I want a therapist but can’t get one!

dreadnought · Feb 22, 2018

Celticroots said:
Not worrying is simply not possible if one has a diagnosed( by a professional) anxiety disorder. The brain is simply wired differently.

Or so they say. Jesus told us to have faith.

Caleb22 · Feb 22, 2018

BisonBubbles said:
I have undiagnosed OCD and anxiety too. I have been to psychologists, psychiatrists and pastors for help over the last five years, so here is my advice.

When I spoke with a psychologist (regular counselor) I quickly discovered it was a waste of time. It might have just been the psychologist, but I did not like it at all. He seemed kind of dumb and not particularly helpful. I can normally ramble about my issues, but I felt like he never really reacted to much, or if he did, he told me stuff I already knew and did not find helpful (or he got it wrong). That was in order to sort out a situation with a disturbing friendship I had just ended. I would spend lots of time researching if you were looking for a psychologist, and since your dad is against it, it’s probably not worth it.

Speaking to a psychiatrist was much more helpful, as they are more oriented to give you helpful advice and solve problems. However, their solution will probably involve more medication than therapy. If you need OCD medication it might be good, but I have taken it before (as an antidepressant) and it made me very numb. I am actually going to go back anyway though.

For anxiety and depression, speaking with a pastor has been wayyy more helpful. They gave real, applicable advice that required no medication. I don’t think they could do much with OCD though, unless they have it too. There are also some other Christ-oriented options. I have also solved relationship issues as well as internal issues by turning straight to God via not only praying but listening (meditation). OCD is actually improved by meditation too. I have had significant improvement with my ability to control impulses when I practice meditation in the morning for a few minutes, and it has proven helpful to many others as well. I practice both spiritual listening and the art of focus and relaxation when I meditate. I use the breathing techniques during every day life.

Healing prayer (such as Living Waters) is also super helpful, if that is an option.

So my advice in a nutshell: at least try the pastor and/or a healing prayer program; pray and practice meditation in conjunction with one another; do see a psychiatrist if you are able - a little numb is better than being a complete mess (it doesn’t get better); don’t see a normal psychologist.

Sometimes diet and exercise changes can help too. Try to destress. OCD is at it’s worst when you aren’t taking proper care of yourself (eat, sleep, relax, pray, etc).

Ok. So sorry for being gone for so long. My plan is to talk with my Dad first (not tonight though because it is his birthday and I don't want to stress him out) (I know right it sucks that I'm panicking on his birthday... :\ ) and see if we can agree on something. I could first talk with a pastor, and while that is going on I want to look for a psychiatrist that fits what I like: knows what I'm going through, does things that I'm ok with and that doesn't harm me. When break for school ends maybe ask my counselor for help. During all of this... live a healthy lifestyle and go outside, exercise and spend time with my best friends before they move and I'll never be able hang out with in real life again. And I'll post how I feel and what's going on here. If there is anything I should add just post it!
But before I leave...
Is there any way that I can search for a person that can help me, that fits all the criteria that I like. Or is it a trial and error searching for them?
Have a good night!

Caleb22 · Feb 22, 2018

Caleb22 said:
I watched a movie that had disturbing images in it and ever since it has scarred me and has negatively affected my life. The trauma sticks with me, and I get panic attacks a lot and my thoughts just crumble and the thoughts won’t go away. I want to go to a therapist but my dad always pushes me to go to a pastor or teen leader to help me. But I want professional help! People that work with anxiety head on! I don’t want this! There are no online therapists that are free. I don’t know what to do!!!

