I thought I've heard it all, but...no kissing?

[ThisIsMe123]

I recall going out on a nice date with a Christian I met from a local church. We got to talking about our interest and marriage goals. Then she revealed to me that she was going to wait until she's married before she will kiss any man.

I bit my tongue and went, "What?"

She repeated herself and I said, "Do you think you'd be able to find a man that'd be on board with that. I mean, I can understand the whole waiting for sex until marriage...but kissing? That's not even a sin!"

But she stuck to it.

Needless to say, I moved on. Didn't need that...because I think it was indicative of something else and not God.

I've confirmed this with my other Christian friends, both male and female, and they found this to be a very odd choice in life.

First time I EVER heard of such a thing. I dunno, anyone else experience something as this?

 

[Lost4words]

What if you married her and found out that she had really bad halitosis! Lol....

 

[Moelilian]

I recently went to an Iscf meeting and the guy said kissing brings feelings of lust and that it's wrong etc. after that day I want home researched on it and some people actually don't even hold hands with their date until they know they are the one. I mean like holding hands is a bit too far

 

[Citanul]

I've never met anyone who holds to this, but I have heard of it before. It seems to be linked with more conservative views of relationships like courtship, although no kissing isn't necessarily a part of the courtship concept.

 

[timewerx]

First time I EVER heard of such a thing. I dunno, anyone else experience something as this?

Quite a few times, yes. Another couple I know did the same thing and happily married for many years now....

So....??? What's the problem with that??? It's a personal choice. If you don't like it, leave it and perhaps, don't write about it in the future. It's no big deal.

 

[gennypearl]

A local celebrity named Jewel Mische did it with her husband. And I believe they both consented to it. First kiss only happened during their wedding. It worked for them.

 

[blackribbon]

I have heard of it. Their first kiss is the one that seals their marriage. The intention behind it is that a couple doesn't get involved physically with someone until they commit to marriage. I bet it probably has a pretty good success rate because that requires a lot of commitment to not kiss until you have found "that one". This bride and groom has never experienced heart-break and so probably finds it easier to trust their partner and give more openly within the relationship.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I have heard of it. Their first kiss is the one that seals their marriage. The intention behind it is that a couple doesn't get involved physically with someone until they commit to marriage. I bet it probably has a pretty good success rate because that requires a lot of commitment to not kiss until you have found "that one". This bride and groom has never experienced heart-break and so probably finds it easier to trust their partner and give more openly within the relationship.

I'd be curious to know how young they were. Chances are this would work with younger couples, but not with older, 40-something divorcee's.

I would chalk it off as someone who has problems with intimacy.

A local celebrity named Jewel Mische did it with her husband. And I believe they both consented to it. First kiss only happened during their wedding. It worked for them.

Local celeb.? I'd be curious to know if they actually held to it, after all, you don't what's going on between them when they are off the air, in private.

I'd be curious to know how young they are. Chances are this would work with younger couples, but not with older, 40-something divorcee's or just older singles in general.

I would chalk it off as someone who has problems with intimacy.

Looked her up, apparently she's admitted to having a "messed up pass", so she's likely been already deflowered...at least in the arena of kissing.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I recently went to an Iscf meeting and the guy said kissing brings feelings of lust and that it's wrong etc. after that day I want home researched on it and some people actually don't even hold hands with their date until they know they are the one. I mean like holding hands is a bit too far

What can bring feelings of lust can vary from person to person. I've kissed my fair share of women, but resisted the urge to jump into bed with them. I'm guessing these types are in the extreme minority.

It can only be a problem, if you make it a problem.

 

[gennypearl]

They've been married for 3 years now, she just gave birth to their first child. She is 28 years old. She is the celebrity, but she's not active now since being married. Her husband is an American.

 

[blackribbon]

I'd be curious to know how young they were. Chances are this would work with younger couples, but not with older, 40-something divorcee's.

No way it could work with a divorcee since they have already kissed at least one other person. If this was someone who already had been married, I would also assume that maybe this person just doesn't like kissing or physical contact and is likely to change much after getting married.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

No way it could work with a divorcee since they have already kissed at least one other person. If this was someone who already had been married, I would also assume that maybe this person just doesn't like kissing or physical contact and is likely to change much after getting married.

I actually would think this for both types people to be honest. But apparently, there are some outlier stories that say otherwise.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

it could be a divorced woman making a commitment to purity in not wanting physical involvement with someone unless it's the one they will marry.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

it could be a divorced woman making a commitment to purity in not wanting physical involvement with someone unless it's the one they will marry.

So you're saying kissing is an impure act?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

So you're saying kissing is an impure act?

for some people it might lead to temptations they don't want. it's a personal choice.

 

[salt-n-light]

I recall going out on a nice date with a Christian I met from a local church. We got to talking about our interest and marriage goals. Then she revealed to me that she was going to wait until she's married before she will kiss any man.

I bit my tongue and went, "What?"

She repeated herself and I said, "Do you think you'd be able to find a man that'd be on board with that. I mean, I can understand the whole waiting for sex until marriage...but kissing? That's not even a sin!"

But she stuck to it.

Needless to say, I moved on. Didn't need that...because I think it was indicative of something else and not God.

I've confirmed this with my other Christian friends, both male and female, and they found this to be a very odd choice in life.

First time I EVER heard of such a thing. I dunno, anyone else experience something as this?

This is actually more common than you think. And I don't knock them for it either.
It's not a matter whether or not your way is more of God than hers, but that she has a desire to honor God, for that I respect her.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

This is actually more common than you think. .

Can you prove this?

 

[AnnaDeborah]

I grew up when a lot of churches were teaching this as the 'best' way of courtship, although I think it has always been more popular in the US than over here. I have several friends whose first kiss was at the front of the church on their wedding day! And their marriages have lasted well, so I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. But it's not something to get legalistic about either.

I think what is more dangerous is the 'you should marry the first person you date' idea. I remember feeling tremendous guilt when I split up with my first boyfriend because I had somehow 'blown' my chances of an 'ideal marriage' by not marrying my first date. But at least I finished the relationship - 20+ years on, I do wonder how many others went ahead and married someone they had reservations about because he/she was their first date and it was oh so important to marry that first date!

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

it should never get to the point of legalism but one must be aware of the slippery slope and whether they have enough self control to handle themselves.

the kiss on the cheek can lead to the kiss on the lips, then the tongue, then the full on makeout session, etc, etc. one must take caution.

there's no biblical precedent to bind the conscience against kissing so it's up to the individual's assessment of their own ability to practice self control.

 

[Sketcher]

I'd be curious to know how young they were. Chances are this would work with younger couples, but not with older, 40-something divorcee's.

I would chalk it off as someone who has problems with intimacy.

If she hadn't lived right when she was young and found the Lord later, it's possible that she latched on to an opposite extreme. If this is because of a repeated, demonstrated lack of self-control, it's only masking the problem though.