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I'm a non-believer with questions

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DepressedSteve

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Ok, I may as well start from the beginning. My mom is a Christian and my dad is Jewish, but neither of them are very religious, and I grew up not going to church and basically our parents let us believe whatever we wanted. So, I grew up believing in science as the answer. Now I am 21, and I need help with some things. Last November I met a girl... the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She went to a Christian college about a half hour away from me. She's a devoted Baptist Christian. I fell in love with her. Anyway, to make a long story short, I became a Christian, we dated, she cheated, broke up with me, I was heart broken, I think she loves me too, I started not believing again, and now here I am, miserable... very much longing for her again. I treated her so nicely... this is just unfair. Anyway, now I'm back to believing in science again, and I don't think I'll ever become a Christian again. I know that if me and her ever got back together somehow, that she'd have to love me and accept me for who I am. Now, there are many things that are bothering me about Christians/Christianity. First of all, I think it is ridiculous that everybody who doesnt believe goes to Hell. That's basically saying that if people like Mother Theresa and MLK jr didn't believe, then they would go to hell, even though they helped the world so much. I think, if there was a God, that he would be a loving and an understanding God... not some angry spiteful God. I'm sure he would expect there to be non-believers since he hasn't shown undeniable, obvious proof that he exists. I think, no matter who you believe in, that if you lead a good life, being nice to others and helping those in need, that you'll go to heaven no matter what. This is one of the things that bothered my ex-girlfriend... that I wouldnt be in heaven with her when we died. Also, why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe? For me, I would still gladly attend church with her, make necessary compromises, etc. And it also says in the bible that if a believer marries a non-believer, that that non-believer is "saved" and will go to heaven. If I was a Christian, I'd look at that as something that's even better than marrying a Christian... you are saving someone who doesn't believe!
 

ApostateAbe

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Steve, I am also 21. I have been in love. I have had my heart broken. I have broken a heart. I have also been through some crises involving the Christian faith.

I think you are making lots of mistakes.

One mistake is chasing after a girl for a serious relationship being as young as you are. That's strike one. You should be getting in order your education, your career, and your life. Don't even think about marriage until you have firmly established your identity.

Then you kept chasing after her after she cheated on you and dumped you. She did you a favor. Stay away from her, because she is staying away from you, and you can count on that. Stop pursuing women. After you become a desirable man, they will pursue you.

Your father should have been the one telling you this stuff. Maybe you can find an older man who will be your surrogate father to give you advice.

You made your username, "DepressedSteve." That relates to another mistake you are making. You are cementing your low self-esteem with your identity. Stop that. Register with a new name that doesn't contain the word "depressed" or "loser" or anything like that. Your identity should reinforce something about yourself that you are proud of. If you can't find anything good about yourself, then be proud of the man you hope to become.

Steve, I'll correct one last mistake of yours, but it is minor. It is about the Bible. It does not say that any non-believer who marries a believer is saved. On the contrary, it warns against such a couple being "unequally yoked." And there is no prominant Christian group I know of who interpret any verse in the Bible as saying such. Most warn against such a union, because it most often destroys the faith of the Christian.

I would be happy to help you through any more of your troubles, Steve. Just send me a message on MSN, AIM, or Yahoo.
 
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Serapha

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DepressedSteve said:
First of all, I think it is ridiculous that everybody who doesnt believe goes to Hell. That's basically saying that if people like Mother Theresa and MLK jr didn't believe, then they would go to hell, even though they helped the world so much.
Hi there!

:wave:

First of all, welcome to the forums...

Now, on with the discussion. I do appreciate that it appears you do believe in heaven and hell for there will be a day of justice for all men. After all, delayed justice is not denied justice.

This posting is about Christianity and defending the faith, so excuse me if I rely on the Bible since I feel it hold the ultimate truth and the real answers to life.

