If you say "You swear", but lie to protect someone?

[stanilovesGod]

Incredible situation. After i managed my doubds and became good Christian again, i was still unsure whatever i shall contact the guy i once lied to about the personal thing. So i told to my self, i will find a way to tell him (it was about the real age the person was, because he was presenting himself to be different age). So i told myself, i will find a way to reach to the person i once lied to and tell him the truth till the end of 2018. I've lost contact with him. I found him tonight, i was walking at the SAME PLACE i once lied to him, he came out of nowhere. Friendly, not the same bully i knew from couple of years ago. We talked a lot, he also became faithfull Christian. I knew this is a sign. I told him the truth of the age of the person i lied him in the past. He said that he knew, not to worry. This is incredible, i saw him at the edge of 2018, just as i told myself i will do, EXACTLY at the place the lie happened. The person is totally changed. I felt great after that

 

[Acts2:38]

What a wonderful thing to have this weight lifted off of you. I rejoice with you that you had this opportunity granted to you.

 

[Mario David]

When I was a lost boy I would lie and swear. No more but I don't believe I will go to hell for it. I was lost and now I am found, who I was is not who I am.

For forgiveness I asked and I believe is the same for everyone. God loves us all

 

[UnprofitableServant]

Hi friends. I am new to this forum, i had some problems with intrusive thoughts, and thanks to people here i can now say that thanks to you friends and God i am getting rid of those. I also have to say, that for first time in my life, i really feel good connection with God. I've never been devoted Christian in the past, i am 27 years old, i believed in God but never really found myself for Him. Those intrusive thoughts that i have due to my OCD led me here, which i belive was God's plan for me to turn to Him
Now, i want to tell a story that popped into my mind recently. This happened really long ago 4-5 years ago or even maybe more. I was still a kid in a way back then. Again, i was never truly religious person, i believed in God, but never really paid attention to oaths, vows and so on, believing it was man made tools.
There was a secret that i had promised someone to keep. The secret was something personal, it was nothing bad, it was just something that i knew about someone, knew that was personal to him and didn't want to share it with someone else. Now friends of mine was suspecting about this thing and knew i was close to the person i knew this thing about.
So one they one of my so called "friends" conforted me about if i knew about this personal thing, that again had nothing to do with those people. I wanted to keep his secret private so i told them i dont. So he said something like "Do you swear". I dont really remember what happened but i think i said yes. I knew if i said no, i dont want to swear, for them it would if i confirm their suspictions. So in order to protect this person, i may have said Yes i swear. But in my mind, i never accepted that swear, i knew God knew this was the only way they will let go and i will protect the person by not revealing his secret. I think what they did was wrong and they had no right to make me swear, so in my mind the swear was not valid. Also, back than i wasn't that religious and in my mind swearing was a tool for them to find out something that
doesn't concern them so i felt its ok to not tell them the truth. And it passed and i forgot about it because i knew i did the right thing by protecting the person, i knew God would understand. Now, maybe 5 years later, and the fact i am still suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, i am trying to make steps to turn to God again and this thing popped out of nowhere? Do you think i did wrong back then? Should have i tell the truth of refuse to swear- which for those people would be as if i told them what they want to know. The secret i am talking about is nothing bad, its something personal that i dont think they have right to know? I didn't even ask God for forgivness back then because in my mind that wasn't valid because they were using this as tool for getting information which was wrong. Now i years later i feel i may have done wrong so i ask God for forgivness. Do you think that i should now contact those people, years later, and tell them i lied back then? I am certain they have long forgotten years ago, and also i dont want to bring back old things because they will reflect on the person that i was keeping secret about.
I will give you an example of what happened, because some may be confused about my post.

Lets say you have friends who's last name is Dumb (this is just example). You know his name is Dumb but you know if other find out about it they may make fun of him. So bunch of "friends" of yours suspect you know his real name because you are close to this person and ask you- "Is his last name really Dumb?", you ofcourse answer "No, his last name is Daniel (the name he prefers to use)". They say "Really, can you swear?". Now if i say "No, i can't", and since they know i am close to that person, in their heads it will signal that he really is named "Dumb" and will keep harrassing him for it. So i may have said "I swear", i really dont remember it was long ago, but even if i did, in my mind i was thinking "This is not valid, because they are using something Holly like making me swear for wrong purposes", so even if i said yes in my heart i didn't accept that swear. But somehow now, as i started to suffer from mental issues like OCD, it just popped out in my mind as if i did something wrong, and i wonder shall i reach to those people if i can find them and tell them "Do you remember about that person, yes his last name really was Dumb". I feel deep inside that would be wrong thing to do. What do you think friends?
I just want to point out, i wasn't really religious back then, so in my mind Oaths, Vows and other tools had no weight. For me those were just tools to trick someone into telling what others want to hear.

Under the law of Christ, there aren't too many black and white issues, unless Jesus makes it clear.

This, however, seems to be a grey area. Jesus does say not to 'swear', so that is something we want to take seriously. If you didn't know about the scripture then you can't be guilty of sinning, but if you did and willfully disobeyed it, then it would count against you.

