If a guy...

[Out of the Flames]

By definition it IS a date, even if the friend is of the same gender.

That's a really sketchy definition (no pun intended).

I consider a date to be any meeting of 2 people of the opposite sex where it is mutually agreed upon that the purpose of the meeting is to explore potential romantic interest. I'd consider anything else to be a social visit, as I considered my client lunch to be. Seeing as how he's a friend and a client, I certainly was not there for the purpose of exploring romantic interest.

 

[Hollypop]

How about this?

Unless stated, it's NOT a date....

Otherwise I've been "dating" married women, married men, single women, single men and my cat.

Oh my I cracked up when I read this... Your cat... LOL

 

[Tuffguy]

I think it's a very clear signal that you are not out on a date if the girl offers to pay for her own.

I disagree. Many girls are independant and at first, the guy paying can seem like a power role to them. I've encountered this before and it was a date.

 

[Tuffguy]

How about this?

Unless stated, it's NOT a date....

Otherwise I've been "dating" married women, married men, single women, single men and my cat.

I think most of us on here assumed we where not talking about cheating, homosexuality, and beastiality. I think you may want to check out another forum.

 

[bkg]

I think most of us on here assumed we where not talking about cheating, homosexuality, and beastiality. I think you may want to check out another forum.

That supports my point - who pays is not the determining factor in the "is this a date?" debate... I believe it has nothing to do with it, as supported by your comment above.

 

[RadG]

I disagree. Many girls are independant and at first, the guy paying can seem like a power role to them. I've encountered this before and it was a date.

Either that or they happen to know that the guy is not in any financial situation where he is able to cover for both of them. I am one such guy where if I were to be in a dating relationship because of my income either we would have to pay our own or she would have to pay; which I would prefer to pay our own over her paying for both. So I guess my stance is if both parties agree it is a date regardless of who pays or how much of the bill they pay.

RadG

 

[Brittany108]

I think it's a very clear signal that you are not out on a date if the girl offers to pay for her own.

Having a female's perspective I have to disagree with this . . .some girls are very independent, others don't feel it is right for the guy to always have to pay or it makes them uncomfortable to not pay for it themselves, while others may know that the guy really shouldn't be spending the money (because of financial hardship).

 

[fishstix]

Yes it is, unless stated otherwise. If he whips out that cash ladies, you're on a date whether you realize it or not.

Guys can pay for a friend's meal without being on a date with her - even if she has the money and even if she offers to pay and even if he isn't just loaning money to be repaid later it doesn't suddenly make having supper together a date just because he pays for both meals. After all, I know of situations where a boyfriend/girlfriend couple and their mutual female friend go for a meal and the guy pays for all three of them. He's hardly on a date with both girls at once...

I think it's a very clear signal that you are not out on a date if the girl offers to pay for her own.

Maybe if it was 1900 or something... Nowadays it is quite common for couples to split the cost of dates or even for the girl to pay for the whole date sometimes. It doesn't mean that it isn't a date, it just means that many women are more independent than they used to be decades ago.

 

[Justin04]

If a guy pays, is that a date? What do you think guys? Do you pay when you go out with a gal pal?

Me personally? uhm a few nights ago I went out with my friend dallas (a girl my age, gal pal)we went to N and Out burger if you care. Its kinda gross but its still a cool hang out. Anyways I payed. Then last night I went out w/ my friend heather same thing and we went to carrows its a breakfast place like ihop or something like that. I payed. Neither were in any way dates.

 

[CyphaPSU]

My favorite phrase to use is:

"You pay, and I'll pray!"

But errr-ahhh...I'm the guy, so I never actually use that phrase...

 

[Tuffguy]

LOL You guys complicated the hell out of this thread. I think its obvious that friends don't date each other no matter who pays.