Many good, morale people will miss heaven because they have refused to accept the fact that all people have sinned, and because of that sin, they are separated from the love of God. They might be basking in the love of man and in the gratitude that they feel in good works, but the truth is... when it boils down to eternity, they will still be separated from the love of God because they have never sought the forgiveness of their sins.





I think, if there was a God, that he would be a loving and an understanding God... not some angry spiteful God. I'm sure he would expect there to be non-believers since he hasn't shown undeniable, obvious proof that he exists.
Ooops, now we are at "if there was a God"...

God is just as I said before, and just because you feel that the "crime" doesn't fit the punishment doesn't mean that that the punishment is not just. God laid out the rules in His Word.

I think, no matter who you believe in, that if you lead a good life, being nice to others and helping those in need, that you'll go to heaven no matter what. This is one of the things that bothered my ex-girlfriend... that I wouldnt be in heaven with her when we died.
And you are basing your eternal state on that believe? I tell you what. If, when we stand before God, I find out that all good, moral people go to heaven.... I've lost nothing. I still make heaven. But if I am right and you are wrong, and good, moral people don't make heaven. I still make heaven, but guess what?

Also, why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe?
Because the Bible tells us that believers are not to be unequally yoked. God has a plan for the family, and marriage with a non-beleiver doesn't fit that plan. How could a non-believing husband fill his role as spritual leader of a family if there is no spiritual connect with Christ to begin with?

For me, I would still gladly attend church with her, make necessary compromises, etc. And it also says in the bible that if a believer marries a non-believer, that that non-believer is "saved" and will go to heaven.

No... it doesn't say that.


1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. The marriage union of the unbelieving husband is made "pure" by the believing wife, so the children of that union are "clean"... or pure also.

That passage has nothing to do with the salvation of an unbeliever. Salvation is individual and no other human being or no denomination can save you... sorry... it takes a personal relationship with Jesus Christ to make heaven. You have been deceived into thinking that one can be saved by the faith of another person without their own faith in Christ. You are dead wrong in that belief.



If I was a Christian, I'd look at that as something that's even better than marrying a Christian... you are saving someone who doesn't believe

Well, since your misunderstanding has been cleared up... and you know that no woman can save you through marriage... are you still interested in marrying a Christian?

Getting married isn't like getting a "green card" where you gain citizenship because of your marital status.



~serapha~
 
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Kateena

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Hey Steve,

You obviously are heart broken, and my prayers are with you.. But i think you should think about why you became a christian in the first place. Was it just to make your gf happy? Or was it because it made you happy? If it is the latter, then why does your gf cheating on you change that?

As far as God being angry/spiteful.. I dont think that God is either of those.. And not one of us can judge who gets to go to heaven except God. But yes, the bible does say that only those who believe in Jesus can go to heaven, but i also know that the circumstances are all different, and God is great and none of us can presume to predict who he will choose.

As far as the marrying a non-christian makes the spouse a christian.. Wouldnt that be nice? Being able to save people just through marraige... But no, thats not true. The only thing that can make someone christian is believing in Jesus as their Lord, and marrying someone will not do that. It is something that everyone has to do for themselves.. and should be done whole heartedly.

As someone who dates a non-christian, I know how hard it is and i understand why most christians choose not to date non christians. Apart from the "unequally yoked" thing, it is very hard to date someone who does not understand your beliefs.
Like if God told me tomorrow i had to go do something that seemed crazy, my boyfriend would never understand. Its hard when the other person does not understand something so major in your life. Also, the other person provides spiritual support and guidance. I assume that is why most people choose to be with a christian.

I have a feeling i have rambled alot, and i hope some of what i said made sense.
Good luck, god bless.. I hope you find your way back to God.
 
