I' totally Lost

[bannaboat101]

Yeah I'm really lost and don't have the fainest Idea what to do. I'm not feeling any type of change in me and I don't even see it. My girlfriend broke up with me and I have a crush on this guy and I'm supposed to be changing and this definatly isn't changing.

I have 100 people telling me what to do. 50% are telling me to change and the other 50% is telling me that I can't do it and I'm born like this and I'm stuck right in the middle of the whole thing.

I don't now what to do. Every night for the last past four days I've been crying to God asking why is he not changing me, why is he putting this burden on me.

I want to believe that he is changing me and working on me but it has been almost a year since I tried to figure out how to change and my faith is falling down which I don't want to fall down. I do love God with my whole heart but I want him to love me back.

I don't even know who I am anymore better yet my place in this world. I don't even know what God wants from me. I do feel like that he wants me to stay this way but I don't know.

How can you tell when God is actually helping, letting you now, showing, and telling you what he wants? How?

I'm really scared because I want God to be able to say well done my son you did my will. But I don't know if it is possible to enter his kingdom this way. I don't know anymore.

 

[goldenviolet]

trust God's timing hun. changing sometimes means to learn lessons to help us through life's temptations.
you know what it says in the bible about same sex desires. so, there's your truth. God always helps us. searchiong truth daily is something even the strongest of us christains do everything will work out through Jesus.

 

[Akathist]

One of the problems could be that you have this belief that if you pray hard enough God will change you.

I believe that God will give you the tools and supports you need to change. But that you have to work through these available resources.

Tell those people in your life who say that you can not change that you don't need that kind of talk. Find a minister who is willing to guide you and help you make the changes you need to make in your thinking. Stay away from those who discourage you from trying to change.

God could heal you. But my experience is that most of the time God wants us to do the work of changing because it is good for our souls. It is good to learn to control our passions.

God loves you and wants you to over come this. He is your Shepherd and will guide you but you must seek that guidance. Stay in the word of God. Seek out a minister for help, stay in Church, fellowship with straight Christian friends. Pray Pray pray pray pray!

AND never give up. This is a long race you are on! Stay strong!

 

[graceabounding]

Hi bannaboat101,

I too have prayed for many years that God might heal me from these struggles. I wondered why God didn't take these attractions away. I really didn't want them. I figured if I did all the right things God would answer my prayers. I went to church, read my bible, avoided the situations that might tempt me, yet the feelings remained.

I always knew that God could heal me in an instant. One thing I never considered that perhaps God may say no, or not right now. I'm reminded of Paul's thorn in the flesh, which he pleaded with God to remove. His answer was "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."

One day I will be free of these attractions, but it may not be until Glory. God has used my struggles to be a blessing to others. It keeps me humble before men, and keeps my boast in the cross of Christ, and not in myself.

Don't lose heart, God still loves you. He will move in your life, please don't give up hope. He will never leave you nor forsake you, and will withhold no good thing from you.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

I wish someone would consider giving this kid a different response. I would if i could. I have no response. To say God wants to leave this kid a Homosexual as a thorn in the flesh is a dicouraging answer. I under stand this kids plight, I too am in the same situation but I am older. I am very close to moving on and living my life as a gay man. I have no other alternative, This Non Life of pretending I am not gay is taking its toll on me Psychologically. It has left me stressed and anxious. I have no personal intimate life and the desire for one is leaving me without an alternative. When one makes a decision to change, one needs a real choice pr alternative. To live life alone without companionship pr intimacy is not an alternative, it is a sentence. I feel so bad for this kid. IT TEARS MY HEART OUT to see this over and over again and to hear the usual lame responses. I don't purposely challenge God, so why would he want to condemn me, for just wanting a life of peace and some companionship. Someone help this kid .

 

[ascribe2thelord]

Yeah I'm really lost and don't have the fainest Idea what to do. I'm not feeling any type of change in me and I don't even see it. My girlfriend broke up with me and I have a crush on this guy and I'm supposed to be changing and this definatly isn't changing.

I have 100 people telling me what to do. 50% are telling me to change and the other 50% is telling me that I can't do it and I'm born like this and I'm stuck right in the middle of the whole thing.

I don't now what to do. Every night for the last past four days I've been crying to God asking why is he not changing me, why is he putting this burden on me.

