I'm confused and guilty and I'm not sure what to do or how to feel

GoldenRule636 said:

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

Click to expand...

GoldenRule636 said:

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

Click to expand...

GoldenRule636 said:

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

Click to expand...

GoldenRule636 said:

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

Click to expand...

GoldenRule636 said:

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and
somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

Click to expand...

GoldenRule636 said:

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

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Courage Ampadu said:

Infant baptism is not quite the same thing

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rockytopva said:

I believe in the seven churches as ages...

Ephesus - Messianic - Beginning with the Apostle to the Circumcision, Peter
Smyrna - Martyr - Beginning with the Apostle to the Un-Circumcision, Paul
Pergamos - Orthodoxy formed in this time... Pergos is a tower... Needed in the dark ages
Thyatira - Catholicism formed in this time - The spirit of Jezebel is to control and to dominate.
Sardis - Protestantism formed in this time- A sardius is a gem - elegant yet hard and rigid
Philadelphia - Wesleyism formed in this time - To be sanctioned is to acquire it with love.
Laodicea - Charismatic movement formed in this time - Beginning with DL Moody, the first to make money off of ministry

Unto the angel of the church of Ephesus write; These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand, who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks; - Revelation 2:1

Jesus Christ holds all seven churches in the palm of his right hand and walks in the midst of all seven congregations. I see no harm in going to a Messianic, Orthodox, Catholic, Protestant, Methodist, Pentecostal, Word of Faith, or Charismatic church.

As far as churches... We all have issues. Don't be surprise to find problems and issues in whatever church you decide to attend. It is part of being human.

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rockytopva said:

problems and issues in whatever church you decide to attend. It is part of being human.

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GoldenRule636 said:

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

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Jim Langston said:

I believe 1 Corinthians 3 covers this.

1 Corinthians 3:4 For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings? 5 What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7 So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. 9 For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

In place of "Paul" and "Apollos" put "Catholic" and "Baptist", what do you get? That is why I am non denominational. It is not a denomination that saves me, it is Christ.

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GoldenRule636 said:

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

Click to expand...

GoldenRule636 said:

Hey everyone. I'm pretty new to this thread, so I'm sorry in advance for such a heavy question, but I think insights from other Christians might really help and somewhat calm the storm inside me.

I'm in a bit of a tough spot in my faith and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't have a lot of Christians in my life, so it's hard to know to to turn to in times of trial. This might be a longer post, so I'll probably post a tl;dr version at the end for those who don't want to/don't have the time to read it all.

I was born and raised Catholic, and considered myself a Catholic for most of my life. I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic church, and went to church every Sunday. However, I never took my faith very seriously. Until a few years ago, I didn't even own a Bible, I didn't pray on a regular basis, and I basically just went through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus.

I've made some changes since then. About the time I started University, I began realizing the need for Christ to be an active part of my life, and to guide me. It was a turning point in my faith, and I was completely invested, as "new Christians" usually are. It would still rise and fall from time to time, but I've kept true to my beliefs and to God. I now pray on a regular basis, and am trying to keep in the habit of reading my Bible consistently.

Here's where the actual problem starts. I don't want to be a Catholic anymore. I'm still a Christian, but I consider myself more non-denominational, because I don't know which denomination will best fit what I've learned and what I beleive. Here are my main issues with the Catholic church:

1. We pray to saints. I know we're not using them as idles, but rather as mediators, but Jesus is the only mediator between Man and God. The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 2:5 " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus". I don't believe that there is any benefit from praying to Saints. I don't if I'd call it sacrilegious, as that's a bit far, but it feels like a wasted prayer. We're only supposed to pray to God our Father and Jesus Christ as our mediator with the Father, since they're one in the same.

2. Many Catholics believe in purgatory. We don't talk about purgatory in church very often, but apparently it's still an accepted belief in the Catholic church. The need for purgatory, or a place of repentance would make Jesus' death meaningless, because it would mean that his death did not cleanse us of our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God.

3. The Catholic church believes that confession is necessary. If you want to confess, go for it. It's good to confess your sins, but the Catholic church seems to promote that as the only way to be forgiven. I believe we can confess to God directly and He will still hear us. Also, Catholics priests give us penance to complete, like saying 8 Hail Marys. I find that wrong because it's praying to someone other than God, but also doesn't make anyone reflect on their sins or correctional actions. If you've sinned against someone, you should make it right with that person, and if you've sinned against God, make it right with God. Something about just saying the prayer 8 times and hope that makes it all okay is misguided to me, like there doesn't have to be real repentance involved. It certainly can and should be, and I'm sure many Catholics do take a confessional practice very seriously, but going through the motions is a possibility without much reflection.

