I want a therapist but can’t get one!

[Angeldove97]

I've heard of these things while I was in high school...hmmm aren't there therapists in high schools?

Not every school can afford a therapist to help out the students. We can provide guidance counselors but most districts have a support system to "bump it up" to a therapist - just not inside the schools. Remember some of these therapists make $80k - $100k or more a year. Most districts cannot afford that. I work in private schools (for rich families) and most private schools do not have one.

 

[Angeldove97]

Hey Caleb, sorry if we've been overwhelming. If you chose one person to in this thread to listen to chose the lady with the pink sparkles. Seriously.

Thank you. For decades I've dealt with "stuff" and had no clue why. Older and "wiser" haha I can see why Christ brought me through these paths. I can't tell you how humbling it is and thankful I am that I have walked through this.

 

[Drifter Kybe Scythe Kane]

Not every school can afford a therapist to help out the students. We can provide guidance counselors but most districts have a support system to "bump it up" to a therapist - just not inside the schools. Remember some of these therapists make $80k - $100k or more a year. Most districts cannot afford that. I work in private schools (for rich families) and most private schools do not have one.

Thanks for the info.

 

[Bluerose31]

I watched a movie that had disturbing images in it and ever since it has scarred me and has negatively affected my life. The trauma sticks with me, and I get panic attacks a lot and my thoughts just crumble and the thoughts won’t go away. I want to go to a therapist but my dad always pushes me to go to a pastor or teen leader to help me. But I want professional help! People that work with anxiety head on! I don’t want this! There are no online therapists that are free. I don’t know what to do!!!

I am sorry you are suffering. I understand. I am very careful what movies I watch because I am scarred my movies easily. I would recommend you to speak with your pastor about it once a week till you are healed of it. He will be able to help you just like a therapist can, but he is free. I feel it will help you a lot.

 

[devin553344]

I watched a movie that had disturbing images in it and ever since it has scarred me and has negatively affected my life. The trauma sticks with me, and I get panic attacks a lot and my thoughts just crumble and the thoughts won’t go away. I want to go to a therapist but my dad always pushes me to go to a pastor or teen leader to help me. But I want professional help! People that work with anxiety head on! I don’t want this! There are no online therapists that are free. I don’t know what to do!!!

I agree and if you need therapy for anxiety, you will need a "psychiatrist" probably for anxiety meds if the problem persists, not a psychologist. If you go to a psychiatrist you will save money. Which is because a psychologist will probably refer you to a psychiatrist.

Frankly prayer will probably not work because God created doctors for that, not prayer. Sometimes the brain gets off chemically and we need medications to bring the brain back to a balanced chemistry. That's what the medicine is all about. Once the brain chems get back to balance you should feel better.

You will find a lot of prayer help on this forum, but prayer doesn't fix mental disorders like you're describing, medicine does.

I've dealt with anxiety and panic disorder myself and I'm aware that it isn't fun nor funny nor something to take lightly. It can destroy your life, so please seek help before it causes damage in your life.

 

[Theodoric]

What do you think a 14 year old should do in this situation?

Honestly, you're still under the authority of your parents, so biblically (and legally I think it's worth mentioning) you need to honor them and respect their views whether or not you agree with them.

I can't speak to the relationship you have with your parents; the best thing would be to talk honestly and openly with your father about what you have experienced and how you feel about it. Ask him to consider a referral for counselling outside of your family church; there are Christian resources available and in some cases there may not be much or any expense if they are running as a ministry instead of a Christian oriented business.

You might consider having him read this thread, if he would be open to it.

 

[DominicBaptiste]

I watched a movie that had disturbing images in it and ever since it has scarred me and has negatively affected my life. The trauma sticks with me, and I get panic attacks a lot and my thoughts just crumble and the thoughts won’t go away. I want to go to a therapist but my dad always pushes me to go to a pastor or teen leader to help me. But I want professional help! People that work with anxiety head on! I don’t want this! There are no online therapists that are free. I don’t know what to do!!!