I want to believe that he is changing me and working on me but it has been almost a year since I tried to figure out how to change and my faith is falling down which I don't want to fall down. I do love God with my whole heart but I want him to love me back.

I don't even know who I am anymore better yet my place in this world. I don't even know what God wants from me. I do feel like that he wants me to stay this way but I don't know.

How can you tell when God is actually helping, letting you now, showing, and telling you what he wants? How?

I'm really scared because I want God to be able to say well done my son you did my will. But I don't know if it is possible to enter his kingdom this way. I don't know anymore.

The problem is in the breakup. You had the girlfriend for security right? Don't do that. It never works.

Crushes are a symptom of being under the age of 20. Go against your will, and you will find God's.

 

[goldenviolet]

I wish someone would consider giving this kid a different response. I would if i could. I have no response. To say God wants to leave this kid a Homosexual as a thorn in the flesh is a dicouraging answer. I under stand this kids plight, I too am in the same situation but I am older. I am very close to moving on and living my life as a gay man. I have no other alternative, This Non Life of pretending I am not gay is taking its toll on me Psychologically. It has left me stressed and anxious. I have no personal intimate life and the desire for one is leaving me without an alternative. When one makes a decision to change, one needs a real choice pr alternative. To live life alone without companionship pr intimacy is not an alternative, it is a sentence. I feel so bad for this kid. IT TEARS MY HEART OUT to see this over and over again and to hear the usual lame responses. I don't purposely challenge God, so why would he want to condemn me, for just wanting a life of peace and some companionship. Someone help this kid .

my post is to address you and him i guess we really don't know what he needs. we are trying to help.
moderators pray alot for members too. i hear from you that your response to him and us is that you understand on a personal level. this isn't my personal trials; but i'm mentally ill. it is my thorn. in another way of saying it;
it's my burden or my cross to bear daily. i wasn't healled. so i learned to except it and manage my struggles. i always hpoe that it will be taken from me though. God does catch out attention and draw us close by our struggles. so, no one is saying that struggles are permanate. saying that out trials are our thorn is another way of saying, if God doesn't heal you, then He wants you to manage your temptations and trials to bring you close. this is what Paul told us when He told of his torn.

God bless us all to be drawn closer!

 

[TexasSky]

I do love God with my whole heart but I want him to love me back.

I'm really scared because I want God to be able to say well done my son you did my will. But I don't know if it is possible to enter his kingdom this way. I don't know anymore.

Grab onto this scripture, and whatever else happens in your life, claim this scripture in your heart.

Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

My struggles are not the same as yours, but everyone on this earth struggles with some temptation and sin in their life. For some people it is gossip, for others it is hate, for others it is sexual.

God knows this, and He loves us EVEN when we sin.

Certainly, all of us who read our bibles have formed our own opinions on what we believe the bible teaches in regards to your particular struggle. Only God in heaven knows if we are right.

God has promised that whoever hungers and thirsts after righteousness will be filled. Maybe your prayer, rather than "change me," should be, "God show me what you want from me and help me do what you want me to do."

He loves you back.

The world may not, and He may think certain behavior is wrong and sinful, but He loves you, and He will know that you WANT to please Him, and that you love Him, and God has said, "The greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God."

His bible teaches that all the other commandments hinge on love.

God bless you, and anyone else struggling so hard with this issue.

Please, don't let it tear you from God. Keep loving Him, and keeping asking Him to show you what He wants from you, and how to give Him what He wants from you.

Trust Him to love you back.

 

[graceabounding]

I wish someone would consider giving this kid a different response. I would if i could. I have no response. To say God wants to leave this kid a Homosexual as a thorn in the flesh is a dicouraging answer. I under stand this kids plight, I too am in the same situation but I am older. I am very close to moving on and living my life as a gay man. I have no other alternative, This Non Life of pretending I am not gay is taking its toll on me Psychologically. It has left me stressed and anxious. I have no personal intimate life and the desire for one is leaving me without an alternative. When one makes a decision to change, one needs a real choice pr alternative. To live life alone without companionship pr intimacy is not an alternative, it is a sentence. I feel so bad for this kid. IT TEARS MY HEART OUT to see this over and over again and to hear the usual lame responses. I don't purposely challenge God, so why would he want to condemn me, for just wanting a life of peace and some companionship. Someone help this kid .

