If a guy...

[Living4Him03]

If a guy pays, is that a date? What do you think guys? Do you pay when you go out with a gal pal?

 

[Tenorvoice]

Not always but I can say that for most of the younger guys that are a little unshure about there feelings or are just shy, they will most likely feel that it was a date if they pay for it.

But like I said it is not true in every situation.

Peace and joy in The LOrd Jesus Christ

 

[Out of the Flames]

No, it's not a date simply because you pay for it. It should be mutually understood by both parties that it was a date.

I've taken one of my clients to lunch (socially, not business), my treat. But it was NOT a date.

And it's not always the guy that pays for the date. Some men and women are still a little old fashioned like that, and that's cool too, but I'm just as likely to pay for a date as he is.

 

[horuhe00]

Sometimes I pay for my friends and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I pay for some things and sometimes for everything. It depends how I'm feeling and how my wallet's feeling Now, if it's a date, then I pay everyhting.

 

[TriptychR]

I have gal pals that I will spot if they need money and we don't consider it a date.

Of course, they pay me back later.

 

[InnerPhyre]

If a female friend of mine doesn't have money, I'll buy her a meal and it's not considered a date. If she pulls out money to pay, and I grab the check, or if it's understood that she has money, but I'm going to pay anyway, it's usually a date.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

Ok, this kinda doesn't count anymore cos we ARE in a relationship (well, building one anyway), but in the past my flatmate and I would always go out, and he would pay, and he never thought of it as a date - he doesn't like the word anyway.

Usually if he and some friends go out (male OR female), he pays - he's a generous guy and cos he makes more than pretty much all of his friends, he likes to do it.

Yeah - been on heaps of outings with him that others would call dates, but never really thought of them that way. Now, it's a completely different story!

Sasch

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

IMO, "Date" is a symantic(sp) term and doesn't really mean anything.

I went out to lunch with my friend (female) last week. I paid, she's married, was that a date? Because she and her husband don't date other people.

If one of my guy friends and I are eating and I pick up the tab (I do this often), am I now in a gay dating relationship?

If I go out with a girl, and I'm attracted to her and we both feel a spark and there's candles and soft music, and we hold hands and I get a kiss goodnight, but she insisted we split the bill, does that mean it wasn't a date?

(for the record, I always pay on "dates")

 

[Tuffguy]

Yes it is, unless stated otherwise. If he whips out that cash ladies, you're on a date whether you realize it or not.

 

[bkg]

Yes it is, unless stated otherwise. If he whips out that cash ladies, you're on a date whether you realize it or not.

I call BS on this.

If all that defines a date is who pays, I've been on more dates with guys than I have with women! :o:o

One of my best friends and I have this saying when it comes to money "We'll be even by the time we die". And it's true - we usually rotate who pays when we go out for drinks or lunch or... And frankly, that's also true of most of my female friends as well - we just rotate. Half the time it's just easier and faster this way....

 

[Tuffguy]

Like i said,,,unless stated otherwise.

 

[bkg]

Like i said,,,unless stated otherwise.

How about this?

Unless stated, it's NOT a date....

Otherwise I've been "dating" married women, married men, single women, single men and my cat.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Hmmm....it's hard to tell these days. If I take a friend to lunch or dinner, and I pay, I don't consider it a date. If someone takes me to lunch or dinner and pays, I don't always consider it a date. My boss takes me to lunch often and pays. He's married. I certainly hope it isn't a date!

Sometimes when I go out with guy friends, I make a point of paying my way just to make it clear it isn't a date. On the other hand, I have other male friends who always pay for me because they tell me that in the "Man Rule Book", men always pay, but it isn't a date.

I don't think it is a date unless it's understood by both parties that it is a date. Just my opinion.

 

[Stanfi]

Wow, this is a bit confusing,

If it is a date, then I pay. If I just want to be nice to someone, and show them I appreciate their time and company, I would pay, but that wouldn't be date.

If they insist on them paying for themselve, I will let them, I don't want them to be uncomfortable.

One time I was out with a girl and some friends, I paid for everyone. When, I dropped the girl off, she offered to help pay, so maybe that wasn't a date??

 

[Living4Him03]

What if you flirt during the time you are spending, it's just the two of you, and he says "with me you get the whole package"

I guess this whole issue is confusing! I think that if he asks me to spend time with him, offers to pay and won't let me pay, and then asks me to go out again it's a date. But, I guess it depends. It's nice to discuss that sort of thing beforehand or afterwords so that all parties are clear on whether it was or was not a date.

 

[Living4Him03]

I will also add that if I don't want it to be a date I try and make that clear from the get go. I will also try and pay my own way if I'm sure that it's not a date. Just depends! I think it's best to make it clear from the start what your intentions are and if you mind whether it's a date or not. Sometimes it turns into a date lol. You just never know.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Guys still pay for dates? lol!!

I'm with bkg, if all that counts is who pays then I've been on dates mostly with women. eeeew!

It's only a date if both parties agree it's a date.

 

[waterbear]

I've paid for outings with friends of my gender before... those certainly were not dates. I think it depends on the relationship, good friends can cover the expenses of good friends without any greater context, someone is more an associate of yours than an established friend covering the expenses (excluding business of course) would make it seem likely that the associate is establishing a greater context to the relationship - though I'm not sure I'd make any assumptions on the nature of that context.

 

[Sketcher]

No, it's not a date simply because you pay for it. It should be mutually understood by both parties that it was a date.

I've taken one of my clients to lunch (socially, not business), my treat. But it was NOT a date.

By definition it IS a date, even if the friend is of the same gender.

 

[Iggster]

I will also add that if I don't want it to be a date I try and make that clear from the get go. I will also try and pay my own way if I'm sure that it's not a date. Just depends! I think it's best to make it clear from the start what your intentions are and if you mind whether it's a date or not. Sometimes it turns into a date lol. You just never know.

I think it's a very clear signal that you are not out on a date if the girl offers to pay for her own.