Also, I'm never into horror movies what so ever! So when I was at a sleepover, my friends wanted to watch a horror movie. Not me, and they randomly picked a movie and it affected me. ~.~

Dropout_Theologian · Feb 23, 2018

We have said very much tonight, Caleb, but you have some good options. Talk to your school counselor, talk to your pastor, and/or talk to a deeply trusted family member or friend. God is not an idiot; faith, medicine, and science work in unison - pray, talk to a small group of confidants, make smart choices, and then use whatever tools necessary to get better. If at any point you feel you are being hurt by someone who is supposed to help you, simply leave. You are worth feeling better and a more focused soldier is a better fighter for the Lord.

frater_domus · Feb 23, 2018

Caleb22 said:
Yes, it hasn’t worked

Prayers are always heard. However, God has a different mind. A far superior one at that. Sometimes the answer is ‘no’, and sometimes it is silence. Instead of writing it off as ‘doesn’t work’, ask yourself why you got those answers?
Remember the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15? Jesus was silent, yet she persisted and ultimately got what she asked for. It is not because because he wanted to get rid of her. There is a whole study about this topic, but part of the message means to diligently seek the Lord. Or remember Luke 11:5-13, where the guy came at midnight for some bread.
If you are diligent in your prayers and ask for it again and again, it will be granted “according to your faith”. If you give up the first few tries, then maybe your faith is lacking and you need to search your soul.
If the answer is ‘no’, then maybe God wants you to seek a pastor or christian therapist. I agree that secular therapists can cause plenty of damage, but so can a pastor who is insufficiently trained. Sometimes a dear friend can help far more than a therapist. As iron sharpens iron, humans sharpen one another.
Maybe God wants you to grow in faith.

There could be plenty of answers, but all I want to say is that you shouldn’t give up and prayer and always ask yourself what a certain answer means. Prayers always work, but not always according to our will, but God’s will. God’s way is always better though

Long Island Pilgrim · Feb 23, 2018

Celticroots said:
Then don't go to one that uses treatment methods you don't agree with. Oh, and a therapist cannot force a client to do anything if the client does not wish to.

It's very rare that people go to a therapist with the intension of reviewing and investingating treatment methods. Even in my thirties I didn't have the insight to persue that type "interview" consultation and most people who are seeking help are vulnerable and looking for support. We have an entire global population of adult people who have been unknowingly steered into dangerous organizations and hidden occult spiritual practices by sometimes well intensioned secular "therapists". This OP is a younger person seeking help so I think our advice should be mindful of his age and and that we go to great care not to lead him to secular therapists and make assumptions that such a young person would be able to discern between appropriate and innappropriate (so called) therapeudic practices.

GirdYourLoins · Feb 23, 2018

First thing you meed to do is pray and repent of watching a movie that was so disturbing. To have affected you so badly it clearly was not something a Christian should watch. I do watch horror films but apply some discernment to them and dont watch ones I feel are inappropriate. Its clearly playing on your mind and may be that God has put it on your mind to convict you of continuing to watch something that is clearly not right for you. Repent and ask for him to heal you of the affect it has had on you and expect you will start to feel better, although you can ever unsee what you have seen whatever it was.

Bluerose31 · Feb 23, 2018

Celticroots said:
I have OCD (diagnosed by a professional.) I would not go to a pastor discuss something like OCD. One, pastors are not licensed counselors which often requires years of extensive schooling, requiring at least a Master's Degree. Second, the church has had a very poor track record of dealing with people who have mental illnesses as well as other serious issues like abuse.

Third, OCD if often a life-long thing. The best one can do is learn to manage it with a combination of the right medication and therapy. I praise God for putting the right people in my life to help me manage my OCD, help me know that it's an illness that doesn't define me, and live a happy life in spite of it.

Thank you for sharing about your struggle with me. I will pray that Lord gives you the right counselor to help with your OCD. A therapist that you feel comfortable with and that will help you whenever you need it.

Caleb22 · Feb 23, 2018

Bluerose31 said:
Thank you for sharing about your struggle with me. I will pray that Lord gives you the right counselor to help with your OCD. A therapist that you feel comfortable with and that will help you whenever you need it.

There are things that I'm going through that I don't want to discuss with my Dad, because it's stuff that he'll find strange but a professional will find normal.

Bluerose31 · Feb 23, 2018

Caleb22 said:
There are things that I'm going through that I don't want to discuss with my Dad, because it's stuff that he'll find strange but a professional will find normal.

That makes complete sense to me Caleb. I will pray you find the right therapist for you. Blessings.

Caleb22 · Feb 23, 2018

Bluerose31 said:
That makes complete sense to me Caleb. I will pray you find the right therapist for you. Blessings.