I know people who go to mental health providers who only charge $5. It probably depends though on where you live and how big the city is. You might just go to the regular doctor and tell them that you were wanting to to get a referral to a low cost mental health practitioner. The first line treatment for anxiety is usually anti-depressants, and your regular doctor can actually write you a prescription for that, if you talked to them and they agreed that your anxiety was serious enough. The therapist would do more talk therapy kind of stuff. If you wanted to skip the doctor all together, you could go to Walmart and buy St. John's Wort. They're in the supplement isle with the vitamins. They're really popular in German speaking countries, and I've read that research from those countries tends to support that they work more than studies from other countries. Some sources I've read online said they are better than regular anti-depressants. Their main side effect is sensitivity to light, so you might have to wear sun glasses more. As far as scary movies, I would just stop watching them all together. I don't watch TV or new movies, but I do watch nicer things that I look up on youtube. You don't have to be interested in pop culture just because other people are producing it. I think some people have the idea that because something is popular that you should be interested in it, but if it's garbage, mark it as such and don't watch it. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Spring-Valley-St-John-s-Wort-Capsules-300-mg-150-Ct/10416614

 

[dqhall]

I watched a movie that had disturbing images in it and ever since it has scarred me and has negatively affected my life. The trauma sticks with me, and I get panic attacks a lot and my thoughts just crumble and the thoughts won’t go away. I want to go to a therapist but my dad always pushes me to go to a pastor or teen leader to help me. But I want professional help! People that work with anxiety head on! I don’t want this! There are no online therapists that are free. I don’t know what to do!!!

Horror scenes were part of the dark side, the occult. One is supposed to worship the light. There should be better things to watch than terror scenes. Why revisit memories of the scene of the crime? Think of good things not bad.

 

[Kenny'sID]

Caleb, I'm going to make this short and hopefully I can then leave it alone...you shouldn't have to pay for Christian advice, and I would be extremely leery of anyone that tried to sell me on something like that. You're just as well off here, and these people want nothing from you.

Now on to the important stuff, has anyone asked you about the movie? What did it entail? Why did it scare you? Sorry, I didn't read the whole thread, but if not, would you like to tell us the details?

 

[Kenny'sID]

All depending on your income you may well be able to get help through the state for free.

 

[Angeldove97]

Leery of professionals who know what they are talking about? I would not be. Please stop telling him not to get professional help for what he is going through. Nobody is putting down that he grows his relationship with Christ, but he may really need to talk to a professional about this. It's not worth risking his life because some of us feel the need to tell him that Christ comes first. Just because you get a therapist does not mean you are denying your parents (REALLY!?!) or Christ.

 

[Angeldove97]

Honestly, you're still under the authority of your parents, so biblically (and legally I think it's worth mentioning) you need to honor them and respect their views whether or not you agree with them.

No... no no. There is NOTHING Biblical that says a child has to listen to their parents when it comes to taking care of their mental health. He is not disrespecting his Dad if he decides to keep it to himself and first talk to a professional.

Perhaps he's in a situation where his dad does not want him to get any help? He might go further down the "rabbit hole" with no real help.

 

[Celticroots]

Well, many pastors are trained professionally in counselling, would it have to be your pastor, or would your dad consider letting you go to a church cross-denominationally for counselling? That may be a reasonable compromise.

Also, be careful what you wish for. Many secular therapists will not help. At all. They'll just further confuse you.

I see a secular therapist and she has helped me tremendously. Also, secular does not automatically mean atheist. I'd just say a therapist who is not hired through a church organization.

I honestly would not see a Christian counselor unless they went through all the extensive schooling to be a licensed counselor, and had the appropriate understanding of what causes mental health issues like depression and anxiety. (Not sin.)

I also wouldn't see one unless they worked with many people with the issues that I am seeing them for.

 

[Celticroots]

How about faith? Jesus taught us not to worry.

Not worrying is simply not possible if one has a diagnosed( by a professional) anxiety disorder. The brain is simply wired differently.

 

[Celticroots]

I don't know, because I'm not quite sure if my pastor can help me. I'm just really confused and don't know what to do. I'm on my own at this point and I just want help to rid this anxiety. I think it might be OCD but I haven't been diagnosed with it.

I would be very leery of going to a pastor for counseling. They are not trained to deal with OCD or any other mental illnesses. And some churches often give terrible advice to those struggling with mental health issues like depression or anxiety, which often makes the problem worse.

If you think you have OCD, it would be good to talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist about it to make sure you actually have it. Do not diagnose yourself.

A licensed counselor or psychologist would be your best bet. They exist for a reason.

I am not saying you absolutely should not go to a Christian counselor. What I am saying is please check their credentials and look up how much schooling you need to be a professional counselor. Look for someone who has extensive experience helping people with the issues you're struggling with.

If a Christian counselor ever says mental illnesses are a result of some sin in your life, run, do not walk away from there.

Your mental health is too important to take lightly.

 

[Celticroots]

Your darn right Theodoric. Secular therapists can do even far more harm than simply confuse you. They may even offer hypnosis or some other deeply problematic "therapy".

Then don't go to one that uses treatment methods you don't agree with. Oh, and a therapist cannot force a client to do anything if the client does not wish to.