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CHESS

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DepressedSteve said:
Ok, I may as well start from the beginning. My mom is a Christian and my dad is Jewish, but neither of them are very religious, and I grew up not going to church and basically our parents let us believe whatever we wanted. So, I grew up believing in science as the answer. Now I am 21, and I need help with some things. Last November I met a girl... the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She went to a Christian college about a half hour away from me. She's a devoted Baptist Christian. I fell in love with her. Anyway, to make a long story short, I became a Christian, we dated, she cheated, broke up with me, I was heart broken, I think she loves me too, I started not believing again, and now here I am, miserable... very much longing for her again. I treated her so nicely... this is just unfair. Anyway, now I'm back to believing in science again, and I don't think I'll ever become a Christian again. I know that if me and her ever got back together somehow, that she'd have to love me and accept me for who I am. Now, there are many things that are bothering me about Christians/Christianity. First of all, I think it is ridiculous that everybody who doesnt believe goes to Hell. That's basically saying that if people like Mother Theresa and MLK jr didn't believe, then they would go to hell, even though they helped the world so much. I think, if there was a God, that he would be a loving and an understanding God... not some angry spiteful God. I'm sure he would expect there to be non-believers since he hasn't shown undeniable, obvious proof that he exists. I think, no matter who you believe in, that if you lead a good life, being nice to others and helping those in need, that you'll go to heaven no matter what. This is one of the things that bothered my ex-girlfriend... that I wouldnt be in heaven with her when we died. Also, why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe? For me, I would still gladly attend church with her, make necessary compromises, etc. And it also says in the bible that if a believer marries a non-believer, that that non-believer is "saved" and will go to heaven. If I was a Christian, I'd look at that as something that's even better than marrying a Christian... you are saving someone who doesn't believe!
First your belief in Christianity should not be based on a girl or anyone else,human beings will always let you down in some way and if your faith depends on them you will never have a solid foundation to stand on.

Second as to only believers being saved,how can one be saved if they are sinners and the only way sin can be removed is through Christ.As to all the good works we do
they still do not remove our sin it is only removed by Christ who suffered and died to take away our sins if we will ONLY believe.In human terms if a man commits murder when he is 20 years old and then spends the next 10 years doing good deeds does that absolve him of his crime,No.
Why is it unfair for God to require people to believe in his son when his son humbled himself and took on human form,suffered an agonizingly painful and humiliating death to give us even the opportunity to be saved.The reality is we are very fortunate that God is such a loving God,he does not need us we need him and the fact that all he requires is the belief in his Son is absolute proof of that love.
 
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cyberwing

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Welcome to CF Steve, it's good to have you join us. :wave:

First of all let me ask you a question. If you had a woman that dated you because you had a 'hot car' and you looked like you could spend the money to entertain her the way she wanted, would you think she was right for you? I doubt it. Surely you would see she was shallow and only USING you, right? Okay now think for a moment about an ALMIGHTY God who has given His Creation Mankind freedom of choice. HE wants us to choose HIM because we LOVE Him and accept HIM for WHO HE is.... Isn't that the way YOU would like to be loved Steve? God is the same. HE looks upon the heart and if you have only made a shallow uncommited show in order to gain something... that 'commitment' doesn't count. Sorry, but it's true.
The Christian walk is about PERSONAL relationship with a Living God. HE knows if you truly were committed to Him or simply doing what was expediant to gain something. In the old testament you will see the same. God makes a covenant with us but we must be willing to covenant with HIM and surrender our hearts to Him and place our FAITH in HIM.

Religion is so filled with man-made junk, many times its hard to find the simple truth of God's Word. One must open their heart to seek the truth there. That is why one must go to His Word and read, asking the Holy Spirit's help to discern His Word. I know athiests that read the Bible cover to cover and never understand the TRUTH that lies there, they can't. You can't approach God like that. Approaching HIM in arrogance and/or condescension will gain you nothing.