Thank you!

Vicomte13 · Feb 23, 2018

Caleb22 said:
Are there any other options that may be free?

Yes. This isn't a joke. I've read the thread and see what is going on, and see lots of good advice given here on the psychological side, and I understand that your parents have a certain view and resistance to certain kinds of counselling or therapy.

I'm coming at you from a completely different direction, and I think in your case this may well help you better than the other options, and may be more doable, because it doesn't require anybody else's cooperation.

Let me ask you five simple questions:
(1) Do you like salmon?
(2) Do you like oysters?
(3) Do you like plums, prunes, apples or almonds?
(4) Do you like asparagus?
(5) Do you drink coffee, tea or soda pop?

Since you're not getting anywhere on therapists, and you're suffering with anxiety, and you are in danger of telling people about it and getting hurt further, here is what I recommend you do - it barely needs parental permission.

First, if you drink anything with caffeine in it - stop. Don't go cold turkey, you'll get a terrible headache for three days. If you drink soda pop, switch to coffee for a week. If you drink coffee, switch to tea. And if you're just a tea drinker, switch to water or coconut water. Get the caffeine out of your system, and get the fake sugar out of your system. These things are known to cause anxiety.

Second, next time your family makes a grocery run, go with them and buy a can or two of oysters. Smoked oysters are fine. Oysters are full of zinc. Eat 2 or 3 a day - no MORE than that, because they are SO full of zinc you'll end up accumulating too much of it in your system if you eat more than three a day. Sure, you could eat 21 a week, but don't. Don't eat a can a week, eat a few a day. Two things will happen for sure. First, if you have acne, it will clear up rather quickly. If you're a teenage BOY it will really clear up acne (no need to discuss the mechanism as to why). Second, most Americans are zinc deficient, zinc deficiency makes us prone to skin breakouts and nervous disorders. Oysters have more zinc in them than other food in the world (and they taste good). Get the caffeine out of your system and the zinc into your system and you will feel better mentally.

Third, buy some cans of Sockeye Salmon. If they don't have Sockeye, buy Pink Salmon. Sockeye tastes better, but getting the salmon is the important thing. Eat at least 4 ounces of it (that's a little over a half a can) every day, or a can every two days). This will fill your Vitamin D requirement, and your Omega-3 fatty acid requirement. Vitamin D is a hormone and you need a lot of it. Vitamin D deficiency is a well-known source of anxiety and depression, and most Americans are deficient. Omega-3 fatty acids, and particularly the DHA and EPA in fish oil are tonic for the whole nervous system. They will make you healthier and make you smarter. Salmon is very high in Omega-3 fatty acids. Sockeye salmon has more Vitamin D in it than any other food in the world except for Cod Liver Oil (which is nasty).

Fourth: Eat asparagus. Asparagus has been eaten as an anti-anxiety food for a long, long time.

Fifth: Eat apples, plums, prunes, cherries and almonds.

A can of oysters is $2 and will last a week. A can of Sockeye salmon is about $3.50, and three will last a week.

If you do this, even if you never get to see a psychologist or therapist, chances are you will have clear skin, a much sharper mind, and your anxiety will diminish substantially.

paul becke · Feb 23, 2018

GirdYourLoins said:
First thing you meed to do is pray and repent of watching a movie that was so disturbing. To have affected you so badly it clearly was not something a Christian should watch. I do watch horror films but apply some discernment to them and dont watch ones I feel are inappropriate. Its clearly playing on your mind and may be that God has put it on your mind to convict you of continuing to watch something that is clearly not right for you. Repent and ask for him to heal you of the affect it has had on you and expect you will start to feel better, although you can ever unsee what you have seen whatever it was.

I am afraid you are incorrect. Completely. I read that Mother Theresa suffered spiritual torment (which sounds uncommonly like OCD) on her death bed, as did another nun friend dying of cancer.

I don't want to scare the lad, but I believe it is what the RC church designates as 'spiritual torment'. I suffer from it, and with many aggravating factors, making it a nightmare within a nightmare. But by the grace of God, I never doubt God's presence and that he's OK'd it, so I manage ; it worries me, especially as it affects others, but it cannot, itself, depress me deeply or for long.