Eastcoast_bsc,

It tears my heart out as well to see so many struggling with homosexuality. I know it hasn't been easy for me, and I know it has been painful for you as well. I truly am sorry you have to endure it.

Intimacy does not have to be physical. I have met my best friends on this site and they know me far better than anyone else in my life. I can share anything with them. They love, they do not condemn. I have found acceptance and peace from my Brothers and Sisters in Christ. I no longer feel like a reject or a freak. I am actually comfortable now being me.

It would be nice to be able to express my feelings physically, but God's Word clearly does not allow that. Both hetero and homosexuals have to express themselves God's way. We have to trust Him. He has promised us His best, but we often don't know what that is ourselves.

I have acted on my feelings in the past. I have experienced the emptiness the gay lifestyle brings. God is my only hope to deliver me. I know I can't do it on my own.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

Eastcoast_bsc,

It tears my heart out as well to see so many struggling with homosexuality. I know it hasn't been easy for me, and I know it has been painful for you as well. I truly am sorry you have to endure it.

Intimacy does not have to be physical. I have met my best friends on this site and they know me far better than anyone else in my life. I can share anything with them. They love, they do not condemn. I have found acceptance and peace from my Brothers and Sisters in Christ. I no longer feel like a reject or a freak. I am actually comfortable now being me.

It would be nice to be able to express my feelings physically, but God's Word clearly does not allow that. Both hetero and homosexuals have to express themselves God's way. We have to trust Him. He has promised us His best, but we often don't know what that is ourselves.

I have acted on my feelings in the past. I have experienced the emptiness the gay lifestyle brings. God is my only hope to deliver me. I know I can't do it on my own.

I guess my point is that I don't struggle with Homosexuality as much as i struggle with the whole Christian thing. I am having a hard time lately wrapping myself around this idea that God Loves me but if I don't do what he says, I will burn in Hell. I could not imagine God disowning me for trying to play the hand i was dealt in life. I am also having a hard time with scripture. I have read all the various camps interpetations of scripture and it leaves me confused. I have read the greek says this or does not say that, Context means everything. I also keep hearing that relationships do not have to be sexual, But that is not the point. Most adults move on and have meaningful intimate relationships with a significant other. But at some point we all have a need to be loved and validated as a human being. My lack of this is causing me much grief and distress. But anyway, I wish som eone could say to this young kid, that everything is going to be allright. He is only 16. He needs some hope of a decent life.

 

[goldenviolet]

1 Peter 1:3-9
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.

 

[bannaboat101]

I know that I sounded stupid and all but this what I feel.

See I believe that the word gay itself means having attractions to the same sex, but homosexuality means having sex with the same sex.

I'm taking the door of hope course at setting captives free and it theachs me how to stay away from the sin because being gay is different then be a homosexual.

I believe once I'm stronger in knowing how to keep away from the sin (which is the sex) that I can have a relationship with another guy that is a christian and believes what I do and we could be together but not together for sex, but for caring and Godly love between each other.

I honestly think that God is saying I can be this way but stay away from the homosexuality which is the sex with the man

 

[Jason19]

Yeah I'm really lost and don't have the fainest Idea what to do. I'm not feeling any type of change in me and I don't even see it. My girlfriend broke up with me and I have a crush on this guy and I'm supposed to be changing and this definatly isn't changing.

I have 100 people telling me what to do. 50% are telling me to change and the other 50% is telling me that I can't do it and I'm born like this and I'm stuck right in the middle of the whole thing.

I don't now what to do. Every night for the last past four days I've been crying to God asking why is he not changing me, why is he putting this burden on me.

I want to believe that he is changing me and working on me but it has been almost a year since I tried to figure out how to change and my faith is falling down which I don't want to fall down. I do love God with my whole heart but I want him to love me back.

I don't even know who I am anymore better yet my place in this world. I don't even know what God wants from me. I do feel like that he wants me to stay this way but I don't know.

How can you tell when God is actually helping, letting you now, showing, and telling you what he wants? How?

I'm really scared because I want God to be able to say well done my son you did my will. But I don't know if it is possible to enter his kingdom this way. I don't know anymore.

Hey Goldenviolet, I was just gonna show the same verse, there is such great truth and comfort and direction in those verses. Here are a few more I like, from the book of James.