The verse you quoted about the non-believer married to a believer states the non-believer is SANCTIFIED by the believer. Meaning 'set apart'. Not saved... but set apart. Meaning you are exposed to the truth of HIS Word by their life. Now they are charged with walking their faith out before you. Whether you accept or reject is still up to YOU. God gave you this choice when HE created you. Our Wonderous Creator wants us to come to Him with open, seeking hearts. Willing to learn of Him, WANTING to know Him on HIS terms...not ours.
Man often wants to set the terms of when they will believe in God and WHAT they will believe of God and what God must DO for them before they will believe. If a prospective wife said that to you Steve, would you trust her? Would you want to commit to someone that let you know they would only take from you what they want and you were to ask nothing in return. Yuck.... one sided pretty terrible commitment wouldn't you think? And yet so many people approach our Holy Creator, Father God that way!
Steve, all I can do is share with you what HE has done for me. I ran from God, fearing the commitment to Him. My life was a mess. I failed, everything I did was messed up, relationships were horrible...always ending up with me HURT. Then one day I quit running. I turned and fell on my face and surrendered to my Beloved Pursuer. There HE was waiting for me, loving me, patiently waiting for me to open my heart to HIM. When I did, my life changed. Completely, forever. I tried to live life without Him, and I have lived life WITH HIM and I can guarantee, life WITH Him is MUCH, MUCH better. My life is not a bed of roses but I have a friend that sticks closer than a brother when life is tough. HE guides me, loves me and is my BEST friend! I have a warrior King that steps in and defends me when I need it. I have found a Lord who is committed to me more deeply than any human being could ever commit!
I have joy I never had before! I have peace in frightening situations, all because of my relationship with JESUS and Father God. This is what it's all about Steve. Religion has distanced us from the Truth. JESUS wants PERSONAL relationship with us!
If you want to chat further, my PM box is always open. I hope one day you will decide to open your heart to the real JESUS CHRIST. HE is so incredible, I find mere words cannot completely describe HIM. JESUS loves you Steve, very much. HE longs to free your heart from the prison the enemy has your heart in. That prison is most often built of pain and injury. (such as that inflicted by your ex-gf) Be blessed in your journey as you seek HIM, Steve. :hug:'s
~Cyberwing
 
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Steve,

I agree with what some of the others said. If you are willing to accept Christ because he is going to make you happy and give you good things, then you are doing it for the wrong reasons. God doesn't promise us a "good" life in the way that we tend to think of it. Look at the Apostle Paul. He was stoned, beaten, shipwrecked, imprisoned. A whole host of nasty things happened to him. His life was harder AFTER becoming a Christian than before. What Paul had though was righteousness through Christ. He couldn't earn it, he couldn't live to God's standard. He, like us, recieved the gift.

I do urge you to consider the right reasons for accepting Christ. If all of us are wrong, and the Bible is wrong and we die.....Nothing happens...Game Over. But if those who don't belive are wrong....they recieve a eternity in Hell. I would hate to be wrong about that one.

I do apologize to you for what your girfriend did. I can see how her cheating on you probably lowered your opinion on Christians.

