I'm a non-believer with questions

[carmi]

Last November I met a girl... the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She went to a Christian college about a half hour away from me. She's a devoted Baptist Christian. I fell in love with her. Anyway, to make a long story short, I became a Christian, we dated, she cheated, broke up with me, I was heart broken, I think she loves me too, I started not believing again, and now here I am, miserable... very much longing for her again. I treated her so nicely... this is just unfair. Anyway, now I'm back to believing in science again, and I don't think I'll ever become a Christian again.

These may sound like impertinent questions but I feel they are important (hopefully - as you read the rest of my reply - you will understand why they are so important):

Did you became a Christian so that she would date you?

How did you become a Christian?

I know that if me and her ever got back together somehow, that she'd have to love me and accept me for who I am.

I became a believer the moment I realized that the Lord loves and accepts me - the way I am. I am accepted in the Beloved (inspite of my many not so loveable traits). And because I believe that I don't want to "unbecome" a Christian. I have lived long enough to experience people letting me down, leaving me and I also know that I do let people down, disappoint them in many ways. Though I let God down frequently, He never did let me down. Even though He had to deal with me rather sternly, I always knew that He does not leave me nor forsake me. Yes, I am also sad and stressed when others let me down, I feel hurt but after a while I remember that God is stil with me. Science is a good past time but science could not get me pass these moments of desertation, disappointment.

I'm sure he would expect there to be non-believers since he hasn't shown undeniable, obvious proof that he exists.

How would you proof in an undeniable and obvious way that you love someone? How would you feel, if the person you love would constantly ask you for proof - wouldn't you at one point get the feeling she does not trust you? Would that mistrust hurt you? How would you feel, if you told the person you love: trust me and follow me (and she does without questioning)? You'd know that she loves you and you can rest in that love (you don't have to come up with proofs constantly).

I think, no matter who you believe in, that if you lead a good life, being nice to others and helping those in need, that you'll go to heaven no matter what. This is one of the things that bothered my ex-girlfriend... that I wouldnt be in heaven with her when we died.

This brings me back to my above questions. How did you become a Christian - by going to church with your girlfriend? Or by being nice to her and a lot of other people?

Also, why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe? For me, I would still gladly attend church with her, make necessary compromises, etc.

Because I would know that death would part me forever from that person. And it would be entirely selfish of me to be glad with any kind of compromise - so he will go to church with me but I won't go to church forever (I go there only during my stay on earth).

If you love someone, you want to be with that person, you want that person to be with you. If you would have to go to a foreign country, you want that person to be able to go there with you.

In short, it get break your heart because you know that relationship won't last forever, eventually you will be separated and not be able to see that person anymore. And personally, I could not face the man I love and tell him "I love you" knowing I am going to leave him alone eventually.

It might be an extreme example, but whether I married that person or not - it won't last, it's something temporary ... I would feel as those who start a relationship while on vacation knowing they have to go home one day. In short, to me it would be more a gratification of personal desire and not love.

And it also says in the bible that if a believer marries a non-believer, that that non-believer is "saved" and will go to heaven. If I was a Christian, I'd look at that as something that's even better than marrying a Christian... you are saving someone who doesn't believe!

Where in the Bible does it say that???? I have read the Bible through on more than one occasion, and more than once I was looking for a verse, the smallest hint to something you are saying here. By all means, give me chapter and verse.

 

[Locket]

why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe? For me, I would still gladly attend church with her, make necessary compromises, etc. And it also says in the bible that if a believer marries a non-believer, that that non-believer is "saved" and will go to heaven. If I was a Christian, I'd look at that as something that's even better than marrying a Christian... you are saving someone who doesn't believe!

Hey Steve. I'd like to hear the reference to that non-believer "saved" thing. And you're wrong about "if you marry them you can change them". A speaker demonstrated it this way. This guy, a big strong guy, stood on a 4' platform. Another guy who wasn't as buff stood below. The big guy tried to pull the smaller guy up. But instead the little guy pulled him down. He ended it with saying, "It's easier for them to pull you down than for you to pull them up."
And compromises don't last.

 

[Yamialpha]

Hello DepressedSteve
First off, your comment about how you don't think you are ever going to be Christian again is the wrong attitude. If you want to be a Christian again, then there is no reason as to why you shouldn't be. Euclid once said that in order to do anything, you must first assume that you can.

Second, sin cannot be permitted into heaven. True, we all, both believers and non-believers, are sinners, but those who are saved by the blood of Christ have their sin pardoned. No matter how good of a life you lead, you are still a sinner. You just have to have it pardoned by God.

Finally, I just want to say that God loves you. No matter how difficult life on Earth seems, His love remains. It doesn't matter if you are Christian or Atheist, He loves you unconditionally and is calling you to Him. You just have to answer the call.

I will pray for you and your situation. May God work in your life in the most magnificent of ways.

 

[lismore]

. On the contrary, it warns against such a couple being "unequally yoked." .

Didnt Joesph in the bible marry an egyptian priest's daughter?