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does

12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death

I just want to encourage you Bannaboat101, This is such a hard thing to overcome. You are in my prayers, stay with God, it takes a long time but He does set us free from homosexuality..I wish I could say I don't struggle with it..but I do still, but He does give us the grace to live a pure and pleasing life before Him, and there is no greater joy then that.
There is 100 people yelling at you, telling where to go, but you only have to follow One God's advice. I will be praying that you can find and hear that voice, and obey it. God bless you buddy

 

[Cristiano]

I guess my point is that I don't struggle with Homosexuality as much as i struggle with the whole Christian thing. I am having a hard time lately wrapping myself around this idea that God Loves me but if I don't do what he says, I will burn in Hell. I could not imagine God disowning me for trying to play the hand i was dealt in life. I am also having a hard time with scripture. I have read all the various camps interpetations of scripture and it leaves me confused. I have read the greek says this or does not say that, Context means everything. I also keep hearing that relationships do not have to be sexual, But that is not the point. Most adults move on and have meaningful intimate relationships with a significant other. But at some point we all have a need to be loved and validated as a human being. My lack of this is causing me much grief and distress. But anyway, I wish som eone could say to this young kid, that everything is going to be allright. He is only 16. He needs some hope of a decent life.

The reason why you are having trouble wrapping yourself around the idea that God loves you but condemns you to burn in Hell if you don't do what he says is because that isn't what Christianity is all about. The only thing he asks you to do is repent and ask Christ into your heart to be Lord of your life. Only then will you begin to understand why things happen according to His will. It's crazy to think that becoming a Christian makes everything okay. We are asked to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily. If we are asked to take up a cross and suffer for him daily, then that must mean that we will suffer! Paul, the greatest apostle that ever lived, had a "thorn" in his side until he died. He asked God to take it away three times and God told him instead that His grace was sufficient to bear the burden. See, if everything were perfect, why would we need God? God wants a relationship with us because he loves us. He doesn't want robots. Because he created us to be in fellowship with Him, He wants a response from us. If he left sin unpunished, he would be an evil God. But instead, he is a perfect judge. Therefore, he must punish evil if he is perfect. The point is he gives us a million second chances and he offers freedom from the punishment if we just accept his sacrifice on our behalf. That doesn't mean we will have a perfect life. It means we will have a perfect life when we die, after being perfected throughout our lives.

And as for your comment about needing to be loved and validated by human beings, this is true. But you are equating love with sex. Paul never got married and said it was better not to get married because we can live whole-heartedly for God rather than splitting that with someone else. Marriage is therefore designed for the person who falls in love and or those whose best interest is to marry for lack of self control sexually. See, we are to no longer living according to the flesh if we have been born again spiritually. Are we going to define ourselves as a sexual being or a spiritual being? Yeah, it may suck to not have sexual intercourse because you are not attracted to women, but inside marriage is the only place God allows for it because having sex is not a necessary part of living as a spiritual creature, but is an added benefit. Hope of a decent life is not hope of some sexual activity in the future. Hope of a decent life is hope in the afterlife, for our lives will bring trials and tribulations and struggles, but every tear will be wiped away when we meet God. And by the way, God will not disown you if you have called upon him for your salvation. You may stumble and fall but he will always be there to pick you up with open arms. No matter what you have done, do, or will do, he forgives you. That is what grace and mercy are all about. Grace is receiving something that you don't deserve. Mercy is NOT receiving something you do deserve. Praise the Lord for them both. If you are struggling with Scripture, read the book "The Same Sex Controversy" by James White, which will debunk all of those lies about "interpretation and context" that I once struggled with too. May God bless.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

The reason why you are having trouble wrapping yourself around the idea that God loves you but condemns you to burn in Hell if you don't do what he says is because that isn't what Christianity is all about. The only thing he asks you to do is repent and ask Christ into your heart to be Lord of your life. Only then will you begin to understand why things happen according to His will. It's crazy to think that becoming a Christian makes everything okay. We are asked to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily. If we are asked to take up a cross and suffer for him daily, then that must mean that we will suffer! Paul, the greatest apostle that ever lived, had a "thorn" in his side until he died. He asked God to take it away three times and God told him instead that His grace was sufficient to bear the burden. See, if everything were perfect, why would we need God? God wants a relationship with us because he loves us. He doesn't want robots. Because he created us to be in fellowship with Him, He wants a response from us. If he left sin unpunished, he would be an evil God. But instead, he is a perfect judge. Therefore, he must punish evil if he is perfect. The point is he gives us a million second chances and he offers freedom from the punishment if we just accept his sacrifice on our behalf. That doesn't mean we will have a perfect life. It means we will have a perfect life when we die, after being perfected throughout our lives.