I think this whole situation sounds like you gave into fear to your ''friends' back then. I personally would of told them, "yeah I know this secret about this person, but no, I am not going to tell you." If they are true friends then they will accept that, but if they weren't, then they will keep badgering you until they get their answer. If this was the case then what we should do is cut ties with these friends.

If this is what you would have done in the past, then you wouldn't have this doubt in your mind about what you did was wrong or not. I think God brought this to your attention not to deal with the idea of you swearing being wrong, rather the issue is the fear you gave into.

God doesn't give us a spirit of fear, so we need to recognize that when fear creeps into our heart. The next time someone tries to pressure you to do something that you believe is morally wrong, then you should hold your ground, even if they will hurt you if you don't give in. This is the integrity that we are called to have for Christ. A kind of integrity that will die for what we believe in.

If we can't do this in the little things, then we won't be able to do this in the bigger things.

In peace

 

[Tharseo]

Hi friends. I am new to this forum, i had some problems with intrusive thoughts, and thanks to people here i can now say that thanks to you friends and God i am getting rid of those. I also have to say, that for first time in my life, i really feel good connection with God. I've never been devoted Christian in the past, i am 27 years old, i believed in God but never really found myself for Him. Those intrusive thoughts that i have due to my OCD led me here, which i belive was God's plan for me to turn to Him
Now, i want to tell a story that popped into my mind recently. This happened really long ago 4-5 years ago or even maybe more. I was still a kid in a way back then. Again, i was never truly religious person, i believed in God, but never really paid attention to oaths, vows and so on, believing it was man made tools.
There was a secret that i had promised someone to keep. The secret was something personal, it was nothing bad, it was just something that i knew about someone, knew that was personal to him and didn't want to share it with someone else. Now friends of mine was suspecting about this thing and knew i was close to the person i knew this thing about.
So one they one of my so called "friends" conforted me about if i knew about this personal thing, that again had nothing to do with those people. I wanted to keep his secret private so i told them i dont. So he said something like "Do you swear". I dont really remember what happened but i think i said yes. I knew if i said no, i dont want to swear, for them it would if i confirm their suspictions. So in order to protect this person, i may have said Yes i swear. But in my mind, i never accepted that swear, i knew God knew this was the only way they will let go and i will protect the person by not revealing his secret. I think what they did was wrong and they had no right to make me swear, so in my mind the swear was not valid. Also, back than i wasn't that religious and in my mind swearing was a tool for them to find out something that
doesn't concern them so i felt its ok to not tell them the truth. And it passed and i forgot about it because i knew i did the right thing by protecting the person, i knew God would understand. Now, maybe 5 years later, and the fact i am still suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, i am trying to make steps to turn to God again and this thing popped out of nowhere? Do you think i did wrong back then? Should have i tell the truth of refuse to swear- which for those people would be as if i told them what they want to know. The secret i am talking about is nothing bad, its something personal that i dont think they have right to know? I didn't even ask God for forgivness back then because in my mind that wasn't valid because they were using this as tool for getting information which was wrong. Now i years later i feel i may have done wrong so i ask God for forgivness. Do you think that i should now contact those people, years later, and tell them i lied back then? I am certain they have long forgotten years ago, and also i dont want to bring back old things because they will reflect on the person that i was keeping secret about.
I will give you an example of what happened, because some may be confused about my post.

Lets say you have friends who's last name is Dumb (this is just example). You know his name is Dumb but you know if other find out about it they may make fun of him. So bunch of "friends" of yours suspect you know his real name because you are close to this person and ask you- "Is his last name really Dumb?", you ofcourse answer "No, his last name is Daniel (the name he prefers to use)". They say "Really, can you swear?". Now if i say "No, i can't", and since they know i am close to that person, in their heads it will signal that he really is named "Dumb" and will keep harrassing him for it. So i may have said "I swear", i really dont remember it was long ago, but even if i did, in my mind i was thinking "This is not valid, because they are using something Holly like making me swear for wrong purposes", so even if i said yes in my heart i didn't accept that swear. But somehow now, as i started to suffer from mental issues like OCD, it just popped out in my mind as if i did something wrong, and i wonder shall i reach to those people if i can find them and tell them "Do you remember about that person, yes his last name really was Dumb". I feel deep inside that would be wrong thing to do. What do you think friends?
I just want to point out, i wasn't really religious back then, so in my mind Oaths, Vows and other tools had no weight. For me those were just tools to trick someone into telling what others want to hear.

To be honest, I think we need to get rid of the mindset of the law.

Is lying a bad thing? Yes. Is lying ALWAYS a bad thing? No. See Exodus 1:19 and Joshua 2:4-5.

So what is good and what is bad?

1 Corinthians 10:23
“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.

Instead of imposing a law to yourself, you should think like this: what is helpful/can build up others and/or yourself? To me, it seems that your act of not revealing the secrets of others is a noble act (otherwise you would hurt others), and is certainly not a sin.

Of course, I am not diminishing the seriousness of lying. But it is not black and white. Even murder is not always black and white (See 1 Samuel 15:3 and the following). Be freed from the law and follow the Spirit.