, went to church, gave tithings and tried to live a good life. I wasn't perfect, but I tried to follow The Word according to Him.

Well, the last few years things have been very rough. Though I pray and pray and pray, it seems like it just keeps going on and on. Everyone makes mistakes - and I have sat back and objectively looked at my mistakes and what I can do better.

Still nothing. I ask Him to guide me and show me the way so that I can improve my life...still nothing.

Finally, I have reached a point where I don't think he exists anymore. As a formerly devout Christian, I NEVER thought I would utter those words.

Please remember that I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything, but rather, I am a firm believer that if something is bothering you, it's important to talk about it so that you can overcome it.

That is why I am here - to talk about this and get this off my chest. And honestly, it feels so liberating. No more endless praying. Though I will always try to do the right thing and have morals, it feels like such a relief to let go of the fact that I at one time, believed in him.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I feel so much better.

Thanks for listening.

So, you have admittedly made mistakes that led to where you are, and so you have concluded that it is Gods fault? The same God who you now say doesn't even exist? Thats some convoluted thinking if ever there was some.

 

[Norah63]

Which is why he came to the Christian forums with his suffering.
Seeking the only way out, through Christ.

 

[Shadow316]

I used to be a believer for many years - my whole life, in fact. Spoke in tongues, went to church, gave tithings and tried to live a good life. I wasn't perfect, but I tried to follow The Word according to Him.

Well, the last few years things have been very rough. Though I pray and pray and pray, it seems like it just keeps going on and on. Everyone makes mistakes - and I have sat back and objectively looked at my mistakes and what I can do better.

Still nothing. I ask Him to guide me and show me the way so that I can improve my life...still nothing.

No one is a believer their WHOLE LIFE. One somewhere along the line as to make the decision to follow Him and let Him control their life.

you can pray and pray (what ARE you praying?) and it goes on and on... yes, it does. As long as one is in this world.

you ask Him and nothing happens.... He isn't Santa waiting for your list... Do you LISTEN? You also have to LISTEN and LEARN and DO what He tells you.

 

[razzelflabben]

First, I want to apologize for the negativity in my message. I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything. I am just simply being honest with my feelings.

I used to be a believer for many years - my whole life, in fact. Spoke in tongues, went to church, gave tithings and tried to live a good life. I wasn't perfect, but I tried to follow The Word according to Him.

Well, the last few years things have been very rough. Though I pray and pray and pray, it seems like it just keeps going on and on. Everyone makes mistakes - and I have sat back and objectively looked at my mistakes and what I can do better.

Still nothing. I ask Him to guide me and show me the way so that I can improve my life...still nothing.

Finally, I have reached a point where I don't think he exists anymore. As a formerly devout Christian, I NEVER thought I would utter those words.

Please remember that I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything, but rather, I am a firm believer that if something is bothering you, it's important to talk about it so that you can overcome it.

That is why I am here - to talk about this and get this off my chest. And honestly, it feels so liberating. No more endless praying. Though I will always try to do the right thing and have morals, it feels like such a relief to let go of the fact that I at one time, believed in him.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I feel so much better.

Thanks for listening.

Like you, I don't want to start anything and seriously, it's your call and I wouldn't take that away from you if I could. That being said, I have been studying prayer and I would appreciate the opportunity to ask you a few questions and make a few comments in regards to that study, if you don't mind. Please be reminded and assured that I am not trying to sway you, it may seem like I am and I would greatly rejoice if you came back to God, but that is not my intention in any way, shape, or form. I just want to talk about prayer and why so many of us at one time or other, wonders where the power of prayer is, or why we should even pray when nothing seems to happen.

You talk about two things that interest me based on my study, 1. you talk about trying, was that effort in your power or the power of the indwelling HS? Many times we do all the work when yielding to God and letting Him be the battery pack so to speak is what He needs for our situation to change.

2. you talk about praying for guidance, which sounds like the perfect prayer. My first look at prayer (much more than this) resulted in understanding 3 things about God's promise to do whatever we ask, so I would like to ask how your prayer fit these three things.
A. Is the thing asked for the will of God...is so, how do you know and where did you expect Him to lead you, as in where does scripture say His leading will take you?
B. Is the thing asked for for the purpose of bringing about righteousness and how would it lead you to righteousness?
C. Is this thing asked for for the glory of God and how would it glorify God?

If you don't want me to ask any more questions in regards to pray, just say so, I would appreciate however, if you would allow me to continue to view your thread and comments as per my curiosity on the topic.

 

[Sophrosyne]

Sometimes God withdraws himself from you.... or at least he leaves you alone to wander such that you can't "feel" him and your life can start going south but usually it is for a reason either you are under attack or God is letting your faith be tested and tried. You could call it spiritual muscles in that if everything goes good all the time when times get really rough we would not know how to cope but when God allows you to suffer then coping for even harder times is something you can do as you know God is there even when the "feeling" isn't. I had years when things were bad for me I thought they would never get better but I got to a place I put it all in God's hands and over a long time God provided slowly and surely and I've gone from a fragile believer to someone who has sound faith in Jesus and doesn't worry about that part of my life I'm going to heaven to be with him forever regardless of what happens in this extremely short life here.