And as for your comment about needing to be loved and validated by human beings, this is true. But you are equating love with sex. Paul never got married and said it was better not to get married because we can live whole-heartedly for God rather than splitting that with someone else. Marriage is therefore designed for the person who falls in love and or those whose best interest is to marry for lack of self control sexually. See, we are to no longer living according to the flesh if we have been born again spiritually. Are we going to define ourselves as a sexual being or a spiritual being? Yeah, it may suck to not have sexual intercourse because you are not attracted to women, but inside marriage is the only place God allows for it because having sex is not a necessary part of living as a spiritual creature, but is an added benefit. Hope of a decent life is not hope of some sexual activity in the future. Hope of a decent life is hope in the afterlife, for our lives will bring trials and tribulations and struggles, but every tear will be wiped away when we meet God. And by the way, God will not disown you if you have called upon him for your salvation. You may stumble and fall but he will always be there to pick you up with open arms. No matter what you have done, do, or will do, he forgives you. That is what grace and mercy are all about. Grace is receiving something that you don't deserve. Mercy is NOT receiving something you do deserve. Praise the Lord for them both. If you are struggling with Scripture, read the book "The Same Sex Controversy" by James White, which will debunk all of those lies about "interpretation and context" that I once struggled with too. May God bless.

Just a quick response: I was not refering to strictly sex. I was meaning an adult consenting intimate relationship. I am refering to Loving another person and wanting to share a life and intimacy. That type of relationship is not derived from a Buddy. I hear what you are saying in your response but I am still having a difficult time grasping what it all actual means. You state God condeming me is not what Christianity is all about, but yet you say he must punish my sins. Thats the part I was refering to. No one asks to be Gay. Most are dealt a hand in life , they never asked for. I am older than you, and believe me after awhile for me the joy of life has faded. My choice comes down to either going for it and trying to make something of my life and that of risking eternal damnation. As I have gotten older, my friends have moved on to adult relationships, this left me with trying to forge new relationships, which end the same way. I often feel inhumane and repressed , because I am forbidded to touch, kiss or hold a person that I feel affection for. This has left me severley conflicted and is starting to affect my mental health. Life has become more and more isolating. Even so called straight people look at me like "accept who you are" I have to make a decision. i used to pray to God for help, but the change never came. this has led me to believe that it was in vain. I have checked out the whole exgay group thing on the internet, I can honestly say, that i have not found anyone who has "really" changed, meaning become heterosexual. Thats why they now say, Its not about becoming heterosexual, its about becoming Holy. It all has left me totally bereft of Hope.

 

[goldenviolet]

1 Peter 1:3-9
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.

in a nut shell christainity is exspressed in this scripture above.
our consquences are all in this life. our punishment is really having the consqences of our own choices and the choices of our father's and generation. God walks through us in it all though. i call that a blessing. you talk of isolation and trials/ struggles. we all have them. please, don't feel like the world sits only on your shoulders. truelly we all daily bear our cross and one another's burdens. if you ever need to talk, please pm me. i got a great big soft shoulder. and because i'm menntally ill, i know what it feels like to be oppressed for who you are.

 

[Cristiano]

Just a quick response: I was not refering to strictly sex. I was meaning an adult consenting intimate relationship. I am refering to Loving another person and wanting to share a life and intimacy. That type of relationship is not derived from a Buddy. I hear what you are saying in your response but I am still having a difficult time grasping what it all actual means. You state God condeming me is not what Christianity is all about, but yet you say he must punish my sins. Thats the part I was refering to. No one asks to be Gay. Most are dealt a hand in life , they never asked for. I am older than you, and believe me after awhile for me the joy of life has faded. My choice comes down to either going for it and trying to make something of my life and that of risking eternal damnation. As I have gotten older, my friends have moved on to adult relationships, this left me with trying to forge new relationships, which end the same way. I often feel inhumane and repressed , because I am forbidded to touch, kiss or hold a person that I feel affection for. This has left me severley conflicted and is starting to affect my mental health. Life has become more and more isolating. Even so called straight people look at me like "accept who you are" I have to make a decision. i used to pray to God for help, but the change never came. this has led me to believe that it was in vain. I have checked out the whole exgay group thing on the internet, I can honestly say, that i have not found anyone who has "really" changed, meaning become heterosexual. Thats why they now say, Its not about becoming heterosexual, its about becoming Holy. It all has left me totally bereft of Hope.