God Bless
 
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LilRitt04

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DepressedSteve said:
Ok, I may as well start from the beginning. My mom is a Christian and my dad is Jewish, but neither of them are very religious, and I grew up not going to church and basically our parents let us believe whatever we wanted. So, I grew up believing in science as the answer. Now I am 21, and I need help with some things. Last November I met a girl... the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She went to a Christian college about a half hour away from me. She's a devoted Baptist Christian. I fell in love with her. Anyway, to make a long story short, I became a Christian, we dated, she cheated, broke up with me, I was heart broken, I think she loves me too, I started not believing again, and now here I am, miserable... very much longing for her again. I treated her so nicely... this is just unfair. Anyway, now I'm back to believing in science again, and I don't think I'll ever become a Christian again. I know that if me and her ever got back together somehow, that she'd have to love me and accept me for who I am. Now, there are many things that are bothering me about Christians/Christianity. First of all, I think it is ridiculous that everybody who doesnt believe goes to Hell. That's basically saying that if people like Mother Theresa and MLK jr didn't believe, then they would go to hell, even though they helped the world so much. I think, if there was a God, that he would be a loving and an understanding God... not some angry spiteful God. I'm sure he would expect there to be non-believers since he hasn't shown undeniable, obvious proof that he exists. I think, no matter who you believe in, that if you lead a good life, being nice to others and helping those in need, that you'll go to heaven no matter what. This is one of the things that bothered my ex-girlfriend... that I wouldnt be in heaven with her when we died. Also, why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe? For me, I would still gladly attend church with her, make necessary compromises, etc. And it also says in the bible that if a believer marries a non-believer, that that non-believer is "saved" and will go to heaven. If I was a Christian, I'd look at that as something that's even better than marrying a Christian... you are saving someone who doesn't believe!
you said that you think it is rediculous for someone who is a good person to go to hell. well, then can be the most perfect person...BUT...they do not have a relatioship with God...BOTTOM LINE. a relationship with God is a requirment to make it to heaven. we are not perfect people but we have to strive to be. i would never marry a non-christian. you are who you hang out with...like you said when you were dating your ex you went to church, so you became who she was...right? you cant look at marrying a non-christian better. being friends with them is one thing. but marrying them is something totally different. if you are friends with them and they get saved and then you get married...thats awesome! but my personal opinion on that...before you get married or even start dating make sure that person is a christian. we are not to be equally unyoked.
 
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SPALATIN

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Tony2979 said:
Steve,

I agree with what some of the others said. If you are willing to accept Christ because he is going to make you happy and give you good things, then you are doing it for the wrong reasons.
Are we responsible for our own salvation? If we are than "accepting Christ" is what we need to do, but if we are not responsible for our own salvation than we don't accept him. I believe the latter is what the Bible teaches here. We don't make a decision for Jesus because we are sinners and as a sinner the last thing I want is to have to answer to a God.

What is true is that we are saved by hearing the word of God whereby the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin. Upon this conviction we are sentenced to die and Christ comes to us and takes our place on the cross for what we deserve. There is no acceptance of this work he has done in us through the Holy Spirit. We are then Baptized putting to death our sin and we are saved from our deserved punishment.






Tony2979 said:
God doesn't promise us a "good" life in the way that we tend to think of it. Look at the Apostle Paul. He was stoned, beaten, shipwrecked, imprisoned. A whole host of nasty things happened to him. His life was harder AFTER becoming a Christian than before. What Paul had though was righteousness through Christ. He couldn't earn it, he couldn't live to God's standard. He, like us, recieved the gift.
Here you have it right. :thumbsup:

Tony2979 said:
I do urge you to consider the right reasons for accepting Christ. If all of us are wrong, and the Bible is wrong and we die.....Nothing happens...Game Over. But if those who don't belive are wrong....they recieve a eternity in Hell. I would hate to be wrong about that one.

I do apologize to you for what your girfriend did. I can see how her cheating on you probably lowered your opinion on Christians.

God Bless
Why do you flip flop here? Again there is nothing for us to do in our salvation. It is a gift that can only be imparted by God. We do nothing.

I realize you are trying to give him advice but please get your doctrine right first before you share the word.
 