 

[dragongunner]

Sometimes God withdraws himself from you.... or at least he leaves you alone to wander such that you can't "feel" him and your life can start going south but usually it is for a reason either you are under attack or God is letting your faith be tested and tried. You could call it spiritual muscles in that if everything goes good all the time when times get really rough we would not know how to cope but when God allows you to suffer then coping for even harder times is something you can do as you know God is there even when the "feeling" isn't. I had years when things were bad for me I thought they would never get better but I got to a place I put it all in God's hands and over a long time God provided slowly and surely and I've gone from a fragile believer to someone who has sound faith in Jesus and doesn't worry about that part of my life I'm going to heaven to be with him forever regardless of what happens in this extremely short life here.

AMEN!!! Been there, years of sometimes feeling God failed me, then feeling I had failed God……imagine what Joseph went through, almost killed by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused and jailed…But unlike the OP I never doubted that God was real. Some people only learn to serve and believe in God in the good times when all is well. If you have tasted of salvation, then reject it and even believe there is no such thing as God then thats a deep grave to dig oneself into. The OP may feel better, but I'm not patting him on the back. I'll tell ya the Truth, you better wise up, repent and get out of that grave or you'll going to feel a lot worse later. You think the frying pan of tribulation is hot enough to jump out of the pan, and for a moment it feels better and cooler, but those who jump out of the pan soon come down in the fire. You should of been using the shield of faith that is able to quench all the fiery darts of the enemy.

 

[Sophrosyne]

Looks like quoting broke again... grr.
I wouldn't say that is it wrong to doubt, but the problem with doubt is that if one hasn't learned about the nature of God and his word then your idea of God can be immature and unable to withstand the storms of life. The apostles were with Jesus on a boat and a storm came up and they freaked out mainly because they had no faith in Jesus that he wouldn't allow them to die. Jesus allowed the storm to scare them before they woke him up.

There is a scripture in the Bible that equates that God's people perish for lack of knowledge and those whose knowledge of God and his word are lacking will one day not have that to rely upon when the storms hit they won't trust God to not let them drown.

 

[dcalling]

I hope you are OK. Will pray for you

 

[Brandonspapa]

If you were ever really saved, you still are whether you like it or not. Or else you never were saved in the first place and you are lost. The Bible tells us "They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us." 1 john 2:19 (NIV)

 

[Messy]

First, I want to apologize for the negativity in my message. I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything. I am just simply being honest with my feelings.

I used to be a believer for many years - my whole life, in fact. Spoke in tongues, went to church, gave tithings and tried to live a good life. I wasn't perfect, but I tried to follow The Word according to Him.

Well, the last few years things have been very rough. Though I pray and pray and pray, it seems like it just keeps going on and on. Everyone makes mistakes - and I have sat back and objectively looked at my mistakes and what I can do better.

Still nothing. I ask Him to guide me and show me the way so that I can improve my life...still nothing.

Finally, I have reached a point where I don't think he exists anymore. As a formerly devout Christian, I NEVER thought I would utter those words.

Please remember that I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything, but rather, I am a firm believer that if something is bothering you, it's important to talk about it so that you can overcome it.

That is why I am here - to talk about this and get this off my chest. And honestly, it feels so liberating. No more endless praying. Though I will always try to do the right thing and have morals, it feels like such a relief to let go of the fact that I at one time, believed in him.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I feel so much better.

Thanks for listening.

I was a tongue speaking pastor's wife, saved for 20 years and I'd never have thought I'd come to that point, but I did. I didn't even believe He existed anymore, although I had seen and experienced miracles, I had an intimate relationship with Him. I asked and asked, He didn't say anything and I lost my faith. My ex wanted to divorce, I did a suicide attack, came in a mental hospital, ran off with a fellow patient, started living in sin thinking God was okay with it. It all started when they gave me medical drugs when I had anger problems during and after the pregnancy. Judge gave him the kids. I prayed and prayed, God said and did nothing. I did hear one preaching then but I didn't understand it from Carlos Anacondia, about a woman who lost her kids and she yanked at his tie and with every yank she said: mis igos, mis igos, why why why? And he said: Because you turned your back on God. God couldn't help me, I was living in sin. A year later when I got that thought to just really quit it all with Him, I felt so terrible and I thought: there's evidence enough of a devil, there must be a God and I prayed the sinner's prayer again.
This whole thing I've been through would have been completely unnecessary if they just had helped me, but they couldn't and they gave up and forced me to go to a psychiater and take medical drugs. I just needed delivery. If I had gone to T.B. Joshua I believe I'd never have fallen back and would still be married. It was just a demon.

 

[abysmul]

First, I want to apologize for the negativity in my message. I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything. I am just simply being honest with my feelings.