Hey listen, I understand the frustration and hopelessness, for I struggle with the same things. Yes, I am younger than you, but I have spent all 26 years of my life single and am considered the parent figure among all my peers. Many of my friends are married or are getting married in the near future. One of my closest friends is turning 40 this year, so I don't think age matters.

I have experienced the same loneliness and frustration and hopelessness that you have, although maybe a few years less than you. What about those people who know they are called to be single? What would you say to them? Is God not sufficient to meet all their needs? See when we say that we need human intimacy, I agree, but then I have to think, am I completely whole in Christ or am I seeking human intimacy because I am not complete in Christ. That is something I struggle with a lot. God really is sufficient to meet EVERY need, he's God! I think I crave human intimacy because I deep down need a closer relationship with God. When we are completely filled with his spirit, only then can we give our complete selves to someone else.

Let me say that I think falling in love doesn't matter the sex of the person. We are spiritual beings. Different people happen to fall in love with someone of the same sex. If you fall in love with a Christian man who is on fire for God and wants to build that up in you relationship that is awesome. If you spend the rest of your life with a man, so be it. However, the problem is that God does not allow for sexual intimacy with another man. It is against His divine design. So if you think you can live your whole life with another man and not have sexual temptation to express your love for him, you are a stronger man than I, but maybe it's possible. This is what I have come to realize about my sexual orientation: I was born this way, but that doesn't make it right. We were all born with a tendency to lie, be self-seeking, be sexually impure, all those things. That doesn't mean that we have to obey those desires. We are born into sin. Does that mean we blame God for our condition? The flesh is ALWAYS in conflict with the Spirit. But just because my flesh has wanted something since the day I was born, doesn't mean it is a right desire in God's eyes. What about those people who have an attraction to children? or animals? or alcoholism? or drugs? Is their propensity toward those things correct because they were born that way? See, here is what I take hope in: Love does not equal sex. Therefore, God can send a woman into my life to love. Once I have fallen completely in love with her, I will want to know her in every way, including sexually. See in our minds, we subconsciously equate love with sex and think, wow, I am not sexually attracted to women so therefore I cannot ever love one (nor do I have the desire to love one), whereas I am sexually attracted to men and desire to love them emotionally and physically.

But if we think about God's design for man and woman, we can see that he has set it up for a reason, we can only truly be emotionally and sexually whole by sharing that with someone who is completely different emotionally and sexually than we are. That's how we complete each other as humans. It's in our best interest, and God is just looking out for us. I guess I am just saying not to lose hope that God will send someone for you to love intimately that honors his plan if that is your hearts desire. But also, do not lose heart if he calls you to be single. It's his will not ours. We must honor that he will be glorified in his plan and it will be to our benefit. I'd love to talk more, PM me so we can talk if you like.
Peace

 

[goldenviolet]

Hey listen, I understand the frustration and hopelessness, for I struggle with the same things. Yes, I am younger than you, but I have spent all 26 years of my life single and am considered the parent figure among all my peers. Many of my friends are married or are getting married in the near future. One of my closest friends is turning 40 this year, so I don't think age matters.

I have experienced the same loneliness and frustration and hopelessness that you have, although maybe a few years less than you. What about those people who know they are called to be single? What would you say to them? Is God not sufficient to meet all their needs? See when we say that we need human intimacy, I agree, but then I have to think, am I completely whole in Christ or am I seeking human intimacy because I am not complete in Christ. That is something I struggle with a lot. God really is sufficient to meet EVERY need, he's God! I think I crave human intimacy because I deep down need a closer relationship with God. When we are completely filled with his spirit, only then can we give our complete selves to someone else.

