Later, may I have the long answer?
Praying for a great day at work for you! Thanks again! I'm afraid since I don't know whether or not that was a sign, I will make that vow purposefully or accidentally, thinking that God wants me to do that.
thank you!!
You may need to give me some clarification about what type of "answer" you're looking for. I'll attempt to give some more detail here but feel free to ask more questions if I didn't address it satisfactorily. Basically, your OCD is not going to let you rest. So, it will keep making you think that the video was a sign, that you should make a vow, that your mind is going to "accidentally" make the vow, etc., etc. The bummer with OCD is that in order to fight it, you have to take a risk and assume it's OCD, because you'll never know for sure. Because OCD specializes in making us feel confused. So, an example plan for handling this issue would be this:
1. I can't tell for sure if this is OCD, but it feels like it is, so I need to treat it like that. (One thing I've found helpful, an idea I borrowed from Jackie Lea Sommers, is to ask God to cover me by His grace IF I'm making a mistake by treating it as OCD. It always turns out to be OCD anyway, but that prayer still helps me be able to take that risk of identifying the issue as OCD).
2. I have to say no to ANY compulsions that stem from the OCD. That means allowing myself to do all the stuff my OCD is telling me not to do. It also means not blocking the thoughts, asking forgiveness for them, telling God I didn't mean them, etc.
3. Let the thoughts come, realizing that they don't have any real meaning. They're just your OCD, throwing rocks or rotten tomatoes or whatever you want to visualize at you, trying to get you to respond. Every time you respond in fear, by freaking out or performing one of your compulsions, that's a point for OCD. Every time you say "No, I don't think so," to OCD and refuse to obey it, no matter how much you hurt, that's a point for you, and you shrink its power over you. Eventually, if it sees you're continuing to not respond, it stops throwing stuff at you altogether. So, when a thought comes, you just tell yourself "That's a rotten tomato. That's a meaningless thought from my OCD." Let it splat against you. Don't clean it off. Don't respond at all. Let OCD do its thing. It will take awhile, but eventually it will get tired of not getting a response and give up. It's weaker than you think! (Sorry, weird analogy. I like making up strange analogies for OCD because it helps me visualize it better.)
Is this going to be easy? No way. It will hurt like everything, because it feels like you're "giving in" to the thoughts when you don't respond to them. You have to ignore that feeling too. Do what hurts - the opposite of whatever OCD is telling you to do. If it's telling you to respond to the thoughts, to tell God that you didn't mean it, just in case you really DID mean it - ignore it. If it's telling you not to do such-and-such because you might be making a vow - do it. Laugh in its face, and be openly defiant of it. You'll probably continue to be confused by thoughts, feeling like they might not be OCD. You have to keep treating them like OCD. As you come up out of the cycle you'll see more and more clearly that your OCD and your "real" conscience are two different things. You'll be able to differentiate between them. Right now you feel like you can't. But deep down, you really do know the difference. It's just that at the moment, your brain is making you confuse your OCD for your conscience.
One thing that has helped me, when I'm really obsessing, is to set deadlines for myself. "I'm not sure if this is OCD, but I'll treat it as OCD for a day/week/etc." You can even do very short time limits if you need to - an hour, a half hour, whatever. The key is to keep pushing your limits as much as you can. Try cutting out one type of compulsion, or delaying a compulsion for a certain time period. Any step you can take against OCD will help.
One final note: Asking for reassurance is also a compulsion. That means asking about the same thing over and over again, from different angles. OCD will NEVER let us feel at rest about something. It will always think of some other angle - "But WHAT IF....?? What if the video really was a sign, because of XYZ??" (to use one of your examples). Now, I have OCD myself, so I totally get it and I don't mind you asking about something even if you've asked about it before. BUT I just want you to realize that this is a compulsion, something your OCD is getting you to do in order to relieve your anxiety, and one way that you can show your OCD that you have power over it is to refuse it in this area as well. So, if you've already asked about something and gotten the answer that it's OCD, try to refuse to ask again even when OCD comes up with another "what if" scenario. (Like I said, I don't mind at all, but if you have parents or other people that you keep asking, this might be something to consider. Reassurance seeking was one of my main compulsions for a lot of my obsessive themes, so I put my poor parents through a lot LOL).
I hope this helps! If you have more questions just ask!!!