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TheOriginalWhitehorse

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DepressedSteve said:
Ok, I may as well start from the beginning. My mom is a Christian and my dad is Jewish, but neither of them are very religious, and I grew up not going to church and basically our parents let us believe whatever we wanted. So, I grew up believing in science as the answer. Now I am 21, and I need help with some things. Last November I met a girl... the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She went to a Christian college about a half hour away from me. She's a devoted Baptist Christian. I fell in love with her. Anyway, to make a long story short, I became a Christian, we dated, she cheated, broke up with me, I was heart broken, I think she loves me too, I started not believing again, and now here I am, miserable... very much longing for her again. I treated her so nicely... this is just unfair. Anyway, now I'm back to believing in science again, and I don't think I'll ever become a Christian again. I know that if me and her ever got back together somehow, that she'd have to love me and accept me for who I am. Now, there are many things that are bothering me about Christians/Christianity. First of all, I think it is ridiculous that everybody who doesnt believe goes to Hell. That's basically saying that if people like Mother Theresa and MLK jr didn't believe, then they would go to hell, even though they helped the world so much. I think, if there was a God, that he would be a loving and an understanding God... not some angry spiteful God. I'm sure he would expect there to be non-believers since he hasn't shown undeniable, obvious proof that he exists. I think, no matter who you believe in, that if you lead a good life, being nice to others and helping those in need, that you'll go to heaven no matter what. This is one of the things that bothered my ex-girlfriend... that I wouldnt be in heaven with her when we died. Also, why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe? For me, I would still gladly attend church with her, make necessary compromises, etc. And it also says in the bible that if a believer marries a non-believer, that that non-believer is "saved" and will go to heaven. If I was a Christian, I'd look at that as something that's even better than marrying a Christian... you are saving someone who doesn't believe!


Dear Steve,

I'm very sorry to hear of your circumstances, and I pray the Lord will bring you healing. Infidelity is a terrible thing to have to recover from, and I pray that your healing will be speedy and complete.

As to your beliefs, may I gently suggest that if we decide what we believe about God, then we are only making decisions about a god of our own creating. Science is natural, not supernatural, and while it can never answer supernatural questions, it does prove the existence of God.

As for hell, the Lord wants us to believe Him because He is worthy. Usually the things that stop us from seeing Him as He is are things that hurt us, and God doesn't want that. He created us because He had a plan, and His plan always brings peace.

Please don't change your beliefs because of your ex girlfriend. She doesn't have the power to change reality. What is true about God cannot be created or determined by man. And God is the only authority about Himself. We know only what He reveals. Moreover, we often feel the tempation to feel a certain harshness in the law of hell, but usually it's because man wants an inner god to rule, and that's a big part of how we know that what God says is true. God's truth is completely without human bias. ;)

I'm sorry for your pain. I'm sure I'm not alone in praying for you. :groupray:

The Lord's richest blessings to you
Whitehorse
 
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Paul_Wright_luvr

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ok, i know that u r almost 10 yearsolder than me but dude, please listen. first of all, once u r a Christian, u r alwys a Christian. Christianity isnt just going to church, its believing that God sent His only Son, Jesus, to die for us. ok, about the marrige part, yes, God does command Christians to only marry other Christians. My grandma is a Christian but my grandpa isnt. the good people dont go to heaven cuz they havnt showed faith. imagine this:you are a REALLY nice, neat perfectionist-type person. u like your house nice and neat but you are also really kind. so, you run a homless shelter for the homeless people in your community to stay in. some of them are perfectionists like you, and others are REALLY BIG slobs. but they all 'deseveve' to be there since they need help. do u think it would be fair to you to have to clean up after the slobs??

i know this might not make a lot of sence but its the best i could think of.i may be young but i have been a Christian for almost 10 years, so you can trust me. PM me if u need anything!!
 
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hey all

on the whole good deeds thing, (and please dont take this the wrong way), the question that makes up my mind towards Jesus is this: if no-ones perfect, how good is good enough? i know god (for some reason!) loves me in my imperfectness, and wants to have a relationship with all of us imperfect peoples, which was made possible through Jesus - its not first and foremost dependent on how good i am

i dont believe a matter of balancing good deeds and bad deeds on a scale - for one thing, what is the relative goodness of giving someone hungry a turkey sandwhich as opposed to giving $500 to world vision? If i murdered someone but was essentially good, how many more good deeds would i have to do to pay it off? and how much more unfair would it be if someone who tried to be good missed out because of one too few good deeds?

to my mind, if there is a standard of goodness we have to achieve to get in Heaven, or whatever afterlife, God had better explain it well enough so that we can all work to achieve it. i think leaving us alone to figure it out is pretty unfair, more unfair than making his undeserved favour available to anyone who wants it, regardless of how "good" they are.