Let me say that I think falling in love doesn't matter the sex of the person. We are spiritual beings. Different people happen to fall in love with someone of the same sex. If you fall in love with a Christian man who is on fire for God and wants to build that up in you relationship that is awesome. If you spend the rest of your life with a man, so be it. However, the problem is that God does not allow for sexual intimacy with another man. It is against His divine design. So if you think you can live your whole life with another man and not have sexual temptation to express your love for him, you are a stronger man than I, but maybe it's possible. This is what I have come to realize about my sexual orientation: I was born this way, but that doesn't make it right. We were all born with a tendency to lie, be self-seeking, be sexually impure, all those things. That doesn't mean that we have to obey those desires. We are born into sin. Does that mean we blame God for our condition? The flesh is ALWAYS in conflict with the Spirit. But just because my flesh has wanted something since the day I was born, doesn't mean it is a right desire in God's eyes. What about those people who have an attraction to children? or animals? or alcoholism? or drugs? Is their propensity toward those things correct because they were born that way? See, here is what I take hope in: Love does not equal sex. Therefore, God can send a woman into my life to love. Once I have fallen completely in love with her, I will want to know her in every way, including sexually. See in our minds, we subconsciously equate love with sex and think, wow, I am not sexually attracted to women so therefore I cannot ever love one (nor do I have the desire to love one), whereas I am sexually attracted to men and desire to love them emotionally and physically.

But if we think about God's design for man and woman, we can see that he has set it up for a reason, we can only truly be emotionally and sexually whole by sharing that with someone who is completely different emotionally and sexually than we are. That's how we complete each other as humans. It's in our best interest, and God is just looking out for us. I guess I am just saying not to lose hope that God will send someone for you to love intimately that honors his plan if that is your hearts desire. But also, do not lose heart if he calls you to be single. It's his will not ours. We must honor that he will be glorified in his plan and it will be to our benefit. I'd love to talk more, PM me so we can talk if you like.
Peace

this post is one you need to read all the way through. we deffinantely can love people for many reasons.
but the sexual part isn't something i agree with. i love many people. i can't wait for us all to be together. not all of us have or see sexual desires as apart of love. for me, and many, it is a gift of creation and bonding.
anyway, what matters is that each of us lets God complete us and learns to bear our daily cross of dying to the flesh. you are so right. we are very decietful, and God's will protects us.
(Ecclesiastes 8:4) Since a king's word is supreme, who can say to him, "What are you doing?"

we can love in fellowship we can reach out and build eachother up. this is what we need from eachother.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

this post is one you need to read all the way through. we deffinantely can love people for many reasons.
but the sexual part isn't something i agree with. i love many people. i can't wait for us all to be together. not all of us have or see sexual desires as apart of love. for me, and many, it is a gift of creation and bonding.
anyway, what matters is that each of us lets God complete us and learns to bear our daily cross of dying to the flesh. you are so right. we are very decietful, and God's will protects us.
(Ecclesiastes 8:4) Since a king's word is supreme, who can say to him, "What are you doing?"

we can love in fellowship we can reach out and build eachother up. this is what we need from eachother.

I am not trying to be obstinate or deceitful. I am trying to articulate my feelings. I wish I did not have all these questions, but this is the way my brain works. Why is it that I don't get to have companionship, Love and other nice things, but others do? Why is life tedious for some and not for others? That aspect for me , makes no sense. If you had a child, would you not take care of that child? Would you condemn that child for eternity? This is what is driving me nuts. It seems illogical. Why is it that I see God as someone who is going to punish me for thin gs beyond my control? If it is true that one is born gay, then they did not choose ones feelings. These are the thoughts that I am having issues with.

 

[goldenviolet]

I am not trying to be obstinate or deceitful. I am trying to articulate my feelings. I wish I did not have all these questions, but this is the way my brain works. Why is it that I don't get to have companionship, Love and other nice things, but others do? Why is life tedious for some and not for others? That aspect for me , makes no sense. If you had a child, would you not take care of that child? Would you condemn that child for eternity? This is what is driving me nuts. It seems illogical. Why is it that I see God as someone who is going to punish me for thin gs beyond my control? If it is true that one is born gay, then they did not choose ones feelings. These are the thoughts that I am having issues with.

i'm so so sorry. i didn't mean you were decietful or obstinate. i meant to agree that us as people are sinful.
as to say that we all struggle with some form of our sinful nature....
you aren't condemned. God does care. look at the cross. He first loves us. look at the scripture i put above.