Dear Karen,
I have had a pretty messed up life. My mom tried to kill me when I was 3 and was institutionalized and my dad was sociopathic and an alcoholic. I was raised at first by anyone who would care for me ( co workers of my father etc) and at the age of 11 I became a ward of the state of WI (foster care) until I was 18.
I was a very messed up child. I got saved at 19 and it's been a healing and learning process ever since. I have found myself in positions that lead me away from being obedient to the call of God on my life...namely marraige to abusive men who were Christians but weren't submitted to God's will for there lives either.
I was able to return to college at 47 and was really excited because my life's dream was to be come a Social worker. I also found my beloved who loves the Lord and is committed to God will. Two years into school I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Osteoarthritis.
All of these are disabling and I could not continue to go to school. I was heart broken. However, I believe in the scripture that says "by His stripes we are healed" even though I don't see the manifestation it yet I believe it. I know that by getting my life in order and becoming more obedient to His will that I can still be a vessel for His Glory.
I spend a lot of time on this board and a few others praying and trying to give comfort...I am still able to advocate for my husband who also has Chronic Fatigue and other illness. I say advocate because he is a vet and doesn't get very good care at our local VA facility.
I support some other ladies that I met on the internet that also have medical conditions such as mine. One in particular is growing closer to God everyday simply because we share together and I encourage her with Gods word.
At first it was hard because I thought that being ill and at home I could not reach out to people but God is making a way.
I encourage you to seek Gods face and find out what your spiritual gifts are (if you are not doing so already
) and then ask Him to open the doors so you can use them. Being obedient to what the Lord calls you to do brings so much joy and peace.
I applaud you for not letting you CP hold you back from drawing closer to the Lord...He can and does turn all things to the good for those who love him, and despite the weakness of our flesh, He is strong through us if we allow him to be.
If I can answer any questions, or help in anyway...feel free to PM me and I will do my best to answer any questions that you have. Meantime...know I will be praying for you. I know that even when we are physically challenged the Lord gives us wings to fly.
(Isa 40:26) Lift up your eyes on high, and see who hath created these, that bringeth out their host by number; he calleth them all by name; by the greatness of his might, and for that he is strong in power, not one is lacking.
(Isa 40:27) Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from Jehovah, and the justice due to me is passed away from my God?
(Isa 40:28) Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard? The everlasting God, Jehovah, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary; there is no searching of his understanding.
(Isa 40:29) He giveth power to the faint; and to him that hath no might he increaseth strength.
(Isa 40:30) Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
(Isa 40:31) but they that wait for Jehovah shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.
Many Many Hugs
Takesha