 

[LilRitt04]

ok, i know that u r almost 10 yearsolder than me but dude, please listen. first of all, once u r a Christian, u r alwys a Christian.

How can you say this? I dont mean to argue with you are make you angry in any way. But once you are saved you cant be always saved. My Dad is a perfect example of this. He used to go to church and was once a true Christian but now he isnt...He cusses and drinks. Will he still get into Heaven? OF COURSE NOT! Think logically here!

Christianity isnt just going to church, its believing that God sent His only Son, Jesus, to die for us.

You obviously have been taught a false prophet because yes...you have sent believe that God sent his only son...but you also, have to a personal relationship with Christ. Without that personal relationship with Christ we are nothing.

ok, about the marrige part, yes, God does command Christians to only marry other Christians. My grandma is a Christian but my grandpa isnt.

This is all in if you really want to follow the Bible. Maybe your Grnadmother is a witness to your Grandfather and that is why God allowed them to be married and it work. But I dated a non-christian for almost a year and it turned out so bad because it wasnt meant to be and I wasnt being the Christian that I was supposed to be, which then in turn allowed me to become who he was. There is a old saying "You are who you hang out with"

the good people dont go to heaven cuz they havnt showed faith. imagine this:you are a REALLY nice, neat perfectionist-type person. u like your house nice and neat but you are also really kind. so, you run a homless shelter for the homeless people in your community to stay in. some of them are perfectionists like you, and others are REALLY BIG slobs. but they all 'deseveve' to be there since they need help. do u think it would be fair to you to have to clean up after the slobs??

i know this might not make a lot of sence but its the best i could think of.i mey be young but i have been a Christian for almost 10 years, so you can trust me. PM me if u need anything

What?

 

[JBrian]

Ok, I may as well start from the beginning. My mom is a Christian and my dad is Jewish, but neither of them are very religious, and I grew up not going to church and basically our parents let us believe whatever we wanted. So, I grew up believing in science as the answer. Now I am 21, and I need help with some things. Last November I met a girl... the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She went to a Christian college about a half hour away from me. She's a devoted Baptist Christian. I fell in love with her. Anyway, to make a long story short, I became a Christian, we dated, she cheated, broke up with me, I was heart broken, I think she loves me too, I started not believing again, and now here I am, miserable... very much longing for her again. I treated her so nicely... this is just unfair. Anyway, now I'm back to believing in science again, and I don't think I'll ever become a Christian again. I know that if me and her ever got back together somehow, that she'd have to love me and accept me for who I am. Now, there are many things that are bothering me about Christians/Christianity. First of all, I think it is ridiculous that everybody who doesnt believe goes to Hell. That's basically saying that if people like Mother Theresa and MLK jr didn't believe, then they would go to hell, even though they helped the world so much. I think, if there was a God, that he would be a loving and an understanding God... not some angry spiteful God. I'm sure he would expect there to be non-believers since he hasn't shown undeniable, obvious proof that he exists. I think, no matter who you believe in, that if you lead a good life, being nice to others and helping those in need, that you'll go to heaven no matter what. This is one of the things that bothered my ex-girlfriend... that I wouldnt be in heaven with her when we died. Also, why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe? For me, I would still gladly attend church with her, make necessary compromises, etc. And it also says in the bible that if a believer marries a non-believer, that that non-believer is "saved" and will go to heaven. If I was a Christian, I'd look at that as something that's even better than marrying a Christian... you are saving someone who doesn't believe!

I appreciate your honest seeking. First, it is important to note that we cannot "get to heaven" by our good works. Even though you may think that MLK and Mother Theresa are "good" people, they are only good in your eyes. To God, without Christ they are sinful, not measuring up to the standard of God. Also, I don't think that science and Christianity are incompatible.

The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked (a believer and a non-believer).

Brian

 

[Paul_Wright_luvr]

How can you say this? I dont mean to argue with you are make you angry in any way. But once you are saved you cant be always saved. My Dad is a perfect example of this. He used to go to church and was once a true Christian but now he isnt...He cusses and drinks. Will he still get into Heaven? OF COURSE NOT! Think logically here!

think what u wanna think but obviosly u havnt read the Bible

 

[Paul_Wright_luvr]

How can you say this? I dont mean to argue with you are make you angry in any way. But once you are saved you cant be always saved. My Dad is a perfect example of this. He used to go to church and was once a true Christian but now he isnt...He cusses and drinks. Will he still get into Heaven? OF COURSE NOT! Think logically here!

You obviously have been taught a false prophet because yes...you have sent believe that God sent his only son...but you also, have to a personal relationship with Christ. Without that personal relationship with Christ we are nothing.


