I have had crushes on 2 men at the same time and I felt very bad about it. So I prayed, not knowing what to do... I don't have it all figured out yet but I just want to share my experience so far which may help people in similar situations:
I asked myself why did I love them both? Because they were both very kind and caring, I was touched by their kindness. Some would say it's because I love the Jesus in them, that's why. But if that's the case, then I should see them as only brothers in Christ, nothing more, why am I missing both of them so much? Deep down, I know it's because of my loneliness... I feel guilty.
Another thing I really need to ask myself is what are their feelings towards me? In situations like that, everyone may just be developing a crush and no one is at all certain, so how can one decide who is the one? Some may say, well, do your personalities jive, do you have things in common? Let's say, we all have things in common and also things that we don't have in common and personalities that complement one another. Then what?
Then as I began to think, if one truly loves the other, one will boldly tell the other and choose her/him, and if the love is returned, it will stay committed, such that all other people will not be in consideration at all, i.e. all others will be sisters/brothers only. But if that mutual committed love for each other between two people has not really been established, then it was not love at all. I would have to ask myself then: who is it that has given (not just would or will but has already) his heart to me without a single doubt at all, despite knowing all my flaws, without looking for nor considering any other women, who is it that has given his commitment to me and has loved me unselfishly, cherished and honored me? Who is it that has walked and will walk with me in the Lord for an eternity? And who have I returned my love to wholeheartedly? Who have I given my heart to with full confidence in him? That person may not be either of those 2 men, he might not have come yet. But if such a person has indeed come, and if I can answer my own questions above with certainty, then there should be no chance at all I could possibly love another man, as my heart is taken and is fully committed to one man only who has likewise given his whole heart to me already, no matter what trials and tribulations that he and I both will gladly accept and face together with God guiding us every step of the way. That is when I know I don't have to wonder or choose at all, because it's already done. But if I am still wondering, if I find myself in love with 2 men, then that is not love with any one of them, that means only: either he has not chosen me, or I have not chosen him to begin with, i.e. mutual, committed love has not been established to begin with, otherwise the heart will not wander.