for me, i know im not good and i dont want the stress of having to work to earn Heaven. Jesus offers us a way out of the goodness cycle - im not saying we should all go out and murder people and that it doesnt matter, and maybe there is a religion which does state how good is good enough.

for me, Jesus is good enough.

i hope that wasn't heretical in any way and that it helped (i dont know heaps, so plz correct me if im wrong)

luv e
 
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DepressedSteve said:
\ Also, why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe? For me, I would still gladly attend church with her, make necessary compromises, etc. QUOTE]

sorry to post two in a row everyone!
for me personally, i won't get into a relationship with a non-christian (so i say now - im weak but i hope my resolve on this doesnt weaken) because Jesus was uncompromising in his sacrifice for us. being a disciple of Jesus is more than just believing he exists and stuff - its following his will with everything you have and are. i havent achieved this state of devotion at all, but slowly i know God will change me so i can be more devoted. being with someone who wasn't heading in this direction as well would be a stumbling block for me.

luv e
 
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IloveJesusMyFather3:16

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Could I get you to check this out?? It would answer most of your questions:
http://www.christianforums.com/t1064781-hmm-.html
This is one of the things that bothered my ex-girlfriend... that I wouldnt be in heaven with her when we died. Also, why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe?
I think you just said one of the reasons right there. Who wants to be seperated from their love? Also, the Bible says two cannot walk together unless they be agreed and it says light cannot walk with darkness.
And it also says in the bible that if a believer marries a non-believer, that that non-believer is "saved" and will go to heaven. If I was a Christian, I'd look at that as something that's even better than marrying a Christian... you are saving someone who doesn't believe!
I see someone has already posted what the Bible says about this. Love you!! PM me if you have questions. I usually only visit these threads once each.
 
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Faithful83

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:hug:

I'm sorry that you have been so badly hurt by a Christian. However she's one person, and she's not perfect. Her actions cannot be responsible for your relationship or lack of relationship with God. God does not cease to exist or cease to care because a Christian has sinned.

And by the way, I would just like to say that science isn't going to help you one little bit with the pain you're going through, but God will if you let him.

Lord, show Steve the way and help him find peace. Amen.
 
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SBG29

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Steve, man, sorry she did you like that. I think you can get over it though. I'm not trying to come across as heartless but, hey, you've got bigger things to worry about that an unfaithful ex.

I've got to ask, "What was it that made you a Christian?" I wonder if you just became "religious" just to date this girl. You see, one can be religious and lost. I was that for 29 years! Being a Christian is a lot more than just believing in God, going to church, doing good things, and trying to follow some set of commandments and what not. The key to Christianity is in Christ. I'm going to use a lot of scripture to try to help you understand. If I don't quote scripture, then it's just my opinion, and my opinion isn't worth spit if you want to learn about the Savior.

You mentioned that it makes no sense for someone who is essentialy a good person to go to hell becuase they don't believe. Friend, it's not God who condemns us to hell. We are already bound for hell because of who and what we are. We are sinners:
Romans 3:23 All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.
Romans 5:12 Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned
There is a penalty for sin and that is death and hell:
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death...
Revelation 20:14 And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire
Why? Because no sin can enter into heaven.
Revelation 21:27 And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb's book of life.
How do you get into the Lamb's book of life? Believe on the Lamb, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ (GOD the Son) humbled himself, put on flesh, suffered and died to pay OUR penalty. All we have to do is trust His finished work. He did that because he LOVES all of us.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
2 Corinthians 5:21 For he (God the Father) hath made him (God the Son, Jesus Christ) to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.
Just believe with what faith HE has given you that HE is who HE says HE is and that HE will do what HE has promised if you just do HIS will and receive HIS gift.
Titus 1:2 In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of god: not of works, lest any man should boast.
Romans 10:10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
Romans 10:13 Whosoever (when you see this word, think, "even me") shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved (you can't call if you don't believe, right?)
1 John 5:11-12 And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life.