 

[Celticroots]

What do you think a 14 year old should do in this situation?

Do your homework on what type of therapist you would prefer (Christian or secular) Please do not let people talk you out of a secular therapist if you find one you click with. Secular could simply mean not hired for counseling through a church. That does not mean the person is an atheist.

Although I understand who hard it is if you don't have insurance. Are you on your parents' insurance?

 

[Celticroots]

I feel for you man. I have been going to an OCD specialist for about a month now. Since she is a professional, she knows things that pastors don't know. The only problem is that she recomends actions that I believe are unbiblical. I'm very sad about this because I might stop seeing her.

Personally, I'm hoping that much prayer and bible study will help. " Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counselors" Psalms 119:24



Maybe try to find an OCD specialist who is a believer and won't ask you to do unbiblical stuff. I havent found one yet but that doesn't mean they're not out there. " Blessed is the man who walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly..." * some of the things the therapist I've been seeing has told me are very helpful and not bad. But she wanted me to try going to a different kind of church or maybe a buddhist temple just to get over a fear I have of leaving the church I've been going to. There's other things too. I really hope you find help from someone and keep praying and studying, I know how it feels and it's terrible sometimes. And stay away from movies! Some of them will even seem fine for the most part but because they're made by worldly people they will put in worldy stuff. Documentaries can be cool sometimes or nature films though.

Staying away from all movies? Not at all healthy to me. If you start watching something that you don't agree with, turn it off. Second with OCD, avoiding one particular thing like movies will not help, as OCD will use anything to make you miserable.

Also, what actions are they suggesting you do that are unbiblical? Have you actually read about what is recommended treatment for OCD?

 

[Celticroots]

I am sorry you are suffering. I understand. I am very careful what movies I watch because I am scarred my movies easily. I would recommend you to speak with your pastor about it once a week till you are healed of it. He will be able to help you just like a therapist can, but he is free. I feel it will help you a lot.

I have OCD (diagnosed by a professional.) I would not go to a pastor discuss something like OCD. One, pastors are not licensed counselors which often requires years of extensive schooling, requiring at least a Master's Degree. Second, the church has had a very poor track record of dealing with people who have mental illnesses as well as other serious issues like abuse.

Third, OCD if often a life-long thing. The best one can do is learn to manage it with a combination of the right medication and therapy. I praise God for putting the right people in my life to help me manage my OCD, help me know that it's an illness that doesn't define me, and live a happy life in spite of it.

 

[BisonBubbles]

I don't know, because I'm not quite sure if my pastor can help me. I'm just really confused and don't know what to do. I'm on my own at this point and I just want help to rid this anxiety. I think it might be OCD but I haven't been diagnosed with it.

I have undiagnosed OCD and anxiety too. I have been to psychologists, psychiatrists and pastors for help over the last five years, so here is my advice.

When I spoke with a psychologist (regular counselor) I quickly discovered it was a waste of time. It might have just been the psychologist, but I did not like it at all. He seemed kind of dumb and not particularly helpful. I can normally ramble about my issues, but I felt like he never really reacted to much, or if he did, he told me stuff I already knew and did not find helpful (or he got it wrong). That was in order to sort out a situation with a disturbing friendship I had just ended. I would spend lots of time researching if you were looking for a psychologist, and since your dad is against it, it’s probably not worth it.

Speaking to a psychiatrist was much more helpful, as they are more oriented to give you helpful advice and solve problems. However, their solution will probably involve more medication than therapy. If you need OCD medication it might be good, but I have taken it before (as an antidepressant) and it made me very numb. I am actually going to go back anyway though.

For anxiety and depression, speaking with a pastor has been wayyy more helpful. They gave real, applicable advice that required no medication. I don’t think they could do much with OCD though, unless they have it too. There are also some other Christ-oriented options. I have also solved relationship issues as well as internal issues by turning straight to God via not only praying but listening (meditation). OCD is actually improved by meditation too. I have had significant improvement with my ability to control impulses when I practice meditation in the morning for a few minutes, and it has proven helpful to many others as well. I practice both spiritual listening and the art of focus and relaxation when I meditate. I use the breathing techniques during every day life.

Healing prayer (such as Living Waters) is also super helpful, if that is an option.

So my advice in a nutshell: at least try the pastor and/or a healing prayer program; pray and practice meditation in conjunction with one another; do see a psychiatrist if you are able - a little numb is better than being a complete mess (it doesn’t get better); don’t see a normal psychologist.

Sometimes diet and exercise changes can help too. Try to destress. OCD is at it’s worst when you aren’t taking proper care of yourself (eat, sleep, relax, pray, etc).