I thought I've heard it all, but...no kissing?

[.Mikha'el.]

I recall going out on a nice date with a Christian I met from a local church. We got to talking about our interest and marriage goals. Then she revealed to me that she was going to wait until she's married before she will kiss any man.

I bit my tongue and went, "What?"

She repeated herself and I said, "Do you think you'd be able to find a man that'd be on board with that. I mean, I can understand the whole waiting for sex until marriage...but kissing? That's not even a sin!"

But she stuck to it.

Needless to say, I moved on. Didn't need that...because I think it was indicative of something else and not God.

I've confirmed this with my other Christian friends, both male and female, and they found this to be a very odd choice in life.

First time I EVER heard of such a thing. I dunno, anyone else experience something as this?

I have heard of this. It's some hyper purity thing that I don't understand. For me, I'd never consider myself in a relationship until I'd kissed her at least once.

 

[Niels]

I knew a couple in college that did this. The guy was a friend of mine. He was working on a master's degree in one of the sciences, and she was a nursing major. They didn't kiss each other until their wedding day, shortly after graduation. Seemed to work for them.

For the most part, it just seemed like something that they both wanted to do. I didn't feel judged for having kissed girls before. We were involved with the same InterVarsity group, which despite the unfortunate presence of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", didn't actively discourage kissing.

 

[salt-n-light]

Can you prove this?

You can literally google it on YouTube. One that popped up in my mind was this particular video. I like their story it’s powerful.

 

[salt-n-light]

I have heard of this. It's some hyper purity thing that I don't understand. For me, I'd never consider myself in a relationship until I'd kissed her at least once.

That’s all subjective. For some people not having sex before marriage is hyper purity.

In some cultures you don’t even hold hands until you intend to be bf/gf. It’snot something that I would personally be disturbed by.

 

[Swords&Sunflowers]

i haven't kissed anyone on the lips either, i don't mind though, i don't think it is wrong, but it could possibly lead to lust and eventually sexual temptation...but imo, i think it's important to know yourself and your partner, what are your boundaries, how do you guard your heart? honestly, if a guy would kiss me, knowing how naive i am, it might lead to other stuff...lol but idk, i'd rather wait for marriage if i could help it, i just feel it's my way of honoring God and the guy i guess, but these are just my opinions.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

You can literally google it on YouTube. One that popped up in my mind was this particular video. I like their story it’s powerful.

Yeah, and ever consider that Janette is lying? People lie, man.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I have heard of this. It's some hyper purity thing that I don't understand. For me, I'd never consider myself in a relationship until I'd kissed her at least once.

Amen brother. Amen.

 

[Dirk1540]

I think that before marriage romantic stares should be limited to under 5 seconds

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I don't think a quick peck on the lips would lead to lust. I mean don't some cultures have men who greet each other with a kiss? I don't think these men who kiss are all of a sudden inflamed with uncontrollable lust and passion for each other just because of a peck. So in my mind a quick peck will lead to nothing. Now if it's a more "involved" kiss then sure that could easily lead to something greater.

 

[AnnaDeborah]

I think that before marriage romantic stares should be limited to under 5 seconds

I imagine using a stopwatch to make sure your stare doesn't last longer than 5 seconds will make a stare of ANY length unromantic

 

[Dirk1540]

I imagine using a stopwatch to make sure your stare doesn't last longer than 5 seconds will make a stare of ANY length unromantic

Islam ALMOST has it right but they really need to do something about those exposed eyeballs lol

 

[salt-n-light]

Yeah, and ever consider that Janette is lying? People lie, man.

But you’re the definite truth teller?

I choose to trust her, like I choose to trust your version of the story instead of being skeptic and assuming that she probably broke it off with you because you’re a perv.

 

[Matt11Confused]

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Matthew 5:27-28

I don't know. It seems pretty cut and dry to me. Unless of course, you're kissing your dates in the same way that you kiss your mother. Joking aside, what matters is what's going on in the hearts of the two people kissing. In most cases, the answer is they're lusting after each other before marriage and the kissing is a symptom of that. There's also different kinds of kissing. Are we talking about kissing on the cheek? Or something more involved?

If her behavior is common, then it's common; if it's not, then it's not. Regardless, the important question is if her conduct is biblical. It appears that her conduct is indeed biblical.

 

[Rebuilding Season]

I would do this in a relationship.

 

[wannaberocker]

I think making everything so legalistic is a mistake. Its not a matter of "Right or wrong" its more about the two people involved being comfortable enough to do those things. Rather it be holding hands or kissing. When the two people feel ready then they should hold hand or even kiss. I guess when i was younger i was more legalistic in these matters. But, with age i guess i see that turning everything into a legalistic argument n living life that way is just not very much fun.

 

[Toro]

What one's persons convictions are may not be the same as another. If one feels convicted to save even their first kiss, it doesnt make them wrong. No more so than you could be called wrong for not feeling that same conviction.

Where WRONG enters is if one is to push her to do more than her conviction allows or mock her rather than admire and encourage those with more strength than we, to stick to their convictions to not even give in to the temptation to kiss even with the undoubted rejection they face for such convictions.

 

[dreadnought]

I recall going out on a nice date with a Christian I met from a local church. We got to talking about our interest and marriage goals. Then she revealed to me that she was going to wait until she's married before she will kiss any man.

I bit my tongue and went, "What?"

She repeated herself and I said, "Do you think you'd be able to find a man that'd be on board with that. I mean, I can understand the whole waiting for sex until marriage...but kissing? That's not even a sin!"

But she stuck to it.

Needless to say, I moved on. Didn't need that...because I think it was indicative of something else and not God.

I've confirmed this with my other Christian friends, both male and female, and they found this to be a very odd choice in life.

First time I EVER heard of such a thing. I dunno, anyone else experience something as this?

I don't think kissing is a sin, but what does it frequently lead to?

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I don't think kissing is a sin, but what does it frequently lead to?

Fist bumps.

 

[dreadnought]

Fist bumps.

That isn't a sin either. However, I remember my teenage years.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

That isn't a sin either. However, I remember my teenage years.

Obviously it CAN lead to something else. I think the problem is people assuming kissing will= sex when it doesn't. If someone doesn't have any kind of self control then sure do all you can to avoid temptation. But a kiss doesn't mean you will end up going all the way.

Perhaps agree to only kiss when you two are about to leave eachothers place for the night. Then if you kiss there would be no opportunity for it leading to sin because you two will be leaving eachothers company anyways.