Steve, God's truth is the truth whether you know it, like it, believe it, or not. But there it is in black and white right out of HIS word. So, now you know it. Seeing how much HE loves us, how can you NOT like it? Seeing as how God wants even children to go to heaven, HE would not make it hard to understand or believe, so, why would you NOT believe?

Steve, don't just call yourself a Christian and think that's enough. The lable doesn't make you a Christian. You know the truth...if you can just have the faith in God's Word.... Romans 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. God's Word has been presented to you. Just, by faith, believe. Trust what Christ did for you and me; and receive His free gift of salvation. Once you've done that, you can quit relying on science or relationships to define your possition before an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, loving, and compassionate God. You will have the ONE relationship that matters. You WILL BE a child of the living God.
John 1:12 (speaking of Christ) But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name

I pray this is a help to you! :prayer:

YOUR servant IN CHRIST,
SBG29
 
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Sketcher

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Sorry to hear about that girl. That sucks, I know.

Interesting enough, Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr. were both Christians. They understood that their sins could only be covered over by Jesus Christ's sacrifice on the cross. They knew that they were not "good people." If there was such a thing as a truly good person - one who was good enough to get to Heaven on their own - Jesus wouldn't need to come down here on Earth and get crucified. It would have been a waste of His time. He did this because there is no other way to free people from sin and judgement. Nobody is good enough or decent enough to make it to Heaven on their own, and God loved us enough to give us a chance that we don't even deserve, and that chance is to accept Jesus' sacrifice and ask Him to take away our sins.
 
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Bain_Adaneth

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Hi Steve,
It's not as easy as you think. I married my husband because I thought that he will be saved when I bring Him to Christ, but so many years, and I don't even know if he is saved.. :( It hurts because I love him and I want him to know that God loves him so much, but he doesn't want anything to do with Christianity. The reason why you are not a Christian now is because you decided to become a Christian for the wrong reason...You should know that not all Christians do what God wants them to do. Even I get scared of doing something I'll regret. Maybe your ex doesn't really know if she's a real Christian or not. Maybe she's really struggling with her walk with Christ. But you should never base your understanding of Christianity on one person. You said that she's a devoted Christian, but only God really understands that one. Being saved is not by the works you do, but by believing in God and in His son, Jesus Christ, who came and died for you. Don't let a bad relationship like that stop you from really knowing who God is and how Jesus died for you. I admit that being a Christian I've done so many things to make others struggle. Now that I've given my life to God, I'm going back to undo those things, and it's not easy. Sometimes impossible to do for me, but not for God. I feel like such a failure for God, but now he's given me strength to restore broken relationships, and people that I've made stumble. It's a really hard thing to do.
So don't let that stop you. Hey, I wonder that if you ever "become a Christian" again, I wonder what will be going through her mind (your ex's). Steve I don't know how God will judge people, but I do know one thing, and if you take Jesus as your Savior you'll be saved. Steve remember that being a Christian doesn't mean you're perfect. A lot of Christians fall. But it is our job to keep our eyes focus on God, and help those up who have fallen. I've been a Christian all my life, and I didn't know God or had a real relationship with Him until I was in college at the lowest part of my life. And I still do get temptations everyday and I sin (not willingly). But I confess and am miserable of these temptations. But then I press on and am filled with joy because the Lord is with me and he helps me to overcome them. It's the hardess thing to do, to confess.
[ridiculous that everybody who doesnt believe goes to Hell. " ]
-It's not so ridiculous when you learn what, and why. God is Holy, and he said he will judge us, and he will keep his words because he is Just. Please learn more about why you don't believe. And don't believe only because the person you love tells you to. But find out who God is, and why Jesus his son died for us.
Steve thank you for posting this question. Jesus loves you. It very brave of you to tell about your struggles. I'm alway here if you need someone to talk to....please ask more questions if you have them.... I'll be praying for you.
 
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