I used to be a believer for many years - my whole life, in fact. Spoke in tongues, went to church, gave tithings and tried to live a good life. I wasn't perfect, but I tried to follow The Word according to Him.

Well, the last few years things have been very rough. Though I pray and pray and pray, it seems like it just keeps going on and on. Everyone makes mistakes - and I have sat back and objectively looked at my mistakes and what I can do better.

Still nothing. I ask Him to guide me and show me the way so that I can improve my life...still nothing.

Finally, I have reached a point where I don't think he exists anymore. As a formerly devout Christian, I NEVER thought I would utter those words.

Please remember that I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything, but rather, I am a firm believer that if something is bothering you, it's important to talk about it so that you can overcome it.

That is why I am here - to talk about this and get this off my chest. And honestly, it feels so liberating. No more endless praying. Though I will always try to do the right thing and have morals, it feels like such a relief to let go of the fact that I at one time, believed in him.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I feel so much better.

Thanks for listening.

I'm sorry your are going through these struggles. I have one suggestion: try going to God in prayer with thanks and praise, and skip the "wish list" praying for a while (asking of Him). Perhaps a fresh approach of thankfulness and adoration towards our Lord will help.

 

[Dari0]

all really good responses, i hope your reading these bro, we all love you here and want to encourage you

 

[MWood]

Tribulations are really a good thing.
Read Romans 5:3-5

Be like the frog in the heron's mouth, and the frog had a choke hold on the heron's throat.
The caption read, "Never give up."

 

[Sketcher]

Finally, I have reached a point where I don't think he exists anymore.

Why not?

 

[1watchman]

Much good responses here. If one has a religious belief without the Lord Jesus Christ in their heart, then the one has no part in God --plain and simple. I would suggest that instead of trying to blame God for not giving one what one wants, one needs to humble self and receive the Lord Jesus into their heart in faith and devotion, for His loving sacrifice on the Cross. If one is a sincere seeker I recommend reading all of 1 Jn. 5:10-12 & John 3:35-36.

 

[CGL1023]

First, I want to apologize for the negativity in my message. I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything. I am just simply being honest with my feelings.

I used to be a believer for many years - my whole life, in fact. Spoke in tongues, went to church, gave tithings and tried to live a good life. I wasn't perfect, but I tried to follow The Word according to Him.

Well, the last few years things have been very rough. Though I pray and pray and pray, it seems like it just keeps going on and on. Everyone makes mistakes - and I have sat back and objectively looked at my mistakes and what I can do better.

Still nothing. I ask Him to guide me and show me the way so that I can improve my life...still nothing.

Finally, I have reached a point where I don't think he exists anymore. As a formerly devout Christian, I NEVER thought I would utter those words.

Please remember that I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything, but rather, I am a firm believer that if something is bothering you, it's important to talk about it so that you can overcome it.

That is why I am here - to talk about this and get this off my chest. And honestly, it feels so liberating. No more endless praying. Though I will always try to do the right thing and have morals, it feels like such a relief to let go of the fact that I at one time, believed in him.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I feel so much better.

Thanks for listening.

One thing to do, if you want change, is to investigate why you don't have any answered prayers. The Lord wants to bless you and, under those conditions, getting prayers answered is easy. The Lord is very specific about the prayers he won't answer. The reasons I've seen are a person somehow violating Word. The Lord wants to bless you but you have to do things His way.

 

[Free at Calvary]

First, I want to apologize for the negativity in my message. I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything. I am just simply being honest with my feelings.

I used to be a believer for many years - my whole life, in fact. Spoke in tongues, went to church, gave tithings and tried to live a good life. I wasn't perfect, but I tried to follow The Word according to Him.

Well, the last few years things have been very rough. Though I pray and pray and pray, it seems like it just keeps going on and on. Everyone makes mistakes - and I have sat back and objectively looked at my mistakes and what I can do better.

Still nothing. I ask Him to guide me and show me the way so that I can improve my life...still nothing.

Finally, I have reached a point where I don't think he exists anymore. As a formerly devout Christian, I NEVER thought I would utter those words.

Please remember that I am not "trolling" or trying to start anything, but rather, I am a firm believer that if something is bothering you, it's important to talk about it so that you can overcome it.

That is why I am here - to talk about this and get this off my chest. And honestly, it feels so liberating. No more endless praying. Though I will always try to do the right thing and have morals, it feels like such a relief to let go of the fact that I at one time, believed in him.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I feel so much better.

Thanks for listening.

Yes you are still a believer. You're trying to quit because you're at a breaking point, but it won't be that easy. You feel relief but we both know you wish it were otherwise.

God does what God wants to do, gives what He wants to give, and all your tantrums won't change it. God is a stickler for his way and does not budge. He'll give you what is good in his sight and nothing less.

I believe He'll help you figure it out. I'm sure this isn't the first time you've been at this point, but it just might be the last. These sufferings are just for a season.

(From someone who has been there and done that.)