Although prayers can actually make it worse at times, at least, momentarily, they and daily attendance at Mass are my main-stays, and keep me cheerful, even joyful.

The medical profession do not understand it, but can help moderate anxiety with tranquilizers.

You can email me if you want to gibber about it. Anyway, every best wish to you and yours.

Caleb22 · Feb 23, 2018

Angeldove97 said:
I do include going to church and reading the Bible or another devotion to help me work through what I deal with.

Will those help me to understand why I have these things going on? No, they won't. I learned more about the science about what I'm going through and how medication or habits can help alleviate the symptoms these diseases have through reading research and talking to others (doctors, patients, etc).

And that is OKAY. My religion/theology does not need to fix my physical and mental issues. God made us smart enough to know about science and how to care for ourselves. No need to deny it.

I went to my Dad and talked about how I need some professional help... ANYBODY! He then lectured me... told me I’m lazy and don’t spend any time with God. I have been though... everyday... he doesn’t know my pain. We came to an agreement and said that I could talk to my pastor. I don’t know anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart! This ANXIETY IS KILLING ME!!! Im getting NO HELP FROM MY DAD! All he tells me to do is read my Bible, pray, etc... I don’t want to tell him I have OCD because he will misinterpret it, the term OCD is thrown around and misused. I really don’t know who to listen to right now...

ladodgers6 · Feb 23, 2018

Caleb22 said:
I watched a movie that had disturbing images in it and ever since it has scarred me and has negatively affected my life. The trauma sticks with me, and I get panic attacks a lot and my thoughts just crumble and the thoughts won’t go away. I want to go to a therapist but my dad always pushes me to go to a pastor or teen leader to help me. But I want professional help! People that work with anxiety head on! I don’t want this! There are no online therapists that are free. I don’t know what to do!!!

Sometimes, you need to tell somebody that will listen, without judging you. Somebody that understands your situation you are going through, and it okay to have anxiety on something that shook you. You are not alone, little one. But if you want a professional then seek one out. But do your homework, and make sure its not someone that will take advantage of you.

Caleb22 · Feb 23, 2018

ladodgers6 said:
Sometimes, you need to tell somebody that will listen, without judging you. Somebody that understands your situation you are going through, and it okay to have anxiety on something that shook you. You are not alone, little one. But if you want a professional then seek one out. But do your homework, and make sure its not someone that will take advantage of you.

I can’t get a professional, my Dad won’t let me... I told my Dad about the problem and all he did was judge me.

ladodgers6 · Feb 24, 2018

Caleb22 said:
I can’t get a professional, my Dad won’t let me... I told my Dad about the problem and all he did was judge me.

Sorry to hear. Is he also a Baptist?

ladodgers6 · Feb 24, 2018

How old are you? If you do not mind me asking?

Caleb22 · Feb 24, 2018

ladodgers6 said:
Sorry to hear. Is he also a Baptist?

Yes

ladodgers6 said:
How old are you? If you do not mind me asking?

In highschool

Just had a sleepless night...

bluegreysky · Feb 24, 2018

This probably won’t be the most Christian advice out there but have you tried rationalizing the whole thing?
Besides prayer, sit down close your eyes and tell yourself “this was Hollywood. It was acting. It was special effects. It’s not real. The monsters in it are not real. The people and the location are real but they were just playing a role. This whole thing was just a portrayal of the inside of some director’s sick mind. No one was actually killed.” If you remind yourself of that enough, you start to picture the whole thing as broken down into its parts ... the actors, the special effects, the Hollywood set... and you can place those parts in a box in your mind and seal them in there and throw the box away.

I used to get disturbed my movies when I was a teen. “The grudge” came out when I was 17 and my boyfriend at the time wanted us to go see it on the big screen. Big mistake, I couldn’t sleep alone for weeks, had to sleep in my moms bed and I was 17 lol. Gradually by rationalizing the whole thing, I stopped being afraid of it and when I was 23 and my now husband was watching it at home I just laughed at how stupid it all was and the rediculous special effects.

I want a therapist but can’t get one!

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