This is all in if you really want to follow the Bible. Maybe your Grnadmother is a witness to your Grandfather and that is why God allowed them to be married and it work. But I dated a non-christian for almost a year and it turned out so bad because it wasnt meant to be and I wasnt being the Christian that I was supposed to be, which then in turn allowed me to become who he was. There is a old saying "You are who you hang out with"


What?

read John 10:28-29

i never said that u dont have 2 have a personal relatinship w/ God. i said that u dont necasarilly have 2 go 2 church. is said that u DO have 2 have a personal relationship w/ God because u have 2 believe in his Son and pray 2 ask 4 forgiviness. i dont like u calling my friends family, pastor or the Bible a false prophet and not 2 be rude or anything but u have ticked me off.

also, in the Bible, it says that if u r a Christian u should marry a Christian. i never said that i like my grandma's decision. but, i think that if u love someone who is a non-Christian, you should marry them and help them. you only turn out to be who u hang out with if u arnt a strong person in God.

my explination wuz confusing cuz i ws tired, it was REALLY lat.

how old r u any way??

 

[CWLite]

I am agreeing with what most people are saying. Serapha made a good point. Christianity is the ultimate failsafe "religion" (really a faith). Currantly I am safe in pretty much every religion on earth. I lead a good life, I seek peace, I try not to cause harm to anyone, I follow the tried and true precepts of the bible, I give offering to God, I know and believe in Jesus. I am safe. God fearing Christians ought to be the most confident people on earth, cause we're invincable.

It really disturbs when I hear stories of Christians comprimising the love of Jesus. What that girl did to you was wrong, everyone knows that, and she will answer to God for your unbelief. You DepressedSteve have recieved a counterfiet version of Jesus, and that sucks. Seek the truth and you will find. Study science to its limits and there you will find God, the creator of science.
Blessings

 

[Faith In God]

Ok, I may as well start from the beginning. My mom is a Christian and my dad is Jewish, but neither of them are very religious, and I grew up not going to church and basically our parents let us believe whatever we wanted. So, I grew up believing in science as the answer. Now I am 21, and I need help with some things. Last November I met a girl... the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She went to a Christian college about a half hour away from me. She's a devoted Baptist Christian. I fell in love with her. Anyway, to make a long story short, I became a Christian, we dated, she cheated, broke up with me, I was heart broken, I think she loves me too, I started not believing again, and now here I am, miserable... very much longing for her again. I treated her so nicely... this is just unfair.

Sorry to hear that.

Anyway, now I'm back to believing in science again, and I don't think I'll ever become a Christian again.

Hold it. Why did you backslide? Over the girl? Then you became Christian for the wrong reason, my friend. And as for science :
"A little science estrenges men from God, but more science brings them back to Him." -Louis Pasteur

I know that if me and her ever got back together somehow, that she'd have to love me and accept me for who I am. Now, there are many things that are bothering me about Christians/Christianity. First of all, I think it is ridiculous that everybody who doesnt believe goes to Hell.

Because you look at the end result rather than the reason for it.

That's basically saying that if people like Mother Theresa and MLK jr didn't believe, then they would go to hell, even though they helped the world so much.

The works of men are like rags to cover up nakedness in God's eyes. The very best man can do to offer God as service is worthless in His eyes. How about Martin Luther? He spent 6 hours in confessional. He acknowledged his sinfulness, and he was a devout monk! We have sinned and need God's forgiveness. Those who do not receive this forgiveness will be judged according to their works (boiling down to their sins)

I think, if there was a God, that he would be a loving and an understanding God...

God is loving. He sent His Son to pay for our wretched acts of rebellion. Understanding? God understands, but His standards are not as low as ours. God's very nature demands perfection, and that can only come through His own pardon through Christ.

not some angry spiteful God.

God is angry at sin. If you could see every of the hundreds of thousands of murders that got away every decade, every lie that came upon man's lips, every abomination that was ever committed in every person's life you would think differently.

I'm sure he would expect there to be non-believers since he hasn't shown undeniable, obvious proof that he exists.

...It states in the Word that there is none that are excused from the responsibility of knowing His existance.

I think, no matter who you believe in, that if you lead a good life, being nice to others and helping those in need, that you'll go to heaven no matter what.

Yes. Actually, being good does get you to heaven. But the standard is not yours, but God's, and God's standard is perfection. He cannot expect less, as that would make Him corrupt. What if a judge in civil law lowered the bar of the law because there were more people doing wrong? That judge is corrupt by nature.

This is one of the things that bothered my ex-girlfriend... that I wouldnt be in heaven with her when we died.

What bothers me is how many people will die tonight and go to hell. If only hell wasn't real... but it is.

Also, why exactly dont Christians allow themseleves to date/marry people who don't believe?

first of all, it's dumb. Differences in religion lead to terrible households. Secondly, it's been tried in the past and led to defilement of God's people.

For me, I would still gladly attend church with her, make necessary compromises, etc. And it also says in the bible that if a believer marries a non-believer, that that non-believer is "saved" and will go to heaven.

No no no. First it says that if a believer is married to a non-believer (as in one has been saved after marriage) then God will treat the whole house as saved (ie in earthly judgments, God will spare the house for one.)

If I was a Christian, I'd look at that as something that's even better than marrying a Christian... you are saving someone who doesn't believe!

They aren't saved.

 

[tanya88]

I'm sorry about what happened. I think that you made a mistake though. You shouldn't have became a christian just to get the girl. You become a christian because you love God not because someone you love loves god so you're going to do that too. Thats just my opinion.