So, those are a few reasons I'm distancing myself from Catholicism. I live in a house where my religion is a bit unsupported. My father is agnostic and very cynical about the existence of God. He believes in something greater than us, but not necessarily God. My mother is a non-practicing "paper Catholic". Like me, she was born and raised Catholic, she went through the motions and she still considers herself Catholic. However, she doesn't go to church, never reads the Bible, and the title seems to be all that matters. Please be clear that I'm not trying to put down my mother, but outlining the environment in which I live. My boyfriend of a year and a half is Baptist. I've been to his church and I really like it there. It's always very lively and people are much more friendly and social than my church, where people find their usual spot sit down, and then leave when mass is over. His entire family is Baptist and it's a very supportive environment. He can talk to his parents about religion, and discuss it without starting an argument or debate, and I want that so badly, but it's something that I don't have in my home environment. Being with him and his family has really helped me grow in my faith and explore other denominations and their practices, and I've never had the opportunity to do that before.

Ever since I began practicing my faith a few years back, my Mother has been asking why I became such a "Bible Thumper". If I ever do or say something that she doesn't approve of, she'll say that I'm not a good Christian like I pretend to be. Now that I'm trying to switch denominations, she hates it. The way she sees it, if I'm born and raised Catholic, I should always be Catholic, no matter what, don't even question it. She refuses to question anything and thinks it's wrong to do so, and she doesn't want me to be anything but Catholic. She thinks that my idea on changing denominations is because I'm piggybacking off someone else's faith, but I'm actually learning and growing in my own decisions.

I still technically belong to a Catholic church, but my boyfriend and I are looking into a new church. We've visited an Anglican church, next week we're going to a Baptist church, and we're also willing to look at Lutheran churches as a possibility. We're researching these denominations together and we're trying to find a good fit for both of us.

Today I didn't go to church. My boyfriend is working so we couldn't go together, and I was physically exhausted and wanted the extra sleep before I work this afternoon. I realize that it isn't a great or valid reason for missing church, but I took time to pray to God and ask him to help me get my faith in order and guide me in my faith journey.

My Oma (grandmother) who usually goes to church with me, since my parents don't go anymore, was criticizing me after she went to church. She was calling me lazy for not going without any good reason besides wanting extra sleep, and telling me that again, I'm not a good Christian and can't "pretend" that I'm serious about my faith. I told her that I'm still reading my Bible, but she said that doesn't matter at all because I'm not receiving the Eucharist, so obviously I'm not a very good Christian.

When I do go to the Catholic church however, my mother will tell me that I'm a hypocrite because I say I'm not a Catholic but still go to a Catholic church. Because I'm baptized and confirmed as a Catholic, my Oma says that I am legally a Catholic, and unless I'm baptized into another church, I will still be a Catholic and my mother absolutely hates the idea of me getting re-baptized as anything else, even though I feel like a second baptism and a new start with Christ would be a good thing. So now I'm here. I feel guilty for missing church, but I'm still not sure if I should still go to that church.

Tl;dr I'm SO torn because I don't want to be a Catholic anymore, but I don't know which Christian denomination I want to commit to yet. I live in a home without any spiritual support, and my mother hates that I want to be any other denomination, so she puts me down based on that. I'm trying to find a new church with my boyfriend, but we haven't made any final decisions yet. I'm criticized when I go to our family (Catholic) church, I'm criticized when I don't, so I constantly feel guilty whether I go or don't go. I'm trying to figure EVERYTHING out, but I don't know what to do or how to feel and whenever I make ANY decision or have any realization, I'm met with criticism from someone in my family telling me why I'm wrong. What should I do?

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PloverWing said:

I think it's wonderful that you're no longer "[going] through the motions of a Catholic life without really committing myself to God and entrusting my salvation to Jesus", that you're looking to have an active and informed faith of your own. I also think it's pretty healthy that you and your boyfriend are exploring a variety of churches. It'll give you an opportunity to reflect at length on what you believe and why, and what environments best enable you to love and serve God. If you haven't already done so, I recommend reading about the different Christian traditions in addition to visiting their churches: Why do Baptists/Anglicans/Lutherans/Presbyterians/Quakers/etc believe and worship as they do?

One note: Most denominations will not re-baptize you. For the most part, all the major denominations recognize each others' baptisms as valid. There may be a ceremony by which you are officially received into the new denomination, but it normally won't be a second baptism. (An exception is the Baptists, who only recognize baptism of believers, by immersion; they wouldn't reject your baptism in the Catholic church because it was Catholic, but they wouldn't recognize it if you were baptized in infancy instead of by your own choice.)

I wish you and your boyfriend well in your spiritual journeys.

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